Need Your Assistant ! Motivation Letter For Admission Into Master’s Degree

Hello Nairalanders,
I need your help, a friend of mine is trying to get an admission into a university. He is asked to write a motivation letter.  Please feel free to comment this letter.




Admission into Master’s Degree in Computer Science and Communication Engineering

I am writing to you to apply for the Master’s Degree in Computer Science and Communication Engineering in which I am particularly interested.
My aim is to work in an international field related to Information technology industry. Therefore I would like to gain a deeper theoretical knowledge in electrical engineering, computer science and communication networks.  I believe university of Duisburg-Essen with an interdisciplinary Master degree course in Computer Science and Communication Engineering is the best place to achieve my career objectives.

I just completed bachelor’s degree in Computer Science and Communication Engineering from the University of Duisburg-Essen with an average grade of 2,6.  To further prepare myself for the program I completed a 3 month internship at Fraunhofer institute during my bachelor study. And I also worked a year and half at Etablissement NIC before my bachelor study. Thus I gained a valuable practical experience in computer maintenance, web development and network administration. I completed my bachelor thesis with a grade of 1,0  at Fraunhofer institute in microelectronic department. I also participate in a project at this same institute.  I tremendously enjoyed my experience.

I would finally like to add some activities which have developed in me a permanent taste of competitiveness and also emphasized my organization skills.  Since 2 years, I have been working voluntarily for IAESTE (International Association for the Exchange of Students for Technical Experience) under DAAD.  I have recently become responsible of the organization of IAESTE University of Duisburg.

Of an exceptional motivation, I strongly imply myself in my academic activities to carry out my objectives. I passed all the courses offered in bachelor study during the first trial except one. I have a very strong desire to pursue a career in (something will come here later) , 

The ambitions which I have just exposed to you would not be realized without a solid theoretical background and a strong real world experience specialized in system analysis and conception of application systems in communication networks. I am deeply convinced that the interdisciplinary Master degree course that ISE Program offers is the best way of concretizing this future because of its international orientation, well structured and . A completion of this Master’s Degree in University of Duisburg-Essen will be an excellent springboard for my future career and will provide me the knowledge and confidence to realize my dreams. Furthermore, the courses this program combines match perfectly my professional projects and academic expectations.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Yours faithfully,

,

Hi

Is this your motivation letter or you posted this for someone???, If it is your letter, then you have the general drift of what it should, it needs structure, some kind of flow. Also, you could take a look at your spelling, If i am the Admin officer,i will consider this too long, You need to reduce it,

D