Abortion: Would You, Won't You?

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Romance (Moderators: mukina2, iice, StephenP)  |  Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
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Author Topic: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?  (Read 914 views)
luxoire (f)
Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« on: May 29, 2007, 10:38 AM »

You are in a relationship and you get pregnant. It is unwanted and you are not ready for it, you know you can't possibly afford a baby.
LADIES
1. Do you keep it? - out of morality / religion?

2. Do you abort it?, you believe Abortion actually empowers women, and you choose to not have a baby till you are ready. (unfortunately, contraception aint 100% pregnancy proof, so i wont want smart-ass responses telling me u should have used a condom)

3. If you heard a girlfriend of urs had an abortion, woul u look at her differently?, or would u still treat her same?

GENTS
1. Would you allow your babe to commit abortion?, or would you leave it up to her?

2. Would it affect your relationship in any way or at any stage?

3. Also, if you met a girl u liked and started dating her, and then she told you she'd had an abortion in the past. Would it taint your view of her?, or make u think 'less' of her as a person?

PS i ain't expecting a full scale confession from anyone. So you don't have to have gone through it yourself. Just opinions.
miss5272
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #1 on: May 29, 2007, 02:48 PM »

I would not have an abortion,  I don't care how broke I am, and before anyone gets a smart ass comment like yo have to be in the situation, I've been there.  I had nothing but my moreals to keep me going.  Luckily for me, I didn't have an uncaring boyfriend but regardless, I would never opt to have an abortion.  I am for everyone's right and all but just feel that it is unfair for that unborn baby not to have anyone speak up for it.  Plus, why should it be a woman's sole decision to terminate the baby, she didint create it herself.  But if the script was flipped and the guy didnt want the baby, then you would call him deadbeat.  How so?  I'm very passionate about this subject so let's just leave it here.
luxoire (f)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #2 on: May 29, 2007, 03:07 PM »

@miss
i appreciate your passion and viewpoint. But there are people that have been in your situation and unfortunately for them they have had no one there to help and support the through, the partners don't want to know and having the baby would be detrimental to the baby.

then again, i think one's viewpoint would depend on when they thought human life began?
At sterilisation, implantation, or embryo/fetus?

your answer to this might very well determine how u view abortion
miss5272
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #3 on: May 29, 2007, 03:23 PM »

I think once you are aware that you are pregnant is when life begins.  If you do not know, then you cannot make the decision to abort so regardless of when you conceived, you only start to think of options when you found out.  think of it this way, the sex is all good till you get something you don't want right.  Well everyting has a price and children are a joy whether you plan to have them or not.  It is not the child's fault that you couldn't keep your legs closed nor is it the child's fault if you got raped, nor is it the child's fault if the condom broke.  Don't hate me for what I say, it is what it is (my personal opinion).  No one has to agree witht it but I can live with myslef at the end of the day knowing I made the right decision whether it is an inconvenience to my current lifestyle or not.  If you know you run the risk of getting pregnant with sexual intercourse, then the solution is simple.  DO NOT HAVE SEX!!!
Maleeq (m)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #4 on: May 29, 2007, 03:41 PM »

This is a really though question that a lot of people who've never been in the situation would think they have simple answers to. It takes a whole lot more.

Having a baby when both parties are not okay with it, I feel would be unfair to the woman and the baby. A child growing up needs a the love of the parents, both of them. While most ladies would say they can handle the situation themselves with or without the baby's father, they would always be set aback emotionally.(not good for her or the baby)

Love, s3x is good. But a very low percentage of those who engage in these acts are ready to bear the fruit of the act it so happens.

As a guy, if I am mature enough(age wise) and comfortable(able to cater for the baby and the mama, and myself of course), I would keep the pregnancy. Anything outside of this, I would definitely opt for an abortion.

Would It Affect The Relationship?

For me, it surely would affect the relationship. Even if we continue, the thought of the child(unborn) would keep my head buzzing anytime I come close to her, s3xually. I don't think I'll be able to cope after that.
luxoire (f)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #5 on: May 29, 2007, 05:26 PM »

@miss

I was not hating on you, and i do believe you are within your right to express your opinion. and some people might disagree with you, That is the beauty of the human nature, its diversity!

