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cabali (m)
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with a huge doubt that y'all will be well
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vizion (m)
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how r u sure uve found d right person if u date more? its not like I'm sayin its d best option or aything! its an advise from a guy whom it worked for. take it or leave it, no be by force.
how are u sure its worked for him? how long has he been married that he is now and expert to give advise on this matter? 
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olanmuis (m)
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I salute your discipline this far, men I loosed my at 18, well no standard ample age for sex, secularly the moment you are well informed about the act, the good and the ugly, then you can hence explore it, but going by religion especially christianity, marriage is profitable bed on defiled, hence you may have to wait till marriage, The decision is yours.
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rezzy (f)
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The right time for you to have sex is when you are married . So my dear keep waiting for the right man
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Reverend (m)
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@Rezzy What has marriage got to do with having sex?. You can get married in many African states at 12 years of age. So according to you a guy can have sex with a child just because he has a piece of paper saying that he is married? Utter nonsense  The right time for sex is when you feel in yourself that the time has come! It has nothing to do with marriage, the Bible or any other ridiculous mumbo jumbo 
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rezzy (f)
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@Rev Mr I.T.K Spare me that bullshit
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Reverend (m)
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@Rezzy
I see once again you have given one of your intelligent answers!
So do you think that it is OK for an old guy to have sex with a 12 year old girl just because they are married?
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mamaput (f)
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In Germany by law 14 but then the boy girl partner is not allowed to be older than 16. meaning if my 12 year old daughter has sex i will have to prove that i was not aware of it, or end up facing charges. I think also that if you are 16 the partner is not allowed to be older than 18 not too sure.And even if you are 18 your teacher will go to jail will face trail for something like that
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cabali (m)
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Maybe I should place time on it! On the average, 2 years after puberty 
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rezzy (f)
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happy new year to all ye
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ell77 (f)
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When you marry! Which if possible is after university, if you have no intention on going to university then after school!
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mamaput (f)
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After school can be 16
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cabali (m)
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tell'er girl!!
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ell77 (f)
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Ah ah, what is she telling me. Yes I know after school can be 16, if you progress fast it may even be sooner. The reason I said after university, or if you don't have any intention for university after school, is because you should achieve all the things you need for employment first. If somthing happens and you don't believe in abortion you can support your child by doing apprenticeship, or something. But if you are illiterate and have no skills life will be harder for you and your child (although some still make it mind you, but just make life easier for yourself). Not all 16 year olds are the same some are more mature than others some have the same sense of maturity but are just not ready, anywayz that is my two cents there is no point saying. 16 you must have it or even 30, to each their own, but I advise you to wait until you are not just emotionally ready but mentally, physically and financially ready (sex is expensive oh!). Anywayz I would say not before 14, is that a good enough answer?
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mamaput (f)
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That means poor people should not have sex, because if they have sex they may have children.
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cabali (m)
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Instead of spending time on all this just go and get laid; age is just a figure 
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ell77 (f)
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That means poor people should not have sex, because if they have sex they may have children.
wow! It is like you just picked one line out of a fully detailed paragraph, don't take my words out of context - anyway contraception is not 100% effective so if you think you are ready to have sex my own opinion (my own oh, I did not say it was right, I am not God afterall), is that you should be ready for all perceivable consequences, not just emotionally ready, not just physically ready, not just mentally ready, but also financially ready - snce pregnancy is one of those possible consequences - anyway out all all the possible consequences of having sex that are 'bad' (not inverted commas) - pregnancy is indeed the best. Anyway you did highlight another possible debate - should poor people be encouraged to have more children - afterall are children not a blessing? Well if you are too poor to look after yourself, will it not be irresponsible for you to not use proper contraception when having sex (and if you can't afford contraception abstain). Afterall in some places like NAIJA WHERE THERE IS NO REAL SOCIAL SECURITY - The best thing you can do for your child is love and provide for them. Lack of money won't stop you loving your children but what of food, water, healthcare and shelter? Hmnn interesting?! Anyway whoever wants to have sex, should have, but if you ask me for an empirical formula all I can say is the wisest thing to do is to wait until after 14 and after you have achieved enough to deal with forseable consequences. Ofcourse there is no correct answer to this question, the are many questions that have no correct answer. But that's just my offering to the debate. Is it ok?
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ell77 (f)
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Oh yes major point I forgot, it is also important to not look for sex for the sake of it but look to share this intimate moment with someone. That means when you meet the right person you will know whether you are ready or not. Don't just go for anyone Gina.
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cabali (m)
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Look just do the sex thang thats all! do not complicate with questions and confirmations 
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angelz
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Wait til u r married. Its d best. Talkin frm xperienc.
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mamaput (f)
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of cause what you say gose in the theory. My middle daughter is 13 going to be 14 next year. But she is still a child. She is very responsible but still a child. Then even a 9 year old can clean her room and do her homework on her own.When you see her you think she is 16. But still a child.
I think added to what you say it depends on the person. Not every 14 year old can cope with it. Am not even sure i will allow her to date with 14 and she knows it.
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ell77 (f)
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of cause what you say gose in the theory. My middle daughter is 13 going to be 14 next year. But she is still a child. She is very responsible but still a child. Then even a 9 year old can clean her room and do her homework on her own.When you see her you think she is 16. But still a child.
I think added to what you say it depends on the person. Not every 14 year old can cope with it. Am not even sure i will allow her to date with 14 and she knows it.
Very True Look just do the sex thang thats all! do not complicate with questions and confirmations  lol. Na you ask question, boy if you wan't to go and have sex go! No one is holding you! 
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cabali (m)
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definitely not. am just sounding to people who may think otherwise
@mamaput, I respect ur guts. U will find out that that kid may not even want to date at 14 because she isnt pressured not to. we tend to want to do what people restrain us from doing. and that will make her get herself ready before the time and not just rush into the sex thing as part of some form of adventure
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ell77 (f)
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definitely not. am just sounding to people who may think otherwise
@mamaput, I respect your guts. U will find out that that kid may not even want to date at 14 because she isnt pressured not to. we tend to want to do what people restrain us from doing. and that will make her get herself ready before the time and not just rush into the sex thing as part of some form of adventure
Hmmn I get what you are saying about restraint making things more enticing. But what is the alternative? By the way - most kids are pressurised/enticed by peers and commercials in their teens to start having boyfriends. For ther to not be interested at 14 is rare. even if in January she is not interested by february she may be. The difference in many cases (though not all) between those who do and don't I believe are those who don't do so because: 1) there is no eligible guy 2) they are afraid of the opposite sex 3) they are aware of the excess wahala it can bring 4) they are fobbidden Assuming points 1 and 2 don't apply. Mamaput can atleast alert her child to the excess problem that may occur (point 3) and then she is the mum it is up to her if she thinks forbidding her will make it worse or not (it did not make it worse for me).
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ell77 (f)
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Anyway sha' that is why they say parenthood is the hardest job in existence. every action has a reaction sometimes not equal or opposite! lol. God help me when I settle down to have kids. I don't know where parents get there wisdom from, or do they learn it from there own parents or maybe it's trial and error. That's why they are always harsher on the first child I guess! lol
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Reverend (m)
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@ell77 It is called good old common sense 
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ell77 (f)
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@ell77 It is called good old common sense  lol! They say 'common sense is very uncommon'!  I tend to confer 
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cabali (m)
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Wisdom is an extension of common sense if i may add
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