American Woman Married To Nigerian Man: Help!

u got issues

what do u reallly need help for ?? ,  u basically not making sense

Well, I think she's a white lady really. The thing is if she really wanted us to help in the beggin process, we could lead her to our thread, make her talk it in there and believe me, Her husband will certainly get to read from us.

@ thread Author,

Do you still need our help? just tell us what is it you really wanted. But, if you want to know more about Nigerian culture? you got to come down with your baby and spend sometime here with you INLAWS,  who knows, you might end up knowing how to cook, EBA, IYAN, AMALA, GBEGIRI, MIYAN KUKA, OFE EGUSI, BANGA SOUP, TUWO, SEMO, ELUBO, and sometimes know how to eat Nsu, gbegiri and dawa dawa 

I bet you, Nigeria is a great and fun place to be.

Woa!  There are so many things going on in this thread!  I truly don't understand what the difficulty is here, she married a man (no matter the reasons/circumstances - we all marry for so many different "reasons"); she cheated on him; he wasn't happy about it but is trying to do right by not just jumping into a divorce.  As I understood the author, her husband has his papers already, but hasn't 'burned rubber".  No matter where a man is from - he's still a man.  And he deserves to be honoured and respected-especially in his own home.  Just like any other country in this world, there are bad ones and good ones - men and women.  IMHO, if y'all r still married, then stop all the "dating" others, sleep in the same bed, share the same bread, love the child u had together and WORK IT OUT.  Talk it out, what does each of u want.  Sleeping separate and pretending you're both free to date is nonsense.  You both need to take it to the negotiation tables as a team, that is what a husband and wife are.  Forget u married him to "help" him, that is all in the past, talk out where u both r now and cleave together.  You both made a commitment, u need to abide by the commitment u made.

well, when u say you want to report him to immigration, you better think twice, is either you let him come out of the wound you just caused him, he never cheated on you, you deed and owe him lots to it. For the sake of your child, his not going to divorce you,  is natural and sane act too,  so approach him and mend fences with him. Never take him for granted, and never take any human as well, because humans are like time, they change, and if you are not there to help him out on his papers, someone elses would have done same.

I wish you good luck, and want to say, follow your head and not the ass heads on this thread.

@ drkchklit

You say Nigerian men don't make babies all over the place. Good. But most AA men don't either.  I didn't know if you were implying this but I wanted to put it out there.

Are you freakin' kidding me?? According to bureau of labour census, African Americans have a 70% (yes 70!!!) child out of wedlock rate hence the 80% dropout rate in the inner cities. So don't try being politically correct with me. In Nigeria, if you have a child out of wedlock most good families would disown and the child, because you bring shame to the family and yourself in yanki, you see Tisha, Zaquisha or chantelle (or whatever it is they call themselves this days) unmarried with kids at age 12, 14 , 18.  In most Nigerian families, dating is frowned upon until you are ready to get married and that's must be after you're done with college and can find a job. In America, you see kids  start dating before they reach puberty, instead of focusing on there academics, they are going out to hang out in the mall, playing football, basketball and other unnecessary distractions and you wonder why white people slammed us with "the bell curve".

First of all, naija men are very conservative, they wouldn't mind shopping with you, taking care of the kids, selecting drapery but also in our culture divorce is an absolute taboo, and what's worse than that is actually cheating in your relationship. There are several things a naija guy can forgive like insubordination  but it takes Lots of prayers for them to forgive infidelity, in fact, in pre colonial times,  before the introduction of western culture, sex before marriage and outside of marriage was punishable by death.  That's one of the big reasons why i don't think i could ever date an American, some of whom might  have had several other boyfriends (dragged her feet through the mud) before settling with you as prince charming. I don't think i  could reconcile with my wife if she cheated (got her freak on) with me.

Nigerians also know how to keep malice. When they are angry with you they can decide not to talk to you for as long as they feel like ( i once lived with my sister and she pissed me off and i didn' t talk to her for almost 2 months and we still lived in the same house). So right now, what you need is serious prayer (divine intervention), ask God (i mean plead) to help your husband forgive you, ask God to melt his heart so that he can love you again, and also you have to apologize profusely, because most naija would  not go out to sleep with other women, they would  just hold it against you as leverage in an arguement or to gain an upperhand in the relationship. So beg him to forgive you for breaking his heart and that all the "getting your freak on" days are over and work out the relationship with him.

@Leilah
go to the immigration and report him. tell them you no longer live togehter as a family unit. i bet he will be back at your door then
Man, you're very wicked, how could you even think of something like that.