@Maleeq
I appreciate your honesty, and there a few guys out there that feel the same way you do. Whether or not they admit it is another issue.
cute-ass (f)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #6 on: May 30, 2007, 05:01 AM »

@ twin

You don carry come 18, but i love your threads Grin

@ topic

The honest truth?? I don't know what I'll do, its always easy to say one thing and do the other when the situattion arises
But another truth though  . . I'm against abortion, but i can't really say if i would go on with one if the case should have risen when i would have found it practically impossible to raise the kid Undecided

At my age now and stand in life, i'll guess I'll keep the baby, I do have the resources and chances of raising it, don't I?? Undecided

Lets say this is one of those topics i say: when i get to that sea, I'll cross it Wink

Quote from: luxoire on May 29, 2007, 10:38 AM

3. If you heard a girlfriend of urs had an abortion, woul u look at her differently?, or would u still treat her same?


Eeerh, for a minute I'll be shocked and surpried, thats the truth but I wouldn't let her see my reaction ooh. And after that one minute, things will pretty much be normal Wink

I say this from experience, I have a friend that had an abortion before we became friends, when she broke the news, that was my reaction. But after that day,  I haven't thought about it apart from the occassions where i feel sorry for her, because she's one of those that is regretting what she did Cry Cry
luxoire (f)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #7 on: May 30, 2007, 06:31 PM »

@twinsy!!!

Don't mind me and my topics jarre!! Smiley, every so often i actually have a brainwave! Cool

i am feeling your honesty. and it is good of you to not use that to judge someone. because i know people who do, and i think it is disgusting and very hurtful of them to try and impose their ideas on others just because they disagree with someone's actions or reasoning Angry

I am truly sorry  Sad that your friend regrets what she did. Usually people regret it because people feel pushed/cornered at that time and given a different set of circumstances, they'd not do it. But if they had done it for all the right reasons at the time and they felt it was a decision they were in control of 'not circumstances' then they can live with themselves
niceuzor
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #8 on: May 30, 2007, 06:41 PM »

interesting
luxoire (f)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #9 on: May 30, 2007, 06:50 PM »

@niceuzor, interesting meaning you don't have an opinion?

or you have, but are just not going to offer it?,  i am interested in knowing what YOU (as a guy mainly and then as a person) thinks

some guys think UNWANTED PREGNANCY na d babe's wahala, make she deal with am, they either skive, or just watch her suffer and come to a decision, all the time not offering any support or consolation!! MADNESS!!
Sweet T (m)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #10 on: May 30, 2007, 08:16 PM »

@Luxoire
The last time i read your post you were trying to figure out if your boyfriend was cheating, now you dey talk about abortion. wetin be your own sef? legs no fit close?
luxoire (f)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #11 on: May 30, 2007, 08:43 PM »

@Sweet
must everything be related?, so i can't think independent of what is going on in my private life? she u want keep d legs open?

biko, look if u no get anything to contribute, don't come and say nonsense in here
Akinagirl (f)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #12 on: May 30, 2007, 09:02 PM »

i don't think its riight, but alot of people say hell no or hell yes, but honestly i really wouldnt know unless i am in that situation Undecided
haywhy (m)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #13 on: May 30, 2007, 09:04 PM »

 For some one like me who is in the medical profession, abortion seems to be nothing as not less than 5 is done per day!though its therapeutic but abortion is abortion! But I must say that at times considering the religious, moral & physical aspect its bad as we all know!
 The age of the pregnant lady must be put into consideration! Any lady over 21 need not consider abortion!
 In sincerity, I'll look at a lady that has aborted somehow! I don't know how but I'll look at her some how!
 I won't allow my babe to have an abortion!
 It might affect the relationship! That's the truth because the thought that u aren't ready 4 it or its not with the right lady is disturbing! We all agree that saying I'll marry you doesn't mean I'll marry you!
 
adeboo (f)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #14 on: May 30, 2007, 09:11 PM »

It totally depends on the situation she.
I don't ever pray to go through it - i considerd it when i got preggers at 18 but thank God i had the baby and she is so helpful in ma life now that i can't think of life without her.

But God forbid i get preggers now again out of wedlock, then its definately something i would consider seriously.
haywhy (m)
Re: Abortion?: Would You, Won't You?
« #15 on: May 30, 2007, 09:14 PM »

please don't get preggers out of wedlock oooooo!
adeboo (f)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #16 on: May 30, 2007, 09:39 PM »

@hayway - omo i tell you that ma greatest fear in this world sha till date - cause it is damn hard. Now i see why God said wait till you are married
haywhy (m)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #17 on: May 30, 2007, 09:46 PM »

 May God just put us through! If you abort for a guy or somefin he might end up calling you names! And marriage itself, ladies are blind & can't seem to figure out a good husband material! At times life just leave you wondering! Happy to be a reverend anyway! Grin
marlet01 (m)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #18 on: May 30, 2007, 09:48 PM »

