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chichimma (f)
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Life at 30 can be sweet when your still single as well as a sour. It all depends all yourself what you want in a relationship and whether you are willing to settle for less or for good things. Two of my sisters are above thirty years and they are ok ofcourse they get pressure from our environment, especially my mom wants to have grandchildren. I don't blame her all moms do want that. As for my sisters they should not settle for less and end up in a complicating situation like divorce just for the sake of the status being married. They are both career women, quite doing well. I do think that they are thinking of marriage and kids but just haven't found the 'right' man that will be supportive with their careers among others. As night- Angel said it is not a Nigerian thing but all over the world. However, I think Africans in general put a lot of emphasizes on this matter, especially North Africans, I think the girls have it worse than Nigerians. I say this because I know many that are not married and are in their mid twenties and are going to hell of a time by their environment and seen like they are rebellious towards their culture and so on. Peer and environment pressure will remain don't let that put you down. My advice to the 30 year single women is to excell in life and enjoy life to the fullest because there are many women that couldn't reach this age. Don't be too demanding in a man but don't settle for less either  . |
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yogun (f)
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She had this best friend, who got married a short while back. After the wedding, my cousin started calling up her friend in a bid to gist with her, like they used to do. Guess what? The married friend suddenly turned cold. She was always either too busy, or just driving or simply in the midst of something & couldn't talk. The girl kept calling her & she wouldn't pick her phone or return her calls. One day, she was overheard telling my cousin's colleague, that she wished to be left alone, as she was no longer in the same class or category with my cousin, because she was now married. Imagine!!
Another married lady I know, went to the extent of ridiculing her single friend by always telling the girl; "Go and Marry," as if she brought a husband to the girl for marriage, or as if she heard that 20 men were knocking on the lady's door with marriage proposals, and she turned them down.
Honestly, a number of married women can be really insensitive to their single friends. Some feel they are now Mrs. Somebody, and so they relate to those single friends as if they are Mrs, Nobody, simply because those ones do not have a wedding band on their third finger.
same thing happened to me. there was this friend of mine that stay even in ma neighbourhood, we were so close we share d same group od friends attend d same church and visit each others home & all that. She got married and all that changed, she developed a funny attitude of driving pass without saying hello. even though I'm a yr older than her butI see d attitude as uncalled for. being married doesnt signify superiority in any form and doesnt mean that ur friends wont find themselves in a better position dan U rat the moment. I think it's rather stupid for friends to start giving attitude to their once close friend after marriage |
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tglaz (m)
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Is it really marriage that counts or getting married to the right partner.
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ThisDumebi
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Marriage?Why should anybody lose their sleep about that rite of passage?If our courts still entertain divorce cases, it means that some people got it wrong when they chose their partner! For those who are unmarried like i am,think nothing of that.Just live a life that makes u happy!!
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soulpatrol (f)
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easier said than done. i tire o. if there wasn't so much pressure around, i prolly wouldn't give 2, but the parents, family, friends, even those not related to you, just drive you up the wall.  |
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egoldman (m)
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What about men who are not married at 30 ? abi una no care for us ?  |
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soulpatrol (f)
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ha ha good one. if i may say, men don't have any ticking biological clocks like women do. you don't have ovaries that have shelf lifes do you? even when you're 80, you can still manage to bag a woman. so sorry, i don't feel y'all are under as much pressure as we are. |
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egoldman (m)
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Nawaoooh  |
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spoilt (f)
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easier said than done. i tire o. if there wasn't so much pressure around, i prolly wouldn't give 2, but the parents, family, friends, even those not related to you, just drive you up the wall. ignore them. before i got married no one dared bring up the marriage proverb with me. i would have pulverized that person. and i wasnt even that old sef. they were just being nosy. why do people think once you cross the 22 year old line , you are spent?  |
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davidylan (m)
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although its good to be married, but it has to b done in frndship.to me, marriage is another name for frndship and not hardship. iam 30 but not in a rush nor despirate, BUT i av to be married. am taking it nice and slow.
keep consoling yourself. |
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omindav (m)
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well, it is not funny 2 b an unmarried lady at 30 especially in Nigeria.some folks decide to feast on u as breakfast,lunch and dinner.i know some ladies looked down on some very promising guys that came along in their 20s.anyhow,we r focusing on d present.my advice is:b d best at whatever yr hand finds 2 do:work,education,biz and SO on.don't give up,move closer 2 God and try 2 prioritize as regards what u want in a guy.
enjoy yr single state because a miracle is on yr way,amen
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moondust (m)
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it's a pretty desperate period in a woman's life,
being 30 and not married could drive a woman to extremes,
in that she then tends to want to please anything in trousers that comes her way,
with the hopes of striking a cord. So all fine ladies on this forum, who are still far
from 30 please play ur cards right and stop looking for that imaginary armour cladded
prince charming , just so age doesnt encroach on y'all
nuff said
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soulpatrol (f)
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in short, you mean when a woman is in her twienties, hold on to any man she gets, even if he's a jerk? when did it become ok to settle for less in the name of "getting married"? i tire for una. no wonder there are so many unhappy marriages out there. |
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spoilt (f)
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it's a pretty desperate period in a woman's life,
being 30 and not married could drive a woman to extremes,
in that she then tends to want to please anything in trousers that comes her way,
with the hopes of striking a cord. So all fine ladies on this forum, who are still far
from 30 please play your cards right and stop looking for that imaginary armour cladded
prince charming , just so age doesnt encroach on y'all
nuff said
being 30 single and female is not such a calamity. what is wrong with all these guys? why do they shove this marriage thing down your throat as if that's a woman's key to happiness? i don't get it! |
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soulpatrol (f)
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i don't know o.
