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disturbed (m)
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I really need your advice please. . .
I've been dating a girl for over a year now. She's in school in Osun state and I'm based in Lagos. It was good when we started because the feelin was still hot then.
The problem is that we are far apart from each other. We do not see eachother for long spells of time. sometimes we mite see like just once in 4 months. So the only way we communicate is on phone. .
As a guy, I'm not comfortable with the distance because it is really killin me. Apart from that, I also spend a fortune on phone calls because I make 70% of the calls. . .
Please what should I do. . I can't continue like this. .
1.Shld I break up with her?
2. If yes, can I do it on phone or i need to break it off face to face?. . because she mite not be back in lagos till after 4 or 5 months.
Please advice. . .
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k0be
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1)you shouldn't break up with her, but if you can't handle it then you must. sucks 4 you.
2)Be a man, tell it to her face. She'll not understand how serious it is if you say it over the phone.
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segun111 (m)
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For starter you haven't told us the truth behind your breaking up with this girl. Please don't tell me that money you paid on constant phone calls or its killing you to wait for her because of the distance. I believe you are interested in someone else so you are looking for a way out. Buddy, I have been there and done that.
Okay here is my advice, just tell her the truth why you want to break up with her. If in fact it was because of the money that you spend on phone calls[which I don't believe it is] then tell her that you need to stop calling more frequently, tell her that you might want to call every other day instead of daily and see how she reacts. Anyway, good luck. The truth always set you free,
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iice (f)
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You can't continue like that and you are asking us if you should break up with her?   Reading through your post i get the lust love has gone cold vibe. And no breaking up over the phonejust tell her that to her face.
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sanrima (f)
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i can,t really believe that ur reasons 4 breaking up with her are sincere ones, but since u were man enough to ask her out face 2 face, why don,t u pick up that same courage and tell her it,s over. and please do be careful on how u do this. cheerio!
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folanusi (m)
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f u really care about her, then distance should not determine in wich direction your relationship should go, because love is expected to sacrifice. there are a couple of reasons why people feel insecure about distanty relationships.] 1 - could be that u don't trust her, and u think that she is probably getting some u knw what  . in any case, if u feel this way, it either because u don't love her enough to trust her, or u aint upright yourself. 2 - it could be that u miss the gereat sex that u have while she's around. 3 - could be ny other thing. whatever the case, if u don't feel her anymore, then u need to break up with her (as i like to say) like a gentle man. it has to be face to face. at least give her that respect. |
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disturbed (m)
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i understand what u are all sayin. . .
but distance is a very big issue in a relationship. we don't see at all for close to 5 months!!! how can i handle that??
no matter how hard i try to fuel the relationship, not seeing her dampens my spirit,.
yes i wont lie, the feelin is going coldto nobody's fault.
she would be in school for the next 3 years!! so the issue wold get resloved tilll after she's through with school.
shld I wait till then?
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iice (f)
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Best be moving onyou are barely keeping it togetherLOL are you willing to wait till she finishes school?
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disturbed (m)
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thats my point iice. . . .don't think i can keep doin this till she's true.
but my question now is. since i wont see her for another 5 months, can i break up with her over the phone? so i can get on with my life,
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iice (f)
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Breaking up over the phone is not really a good movemost women will lump you in the 'Jerk' categoryif it doesn't bother you then i guess you gotta do what you gotta do. But if you are bothered by that, you either find some way to see her pronto or chin it till 5 months when you can do it in person
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karl ken (m)
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@poster.How old ar u now?What is the distance from Oshun to Lagos?What kind of school is she in?No holidays,strikes,breaks or even weekends?what do u do tha u can't spare few hours 4 a loved one?Have u ever visited her in school before?.Be honest even 4 once,what is ur problem with this r/ship? |
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justkunmi (m)
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@iice
so u want the young man to put his life on hold for the next 5months till she comes around?
bro, if u really have to do it, do it faasssttttttt
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stephanay (f)
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@ justkunmi its not ur fault. if uve got any atom of feeling, u shld know that breaking up over d phone isnt decent  |
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iice (f)
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@Justkunmido read my post againmight make sense a second time
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Siena (m)
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Hmm, I haven't trawled through all the responses you've had so far. But personally, I'D try to make it work. Did you 2 actually discuss the distance aspect, when you first got together? If yes, what has changed since then? I can understand calling on a regular basis can be very expensive, why not try emailing more, and reserving phone calls for the odd special occassions? You'D actually appreciate each other more that way. Or, even computer calls, all you need apart from an internet connection is Windows Live Messenger, a microphone and speakers.