Abortion is really risky, I wouldn't advice any girl to get herself into it.
haywhy (m)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #19 on: May 30, 2007, 09:55 PM »

Abortion is not as risky as people think!
Seun (m)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #20 on: May 30, 2007, 10:10 PM »

Quote
A girl having baby at 18yrs is a disgrace and disappointment to her family
I disagree.  A girl having a baby at 18 years is just careless.  The consequences are great, so no additional persecution is required.  Support is what such a girl would need.  If my child is pregnant at 18, that's what she'll get.
niceuzor
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #21 on: May 30, 2007, 10:39 PM »

**imagine that**
dany25
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #22 on: May 30, 2007, 10:45 PM »

haywhy can i send u a mail or better still send me one i need ur help. my email is konohennon@yahoo.com
niceuzor
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #23 on: May 30, 2007, 10:54 PM »

take a look @ what the admin post  Shocked and tell me what u think! Wink
IBDat (m)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #24 on: May 31, 2007, 04:47 AM »

At this point in my life - an abortion will NOT be an option.

Although it is both our choices to make, but i would rather she had the baby and find her way if that is the case.

My view of a lady that (i'm dating) and had an abortion previously will totally depend on her reasons for the abortion and her circumstances at that point - But if she'd had more than one NOT a keeper irrelevant of hers reasons!
fekuti
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #25 on: May 31, 2007, 04:55 AM »

seun that's if your little punk ass has a child, you little post-deleting, narrow-minded, christian-condemning, stank-breath n!gga!
luxoire (f)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #26 on: May 31, 2007, 03:27 PM »

@haywhy
i agree with you, abortion is not as risky as people seem to think.

I can hear some people on their moral high horses, condeming abortin etc, YES IDEALLY you should wait till you get married before engaging in sex ,  how ever we all know the world we live in today is less than ideal, so let us BE REAL

if you are in a situation, where you can't keep the baby for medical, financial, psychological reasons, then abortion becomes an option.

@IBDAT, i appreciate your honesty, and usually that is the case for most people, they can handle you having had one abortion for whatever 'valid' reason, but 2+ and then it seems ur using it to replace contraception
Roadblock
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #27 on: May 31, 2007, 04:35 PM »

I am going to be brief and short  .

When a man releases sperm into a woman . You have millions of baby potential in that release and all swim to the egg at the end of which only one gets to the egg and the others die. When I was released as sperm into my mother and I had to compete with millions other baby potential, I ended up winning to the egg even though I had no special smimming skill than others. The truth is this,  Each baby that made it to the egg today was chosen and that exactly explains the part of the bible that says Even before you were formed in the belly I knew thee. It also means that there is no one that was formed in the belly that was not earlier known by God. So why will I kill/abort or put an end to the existence of a life just because I feel i am not ready. That I will never do. No matter what. Not because it will be convenient for me to handle but because  I am alive today because my mother spared my life despite all odds. What if I was aborted.

Lastly people are born into this world through different circumstances, Yes one might be unprepared, it could be shameful , it could be in a way we can not handle but the truth is this That is the way God had designed it to happen. He brings good out of none. Not preaching though but i think most times the reason why we opt for abortion after doing what we are not supposed to do is just because we beome afraid that people will get to know and also what people, friends and family will say.

What has happened has happened I would rather move on from there than opt for abortion.

Some people have been married for years and they have never been pregnant for once.

I am sorry for not keeping to my words. Not too long is it?
luxoire (f)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #28 on: May 31, 2007, 04:40 PM »

@roadblock

nope, its not exactly short either, but i appreciate your response!

my question to you guys now is this:

WE ALL KNOW RELIGIOUSLY / MORALLY abortion is wrong. CAN YOU FIND ANY OTHER REASON (other than those 2) TO JUSTIFY KEEPING A PREGNANCY, YOU COULDN'T HANDLY OR LIVE WITH?
haywhy (m)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #29 on: May 31, 2007, 08:53 PM »

> Occasionally, wombs do get mistakenly ruptured!

 >
Each pregnancy leaves a scar mark/line on the womb with which after too much abortion has been done the pregnancy avoids previous lines & thus it moves downward causing voluntary abortion!
marlet01 (m)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #30 on: May 31, 2007, 09:52 PM »

@ Haywhy

Tell me something?
haywhy (m)
Re: Abortion: Would You, Won't You?
« #31 on: May 31, 2007, 10:13 PM »

something  Grin
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