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changeman (f)
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Don't be deceived, It's never a Nigerian Mentality alone as you supposed. You need to be around people of that age from every walk of life and you will be surprise how small people think all over the world. I think it shouldn't be a thing of shame or pity to be searching at 30, because life has prove over and again that it's not how fast but how well. Yes, it's wonderful to find the love and happiness early in life as long as you are mentally, emotionally ready etc. It doesn't happen all the time. Just know that it will happen for you at the right time and enjoy where you are while it last, you might miss it someday. This thing is turn by turn and i wish you love and happiness when your turns comes; At 30 or whatever.
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soulpatrol (f)
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@changeman. thanks for your philosophy o. true, simple and straight to the point. everyone's destiny as per love/marriage/family can never be the same. better to just wait for when God says its your turn. if there's anything i've learned in this cruel life, it is that everyone will have his/her time to shine, but just at different times. so be happy for others, and before you know it, yours will come to you. don't beat your head on the wall if something good doesn't happen to you at the time you expect/want it to. God is wise and is making you wait for a reason. cheers.  |
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all_smiles (m)
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reasons why most nigerians are still unmarried at 30 (those living in Naija) is purely economic. The average young man doesnt want to get married untl he feels cormfortable enough, the averge yououng lady is not far from this train of thot, (that is the Guy she is going to marry must be settled in), if she is not bothered about his status the Parents are thinking, my child must not bring home anything, friends are thinking and asking, Is that what u want to settle into?, the list is endless.
Sometimes, all this gets the ladies pitching tent and before u know it, BLAM! 30 is knocking at ur door.
So what i will suggest is this. U av only one life to live, as such make yourself Happy First, for if u are not happy with yourself, u can't be happy with the world.
And if being single at is what makes u happy, please don't compromise,
but plan for ur old age because the human nature thrives on companionship
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dumi (f)
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the people at that age will tell better.but actually it is not easy
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minniepoe (f)
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i really can't say what life at 30 is to the unmarried girls. But i only have one thing to say. Gods time is the best. Your time shall surely come. when God created Adam, He did not create a woman immediately after then but He created a woman when he felt the time was right.
Seek Gods face and your missing ribcage will find you. yes there will be pressure here and there but don't yield to it because this might lead to making the wrong choice
Marriage is a good thing only when you are you married to your soul mate,
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soulpatrol (f)
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yeah if only the people putting pressure would understand that. there are some useless parents out there that just care about their daughters getting married on time without regarding financial stability, emotional readiness, the personality of the guy, and all that comes with that type of committment. some parents just want to be able to brag that yes o, my daughter is married, and i have grandchildren blah blah blah. |
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danjay (m)
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well issue of getin marry is not what sumbdy will rush into cus is sumtin about love and bin 2geda 4 life,so weda u re 30,50,or 100 jst wait 4 d rite time n rite person, so dnt rush
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bebe2007 (m)
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Am content not being married at my age, infact i don't even feel any pressure. Why? must everyone be married? am not saying i don't want to get married, am saying till i find the right one , till i get the conviction. You will and should only marry when you find the right person. If he is not coming my way yet, am not going to go in search for him. Where do i go looking? he could be anywhere in the world. Ladies, its not your fault he has not found you and guys its not your fault you have not found her. It will all happen in HIS very chosen time and place. Do not frett for he is your LORD he made you specially, you are unique, your time is not Jane's time neither is it Peter's ok. Take this time and work on yourself, your career etc in preparation for him/her. Who knows as you get better your stake might even increase. God will give you a better offer since you are improved |
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uchetobi (f)
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Actually I can imagine. Am the only daughter of my parents am 21 now but I know if am un married at 30 my mum will have hypertension. Iv been dating for 3 years plus now. Hope I wont wear hose shoe. And for those in it. Don’t do anything hasty, don’t put pressure on yourself the ones others will put on you is enough without you adding to it, be calm, be prayerful and watchful. It’l be fine
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katchy (f)
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Marriage is a good thing and he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing, but some people are not cut out for marriage and marrige should not be done becuse u are now 25plus, Marriage to me is livivng for the rest of my life with a man that truely loves and respects me, my soul mate, my life. And only the almighty GOD that gives this gift, no amont of living with a man, searching for men who want to get married or forcing ur elf to fall in love with a man just because he came to marry can give u this happiness. I want to be in a marriage were by if there is no food to eat , the fact that the man that honours me for the rest of his life is beside me, i will only smile from the depth of my heart.
