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gbade. x (m)
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ayo, i need help with Unreal Tournament. I've been playing the game and had won 5 matches on Deathmatch. Each time i try progressing to the next stage, the game shuts down/crashes giving me some stupid message (Critical Error blah blah is more like it). I switched to Dominion. Won all the stages remaining the last, same shit happened. Switched ta "Capture the Flag", i couldn't even play the first stage, crashed immediately. Please, what can i do? I really need help 'cause i've been trying to get this thing working. Anybody got helpful tips? Darkie? C0dec? Tp? Neo? Anyone? The G-man seriously needs your help.
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dakmanzero (m)
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Its a bad dump, dude. Corrupt audio. Go get a better copy of the game, its all over the 'net.
I'd have said buy an original, but thy are nowhere to be found,
What are u doing playing UT anyway? Get UT2004 and play THAT instead!
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gbade. x (m)
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I tried getting UT2004 at computer village. I couldn't. The general bullshit was that it was not available and it was only UT G.O.T.Y edition that was available, so i had to settle for the second. crap. I'd probably go cop Halo: Combat Evolved when next i get to comp village. dumbass village.
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dakmanzero (m)
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what are the specs of your pc.
I mean complete specs, including make and model of video card
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gbade. x (m)
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Pentium III 1Ghz processing speed 384 RAM video card - i'd soon be getting a VGA card at comp. villagebut my computer meets the minimum requirments for that UT G.O.T.Y game (4MB)
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gbade. x (m)
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Oh, and that video card's that dumbass Intel Graphics Controller. . . .
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dakmanzero (m)
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Dude.
You are a guy so I'm not going to soften this blow. No apologies for the insults I will throw at your system, either.
Sorry to say but that system totally blows donkey balls
Are you a TRUE gamer? If so then get a decent rig already! That your machine is for word and excel, not GAMING!
If u can't afford a decent gaming rig then buy a console like a ps1 or something. That machine is a disgrace to gamers everywhere!
forget UT2004. It will spit your system out like kelebe. UT GOTY will work, but you will have to disable all hardware rendering (opengl and direct3d). That means play in software mode. YUCK! horrible! kelebe tue! tufiakwana tue!!!!!! vomit!!!!!!!!
The error is probably your crappy intel card refusing to work. Bros! Get a new system! Even a new video card may not help u. That system am sure nefa get AGP sef!
And the day you challenge TRUE gamers with their wicked PCI express Radeon X1950 dual crossfire quad core liquid cooled death machines, they will RAPE YOUR BUTTHOLE and make your testosterone level go WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY down as you wallow in feelings of INADEQUACY and defeat! your PEN1S LENGTH will then REDUCE and your VOICE will become HIGH PITCHED!!!!!
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gbade. x (m)
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Thanks bro, that was more like it!  I'm more of the console person. Getting a system to play games seems like a bucketload of bullshit- considering the fact that my cousins, PC gamers have been trying for years to convert me. Seems like i'm reverting back to the box and ps2. Besides, the PC's got more functions , gaming's just by the way. . .
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shockreaction (m)
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There's something wrong with all the pirated copies of UT GOTY that you'll find in Computer Village. They won't work after you get past a certain level. Fact.
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chukky76 (m)
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I CONCUR. MINE IS A GREAT MACHINE. SAME ERROR. I DOWNLOADED ONE WAY BACK IN UNIBEN AND IT WORKED PERFECTLY BUT SOME CHICK SAT ON THE CD AFTER A REFORMAT SO I LOST IT. I'VE BOUGHT LIKE 6 COPIES FROM COMPUTER VILLAGE. JUST HOPING. BUT NADA.
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gbade. x (m)
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@ shockreaction:
but i've got friends up in ikorodu who have the pira GOTY and it works without qualms on their PC. Sure, it crashes but they switch the PC off and on and it's back to normal. They've gone way past Deathmatch, Dominion and Capture the Flag. . .
@chukky:
tru story bro!
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dakmanzero (m)
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The pirated ut that u guys diwnloaded back in the day was minus the GOTY patches
Patches made the game more AWESOME. Too awesome for your WEAK pcs. You guys should google and find a way to downgrade to software mode. No more crashes, then. Better still, get a proper gaming PC
HAH Gbade are you running? scared? PC gaming too HARDCORE for your GIRLY arse? You Not MASCULINE enough?
