Raising Children: Abroad Or Overseas

i have a friend who sent her baby home so that she could go to nursing school. first granny of her oga came but was always sicky. so she went back home as medical bills too costly for them, today this, tmr that.

shortly after baby was 9months and a friend helped them to take the baby home. she buys baby food and shipped them home, ummm. not too long she took in (to my surprise oh  )

the last i saw she brought the first one back. then i heard she went home with both kids with plans to leave them behind. oga sold his huge car, bought a small used car and another one that was shipped home to be used for the kids. i visit another friend (we all friends) for a wedding. my friend wasn't there hubby told me she traveled home with the kids and will leave them there. don't know whatsup so far but interesting.

a friend of my neighbor is planning to go home and leave the kids (age about 4 and 2) behind to learn mother tongue they say. they will bring them back after or in 2 years time. she was saying she is looking forward to that so that she can have time to work.

for me, i don't know ooo. when the time comes, we will see   but it will be really tough. i think where you are will be good place to raise your kids.

I was born  in Nigeria. I came to America when I was 15. Now married with 3 children, my husband and I were thinking about sending the girls to Nigeria for High School. I mean we will all be living in Nigeria. I will never send any of my kids to Nigeria without me being there.

If you have responsible relatives to entrust them, the best option I recommend is high school/secondary school education in Nigeria. The kids at that age are old enough to appreciate their heritage and there are good private schools in Nigeria that they can get quality education.

I don't know for others sha, but my parents took me down to Nigeria to do my primary and secondary, and travel up here during most vaccs. though it wasnt fun in the beginning, i couldnt be more grateful today for that well-thought decision of theirs.

My younger sister is at the momemnt attending secondary down there, it hurts so much that she misses us and we miss her so badly too , but i believe some years from today, she'll be looking back and smiling

I have lotsa cousins up here who have only been to Nigeria once or twice for christmas celebration, and believe me sometimes i wish i had the power to ship them down myself Such little and grown-up brats (not all of them sha), but its no brainer that european upbringing to some extent lack child discipline . .

I AGREE!  I SAY MAKE THEM ROTTEN FOR HERE! SHIT-ZU!
See the ones that were raised there talking here---no single atom of manners in their dilapidated brains!   After learning "A" is for agogo and "B" is for blown- blow-----------"J" is for Jaga jaga!   Rubbish! I say I dash una!  Why did you all not stay there?  Nonsense!

I think idiots are slowly but surely losing the purpose of this thread.  Warn yourselves o.

It is not an issue of your ability to raise your child, it is a matter of what you value most as a parent. OR what you feel is right for your children.

I was born and raised in naija full time. I'm glad that I grew up there and had the opportunity to learn naija ways and customs. But I definitely plan on raising my kids where I live because one of the greatest things about having kids is being able to watch and nurture them. That kids in the West seem bad has to do a lot with the parents' style of raising their kids. Even if I'D lived where I live now as a kid, I would definitely have been as focused as I'm today. I can't and I won't have anybody raise my kids for me, somebody (I guess Mamaput) asked, "why have kids if u can't raise them?" Please give me a break, how many kids do make a constructive living for themselves back home in naija? How many kids actually write WAEC without external help? Most kids who have parents living abroad tend to act spoiled because they got that false aura about them that their parents are "rich," so they mostly act snubbish and stupid. If naija was that super to raise kids, why do kids/adults engage in deadly cultism in colleges and universities? I don't believe that where u live or grow up makes u, but your choices make u the man or woman u turn out to be.

Send them back to naija to for secondary school. That experience is not worth missing.
Let them go to boarding schools were they learn to be resourceful, creative and independent not spoilt brats spending 30yrs playing watching TV, driving around in a drunken stupor and thinking Xbox is the best thing since sliced bread. They can visit every summer just to do small shakara to their jealous friends. 

I'm not surprised that the allegedly oldest person on this thread is being her usual garullous and disgraceful self. 

I'm not surprised either david. It's quite pitiful really

anyway in reponse to mamaput, it has nothing to do with "not being able to care for your child"

do you know how much it is to send children to a GOOD private school in Nigeria? not to mention upkeep and such? Obviously these parents are busy working HARD aboard and sending money back to Nigeria for their children's welfare. I personally loved being around my grandparents, aunts and uncles.

I don't envy any Nigerian going to "secondary" school in The States. yuck.

I had the privilege of going to a private school back in naija. What scares u about American high schools is exactly what u get back home. My friends and I started sneaking out of the dormitory at the age of 16 to go get drunk, some picked up the habit of smoking, including weed. Fortunately for me, I later made a choice not to engage even in drinking alcohol (and fortunately, I never smoked either). We went to hotels and did whatever we wanted and acted stupid, it wasn't just my school thing, but a general norm. So tell me, how is this different from what happens in the US? I had classmates who had knives and hatchets in the dormitory, the only thing I definitely knew that nobody had was a gun.
To me, upbringing is a choice, and the choices we make as human beings are not necessarily based on where u are brought up but on the QUALITY of upbringing u get as a human being. I had the choice of smoking, drinking, and doing whatever but I decided to choose a path that I thought was best for me.
Ok, talking about the quality of education people get back in naija, have most of u taken a critical look at the quality of grammar most people write on here? I've read some people's post here that claim to be post-grad students and I just shook my head. Also, talking about respect, most people here who claim to be raised in naija and are well cultured are the ones who insult people the most on this forum; tell me, where is the damn respect y'all are screaming about? I truly appreciate all I got from naija, the memories, education, etc, but I would be a failure if I failed to raise my kids in my own terms rather than having somebody raise them for me! In most cases, kids turn out bad not because they were raised in the US, UK, or any other western country, but the sheer failure of the parents to draw the line when they need to. Let us all stop hiding under the guise that the west is bad for raising kids, but rather look more into ourselves as parents (for those who are already parents and those who hope to be someday), what we do or don't do.

I am not trying to be funny, but an average Nigerian Secondary school kid is twice as smart as the brats in Ameican High scools.
Problem is the kids will be treated like ''eggs'' when they go to Nigeria,  THEY SPEAK WITH A FOREIGN ACCENT!

I can see that all the nigeria school you went to did not work for you.
Good manners come from Home and not from the school.

Well i have almost finished with my kids.  they do not smoke or drink or have bad  manners.
What  can i say am blessed.

Thankyou.
I had kids because i wanted them.
I love them and i love to be around them.
I Love to hear what they have to tell me, about their days activities.I did not have them because its in the norm to get married and have them.
I may as well lock them up in the keller and bring them out when they are 18.
A spoilt prat/ brat remains on no matter were you put him.
Kids belong to mother and  father . Not to grand mother, brother sister or what ever.
It is important that i see the development of my kids not just follow them up over the phone.

na wa for some "adults" sha, when they open their mouths you wonder what their children are really like behind all the facade.
Thank God or America.

@ MILITIA

lol