Single Parenthood - Trendy Or Trashy ?

lai lai  not immoral that is to say  you are being Dis - obedient , and selfish and self -loving  and not immoral

when you fornicate or commit adultery  or if any sexual perversion is involved then that is immoral



close your eyes oh 

 

Spoilt can't stick to the issue, yet she is asking me to cool down.

I am as cool as they get.  I am not the one deflecting here am I 

The thing is that soceity does change one greatly sometimes for the worse.
To Americans a lot of things are now relative.
depends on how you see it and many of us have become caught up in this philosophy.

There is no longer a clear demarcation between right and wrong such that even some criminals go unpunished?,it may afterall not be their fault,they were "abused" somewhere by someone,alcoholics no longer have a bad habit,they have a "disease".
Every societal ill has a good reason why it should be so.

Let's keep on with it,very soon maybe not in my lifetime it would sound wierd to even get married since hardly anyone would be bothering to do so afterall half  (in America) end in divorce.
Faraday and Newton I'm sure never imagined men would someday marry fellow men and adopt kids and I never thought  that dope users could inject themselves in the streets of Amsterdam legally.
What a world!

we would soon start having man's best friend as sister and brother in laws afterall animals are just like humans some say,who could deny them "real love"

gnature i went through the thread and it was only full of bashing for women who chose to be single mothers. and how imoral it was and blah blah.
 no one was really addressing the issues of why a woman would feel she doesnt need a man. what experiences she might have had growing up that would make her do drastic things like get inseminated. i was only saying that a bad polygamous upbringing is one reason.abseentee fathers is another.these girls grow up into women who  think they can as well do it alone.  if you think its derailing too bad. i guess just crucifying the women without trying to understand why they do what they do would be sticking to the topic.  

@spolit,

Haba my sister !

This was my first post on this thread:  

(Please read what I had to say in the blue colored portion. As you can see, I am not sexist like that, not at all)

It's good you helped clear things up a bit with this post.

Women who choose not to get married and have kids all in the name of being independent are putting their own interest ahead of their child's.  Anyone with even half a brain knows that a 2-parent household is always better for a child's normal growth than a one parent household.

It is one thing if a woman had been in lots of relationships in which all the men were controlling, cheating, unable to hold a job etc or if all the male role models in her life have all been useless characters. If such woman insists on being a single parent, to me, that is somewhat understandable. Such women just need to seek counseling from a priest to let her know that there are good men out there despite her plight.


But women that have had no problems whatsoever and just choose to be single parents for the sake of being independent are just putting their interest ahead of their child's interest.  I don't know if trashy is the right word to use for such women, but it sure aint trendy.

@ topic

some are talking here like they support boyfriend and girlfriend banging/eating the forbidden fruit and then oops  pregnant, boyfriend not ready, girlfriend you are on your own, isn't that trashy? trendy because it's happening alot. and what is the beauty in such?

Osisi i dey your side for this. i think most single parents are from this girlfriend and boyfriend thingy. Young ladies, let's keep our leg secured.

if it is a blessing, why is one or both rejecting it? if they knew they are pregnant, why not two get involved? please let's stop changing the society into something else!

Osisi, I don't understand what you're talking about. What do you mean by why didn't she close her legs? How does this even to begin to address the issue?. The man and the woman had sex, a child resulted from the union. Whether or not they should have had sex becomes irrelevant after that! The fact is that they've both brought a child into the world and they're both responsible for taking care of that child.

When you say "It has been proven time and time again that in cases where a woman in an unmarried situation decides to conceive,most of the time she is left to bear that burden alone so why do it?" Are you saying that it's ok for a man to totally neglect his responsibility to the child that he fathered just because the woman "decided" to conceive? If the man is the father, then he has responsibilities towards that child, whether he wanted to become a father or not.

Of course, I'm not an advocate of single parenting, as it deprives a child of the joy of growing up with both parents. But when you make statements like "If the woman insists on having kids with a manfriend,she ought to be prepared to raise it alone.", that's just baffling, because NO ONE, whether man or woman, has any right to bring a child into the world and then abandon it for any reason.

Let's even assume that the woman insists on having a child, does that relieve the man of the responsibilities that come with  fathering a child? If he doesn't want a child, he should simply not have sex with her -- afterall it's not compulsory. But as long as he's sleeping with her, there's always going to be the possibility of a child resulting from the union, and he should be prepared to take responsibility in the event that it materializes. If you want to classify that as "tying down a man" then that's up to you.

Again let's even assume that she got pregnant against his wishes. How does this relate to the child that has been brought into the world?? Does he now "punish" the child by abandoning it because of the "sins" of the mother? How irresponsible! Ultimately, it's the child who suffers the most damage.

The fact remains when two people bring a child into this world, BOTH are responsible for taking care of that child. The man and woman involved may not want to have a relationship with eachother, but they have parental responsibilities towards that child which BOTH of them must fulfil. I will hesistate to blame the single mother because at least she's playing her role as a parent. Where's the father? Who does he expect to fill the void he has created in the life of the child that he fathered and abandoned?

Lots of women do, especially here in the west. That was the whole point of bringing up this thread and please, just because you haven't met any personally doesn't mean they don't exist.


What you are talking about here is completely different from the point of this thread. This is what was posted by @iyken (the thread starter) for your clarification:

"we're talking 'bout cases where  ladies just choose not to get married but choose to have kids in name of independence"

These are the women I was referring to in my posts, not the ones you are referencing. There are women who go to sperm donor clinics and pay money to get pregnant. They never ever intend to get married all in the name of being independent. These are the women I am referring to, not the ones that got pregnant by mistake or were mislead by some guy as you have stated.

The women I am talking about have never been in a relationship, period. They just want to have a child with no intention of the child having a father, and they never plan on getting married - all in the name of being independent.

thanks samsillo for clarifying your earlier post!

almost had my head bashed in last night! "  " ^{is it the other way around?}



word ! its all good!

?

wendy I agree 100% with this statement.
While single parenthood should not be glorified such that people think it's ok to have kids unmarried,at the same time a man who has fathered a baby ought to raise it.
That is why I love America and the garnishing of wages for delinquent fathers.

Ehen, now you're talking 

What kind of man gives away his sperm just like that with no intent of fathering the resulting child ?

What kind of woman gets a young man to inseminate her for "some easy fantastic package"

What on God's earth is the world coming to ?

Anyone that thinks its easy bringing up a child is fooling himself,
its a 24 hr a day job.
It is easy to go and get a regular 8 hr job than looking after a child.
Children also cost a lot of money and no matter how good the welfare, they do not shove the money up your ass.

Word!
sadly it is true even here in the USA,all a no-good high school drops needs to get an apartment and a monthly allowance plus free groceries is one night of sinful pleasure without protection.

Just as the belle begins growing,she signs up at the right places and voila she gets a monthly income,free healthcare with a one or two bedroom to match.
When she needs "salary increases" just pop out another deshawn or rayshun,she'll even get a bigger apartment with government money to pay for childcare,milk,coupons for clothing from charity organisations the only thing she is required to do is push out the baby/babies at the appointed time,they'll even give her a free car seat and a coupon to charter a taxi for the ride home.

ha! Osisi 
but its doesn't come easily for them even with all the free things. they bear much burden.

trendy and trashy