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layi (m)
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How Do You Protect Yourself In Marriage?
Mutual Fidelity has so far been the safest way couples can protect themselves from HIV and other STDS. But blind faith has never been my thing. You can only trust yourself completely. I can't use condoms all through because i need kids.
How do you protect yourself in marriage?
I'm not married, just curious
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sage (m)
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yeah Layi, thatz one thing i sometimes wonder about too. Even somebody who does not want to have sex prior to marriage to avoid this might end up in a very bad situation. I know somebody that caught something from the wife. He is dead now. I don't know, but itz really possible to be faithful and still run a risk. I have many friends that have had unprotected sex with married women and i am like  . Personally, what i think is that il deal with somebody who understands the importance of safe sex and 100% condom usage just in case she is mad enough to cheat (and at times it could be irrational thinking or a mistake since we are humans), at least she should protect herself and me.I as a guy can forgive infidelity on the part of my wife, but she should be wise enough to run that kind of a risk and put her life and mine in danger. It goes both ways though. |
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gentleaura (m)
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I know we have to be cautious of how we have sex just because we don't want to get all what is not ours.but it doesnt really stop at that, there should be an iota of trust in the marriage you are getting into.
Moreover, the level of fidelity with ladies are more higher than the guys, I can't just imagine that faithful lady coming back to have unprotected sex with the husband and the man brought her d disease thats not hers. We just have to be careful of where we stick that thing in. You can do it* whenever u want to do it with condom, but u knw u need kids huh?...
Why don't u take your partner and yourself to the doctor's and go for a test? See the certified result from the doctor, I bet that can still give u some mind of rest about your partner. We can't continue living in fears else abstinence might just be the answer or strictly protected sex!
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prettyH (f)
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I'm sorry but why should you be protecting yourself from STDs when you're married? That just shows a lack of trust in your partner.
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Seun (m)
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prettyH, how many men or women can be trusted these days? Do not neglect your responsibility to yourself just because of emotions.
If you know that you can trust your partner absolutely, then I guess there's nothing to worry about. But if you were unlucky enough to marry a wild ox who feels the needs to sow his oats around town then it's your responsibility to protect yourself. For your own sake.
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hot-angel (f)
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I don't know what to say to this, but i want to follow up this thread.
Anyways, i think you shouldnt be scared of getting transmitted disease in a marriage because, normally both of you are spose to be doing it with each other and not other people.
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dejiolowe (m)
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frankly, a marriage could be a death trap if u married wrongly. even if the partners are faithful, there could still be carry over from previous relationships
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prettyH (f)
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prettyH, how many men or women can be trusted these days? Do not neglect your responsibility to yourself just because of emotions.
If you know that you can trust your partner absolutely, then I guess there's nothing to worry about. But if you were unlucky enough to marry a wild ox who feels the needs to sow his oats around town then it's your responsibility to protect yourself. For your own sake.
True u do have a point there. |
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gentleaura (m)
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But I don't see no reason why you should go into the sacred thing called Marriage if your are not ready to be faithful, either spouse shouldnt be insecure about themselves. I don't see no point why you would be so paranoid to be thinking ut partner is all around sharing his/her wares. There should be some iota of trust in the relationship. The only thing I could say is look deep before u leap, you don't want to end up regretting what you did. You can't change the definition of marriage just because of the diseases around. your just being plain paranoid about that because marriage is about but not exclusively, procreation, and that can't be acheived with protected sex. Why bother go into it when your being so paranoid on not getting disease... frankly, a marriage could be a death trap if u married wrongly. even if the partners are faithful, there could still be carry over from previous relationships
I bet u go for some test before u venture that thing called marriage, but the new DL wave going around makes marriage be as scary as anything most especially for that poor faithful wife. |
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dejiolowe (m)
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I bet u go for some test before u venture that thing called marriage, but the new DL wave going around makes marriage be as scary as anything most especially for that poor faithful wife.
it takes 6 months after infection for hiv to show in tests, by that time, the marriage has been done. olorun gba wa |
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gentleaura (m)
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it takes 6 months after infection for hiv to show in tests, by that time, the marriage has been done. olorun gba wa
So like u can't wait for 6months for it to come up right?.....You can chill in the name of dating/getting to each to knw each other well. what the hell happened to courting?..like 6 months can't wait for you to pop up the question? Abegi u need to keep that crawling snail in your pants still, wait in time for the 12 months I had say. |
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prettyH (f)
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it takes 6 months after infection for hiv to show in tests, by that time, the marriage has been done. olorun gba wa
You are forgetting that HIV aren't gotten only from sex. So what if the individual was faithful but unfortunately gets the virus? |
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layi (m)
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Personally my body is vitalised by the holy spirit. I don't get sick. I'll take necessary steps however cuzz divinity's got no support for stupidity.