Dont u know that a KILLER GAMING RIG is second only to PEN1S LENGTH in measuring the Raw, testosterone-fuelled MASCULINITY of a red blooded Mountain Of Manly Man?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
DUDE! Get out there and PIMP THAT PC! Running away because u can't bear to compete against the true Mouse-ninjas of this world. HAH! well, go fondle your GIRLY JOYSTICKS on consoles, then!
Theres a reason why GAMING MICE resemble BOOBS and JOYSTICKS resemble tha PEN1S!!!!! Yeeeeeah because the REAL MEN have a handful of succulent girly breast everyday while the CONSOLE NOOBS have, YOU GET THE IDEA!!!!
(of course I have no idea what that says about the likes of me that have a ps2, xbox360,DS,PSP AND a super dual core Geforce 7800 gaming rig, )
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texazzpete (m)
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@dakmanzero Thou art truly a man of iniquity!
but seriously, for like 6k you can get a geforce 6 gfx card at otigba ( i think!). why rely on the crappy intel graphics accelerator? not sure if you guys realize this, but UT GOTY is a 1999 game. please, u don't need beyonce to upgrade yourself, go spend a li'l dough and get wasted!!
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dakmanzero (m)
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Texazzpete
you fail to grsp the depth of this man's emasculatedness
DUDE. he's using a p3 with 384 ram and an intel chipset.
common intel chipsets for p3's were 810, 82810,815 et al.
that means barely dx6 compliant. No t&l, no shaders, no NOTHING and SHARED FRICKIN MEMORY
making matters worse, his joke of a motherboard most likely does not have AGP slots because intel's evil intent caused them to deny most integ mobo's an expansion slot. That limits him to DX6-class TNT2's running through PCI which is MURDER! I know because I HAVE DONE THAT BEFORE! its horrible trust me!
if u advise him to buy a vidcard i swear you will be on this forum for the next 6 months helping him troubleshoot his board's weird behaviour. And I will NOT help!!!!!
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temmyabby (f)
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I suppose the CD from which you installed the Game from was not Original, nothings wrong with it, its just that for some of them not all the extension files like dll and bin are present so you can't play all the levels and stuff like that, so basically I'll think you should try getting another CD and then install it again, I've been there before.
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otoidea (m)
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from what i see , it seems u got your copy frm computer villa , and they only av 1 copy circulatin that has sum corrupted filez. unreal tournament rocks!!! dwnload a fresh copy online and u sud be ok the game is best enjoyed in a local area network wher thers bout 3-10 players participatin in a deathmatch!!! frag em all!!! 
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dakmanzero (m)
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Yep. UT on a lan is excellent. Not a patch on Quake3 LAN, though  Gbade claims others have played succesfully. Unless he was blowing smoke from his arse it would point to the intel card going haywire however back in the day, I succesfully played UT on an intel810 equipped machine, and it ran with 3d acceleration, pretty smooth. UT is an 8-year old game, afterall. Abeg gbade don't mind me. your PC is still gay but it should handle UT. Play in software first and lets hear whats up.
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dearstan (m)
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@texazzpete i don't subscribe to buying a new graphics card. darkman has said it all, his system is crap and needs upgrading. morestill all those vga's they sell for 6k don't work. I can swear to that because have been a victim. My advice is that when buying a card, make sure you buy the genuine expensive ones and not the cheap ones, cus i had to spend an xtra 11k to buy another after wasting 6k.
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dakmanzero (m)
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@gamine what???  His system is GAY!I had to say it like it is, na! 
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oyb (m)
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dakmanzero, are you implying that console cowboys are wankers (since they play games with their joysticks)? 
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dakmanzero (m)
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lol was just trying to be dramatic and get a furious response from gbade obviously the attempt failed, lololol I have 2 consoles. Am not a wanker, ok? 
