I know an Igbo woman who has two children. One is 1 year old and the other is 3 years old. She started whipping her youngest child when she was 6 months old. She says she didn't mean too, but cites religious beliefs and culture to support what she's doing. When her baby was 12 months, she slapped her. That was when I told her I didn't agree with what she was doing. I am against spanking children, but I do understand there are people who do that. What I can never accept is someone spanking a child under 2 and it's usually over the slightest infractions. I'm also against people who literally beat a chlid. So my question is do most Nigerians believe in whipping their children? What's your take on this?

I think most Nigerians believe in whipping and spanking. I'm not sure about how young though . . .I just know I was whipped a lot as a kid. I'm probably better for it though. I think it's because of that that we always behaved so well in public. These days you see little kids have giant fits in the store and displaying all sorts of unbecoming behavior. My sister and I just look at each other and think that kids needs to be spanked. And my mom also doesn't mind embarrassing us in public if we do something wrong. . .so we behave better for that as well. I don't think of it as something bad at all, more like necessary for some kids. . .maybe all? I know when my kids start acting up, they will probably get it as well.

YEEEPAAHHHH!!!!!!!

yes I do believe in spanking children (bible says spare the rod and spoil the child) but I only will do this when the child has grown enough to understand the diff btw good and bad and the repercusions that follow.

HA that woman should be stoned to death. How can she beat a six month old baby. What does the baby know. What kind of religious and cultural nonsense is she follwing? I think she is either mental or has legions of demons running around inside her body.

HABA!!!!! na wa o, hhhhhmmm; wonders shall neva seize!

NaJa,

I agree. This woman's using her culture and Christianity as an excuse for doing something that's wrong. In almost every culture, babies are cherished. They have little control over what they do and like you said a baby doesn't know right from wrong. She's unable to get the "lesson" from being whipped. I'm not understanding where all this rage is coming from her. She's got issues!

I was whipped by my old boy, i think it helps in your upbringing, i leave in Uk now and can see how their kids behave, my people it is nothing to ride home about and this is cos their parents dont have control over them. Here you cannot whip your kid as they belong to the GOVT and not you. Thats why you see them talk to anybody anyhow. In my front a tenage girl spat to a bus drive old enough to be my father, they lack respect and anything you can think of. Thier was a time they nearly considered bringing kane back to their schools but i think its too late. To whip a child is not bad when he does bad thing but to whip or slap a 6months or 12 month baby is wrong from any angle you can view it from.

I just have to shake my head. children are not animals . so why wipe them like animals.
Kids do not belong to the govt,But the govt has to protect them from their parents

Does it make you feel good when you hit a child all in the name of discipline. How'd you feel when your man keeps hitting you on every little thing? So why do it to a child. Over here we call it child abuse when you hit your child. No point taking your anger out on a child, as hard as it maybe you gotta keep talking to a child and let them know their boundaries. Remember kids needs respect too, and don't let an abused child grow up to become an abuser, sometimes it's hard to break the circle.

n-joy, you don't know what you're talking about.

Not at that age -

@N-joy

my parents used to beat me to discipline me - i never saw that as child abuse - i never became an abuser - outside Africa, it is seen as child abuse - imagine discipline your own child is called child abuse - this is why children born and raised outside Africa are loose, rotten and spoilt.

simply me, baby o ga o. loose, rotten, and spoilt? that's a very bold statement to make and I don't agree with it fully.  plus, there are forms of child whuppins that you can consider child abuse.

@simply Me
That's the problem with an abused child, they grow up thinking it is OK, when it's not. You say yes to smacking, and I say no. We all can't agree on it. My parents smacking did me no good.

@ Kobe
I suppose you know what you are talking about, Mr know it all. Voice your own opinion let's hear what you've got to say about disciplining children.

joy darling, for kids, discipline is a must, an unquestionable necessity they should experience. you don't hav 2 agree with other people's forms of discipline, but this doesn't mean they can't discipline their kids how they see fit. as i said earlier, some parents are extreme with their discipline and they need to tone it down, at the same time, you should understand that spankin is a form of discipline, period.

@ Kobe wish you were here for me to whip your ass, but then again you might enjoy it, like I did as a child.

lol, that one almost made me roll on the floor. okay o joy, come try am, i have a fetish for it.

Simply use appropriate instrument at the appropriate time and neither overdo it nor underdo it. 


