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Busta (f)
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for him to be with one gurl for eight years, what else could it have been?
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theopops
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I am still trying to understand. The question is this, if you don't have anything to compare with, how will you know you have the best? That is the question I am trying to answer.
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Busta (f)
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exactly what i said earlier, He has the best already and it shows and he can feel it and there's nuthin else to compare. I mean, its incomparable.
never been in love but how else could u have explained being with the same person for eight years? sure wasn't bout the sex. Don't think so
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omonozozo (m)
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Don't worry about your friend, I think he is going the right thing.
PS the best just like every other thing is relative.
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desiree (f)
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With love you don't need a benchmark for comparison, if it feels right for him then it must be right.
It doesn’t have to be a trial and error thing for some people, some of my mates got it right the first time and have been with their first b/f for years. He has to be absolutely sure if he’s been with her for 8 years
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theopops
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I really don't think it is about sex. How can he have the best, when he only have one? I thot best is a comparative adjective. He can have the 'good', but not the best, because you have to compare at least three things, before you can know you have the best. Or am I missing something here?
Actually, I ain't worried about him/her or anybody that is going through this out there. Just curious about that.
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kiki (f)
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i guess she got all he wants and she is incoparable
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theopops
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Incomparable? How do one know that the other has everything you want, when you have not tried something else. Take the example of liking oranges. You might think you are absolutely in love with oranges and think that is all you want, until you try apples and then you can actually, without any element of doubt be sure you like oranges and that oranges are the best thing to happen to you, but without trying apples you sure do not know.
Maybe I am the only one that don't get this, but this idea of marrying the only, (best) person you have ever dated is kind of scary to me. I'll hate to resent the person I get married to and start wondering, if I should have gone around a little and see what the world has to offer.
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kiki (f)
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i don't know y he decided to go with her but i guess there must be somthing in her that makes him stick with her like that tho i can't do that
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omonozozo (m)
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I thot best is a comparative adjective. He can have the 'good', but not the best, because you have to compare at least three things, before you can know you have the best. Or am I missing something here?
Making comparison is like a setup, it is hard to get out of it. That is why most men cheat on their wifes. |
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gigitte (f)
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actually love is not like that IMO sha!
lol thts like saying how do you know ur having great sex if you've only done it with one person, it feels great to me and it doesnt have to be the greatest sex in the world so there. just the same way your guy is feeling in love and he doesnt need any other kind of confirmation. love is like that
here is my own analogy and it is copyrighted oh
love is like waiting for your period, sometimes you think your period has come, it feels like it has i.e you think u can feel the blood dripping down, you get secretions and cramps like it has, you may even put on a sanitary towel but the blood doesnt come. on the other hand when the blood does comes, you are sure beyond reasonable doubt, without looking that your period has come and time proves you right by showing u the blood on your tampon/pad.
same also with love, sometimes you feel like it is love and you act like it but in the end its not. but when it really comes along you just know that its love and time will prove you right
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theopops
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Hmmm, good analogy gigitte. But still, all these talk about love is kind of interesting. See, love is not always going to be there. It is what you have left, that you hold on to and that is what keeps the r'ship going.
Someone said something about having sex with one person and that's it, whether great or not greatest. That I can understand, if you are a v and you remain one until you are married, so henceforth, you actually don't have a choice, than to stay with your hubby. Actually, to you, it might be the greatest, because you don't have any experience.
But like I said, marriage is a big deal. It is not just about love, or sex, or beauty. It is a lot. And if it is a forever thing, then by golly, I want to make sure I have the best and not come to doubt myself ten years into the marriage.
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omonozozo (m)
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What is your definition of the best? how do you intend to find it. It may require you to have to sleep with a thousand women to achieve that. And that is not even a guaranty.  |
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desiree (f)
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First, you have to be able to define what you want(this is very difficult for most guys), and if she fits the criteria in every way, then she is the one for you. It doesn’t haven’t to be a 100% match. What the heck!!! who says love is an easy thing anyway  |
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theopops
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See, it ain't about sex. I mean, it is marriage. The M word that most men hate.
I am not saying or condemning my friend. All I am saying is this, to know the best you must have to compare. And you don't have to compare with a million women, but at the end of the day, if you have not compared, then you don't know or can't have the best. You have the 'good'.
