Can Marriage Survive Without Children

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Family  |  Can Marriage Survive Without Children
Poll
Question: can love take the place of children in marriage  (Voting closed: June 14, 2007, 02:51 AM)
yes - 38 (65.5%)
no - 20 (34.5%)
Total Votes: 58

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Author Topic: Can Marriage Survive Without Children  (Read 1702 views)
akino (m)
Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« on: May 25, 2007, 01:27 AM »

In typical African setting,any marriage without issue will definitely incur the wroth of the immediate and extended family.Is marriage  all about child bearing or Love should be the focus
niceuzor
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #1 on: May 25, 2007, 02:23 AM »

My guy Seun just dey change your topic like say na him bi the author of this thread,


Oga make u leave the thread the way e bi before.

Abeg.
omogenaija (f)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #2 on: May 25, 2007, 02:46 AM »

of course love should be the focus of marriage and also what the couple wants in the marriage , 
some couples don't want kids while others do
and i hope the couple knows what their partners want in a marriage before they get married.
uspry1 (f)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #3 on: May 25, 2007, 03:14 AM »

The love is the most important part of the foundation of the marriage relationship that is based on both couples' compromise of their marriage expectation whether they want to have children or not!

That is different strokes for different people!!!

What if your wife or husband cannot produce making babies due to health reason or other circumstances, can their marriage survive without children? Some marriage can survive, some doesn't!!! Think about it!!!
niceuzor
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #4 on: May 25, 2007, 03:41 AM »

Still thinking about it my dear. Wink
chiegemba (f)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #5 on: May 25, 2007, 04:00 AM »

not necessary though,  Some marriages without a child still gets the necessary respect needed depends on how u present yourself to the family/ extended.
niceuzor
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #6 on: May 25, 2007, 04:15 AM »

Quote from: chiegemba on May 25, 2007, 04:00 AM
not necessary though,  Some marriages without a child still gets the necessary respect needed depends on how u present yourself to the family/ extended.

Good one from you dear. Wink

@topic

yes some marriage can survive without children
if both party are ready to abort children, because that
the only way i think marriage can survive with children,
in order word with God are things re possible both have
to hold on to God, remember the story of Abraham in the bible

spoilt (f)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #7 on: May 25, 2007, 05:57 AM »

many couples have a hoard of kids and still got divorced.  Grin
niceuzor
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #8 on: May 25, 2007, 06:03 AM »

how do u mean? Cool
spoilt (f)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #9 on: May 25, 2007, 06:11 AM »

having plenty children doesnt guaranty you happiness!
niceuzor
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #10 on: May 25, 2007, 06:28 AM »

"Too many children you say".re u trying to say family

planning can't make marriage survive without children?
Everbright (f)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #11 on: May 25, 2007, 08:23 AM »

It all depends on the couple
If children are the only  reason why they married,then definitely the marriage won't survive without kids
But if they married for LOVE,then when the challenges of childlessness set in,they should be able to reason together
and come to terms with the fact that the children at orphanages need to be taken care of.
joobreel (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #12 on: May 25, 2007, 09:04 AM »

yes it is possible for marriage to survive without kids but this is africa, nigeria especially. if love will hold such a marriage where there are pressures from every angle, then that love must be made in heaven. these type of marriages survive but what are the %s. on adoption of kids, no matter how you try, it can never beas having your own bilogical kids. i ahve seen marriage of 12 years collapsed before they have no kids for each other despite the fact that the two parties have children( not for each other) . lets just pray such a situation happens to us because that is when you can really say if it will survive or not. all the best as you journey into/in your marriages
richylaw (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #13 on: May 25, 2007, 09:09 AM »

It is quite possible for marriage to survive without children, but that is if you are  outside the confines of the african context and you are totally let loose of ancenstral and cultural influence of our african nourished traditions.
Vicjustice (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #14 on: May 25, 2007, 09:32 AM »

In western world, marriages can survive without children and children can survive without marriages.
Seun (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #15 on: May 25, 2007, 11:10 AM »

Adoption is a very good option for those who can't conceive naturally.  An adopted child is 99.999% of a 'real' child.
just me (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #16 on: May 25, 2007, 11:13 AM »

it depends on the circumstances and the patners themselves but personally, i ld rather be unmarried with kid(s) than vice-versa
lobinoxebe (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #17 on: May 25, 2007, 11:30 AM »

let us be realistic and don't decieve ourself,


LOve and children are two differnt things in marriage,


most marriages whtuout children got colapes about 70% out of 100%


most of those that endures may be pastors and rev,


Child na the koko,
saints_1 (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #18 on: May 25, 2007, 12:03 PM »

Yes,Its quite possible for a marriage to survive without children in as much as "Geniue Love" and i repeat geniue love exists,But here in Africa especially in Nigeria,It takes the divine intervntion of God for both couples to remain together because of pressure from both the families,But its possible if Love exists.


