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Fiyin007
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Hey guys recently one a guy was in a relationship in which he later learnt that the girl cannot cook.
In fact, she said she hasn't cooked all her life. Please advise on what is best for him.
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Seun (m)
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Since food is your friend's primary goal in life, I will advice him to go and marry a caterer or agriculturist. Nonsense.
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Imani (f)
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Hey guys recently one a guy was in a relationship in which he later learnt that the girl cannot cook. Infact she said she hasn't cooked all her life. please advise on what is best for him
Can your friend also cook? If he can, then let him teach his girlfriend. If he can't, they can both learn. If cooking is very important to you your friend, then find a chef like Seun suggested. Seriously, while a woman should learn to cook no matter how little but then relationship for a woman is much more than being able to cook, clean and engage in sexual gymnastics. A woman is much more than a trophy a man can be proud of. |
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Double N (m)
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Since food is your friend's primary goal in life, I will advice him to go and marry a caterer or agriculturist. Nonsense.
Seun you are missing the point!Part of a woman's duties is cooking for her husband,and every woman should know that the way to a man's heart is through his belly.So hiring a chef/Cook is not the solution because she may end up loosing her husband!Instead she should go to her mother or a catering school to learn.Period  |
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Seun (m)
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Actually, I'm not missing the point. I just don't believe that there's any such thing as "a woman's duty".
A woman's duty is whatever she has promised to do. If cooking is not something she likes, get a professional chef.
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fromuk (m)
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na waa for u seun, if your wife can't cook for you ten what will she do for u? buy u Mr Bigs or mamput. u should have suggested teaching her atleast she will be ale to learn if the love is dia and they still want it to continue.
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Seun (m)
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If your wife can't cook, you're not going to starve. Have you not been feeding yourself before getting married?
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mrmayor (m)
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If your wife can't cook, you're not going to starve. Have you not been feeding yourself before getting married?
Ol'boy you are really funny,  .I'm curious what would your family say when they come visiting and your wife can't cook? My guess is they would get you a new wife asap. |
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Seun (m)
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If my family members are jobless enough to complain about my wife, I will not invite them home. Problem solved.
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mrmayor (m)
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If my family members are jobless enough to complain about my wife, I will not invite them home. Problem solved.
If you don't invite or allow visits from your family members on the account of your wife,I can assure you the nearest Babalawo would hear about it (not that I believe in babalawos) but am sure your would, besides your mother in-law would die of shame when the her friends find out her daughter can't cook. |
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Imani (f)
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na waa for u seun, if your wife can't cook for you ten what will she do for u? buy u Mr Bigs or mamput. u should have suggested teaching her atleast she will be ale to learn if the love is dia and they still want it to continue.
While i am not against women doing stuff such as maintenance of their homes etc, however, if she is not necessarily good at one of them that really shouldn't mean she is useless in the house. Remember in the age we live in, with advance in science and technology, improved standards of living, their are ways to get round the cooking issue. Food preparation takes some time and not everyone has the patience to stand around cooking. We live in a time conscious society. In Nigeria, the average 'proper meal' takes nothing less than 30min to 1hour. Doing that for breakfast, lunch and dinner is tiring everyday and then people complain that a woman's work is never finished. How can it when all she is doing is cooking, cleaning, etc. These are duties that can be outsourced to someone else so the lady can make better use of her time. If the woman is career minded or in certain levels of management, then issues such as cooking become secondary to an extent. Some people, however, are so closed minded and just refuse to move on with the times. For instance, the introduction of the pounded yam powder solved the problem of been able to eat pounded yam for nigerians in the diaspora, but some people still complain it is not as good as the real thing. Now until they see a woman pounding like an animal and sweating like a goat, do they accept that they are going to eat authentic pounded yam. Frankly some women have just decided not to bother themselves with such issues anymore and make their time more productive by engaging in more rewarding activities. I believe most nigerian men are lazy when it comes to cooking. Those who can actually cook still leave it to their wives to do. This is selfish. There is nothing wrong in using your cooking skills to improve your homes. And if you feel you are too important to help your wives then don't complain. |
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Abike2k6 (f)
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If my family members are jobless enough to complain about my wife, I will not invite them home. Problem solved.
If your wife can't cook, you're not going to starve. Have you not been feeding yourself before getting married?
Since food is your friend's primary goal in life, I will advice him to go and marry a caterer or agriculturist. Nonsense.