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Busta (f)
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@ theopops
U keep talkin bout the same thing, u seem to be concerned bout the fact that he hasn't had as much women as he can to compare which is better or that he has the best.
the guy already has all he can ask for and wats he comparing? when to him he's got the best! All u can do is wish him the best and maybe u can do the comparison.
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Busta (f)
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@ theopops,
when u say compare, what exactly are u comparing or talkin bout?
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Rhea (m)
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Comparison
This is the main reason why marriages fail;
the same reason why we have 45yrs old bachelors;
the same reason why we also have 40 yr old single ladies.
When you go to a market, you compare two or more finished products to find out which is better.
The word to watch out for here is finished and goods.
Finished: The transformation process is complete. You have your already-made stuff, ready for usage. Your wife/husband to be is not yet finished/complete. You are the one to complete (or try to complete) him/her.
Products: Human beings vary in so many innumerable ways and attributes. Hence, the basis for comparison will always be biased and full of assumptions and errors.
So, my take on this, is that one can marry his/her first love. Having been together for 8yrs successfully is almost a good-enough signal to go ahead and tie the cord.
If people are to be compared endlessly before the optimum choice is made, then you will always think there's someone out there:
more beautiful
more handsome
better behaved
sexier
richer etc etc than your partner.
If you do not believe, take a look at the sky on a clear cloudless night. If you stare long enough, you will always see a star twinkling away somewhere out there at every spot you choose.
my 2cents anyway
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dondele (m)
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wonder what kept them together for 8 years if its not real love. you don't need to taste all to know which is better. sometimes u just touch the product and know its the best without having to hop around.
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mantos4u (m)
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i no fit marry her
Period!
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crito (m)
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can this be possible, i doubt it?  |
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ejik (m)
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i think sometime is great to marry your first love, but the issue is that will not fine love in a long run |
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dontexe (m)
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To marry your first love? WOW !!!! that would be great. The point is this, first love does not necessarily mean first girl friend. The truth is that most people (not all) do not understand the meaning of love when they started going out with someone; especially if that's their first relationship. Most realise what they felt was not love after they must have broken up. Love is not something u develop in a day, because if u do it won't last. Love is not a one way thing; when u love someone the person must also love u in return. The most important thing is for u to marry someone u truly love.
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gem87 (f)
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i'm in love an always will be
he's d 1st guy i've luved this much and we've been 2geda 3 years and i'm 100% sure we're gettin married
d ball is in my court
it's d best thing eva
oh sorry dnt want to bore y'all with ma story but yeah its great
and marrying him can only beat that
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theopops
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The question is not about marrying your first love. Seun merge two threads together. The question is, marrying the only person you ever dated and calling the person your best. My argument is this, how would you know you have the best, when you have only dated one person?
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Remmzy (m)
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To marry your first love? WOW !!!! that would be great. The point is this, first love does not necessarily mean first girl friend. The truth is that most people (not all) do not understand the meaning of love when they started going out with someone; especially if that's their first relationship. Most realise what they felt was not love after they must have broken up. Love is not something u develop in a day, because if u do it won't last. Love is not a one way thing; when u love someone the person must also love u in return. The most important thing is for u to marry someone u truly love.
No long story my first girlfriend is dead  & am hoping on God to find my first LOVE .S.S.S! |
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dennylove (m)
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theopops,so you no fit stick to one woman?that mean say you be CASSANOVA N GOLDDIGGER,but remember say AIDS dey oooooooooooooo
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orobsy
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I'm living the dream. I'm happily married to my first love!!! It has been wonderful! Don't hate me  |
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dennylove (m)
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inshort,marrying my first date would have been the HAPPIEST N PROUDEST THING!!! THAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ME, BUT SHE DIED,AND SINCE SHE DIED, I HASN'T FOUND ANOTHER LOVER LIKE SHE.I PRAY N HOPE TO FIND ONE, SOME DAY.
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babe1 (f)
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I waited so long to marry my first love and it didn't happen. He married someone else, got divorced and now i am married to someone else and to me he is my true first love because i am older and wiser and love him with all my heart!
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trix
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hi,i'm new here,but just had to get into this thread.i met my first love 11 years ago,today we're happily married and as crazy in love as day1.never been anyone else for either of us.it doesnt happen to everyone but if u're so lucky its d best thing in d world.never had to guess whether anyone was better,he's always been MY best!
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