Sex Starved Husband

sex with my wife is such a bore, that is when it happens funny thing is we had lots of it before marriage now its all excuses I'm tired, later, in the morning , at night and on and on. I finally decided to let her be but then don't know how to cope because don't really want to do it outside with someone else with all them HIV and things flying around. Help any one besides how do you ever get your woman to appreciate you? guys I warn don't be in a hurry to say I do because I'm not loving this!!!!!!!

She's your wife, talk to her about it.
Tell her you're tired of her behaviour and finally threaten to go out with another girl if she doesn't change _{but don't do it}.
I can assure you, she will change.

You're not wrong and you are COMPLETELY right in your inital post.

Instead of helping out so she wont be "tired", he's just complaining.

or maybe she finds YOU boring now, ever considered that?

@ Topic
 
It could be that you're crap at it and she wants you to buzz off
try your secretary it might help in your quest.

What if she starts an affair with the houseboy because you're always not at home?

can't understand why someone wont like sex? 

Seun, I've been married for some 9 years now and I can't fault your response. It's the way to go. I hope you don't change when you get married.

@ poster, it's good to know that you don't want to "go out". Learn how to make love to your wife and you won't stop having sex (she won't let you be). If you start making love, you will hear the excuses less and even when they come you will know she's telling the truth. They are truly tired sometimes. When you get closer and do most of the things Seun talked about, you probably will know her better and enjoy her more. Women want to make love more often than they want to have sex. When she is relaxed both of you can also enjoy sex more and explore ways of getting more satisfaction.  Like Seun rightly said, if I am wrong let a woman correct me.

@ Kingperson, you probably won't get a queen soon if that is the only part of the bible you can quote on this matter. This matter is not about the woman being virtuous or not.

@poster said: "I finally decided to let her be but then don't know how to cope , ".

Men, this is hard!

I'll consider some possibilities:

1. She's actually tired, physically. Then Seun's suggestions are in order. However, I strongly doubt that this will change things. Flow with me, if her problem is "too much" work, then why didn't she: (1) try to verbally communicate it with you?; or (2) try to delegate some work to you? This will show that she does not want issues like "work" to interfere with your relationship. Verbal communication (vc) is more powerful than the over-hyped non-verbal communication (nvc), however, nvc can be good additions to vc. Lack of vc leads to problems.

2. She doesn't enjoy it with you, because:
A. She finds it boring and monotonous: try spicing things up with role-playing; sex toys, food sex; adult movies; or if you get liver, introduce an appropriate third-party! Keyword here is "appropriate".
B. She's secretly seeing someone else: start preparing to "abandon ship" if you find evidence of such.
C. She has a deep aversion to sex: find out if she has mental issues, sometimes people with some form of mental problem or those with traumatic sexual experiences when they were very young, harbor a deep, well-concealed dislike for sex (or a voracious desire for it - either of these extremes are bad).
D. Very low sexual drive: explore medication, e.g. testosterone patches like Intrinsa, etc. See your doctor before using any of those stuff.

No matter what you do, try to communicate well with her and make her understand why this problem needs to be solved. It's hard to see why she wouldn't see this as a problem, however, she may not! On the optimistic side, she'll be very willing to be an active partner in solving a real problem - great for you! On the pessimistic side, she may just be fine with the status quo; then you'll have to decide if you want to remain trapped in this "bad marriage" or explore other options.

But, for some reason, I just can't help but think that you saw this coming, before your marriage to her, and just overlooked it. Just can't get that out of my head. However, there is hope and I'll be praying for both of you! 

maybe she don do am tire with another man before you come home 

but on a serious note i think this is not so big and can be talked over without a need to look for alternatives (girls), and if you love her then this is an opportunity to show it to her, she needs you now to understand her, because she might be under stress, do you have kids? like 2-3 kids and she looks after them? that alone can bring a woman down physically

i wish you luck

The sort of relationship you are describing here is not marriage.  It is disgusting, cruel, and worthless.  Do you think good sex is when your wife opens her legs for you like a prostitute just because she thinks you're cheating?  If that is the way your marriage is, then you are better off single.  What kind of silly life is that?

You too much, but if i were u, my eyes would have been outside because

80% of women are holes

wow seun is finally contributing like a human being not an automated machine. lOL.

O'l Boy!

It can be painful o,  chei!!! so Man don finally marry to enjoy sex only for the thing to become be wahala!!

what if you have a heart to heart talk with her and she still adamant? what next?

please, reply

Seduce her goddamn It!

@benben    It is not qauntity but qaulity.     Have you taken her to cloud nine lately?  lol

                   Maybe, your performanc is too low Recently.