Do You Think I'm Thiefing From My Husband If:

What was your marriage like before he travelled

back to Nigeria?

Thank you for your question mellow.

I try to answer to you , but of course this is just my opinion, remember it.

Our family life is normal (who can say what's normal?),
we both working hard and free times we rather spent at home.
I like reading and he likes watching "Nollywood" movies and
chatting with friends in skype.

We're adults with life experience, drama free and down to earth,
so we don't have to waste time argue a lot, just like
who give food to cat 

Our values are similar and our economical situation is stability.
We don't use alcohol or other stimulants.

He's plan was spend home around 2 weeks and come back before June,
when I've my leg operation in hospital.
After operation I'm like feet less few days and he told he like to be here
helping me.

That was situation before he travel, so you can understand this is very absurd situation in my life.

Best regards
Thama

how is it even possible that in 2007 one can't reach or contact a spouse via e-mail, phone etc? 
you havent heard from him since may 18th? you have got to be kidding me! 
even though nigeria is third world we arent cut off from the world. seems to me like he doesnt want to take your calls or respond to your emails. and oh , don't expect the nigerain embassy to fish him out for you or take a message for you. they are so disorganized its hilarious. my guess is the marriage wasnt good even when he was around? how well did you know him?
i wont allow a husband who treats me this way to surface when he is good and ready to split the proceeds from the apartment my grandma left us.

i have an idea. tell him that you have sold the apartment and his half of the money is ready. i swear to you on tomorrow's rising sun that the fellow will contact you from where ever he is shacked up. 

something bad happened to him and none of his relatives can contact her to tell her? maybe she's the 'oyibo" wife no one in naija knows he has! (no pun intended)

Hello Thelma,

Maybe your husband is pretending all through your marriage. Do you have plans for having children, do you have some medium to long term plans together. What about his properties, personal and real in Finland. has he removed majority of them etc

Women usually have a good instinct about whether a man loves them or just pretending.

1.Are you really sure he loves you and want to spend the rest of his life with you?
2. Did he has resident papers before you get married?

If the answers to the above questions are YES or even if the first one is YES then the next questions are

3. Did you know any of his family and have any of their numbers?

4. Do you speak with any of his family during your courtship and marriage before he left for Nigeria.

5. Have you tried to contact any of his friends in Finland and Nigeria?

My instinct on thinking about it is that something terrible may have happen to him and or there is a  big conspiracy by his friends and family, i think the latter propably. He may have been given another 'wife' somewhere but then he needs to divorce you before he can legally marries another wife, if that is what he is planning.

As for the property, by law you will have to share it with him because it was willed to both of you even if he is leaving you or intends to marry another wife.

You may be 'stealing' if he contact you and divorce you and you keep quite about the property. But then if he has cowardedly cheat you, I can't advise you to do the same, maybe you may be forgiven by God if you refuse to disclose the property to him.

Time is an important factor, if you wait and keep the property and after some years he never showed up again, then I think after 7 years( i don't know the laws in Finland) he will be presumed dead and you can keep the property solely or you sell it. The other way is to sell it and keep his half share for 7 years and then bingo you have it if he does not show up.

May the good Lord grant you wisdom and good counselling on how to deal with the matter.

N.B. We haven't hear from you for sometimes, have you see him, hear from him or you are just keeping quite. Congratulations if you have managed to get hold of him, may God be wwith you in your marriage.