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gbade. x (m)
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Lol, you should know better than that i wouldn't fall fo' that bait. Besides, i've uninstalled the game. . . . console cowboys? Lol, that's the first time i've heard that. Sounds gay though. . .  oh and, @ darkman0 : thou art a charlatan full of inquity! A blackguard ye art! Thy ass has been critical of gbade, when thy right hand possesses a truckload of gaming gizmos! lo thou art the hypocrite! Thou seeketh to pluck the speck of earth in mine eyes, yet thou has a tree-trunk resting betwixt thine eye sockets! Oh thou gbade haters, thy day of reckoning cometh speedily! Lo and behold, there shall be gnashing of teeth, bitchslapping, nut-slashing! Run, shall ye while i yell ,"stand and fight, you mangy cur!". But ye shall squeal like the pussy ye are!
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gbade. x (m)
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I did. didn't avail much. I uninstalled and re-installed. This time around, the game doesn't even load. just gives me some crap about Critical Error. Uninstalling again, will face me consoles once again. PS: you once mentioned something about troubleshooting. Pray, what would happen to my PC if i got a new video card? Besides, the PC is not gay. I named it Tinky-Winky (Sir Twinkle for short) after me favorite Teletubbie character  . Now tell me, how's that gay??! enough with the gay talk, back to olde english  ! Dost thou dare accuse me PC of gaylordness? The last straw thou hath attained. Buckle thy verbal sword! Engarde, ye yellow bellied mongrel! Thou useth thy lips loosely - utterly homo of thine persona, my good Sir darkie! Thou art merciless and lo, a playa hater. Bringing a brethren down to further and gloat thine PC's testorone levels! A true blackguard ye art. True the words rings, he that is down need fear no fall. thou must doeth quick to know gbade just bought the PC. Playa hating on thine brethren ain't kosher*, good sir! Nay, it isn't gangsta! Recant thy vituperations and bare false witness no more! Index* - gbade hates the word "kosher" but as it fits into the description/context it had to be used
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dakmanzero (m)
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ROFL!
So you bow in the presence of my Masculine PC.
It is superior.
Anyways, u said even in software mode it crashes? In that case I'll have to go with my first assesment, bad dump. If they are selling a bad dump at Ikeja, well, too bad for everyone that buys one.
Funny enough, unreal GOTY is old enough that the origio should be cheap enough at one of the high street stores, eg galleria, etc. Prolly when I get back to Lagos I can burn a copy of UT that I have for you, no sweat. My littlest bro still plays it on my aging pentium-233mhz in software mode but with horrible framerates.
As for gfx cards, The troubleshooting issue may or may not be a nightmare depending on how computer-inclined you are. And since u sound like u are just waiting for an excuse to claim your weak pathetic consoles are anything more than mere worms in the presence of the MIGHTY PC, I do not relish the thought of sittting down discussing directx, t&l, AGP and driver revisions with your Joystick twiddling arse!
Begone serf! Humble thyself upon thy hands and knees, lower thine eyes in the presence of thy SUPERIOR! Rend thy filthy rags of garments, devour thine hair, gnash thy leprous teeth and wail in despair for Thou failest it!
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gbade. x (m)
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Lol, dude don't get the impression i'm not computer-inclined. used to be a mac OSX user till later last year. had a personal mac-mini i used ta use while working at a café. And please, i know about grafx, AGPS, drivers and shit. Gaming on consoles isn't just my style. Hell, i had to buy dual USB controllers to play Pro Evolution 5. That keyboard and mouse thingy puts me off at times (except of course FPS which is my favorite genre!)
I spoke to Mr. Twinkles this afternoon. he said he thinks your PC's an agbaya and the gaylord - too much masculinity resulting in an overdrive of testorone levels ,he said.
Nay, never say i! Truely i saith unto thee, thy PC's nothing but every hardcore geek's wank tool. Thy gizmoes doeth thou no good. Thy vanity knowest no bounds!!! Me get on me knees?? My good sir, vex me not!! Vex me not, i say! If thou refuses to recant thy slants, lo, shall i go to iya lasisi's for a plate of eba. . . .and some efo riro! Truely i say, a blow struck betwixt thine eyes shall i! Thou shalt wail! Thou shalt say nay, gbade thy PC is the shit!!