- hehehehehe! Seun Seun, you took the words right outof my mouth. |
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May_flower (f)
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@Poster What the heck if she hasn't cooked all her life? She can still learn to cook. It doesn't take a life time to learn cooking abi? Or is it that she doesn't want to cook? If thatz the case, then the guy should prioritize between home cooked food and his girlfriend. @ Seun You are the kind of man every woman dreams of. Somebody who treats her like a fellow-being. Kudos! |
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Imani (f)
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If you don't invite or allow visits from your family members on the account of your wife,I can assure you the nearest Babalawo would hear about it (not that I believe in babalawos) but am sure your would, besides your mother in-law would die of shame when the her friends find out her daughter can't cook.
1. What happens if the couple are based abroad out of the prying eyes of nosy family members? 2. These days, all a mother can do is teach her daughters and sons how to cook. If they learn, fine. If they don't, then it is not their mother's problem. Those days of "shame" or embarassment are fading. A mother can no longer be held responsible for the actions of her daughter in her daughters house. Everyone one is ultimately responsible for his/her actions. Besides, there are families where both patners can't cook, however, there is understanding between the couple with regards to this. I am not saying women should not learn how to cook, but i won't condemn those that don't know how to. |
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I-man (m)
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What's worse than a woman who can't cook? A woman who thinks she can cook but cooks nonsense |
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Imani (f)
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What's worse than a woman who can't cook? A woman who thinks she can cook but cooks nonsense Which one be your own?  Can you cook sef |
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minto (m)
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Unfortunately the poster did not tell us in what other areas the lady in question is good. The point is that you can't get a perfect human. If cooking is her only weak point,while she's good in other areas, then try and educate her. It's no big deal going into the kitchen with her if you can cook and show her in a loving manner how to do it.
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I-man (m)
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Which one be your own? Can you cook sef I be Jamie Oliver! One taste of my cooking and you will be hooked Few women can cook like I can |
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mukina2 (f)
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Which one be your own? Can you cook sef the last time he cooked ,he got admitted |
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Rubbermaid (f)
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Two words :"Ready Stew" http://www.getsym.com/prod01_reg.htmPS - Ready stew is delicious, and versatile for all kinds of Naija dishes. It should hold your belle well well and give you food to stimulate your brain , hopefully it will also allow you to focus on more important things like the character traits etc that attracted you to the girl in the first place.
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Imani (f)
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Two words :"Ready Stew" http://www.getsym.com/prod01_reg.htmPS - Ready stew is delicious, and versatile for all kinds of Naija dishes. It should hold your belle well well and give you food to stimulate your brain , hopefully it will also allow you to focus on more important things like the character traits etc that attracted you to the girl in the first place.  Please tell them o. Including the men. The stew is just the base you need. You can add ingredients to your taste. |
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Imani (f)
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I be Jamie Oliver! One taste of my cooking and you will be hooked Few women can cook like I can How come i have only be managing all what you have been cooking out of politeness  assuming i am who you think i am |
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naijaking1
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@all
before we substitute the question with our individual bias and opinions, the poster was not saying he wants to marry anybody---, he simply wanted to know what to do about a lady who can't cook.
Why do we have to read into every small topic?
@poster
It depends on your long term plans.
If you're planing a traditional naija/african family where you, the man intends to the fetcher of water, hewer of wood and 100% bread winner, then you might like to know if your lady is interested in the 100% house keeping part of the equation which includes cooking for the man, the kids, etc.
Note % may be reciprocaly variable with duties and plans. Your lady can always learn.
However if you don't plan a traditional naija family, or you have no long term plan for this lady, then there is no reason to worry.
Just go for the ride, and enjoy each other with Mr. Biggs.
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ghettochyk (f)
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Posted By SeunSince food is your friend's primary goal in life, I will advice him to go and marry a caterer or agriculturist. Nonsense thank you!
@ topic
Do you want the value in Pounds or Dollars, or maybe Naira? bullshyt. it's stuff like this that makes me so embarrassed. And it's people like the thread starter Double N, and I-man that add to it. Double N, who said that part of a woman's duty is to cook for her husband? I hope you strave waiting for a wife to come cook for you. WTF? So a woman's value is dependent on how good her cooking is? Well, if that's not what you mean, then learn to use the English language appropriately and say what you mean. Now if non-Nigerians come here and see this they'll think that Nigerians are full of sexist goats. *rolling eyes* |
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Imani (f)
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@all
before we substitute the question with our individual bias and opinions, the poster was not saying he wants to marry anybody---, he simply wanted to know what to do about a lady who can't cook.
Why do we have to read into every small topic?
@poster
It depends on your long term plans.
If you're planing a traditional naija/african family where you, the man intends to the fetcher of water, hewer of wood and 100% bread winner, then you might like to know if your lady is interested in the 100% house keeping part of the equation which includes cooking for the man, the kids, etc.
Note % may be reciprocaly variable with duties and plans. Your lady can always learn.
However if you don't plan a traditional naija family, or you have no long term plan for this lady, then there is no reason to worry.
