My Nasty Jokes

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Romance  |  Sexuality (Moderators: mukina2, iice)  |  My Nasty Jokes
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Author Topic: My Nasty Jokes  (Read 561 views)
aqua (m)
My Nasty Jokes
« on: February 20, 2006, 01:10 AM »

i have this collection of jokes i want u all to read i will paste as much as i can okay? enjoy!


A man was approached by co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's undies, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys."

So the guy agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's undies, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he'D be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the toliet.

"How did you get in here so fast?" he asked.

"Shhhhh!!!" she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!"
aqua (m)
Re: My Nasty Jokes
« #1 on: February 20, 2006, 01:25 AM »

 young guy out on the town  spies the girl of his dreams. Having admired her from afar he finally gets up the courage to talk to her. Everything goes better than expected and she agrees to accompany him on a date the following Saturday evening. Saturday night the man arrives at her house with flowers and candy.

To his surprise, she answers the door in nothing but a towel. "I'm sorry," she exclaims, "I am running a bit late. Please come in and I'll introduce you to my parents who will entertain you while I finish getting dressed. I should warn you, though, they are both deaf mutes."

With this she ushers him into the living room, introduces him to her parents and promptly disappears. As you can imagine, this is a little uncomfortable as both of the parents are completely silent. Dad is sitting in his arm chair watching golf on TV, and Mom is busy sewing.

After about ten minutes of complete silence, the girls mother jumps from her chair, pulls up her skirt, pulls down her knickers, and pours a glass of water over her toto. Just as suddenly, the father launches himself across the room, bends her over the couch, and fcuk  her from behind. He then sits back down in his chair and balances a match stick in front of his eye. The room is plunged back into eerie silence and the young man is shocked into disbelief.

After a further ten minutes, the girl returns fully dressed and ready for the evening. The date is a complete disaster with the guy completely distracted by the on goings earlier in the living room.

At the end of the night, the girl asks, "What's the matter? Have I done something wrong?" "No, its not you," he replied, "It's just that the strangest thing happened while I was waiting for you and I am still a bit shocked. Well, first your Mother jumps from her chair, lifts up her skirt, pulls down her undies, and throws a glass of water over her ass. Then, as if that weren't enough, your Father races from his chair, leans her over the couch and fcuks her from behind. He then sits back down and places a match stick by his eye."

"Oh, is that all?" replies the girl.

The man can't believe her casual response.

"That's how they communicate!, my mom was simply saying, "Are you going to get this asshole a drink?" and my Dad was replying, "No, fcuk him - I'm watching the match."
Maxflame (m)
Re: My Nasty Jokes
« #2 on: February 20, 2006, 06:49 AM »

Nasty mate! Shocked
kizzy (f)
Re: My Nasty Jokes
« #3 on: October 29, 2006, 01:30 AM »

lmao!!

this iz c.r.a.zzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyy!! where ya get them jokez from?? Tongue
Raymand (m)
Re: My Nasty Jokes
« #4 on: October 29, 2006, 08:56 AM »

I seen the first one beforebut the second oneDAMN. . . Grin
ikamefa (f)
Re: My Nasty Jokes
« #5 on: October 29, 2006, 05:56 PM »

rotten aqua!  Tongue carry go! mooooooorrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee ! ""  Grin ""
naija4life (f)
Re: My Nasty Jokes
« #6 on: October 29, 2006, 07:35 PM »

men wouldnt mind being in that house,  Grin

will be communicating regularly
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