But, if you do decide you want to call it quits, at least make the trip, and do it to her face. It sucks being dumped by phone, email and worse text messages. She at least deserves the direct approach, any other way would be way too impersonal / formal. Good luck!
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uchetobi (f)
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seconding Segun here. I don’t think you have told us the truth but if you really want to break up with her. Do it on a face to face basis. Not on the phone. That sucks
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ebos (m)
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If you are ready to give ur life to Christ, please do it immediately. In fact, I prefer phone because it will be faster. At times, I wonder what is the gain of all these. Think of ur life 2morrow if death strikes now. Quit everything that is ungodly in that affair, and then keep her as a friend. Please, don't tell me this is not a bible issue or whatever. There are some advise that will affect ur life negatively, and they may seem good to you. But at times we need to get the point clear.
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Mandora (f)
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don't d a coward, it wont be fair 4 you to do that by phone
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kilasos (f)
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are u breaking up with her because of the distance or is there another reason?have u ever thought of people that made it work even though they are five thousand miles apart?
mmm well do what you have to do.but i still think the distance can be shuttled every weekend if you want, or do you have another girl?
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kinzolic (m)
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U r very funny o hw can u decide 2 break up with ur babe jst because of distance haba u be wicked person wht if u were in her shoes,y can't u jst explain things or is there sumtin else u r nt explaining to us.
Maybe u av eyes 4 another babe abeg no break d poor girl's heart jst because of ur insecurity.
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2dye4 (m)
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@poster: did u ask her out on a phone conversation? be man and do wht u gotta do in her face. |
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Kashif (m)
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@post, How old are you? sorry, are you financially independent. I am just saying from deductions. Your complaint of call bills is understandable if you don't have a steady 'good' income. She has 3 more years to do in school. Are you out of school yourself? If as you said, the love has gone cold (for some reasons best known to you), then make up your mind on what to do. If you have found someone else who meets your proximity requirement, then it is your life. I think I 4got something. . . . . . . . . . .don't break up on the phone.  |
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busygal (f)
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SHOW AN EXAMPLE OF A 'REAL MAN'
with a good sense of responsibility,decency, maturity
and above all, HIGH I.Q' by waiting up for her to
explain why u ve to break up.
don't leave until u make her see reasons, understand and
accept without holding any grudges.
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Siena (m)
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are u breaking up with her because of the distance or is there another reason?have u ever thought of people that made it work even though they are five thousand miles apart?
mmm well do what you have to do.but i still think the distance can be shuttled every weekend if you want, or do you have another girl?
I think you're bang on the beam there!  |
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camden
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how many of you that are blaming him for not bein able to cope with the long distance relationship have actually been trough it urselves, from what i see, u need someone u can hang out wit, watch movies together, and all that, and the distance is not makin all that happen abi ?, , |
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Caradona (f)
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@ TOPIC Don't break up with her over the phone because you still need a break up sex, thats the new craze.  |
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kilasos (f)
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@camden
i have been involved in a long distance relationship,it didnt work out because we wanted diff things in life and not because of the distance
agreeed u would like them to be with u 24/7 or whenever u want.but as they say distance makes the heart fonder.
there is sth this guy is not telling us,when u re ready to spill it we will continue.
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denex
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Guy just write her a good break-up poem and send it via email. That's save you the stress, time and energy.
I once broke up with a chick without even telling her anything. It was distance too. All I did was widened the distance some more and then gradually reduced the amount of phone calls till it got to zero.
Goodluck.
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Seun (m)
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Assholes teaching each other how to be better assholes. How disgusting. Why must you spread your vice to others?
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denex
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@Seun
i don't know how to lie. Most people doling out advice here are trying to create ideal situations that even they would not want to find themselves.
By the way, have I told you guys that I once bought a chick a break-up gift on the day I was meant to break up with her?
Ehen, Seun! Tone down your temper O! Because no body dey vex pass me.
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ToToChoper
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Bros, I’ve been in your shoes before and yes it’s hard.
I’ve even witnessed prosperous marriages break up due to this issue of distance, but dawg only you know how much this lady means to you and if she’s worth the wait…, please don’t listen to anybody else, FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
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