Just go for the ride, and enjoy each other with Mr. Biggs.
What will it mean, if he has long term plans and intends to have a traditional setting, but the lady won't/can't learn to cook? Will she still be of any value? What do you suggest? |
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idiot.ogbdcm (m)
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any woman that can't cook got no value and shes not worth being called a woman |
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I-man (m)
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Now if non-Nigerians come here and see this they'll think that Nigerians are full of sexist goats. *rolling eyes*[/b]
Non-Nigerians? You mean those ones with a sky high divorce rate? You mean those ones with record levels of single parenthood? Give me a break . . . .very few non-Nigerians have much to teach us when it comes to stable and long lasting relationships. Women look at vain issues when deciding whether to date a man . . . income,good looks,phallic lenght,e.t.c(last one was a joke) when we simply ask whether they can cook . . we are supposed to be embarrassed?Utter drivel! |
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tenor (m)
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Hmm Our modern day ideals and way of life. May it not cause us situations we cannot handle. I'll still love to taste my wife's cooking anyday. In a situation where she can't cook, i'll patiently see her through her learning process since that's not the focal point of the marriage.
Having said that it doesn't it doesn't kill the value a cooking wife brings to the relationship or marriage. Good sex and good food and you are knocking at the door of a prosperous union.
Even the whites we all think behave differently still place value on home made food. The best romantic dinners are still those candle light dinners with home made food. You can see the pride on their faces.
Women, never miss that feeling, you feel when you see your guy enjoying your food. You can get anything from him in most cases even his DEATH!
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ghettochyk (f)
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Non-Nigerians? You mean those ones with a sky high divorce rate? You mean those ones with record levels of signle parenthood? Give me a break . . . .very few non-Nigerians have much to teach us when it comes to stable and long lasting relationships.
Women look at vain issues when deciding whether to date a man . . . income,good looks,phallic lenght,e.t.c(last one was a joke) when we simply ask whether they can cook . . we are supposed to be embarrassed?Utter drivel!
evidently, i'm not willing to go back and forth with you since i know i'd be hitting a brick wall. i know what i mean and i SAY what i mean. get it? if i say non-Nigerians, that can include those with high or low divorce rates and high/low level divorce rates. Non-Nigerians period. this is not a discussion of how to keep relationships long and stable. and even if it is, it's not dependent on whether a woman can cook or not. If you can read, and i'm sure you can  , you will see that the topic of this thread asks: "what is the value of a woman who can't cook?" IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU NEED TO REPLY TO WHAT I HAVE JUST SAID, KEEP IT TO THE POINT OF WHAT I HAVE JUST SAID. WHERE CAN YOU FIND MY POINT? IN MY POST. NOW, YOU HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE AT IT, BUT IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN DO IT, THEN I GUESS THIS DISCUSSION BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US IS OVER. |
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Imani (f)
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Non-Nigerians? You mean those ones with a sky high divorce rate? You mean those ones with record levels of signle parenthood? Give me a break . . . .very few non-Nigerians have much to teach us when it comes to stable and long lasting relationships.
Women look at vain issues when deciding whether to date a man . . . income,good looks,phallic lenght,e.t.c(last one was a joke) when we simply ask whether they can cook . . we are supposed to be embarrassed?Utter drivel!
Not all women are concerned with such trivial issues. You are right, some place unrealistic value on fickle things like money. However, some consider character, personality, attitudes to life and maturity as more important. There is a great deal of pride in being able to cook for one's family. However, we just have to accept not all women will be able to do so. However, that doesn't make her less a women. As long as it doesn't become an issue in the home and the woman is creative and comes up with other idea to compensate for this "anomaly" there really shouldn't be a problem. But ladies should make sure they let their intended spouses know of their cooking ability especially if they are african men |
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I-man (m)
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evidently, i'm not willing to go back and forth with you since i know i'd be hitting a brick wall. i know what i mean and i SAY what i mean. get it? if i say non-Nigerians, that can include those with high or low divorce rates and high/low level divorce rates. Non-Nigerians period. this is not a discussion of how to keep relationships long and stable. and even if it is, it's not dependent on whether a woman can cook or not. If you can read, and i'm sure you can , you will see that the topic of this thread asks: "what is the value of a woman who can't cook?" IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU NEED TO REPLY TO WHAT I HAVE JUST SAID, [b]KEEP IT TO THE POINT OF WHAT I HAVE JUST SAID. WHERE CAN YOU FIND MY POINT? IN MY POST. NOW, YOU HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE AT IT, BUT IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN DO IT, THEN I GUESS THIS DISCUSSION BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US IS OVER. [/b] Pardon me. . .but you are a bit incoherent |
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