Some may is as funny or archaic so alternatively, i think the safest way is to use condom all through your sex life and artificial insemination for conception.... It sounds funny anyway cozz i doubt if any wife will accept this. it also sounds selfish cuzz what if the husband is the randy one. Anyway more ideas plz.
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dejiolowe (m)
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@layi don't just dig the wrong well...
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layi (m)
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Which is the right well?
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IAH (f)
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Some may is as funny or archaic so alternatively, i think the safest way is to use condom all through your sex life and artificial insemination for conception.... What??? Layi, I must say this is WEIRD!  |
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layi (m)
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Which do you prefer? Act like everyone else and die (like them) or be a wierdo and live?
Do u have a better plan?
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IAH (f)
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Yes.  Abstinence and Trust. |
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truthhurts (f)
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damn right!thanks IAH
i still try to wonder why married couple cheat , i mean its pretty dumb hustling 4 what u can get inside your home outside and @ the cost of your spouse its plain stupidity and selfishness
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omogenikky (f)
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Its so sad that HIV/AIDS is still being transmitted like this in our environment. Everyone hears that AIDS kills and yet spouses are unfaithful to each other? Aren't people afraid at all?
How can randiness take over the senses like that?
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mum (f)
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frankly, a marriage could be a death trap if u married wrongly. even if the partners are faithful, there could still be carry over from previous relationships
You are very right Mr Olowe, i'll say something to you guys now, that i haven't said to anyone before. I just lost my favorite cousin, 33yr old guy, well educated, masters level, on his way to phd. he left behind a 24 yr old wife, final yr student at a uni, and an 8 months old baby. He died of aids. That was not my story, my story is, when she met this girl, he was not +ve, as you know guys now, 1 guy 4 gilrfriends, that's the way it is with them, always playing about town. Anyway, My cousin decided to settle for this girl, and when she was about 8 month pregnant, they had their wedding. A month after, they had their baby. This girl is one of the unluckiest being i have ever met in my whole entire life, ask me why? Thanks My cousin was the 1st and the last guy in her life, in one word he disvirgined her and she's only 24yrs. But the momet my cousin made up his mind about her, he stopped messing about, but it was too late because by then he must have been +ve anyway, and either because he did not know, or he knew but kept it to himself, only God knows, it was also too late to get treatment as it has developed into aids, and he died 10months after his wedding and 8 months after his baby was born. We all feel guilty in my house, mainly because we know that my cousin transmitted the virus to her. TO HER, MARRIAGE HAS BEEN A DEATH TRAP JUST LIKE LADI SAID. Now this is to you guys out there who think faithfulness and trust in marriage is everything, this couple were faithful to each other thruout their short-lived marriage, but what about the life each individual lived before marriage? I think the best way to look at it is the oath taken at the church - 4 BETTER 4 WORSE. I don't know what i'd do if such think happens to me, so don't even ask. But i am asking you guys now, what would you do? Remember the baby is stil there but i don't want to think about it because that's about the sweetest most handsome most beautiful i have seen since my 16yr old nephew. Good luck to you guys, and remembet to take a test before digging, if anyone wants to use ogboju and say oh so you don't trust me? Tell him or her to go to hell, because i don't trust you. PlS USE CONDOMS!!!!!!!!!! AIDS IS ALL OVER Respect! |
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mum (f)
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But I don't see no reason why you should go into the sacred thing called Marriage if your are not ready to be faithful, either spouse shouldnt be insecure about themselves. I don't see no point why you would be so paranoid to be thinking ut partner is all around sharing his/her wares. There should be some iota of trust in the relationship. The only thing I could say is look deep before u leap, you don't want to end up regretting what you did. You can't change the definition of marriage just because of the diseases around. your just being plain paranoid about that because marriage is about but not exclusively, procreation, and that can't be acheived with protected sex. Why bother go into it when your being so paranoid on not getting disease...
I bet u go for some test before u venture that thing called marriage, but the new DL wave going around makes marriage be as scary as anything most especially for that poor faithful wife.
Gengleaura, have you thot about their lifes before marriage? You are only going on about life inside marriage. Unless you want to bear their cross with them. With God and Love anything is possible. I believe so much in love, if guy has aids, we might work thing out. lovemaking with condoms and wash sperm if we need to get pregnant. God help me, but guessed it'll depend on my mood when the time comes. |
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eveseh (f)
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Gengleaura, have you thot about their lifes before marriage? You are only going on about life inside marriage. Unless you want to bear their cross with them. With God and Love anything is possible. I believe so much in love, if guy has aids, we might work thing out. lovemaking with condoms and wash sperm if we need to get pregnant. God help me, but guessed it'll depend on my mood when the time comes.
yea  |
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layi (m)
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Yes. Abstinence and Trust. Will u do his own abstinence for him? Or will trust protect against the virus? |
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