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whitesoftx (m)
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Can someone help out with little advice please, my girlfriend is always proverbially inquisitive! each and every time she says: you know it's chrismas, what would you buy for me, you know it's weekend, what I'm I going to get for this weekend, you know its valentine, i should get something bigger and better, this and that, that and this, and guess what? she stand on her feet saying 'you just have to give me what i want, not what you like' and end it up with 'you know i love you'.
Dont you think this reduces how deep the love is?
Does she really interested in love or in getting what she want?
Do you think that kind of relationship would work out?
You've got to help friend!!!
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Hotstepper (f)
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da girl is materalistic PERIOD, she shouldn't be asking u those thingz, you're suppose 2 buy them if u want 2 and have da money and also a suprise, be careful
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Maxflame (m)
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Dude do you have metal bars on your window? Yes? good, throw her through it, it pain more.  |
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alheri (f)
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It maybe she doesnt really love you, but at the same time, it may be she does. Ive come to realize that a girl who always asks for things from her boyfriend may not neccessarily be materialistic. You see, we girls like to feel special and we sometimes feel that the only way we can be sure a guy likes us is when he gives us stuff. This happens mostly because we want to show off to our friends what our BF has gotten for us. If she has friends who get lots of stuff/gifts from their BF's, she would also want the same so she wont feel left out or unloved when her friends are talking. It might be she has a complex. I think you should sit her down and have a talk with her, explain to her how you feel about her demands and allow her to explain herself. Girls who ask for stuff most times just wnat to feel loved, girls who ask for money, are materialistic.
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Seun (m)
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There are two angles to every story. It may be that you are the one who is stingy and she is just being understanding by telling you all those things. "You just have to give me what i want, not what you like" is not an outrageous demand, it is common sense.
Maybe she observes that you are the kind of boyfriend that buys a football (or sexy lingerie) for his girlfriend on Valentine's Day! Who knows? Selfish gifts are shameful and wasteful. If you give me a gift that I don't want, I'll just throw it back at you, so I can understand your girlfriend's point of view. "Materialistic" because she wants a good Valentine's Day present? Definitely not.
So that is another angle from which one can approach the issue. You are the one who knows which scenario is the correct one, but really I see nothing wrong in a girl wanting to make sure you won't make a mistake with her "love day" gift.
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b_e_b_e (f)
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If you give me a gift that I don't want, I'll just throw it back at you, so I can understand your girlfriend's point of view.
Gives you a bag of rocks  Will you throw this gift back at me?  @whitesoftx What have you been doing thus far in the relationship for her to be so headstrong on wanting gifts? Have you denied her in the past? Did you start out spoiling her? You know, the way you start out with a woman is what she will expect throughout the relationship. You can communicate with her about this issue. I don't see it as being a reason to end the relationship. People tend to learn by example so you might want to think about that. Good luck though! |
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whitesoftx (m)
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@Seun!
All you this was judging only from my own side, why not hers too? may be you support that. this is a lady I cares about, or any bad in letting a lady knows you love her? I don't mean to brab, I always satisfy her, give her at least 90% of what she ask for, I'm not a stingy type and I can bodly say that and my pals know me for that. She is just too inquisitive! all she want is to satisfy her, you can imagine a lady telling you 'I know this may not favour you or somehow hurts you but all I want is to satisfy myself and I will" so you judge that. Its not all about Val gift, its a general issue. Seun, what would you do?
@b_e_b_e
Actually, you might be right about the way you start out with a woman is what she will expect throughout the relationship.But is is wrong to be showed i much you cares? I beg o I think i need to sit her down. Posting the thread here is to get advice and opinions and i think I'm arriving at something better.
Love you all Nairaland folks.
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Seun (m)
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Hmmm , ok, maybe I misjudged you. I remember telling a female friend of mine one time, "Is that how you see me now? You think I'm a bank?" I guess sometimes a girl needs her boyfriend to patiently make her understand that he is not Charles Soludo or CBN. Whatever you do, do it with patience sha. Good luck!  |
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whitesoftx (m)
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@Seun Great to hear that, I guess thats the next speech i would tell her " Is that how you see me now? You think I'm a bank?" thats why we are here, to learn more. sometimes you think your idea is best but turns out be be bad or even worse, Nice idea Seun. Any nore idea  'Akuna Matata' |
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Seun (m)
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Valentine's day is not the time to try something like that o. She will just show you pepper!
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Maxflame (m)
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Here's one, if she wasn't like this before and suddenly started acting this way you could just play a little pshychology on her. Tell her that you understand that she isn't interested in the relationship anymore and maybe she couldn't tell you directly but wanted to make you tired yourself by nagging and that its ok that she can leave if she wants out because your fed up. Also tell her that she could have told you calmly instead of going through this process. Make sure you tell her in a way to make you look totally calm and to give the impression you totally understand her situation. If she leaves it mean its all true but still don't act surprised because its best that way. If you feel really down about it call me and i shall buy you booz!  we go table her matter |
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whitesoftx (m)
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@Maxflame: If you feel really down about it call me and i shall buy you booz! we go table her matter . WOW! i love that and I think i would use your idea, as Seun said, that his is not adviseable at this Val period, I will apply that after Val. and Maxflame, you sound so sure of those ideas, are you a Hitch? wow, drop me you Name and Number, I go halla you if you are really one. Need some scope.  |
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Maxflame (m)
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Not just yet! i don't think i can afford buying booz for the whole forum. How many bottles can you take? Me Hitch? I like the sound of that. |
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whitesoftx (m)
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@Maxflame WOW! that would be great Maxflame, I woudn't mind just 4 bottles only , yeah you sound like a Hitch, seems you got Bsc in WOMANOLOGY , so you going to teach me some tricks? don't forget the booz |
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Maxflame (m)
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No sweat about the booz. Since you'll get my bill later on that should cover my loss. Just another thing, have you both had sex? If yes and she started acting this way afterwards don't think, just split up man. |
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b_e_b_e (f)
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seems you got Bsc in WOMANOLOGY They get played too |
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disney (f)
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Na wa o, this is a two way thing, you know what l mean, the babe might be materialistic and the guy might be stingykoko, as in ijebu made but u two have to sit down and talk it over , if u change your ways and she still keeps on being realistic, just know your own don finish, the babe go chop every damn thing wey de your account. but in the long run , check yourself , you might not have been meeting her needs. |
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Rhodalyn (f)
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your girl is one of a kind
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