How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Romance (Moderators: mukina2, iice)  |  How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
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kate_angel (f)
How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« on: August 10, 2007, 09:32 PM »

If you do not know how to deal with shyness, your attitude may be misinterpreted as a sign of rudeness or a lack of interest. For example, if you are in the company of a friend's friend and you hardly speak at all, it may be taken as a sign that you do not want to talk to them. If your friend runs to your defense and says that you are "just shy", then that is the only time that other people will understand.

What if there is no other friend to defend your attitude? For this reason, you should know how to deal with shyness and take steps towards slowly climbing your way up in getting over it. Much like a lifelong disease, you may not completely overcome shyness that is why you should know how to deal with it and live a full life despite having this feeling. Take a look at these tips on how to deal with shyness:

1. Be comfortable with who you are

One of the main causes of shyness is feeling insecure about one's self. All fears should be conquered from the inside. Shyness is a fear of speaking in front of a group of people out of fear of being embarrassed that is why you need to be comfortable with who you are first. Once you have a total acceptance of who you are as a person, other people will react to your renewed sense of self-confidence. In turn, once you have enough self-confidence, you will feel more comfortable facing other people in any given social situation.

2. Identify your strengths and use them as a foundation to boost your self-esteem.

In life, we try to compensate for the things that that we lack by making up for it in other ways. The same thing holds true in overcoming shyness. If you feel that shyness is negative quality that you just cannot seem to do anything about, then make up for it in other ways. It is important to determine your strengths and weaknesses. So you know that you are painfully shy.

Take a look at the other side of the coin. What are your strengths and what makes you a unique character? Shyness cannot be the entire aspect of your being. Once you have pinpointed your strengths, you can build them up and in turn, you can boost your self-esteem. This way, you can feel a lot better once you are in the company of others because you know that there is nothing to be insecure about since you do have plus points on your side.

3. Remember that overcoming shyness is a slow process but if you continually work on it, you can certainly achieve your goal.

Shyness cannot be cured or overcome in a span of one night, or even a week or a month. It is a tedious, slow and sometimes painful process. However, much like conquering your fear, you can never completely get over your shyness if you do not do anything about it. Take it one step at a time. Start by being more open to conversation with people that you often meet.

If you do not normally chat with the grocer on the store that you always go to, try doing so now. If you often lounge in your apartment on a Friday night, try going out with your friends for a change. Take exercise classes, self-development classes, join a sport that you have always wanted to try. Letting yourself adapt to a new environment will make you meet a lot of people who will help you get over your shyness eventually.

sylvao2000 (m)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #1 on: August 10, 2007, 09:48 PM »

thanks girl noted Grin
Configur (m)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #2 on: August 10, 2007, 10:01 PM »

u make sense Smiley
$$Rhino
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #3 on: August 11, 2007, 02:38 AM »

Thanx kate, however, how do one deal with over_sabi ( overconfidence),  u be fly girl, i dey enjoy you like white man dey enjoy Cigar(cuban)
olanajim (m)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #4 on: August 11, 2007, 12:58 PM »

Kate, you are very correct. Though I did not read things like this during my acute shy period, I must confess the partern are similar. It works.

I think a shy fellow must try to mix with people and not withdraw. In my case, I joined Man O' War to disband it entirely.

Like someone pointed out, some people graduated to overconfidence maybe that is why God created them a shy creature. I don't know, I just say so.

As you help them toward self confidence, please try include how to deal with overconfidence. The later "kills" more people than shyness.
danniyi (m)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #5 on: August 11, 2007, 02:54 PM »

thanks for that lessons, it is great, i have learnt something new today, thnaks a million
Macgreat (m)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #6 on: August 11, 2007, 03:16 PM »

Yeah! Thanks in #millions
fawwyb (m)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #7 on: August 11, 2007, 03:35 PM »

Thanks, that was great. i have learnt alot. Am a shy person but currently overcoming it. Sweet kiss for you  Kiss
Kemjisuper (m)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #8 on: August 11, 2007, 06:43 PM »

Really nice advice.

It's nice to see a lady posting a topic to help others instead of picking on guys and the negative aspects of their behaviour.

Cheers to you  Grin
iice (f)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #9 on: August 11, 2007, 07:02 PM »

LOL as if the men are blameless Undecided

@Topicthere is hope for the shy ones! Grin
Macgreat (m)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #10 on: August 11, 2007, 07:24 PM »

Blameless?
iice (f)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #11 on: August 11, 2007, 07:25 PM »

If you cannot read and decipher, na your own palava! stalkarazzis!
ethereal
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #12 on: August 12, 2007, 03:51 PM »

You JUST SAVED A LIFE .Good 2 know i"m not the only shy person around.People tend to want to capitalize on it thinking u'D fall easy 4 them. I alwaysluv the stunned look on their faces when i yell NO!
dandagreat (m)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #13 on: August 12, 2007, 04:26 PM »

Thanks kate but come ooo
some peeps are too shy that they can't even post on nairaland.So kate wats your advice to them?
PHBABE (f)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #14 on: August 13, 2007, 01:29 AM »

thanks a lot kate. been shy all my life, but, the older i gets the less shy i tend to be . think i'm over coming it gradually. thanks!!!!!
edmondo (m)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #15 on: August 15, 2007, 08:11 AM »

@kate,u yarn well bt hw do one ovacome I TOO KNOW? Huh
azpunpin
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #16 on: August 15, 2007, 07:47 PM »

Thanks Kate, But for the overconfidence, Nah talk wan kill them ooooo
  Make then never see anything, Nah talk sha about am, Expecially Guys,wow, if then see one chikalah wey pass them side nah to wan speak her down go dey their mind one time.
  Nah wah for una ooooooo

Love ya
anasbeaut (f)
Re: How To Deal With Shyness - 3 Secrets For Success
« #17 on: August 21, 2007, 09:30 PM »

Girl, thanks that was useful. A lot of times people have even misintepreted my character and judged me as rude or a snob. All because I refuse to answer back when spoken to.
I don't know but i tend to have this 'i don't care' attitude.
watever. tnks for d tip though it was enlightening.
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