Shalom

N-joy,

I totally agree with you. Adults are punished for hitting each other. If I don't like how someone I supervise is acting, I can't haul off and slap them. If I do, best believe, I'll have charges brought on me. And we know it's wrong for a husband to hit his wife and there are consequences for that. But children, who are really in no position to defend themselves--it's okay to hit, whip or beat them--at least in the mind of the pro-whipping crowd. YOu mentioned abused children think it's okay, which is a problem. I agree.

I dislike beating children. But I don't spare them when they are wrong. It is all about common sense.
Spanking kids is an art to me. I know when to use it and when to avoid it.
People who are brought would know when an action is appropriate. Those who have no manner cannot be expected to offer one. Little wonder, we have lot of rascals roaming the street. We must never compare our country with europe.

The west might have outlawed spanking, they have correctional facilities, juvenile courts, well structured educational system etc to take care of the lapse. Yet, in spite of this, we know their moral systen had broken down. Our attempt at copying them without looking at the cultural difference would hurt us the more.

My rule when spanking a child is that: ALWAYS LET THE CHILD KNOW WHAT HE DOES WRONG, AND LET HIM HAVE A SECOND CHANCE BEFORE SPANKING. You don't just hit a child for wrong doing, you must have a way of putting him right. Spanking must be last option.

My rule when spanking a child is that: ALWAYS LET THE CHILD KNOW WHAT HE DOES WRONG, AND LET HIM HAVE A SECOND CHANCE BEFORE SPANKING. You don't just hit a child for wrong doing, you must have a way of putting him right. Spanking must be last option.

Me:

It's so common for parents to spank their kids in a rage. What you just mentioned here is reasonable. Of course this applies to children old enough to know right from wrong. A baby can't decipher.

@April22
Olanajim has not said it is right to spank a baby. The point is that our cultures are totally different. The point is when a child does something wrong and the parent quietly scolds the child he/she will do it again, when that child does it again and the parent shouts he/she will do it again because the child knows that all the parent will do is bark and nothing more. When that child is spanked for the offence the second time there is a high possibilty that the child will not do it again. I am not saying that babies should be spanked, that is the height of wickedness and also the child should not be spanked like the parent is beating his or her age mate. As long as the it is not done in blind fury and not with  the intent to leave scars.

there is a saying that when u beat a child with one hadn u draw him closer with the other, i will spank my children, when i watch american sitcoms i get repulsed by the lack of respect for elderly people. i was whopped when i was younger and i am grateful for it because its a constant reminder of who i am and what i represent, my dad was a good man who gave us tough love, i knew he loved us and he gave us reasons why he had to whoop us, i am thirty and uptill today those years giude me in all that i do, mid you i have beign around the world, and what i see outside is incredible, no rspect what so ever y most european teenagers and their american counterparts. the only problem is when u whoop and injure or when the kid is not up to 2 years old. for me my kids will get soem tough loving definetely

ok, so I also believe in the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child", but some parents REALLY overdo it!
Of course those babies shouldn't have been hit, they still do not know the difference between right and wrong.
but even when slightly older, beating should not be frequent, and should also be the last resort like someone clearly stated.

Think about it, if the kid gets spanked for every little tiny mistake he makes (from leaving his bag in the living room instead of in his bedroom, to not doing his homework, e.t.c), the spanking no longer becomes a "big deal", since u haven't reserved this spanking for much larger errors, the kid doesn't learn the difference between little mistakes, and things that are simply unacceptable (e.g. stealing). I mean, if you hit him with an orogun () because he wouldn't let his little sister play with his toys, and u do exactly the same when he steals toys from the shop, how is he supposed to learn the gravity of his errors?

And of course, like my old man would do, a nice long extensive lecture analyzing what you have just done and making sure that you understand why what you did is wrong will precede the beating.

But yeah, I'll start with the little punishments, no sweets/candy/desserts until you get your grades back up, and i'll make sure his siblings rub the fact they are allowed all these sweets in his face.

C'mon! some Nigerian parents take it too far. So you failed your maths test and they beat you like crazy, and leave you kneeling in the corner (back turned towards the TV) for hours. That's meaningless in my opinion, how about a lesson teacher, summer school, more and more math books, and even during the holidays, no play time, just math, math, and more math!!