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spoilt (f)
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you guys are very funny!! the question should be, why is that a girl of 30 + is not yet married? is it that no men in town or they are not through with life yet for them to get married?
i know a girl who men crawl around her and asking for her hand in marriage she refused them and do you know why? she said she is not through enjoying life yet for her to settle down. ok! keep on rocking!!!
After she might have sold the good part of her honey pot to every body who cares to eat out of it and her age start climbing, she start looking for husband desperately to give the left over of her honey pot to. for some ladies i know, they are very choosy, they want a perfect man. just like a question posted here some time ago about, would you as a graduate marry a school cert holder? i see how some guys and ladies answer the question i just laugh. you want to marry a man /woman that you can be proud of a perfect man /woman right!! good but the perfection you seek is not what you think. are you perfect? you are marring a man /woman that you love that you will spend the rest of you life with, that you will grow old with. she / he is not a certificate for God sake!!! haba!!!!!!!! i have never seeing a man / woman marrying a certificate!! we all want to marry a societal man /woman who can express her self in public when true love is not there. who give a damn who you marry? as long as you both are happy with each other. just yesterday some one want to cheat on the husband because he pick quarrel on a slightest provocation even beat her up and she is finding solace in another's man's arm. what a life!!! i believe they are both graduate to the core!!! what a sham when a man /woman is married, he /she should not be looking for good man /woman, perfect man /woman stunts. just be the loving man /woman you should be as ordained by God to be and leave the rest to God.
people sef, na wa for una!!!! @amaikama why do people always assume that girls over 30 who arent married had a wayward lifestyle? that is so far from the truth these days. |
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Aladunni (f)
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bail me out o @spoilt.
well our friend, its not always because they avnt enjoyed life enough or something. It may be for some reasons they themselves may not be able to explain. All ave got to say is develop yourself the more and make the best use of this beautiful age of 30+, there is no day i wake up without feeling fulfilled in everyway, ave always thot its a consolation, but these days i believe its not. For all singles over 30, don't even look it my dear. then u will see wonders, what is ur work? be the bomb there, ur spiritual walk, be faithful to it, even in a date don't be desperate at all. i say soon u will see wonders. Single and u feel frustrated? How many seminars have u attended to improve yourself, ave u considered another degree or a professional exam to add to what u ave? ponder on these things, it may help. My mum was the bug, now i got a job elsewhere all we do is call. quid pro que. Married friends, there r some i barred their numbers from my phone completely. Check this out, i think there is a difference in this two greetings
A: Aladunni hw r u? Hwz work? Mum, dad, ur siblings and all those that love, still smiling as always? do people still love u the way i always fall for u? I really miss, be ur best in all things and we will always pray with u. huzzy and baby r here saying hi.
B: Aha aladunni, hw nw? long time? Av u heard that ronke married last week, that unserious girl? infact i called sis jane last week and i was surprised shez put to bed for her second baby, even lagbaja also wedded last year, and lakasegbe is very heavy now, endlessly.
what do u feel, i think am justified for any action taken.
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BABEELOVE (f)
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Quote from egoldman
India
Posts: 864
Online
Re: Life At 30 When You're Not Married
« #69 on: May 26, 2007, 07:56 AM »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What about men who are not married at 30 ? abi una no care for us ? Big bros! Wetin dey happen? You nefa marry???
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salsera (f)
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bail me out o @spoilt.
well our friend, its not always because they avnt enjoyed life enough or something. It may be for some reasons they themselves may not be able to explain. All ave got to say is develop yourself the more and make the best use of this beautiful age of 30+, there is no day i wake up without feeling fulfilled in everyway, ave always thot its a consolation, but these days i believe its not. For all singles over 30, don't even look it my dear. then u will see wonders, what is your work? be the bomb there, your spiritual walk, be faithful to it, even in a date don't be desperate at all. i say soon u will see wonders. Single and u feel frustrated? How many seminars have u attended to improve yourself, ave u considered another degree or a professional exam to add to what u ave? ponder on these things, it may help. My mum was the bug, now i got a job elsewhere all we do is call. quid pro que. Married friends, there r some i barred their numbers from my phone completely. Check this out, i think there is a difference in this two greetings
A: Aladunni hw r u? Hwz work? Mum, dad, your siblings and all those that love, still smiling as always? do people still love u the way i always fall for u? I really miss, be your best in all things and we will always pray with u. huzzy and baby r here saying hi.
B: Aha aladunni, hw nw? long time? Av u heard that ronke married last week, that unserious girl? infact i called sis jane last week and i was surprised shez put to bed for her second baby, even lagbaja also wedded last year, and lakasegbe is very heavy now, endlessly.
what do u feel, i think am justified for any action taken.
i feel u its like they've got nothin else to talk about |
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fntekim (m)
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[quote ] well issue of getin marry is not what sumbdy will rush into cus is sumtin about love and bin 2geda 4 life,so weda u re 30,50,or 100 jst wait 4 d rite time n rite person, so dnt rush |
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fntekim (m)
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well issue of getin marry is not what sumbdy will rush into cus is sumtin about love and bin 2geda 4 life,so weda u re 30,50,or 100 jst wait 4 d rite time n rite person, so dnt rush |
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fntekim (m)
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the people at that age will tell better.but actually it is not easy
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