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gbade. x (m)
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Lol, dude don't get the impression i'm not computer-inclined. used to be a mac OSX user till later last year. had a personal mac-mini i used ta use while working at a café. And please, i know about grafx, AGPS, drivers and shit. Gaming on consoles isn't just my style. Hell, i had to buy dual USB controllers to play Pro Evolution 5. That keyboard and mouse thingy puts me off at times (except of course FPS which is my favorite genre!)
I spoke to Mr. Twinkles this afternoon. he said he thinks your PC's an agbaya and the gaylord - too much masculinity resulting in an overdrive of testorone levels ,he said.
Nay, never say i! Truely i saith unto thee, thy PC's nothing but every hardcore geek's wank tool. Thy gizmoes doeth thou no good. Thy vanity knowest no bounds!!! Me get on me knees?? My good sir, vex me not!! Vex me not, i say! If thou refuses to recant thy slants, lo, shall i go to iya lasisi's for a plate of eba. . . .and some efo riro! Truely i say, a blow struck betwixt thine eyes shall i! Thou shalt wail! Thou shalt say nay, gbade thy PC is the shit!!
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dakmanzero (m)
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Oh God! Shakespear in-SANE! I can't stop laughing!  lololololol!!!!! anyway, back to matters at hand. A MAC?!??!?! and you call yourself COMPUTER INCLINED? HAH! Steve jobs calls the Mac OS interface 'LICKABLE' !!!! Now tell me, what screams GAY louder than that?!?!?!?!  Get a REAL PC, dude. Not some partially-eaten fruit. And not a Gay pc like Mr twinkles. Get some REAL horsepower. Go get an XPS or ALienware Monster machine and then we know you've been saved from your girly macs. Tufia.
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gbade. x (m)
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So because the MAC-daddy-o has a clean and easy-to-use interface, it is GAY? Negro Please!! Quit hatin' on the mac and get your mack on!!! And Mr. Twinkles is not gay  . . .he's only in touch with his feminine side  !!! The reason why i asked about the troubleshooting and ish was because my older bro just gave me some video card - s3 trio64. i'ma go get the driver online soon. . . PS: have you played "Halo: Combat Evolved"? If you have, is the concept similar to that of Unreal Tournament? Now back to some olde english  !! Verily, verily i say unto thee ; thou art a playa hater! A hand of truce i shewed thee, and thou spewed forth thy spittle on it! Dost thou revere thy gay Pc so much? Come my good sir, let thee and i reason together. Thy Pc bounds thee in shackles of testorone - alas, a large yoke it be! Thy ass needs a touch from the very well known Mr. Twinkles  . Before thou showeth thy playa-hatin' ass, thou must baptize thyself in the funk of Twinkles! So my good sir, hate no more and mayhap, i would shew thee the path to iya lasisi's for some good ol' fufu  ! PS : incase thy ass rumbles after fufu at iya lasisi's, thou needest a quick fix at the emergency sanitary sanctuary - iya lateef's the SHALANGA  !! Happy blasting. . . .
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skyope (m)
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Sorry guys. But i need help here. 'new psp. What do i get' can someone click on that topic and help me out. Please
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dakmanzero (m)
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UT has a prayer of working on your system, but if u intend to run halo u may as well be playing a slide-show, or wireframe graphics.
Halo came out 4 years after UT and absolutely murdered any system that tried to run it. Good luck with that trio3D
sorry but you are better off with the Intel than that piece of dog shit. S3 is the pits of crapness. I have an S3 savage chipset in my northwood p4, and it constantly reminds me of its utter craptitude. Throw that card in the bin where it belongs.
Back in 2001 we used a trio3d to play quake3 on a brand shiny new p3. The thing stalled every 5 seconds , for like 10 seconds each time. That card is rubbish. But if u can get it to work, more grease to ya elbow.
stay away from everything that isnt ATI or NVIDIA, and even then don't get anything less than a geforce or radeon. Even then, there are crappy geforces and radeons out there. ooooh gbele oh. Sorry my guy but,
MASCULINITY AINT FOR THE MASSES
If you want to play halo on a console then, well, welcome to the king of console FPS's. It's excellent, for a console game. But UT is a whole different kettle of fish. If u challenge a PC gamer with your gay console skills prepare to be RAPED.
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