Spare the cane and spoil the child. I, along with my siblings, got whipped a lot as kids and I think it has brought out the best in us. As a kid, one would think one is hated, but as one grows up and see other children misbehave in the same situation where one comports himself very well, one then realises the positive effect of the whipping. As africans, it is good to whip a child for correctional purposes but it should not be for every little misdemeanour and it should also be done with moderation.

I think there are several other ways for punishing children: you can deny them of some things (eg playing games , going to visit friends and the likes)
I think that will go a long way in correctin the child.

I know of a man who slap and beats his children at the slightest offence. when it came to a time, the children became used to it and that really affected the children.

Caning, spanking and all those other "crude" forms of punishment are only applied by weak parents. I believe that if you mould a child's character rite from birth, you would not have need of using a whip to literarily break that child into shape. However, there are a few exceptions to the rule, for some people, the only language they understand is that of the cane .

Spanking and Caning is the best method.
Although there has to be a measured control to how u apply these methods but they are effective.
At the end of the day, it really does depend on the individual(the child).
There are some kids u spank and they stay disciplined but for some kids, caning toughens them and they go hay-wire.
When u dont spank some kids, they still go hay-wire cos they know there's nuthing u can do to em.

U need to see how spoilt n rotten kids in England are.
These kids are aware of the child rights and they take advantage to the maximum.
They have been schooled from a very young age that when their parents touch em they should call 999.
There is a general anarchy and the moral decadence is at its heights.
Parents cant do zilch again . . . . . .it's now common to see teenagers at 11pm loitering in the street corners drinking alcohol and having sex while the parents are in the pub socialising.
England has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the developed world and this is because the way the Government is trying to control the family.
I will spank and over-spank ma kids whether the method works or not . . . . . .Mathematically it has a 50% chance of working.

i strongly believe in child discipline. cos a well disciplined child turns out well, not been mean or cruel to kids,if there is need to spank a child then it should be done. i cant slap my kids but i will indulge more on talking to the child. a child dat is left to do wat he or she likes without discipline i wonder wat becomes of the child. here in naija we believe in flogging a child anfd they dont die nor been seen as cruel not going to the extreme though,
is not only by flogging and spanking that parents get their respects, things should be laid down from onset as how things should and should not be done

Believe it Canning or spanking isn't the best way to discipline a kid,Talking senses into the kids head and letting him to know the consequence of what he/she has done. I scold my son when he's still like 7 months old,but later realise the guy is becoming stubborn the more,i decided to change my mode of discipline the guy and presently if he did something wrong he'll be sober till i'm back from work.

, much as i may have been spanked while growing up, i do not believe it is a proper method.
, a child that is spoken to more often will over time come to appreciate the concept of dialouge and how a little sentence can turn away wrath, for all those citing scriptures, i'll advise they search for the "Rhema", the violent youths and children that we have now emananted from homes where the hand, belts and canes were improperly utilised. If spanking was a solution to bringing up a child, how come Kids in VI turn out better that Kids in Oshodi, (although i agree the environment still has little to contribute). if you are a fan of Canes, Slapping etc, could you please inform us how high you are to raise your cane when floggin a 4 year old and when flogging a 12 year old, if that cannot be measured, its not a proper solution. Same goes for Slapping and others,
, my advise is let it be the last resort, i mean the last, after the child repeats the occurence more than 499 times.
but if you believe in "whopping Ass*s", do go on and you'll live to tell the difference,
,

some children deserve to be chained sef but really,i think little kids learn n emulate wat they c happen around them.

so be watchful n lay very solid examples.

For those who don't agree with smacking or spanking a child, I guess most of u "ground" your kids when they err. My question to you is, does ur man/woman ground you when you make mistakes or do dumb things (someone compared intimate relationships to father-son relationship; I thought that was dumb)? I think adult-adult relationships are more rational than adult-child relationships for the simple fact that the adult is in most cases responsible for how the child turns out in the society, while either adult is responsible for himself/herself. That people spank their kids shouldn't be seen as child-abuse, I believe it's way better than the stupid correctional facilities they got for juveniles.
I believe in spanking, and when I do have kids I'm gonna spank them with love cuz that's the best way to impact discipline. I don't believe in unnecessary spanking, but when the kid is allowed to know why they're being whipped, they learn better and respect the disciplinarian.

Thanks for your observation femionasan. Well digested.