www.linkspam.blogsot.com
Soundmind (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #19 on: May 25, 2007, 12:25 PM »

In typical African setting, Marriage is for procreation not necessarily for love. that is why there is polygamy and early marriage. But since western education and christianity came into Africa, it is gradually been diluted.
Even at that, most marriage do not survive if there is no issue even in strong christian family. Enlightened ones go for adoption while others file for divorce. So generally, about 80% of marriage in Africa is looking at child bearing as the focal point of marriage than any other thing.
amosaye
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #20 on: May 25, 2007, 12:28 PM »

Yes, marriage can survive without children. We all know that anything is possible if there is the will. But the prayer is may non of us fall victim of such circumstance. Certain things are better explained than experienced.

ADVICE: make sure you truly love the person you want to marry. It makes a lot of things bearable.
2dye4 (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #21 on: May 25, 2007, 01:37 PM »

It would it be fair to say those challenged when it comes to pro-creation are not eligible for marriage? "NO"

Marriage, first of all is about love & companionship, kids are added benefits from God.
If kids were the underlining factor for d survival of any marriage, then how do you explain the kids that products of broken homes? Huh
wavemasta (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #22 on: May 25, 2007, 01:52 PM »

I was told of a dutch couple who decided they didnt want any kids at all when they are married.
To the best of my knowledge, they are still together, and happy.
The whole issue of kids in marriage is mostly due to our culture placing so much importance on it.
So having kids is  not really neccessary for a marriage to be strong. Except if you specify a "nigerian/african "
marriage.(And some do work).
For me, I would like to have kids oh!
bigbaby (f)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #23 on: May 25, 2007, 02:17 PM »

Quote from: Everbright on May 25, 2007, 08:23 AM
It all depends on the couple
If children are the only  reason why they married,then definitely the marriage won't survive without kids
But if they married for LOVE,then when the challenges of childlessness set in,they should be able to reason together
and come to terms with the fact that the children at orphanages need to be taken care of.
               
       trust me i am speaking frm experience. my friends uncle and aunt have been married 4 4yr now with no kids and they are still happy
Ezinwannem
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #24 on: May 25, 2007, 03:28 PM »

I disagree,  I have an aunt who do not have a baby since she married. She is in her late 40's now. Unfortunately, the husband died last week Tuesday in a motor accident. May His Soul Rest in Peace, Amen
BillGatesFan (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #25 on: May 25, 2007, 03:35 PM »


What am I doing in a marriage without a fruit? My bible tells me that any tree that does not bear fruit shall be cut down, better be a celibate MONK than be in a marriage without a child.

In that way I can use my Precious SPERM in the service of GOD and for my spiritual evolution instead of allowing one yeye woman to conterminate me and yet can't give me a child to show for it.
Ezinwannem
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #26 on: May 25, 2007, 03:42 PM »

dawg, what happens if it is your fault, does the same believe apply?
Ezinwannem
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #27 on: May 25, 2007, 03:51 PM »

BillGatFan, how is Quebec treating u? u dey 4 Montreal?
Maleeq (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #28 on: May 25, 2007, 04:11 PM »

@Topic

Yes, marriage can survive without children. In our society (Nigeria), the union is expected to produce fruits though. Anything short of that and you'll have the entire neighbourhood prying, wanting to know which one of the couple is "inactive" or stuffs like that.

It could be a matter of choice, either mutual or based on health risk that the couple don't give birth to any child. Bottom line is that they'll (especially the woman) feel depressed most of the time when they think about it. This depression would be light based the feelings they truly have for themselves.

I can't remember the book title, but I once read that the ultimate desire of every human union is the continuity of their blood line.(Animal Instincts!)
iyken (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #29 on: May 25, 2007, 04:21 PM »

Quote from: BillGatesFan on May 25, 2007, 03:35 PM
What am I doing in a marriage without a fruit? My bible tells me that any tree that does not bear fruit shall be cut down, better be a celibate MONK than be in a marriage without a child.

In that way I can use my Precious SPERM in the service of GOD and for my spiritual evolution instead of allowing one yeye woman to conterminate me and yet can't give me a child to show for it.

Oops! that hurts Embarrassed
mi1 (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #30 on: May 25, 2007, 05:13 PM »

Good topic.

Honestly kids do help d bonding of the couples.

But it depends on what d couples want 1st.

sometimes u need to know what u want in a relationship before goin into it.

Afterall what is d main reason 4 marrying,
bantos (m)
Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children
« #31 on: May 25, 2007, 05:26 PM »

 love covers all
 If Your Husband-To-Be "Murders" Queen's English Daily!  What If A Girl Proposes Marriage To You?  I Want To Change My Name  Page 2
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