Got Pregnant For A London Boy While In Nigeria

 :'(hi my name is teju oso. it happens that a senior girl  in the hostel sent me out of the hostel to cut all the grass outside till dawn because i was extremely rude, so i sat down and i saw this person, damn he was so fine,  in one cut, i was at his crib,  on and on we go. he said to me dt he's on holiday from london and that his name is olatokunbo fasheyiton. few month later the aftermath of this hideous act  is my baby oladokun oso(my surname). now i'm in the UK does anyone here thinks it's a good idea if i trace the father of my baby? 'because people says there is much probability that i'll find him or is it going to be a whole lot of trouble. most time when male peolple come over my place, my baby clings to them and you can read expression in his face like, he knows he should have a father or when visitors come with their kids, he gets moody with me by stayin away and doesn't eat. now everything seems mean to me 'because it's hard raising him.

Aww, your son is soo cute Yeah I think you can trace his dad up if you wann'

You are welcome

yeah, my people are supporting me always especially financially,but sometime it's annoying because people always treat me like i really need help, you know what i mean, for example (shh  can't you see she's sleeping, oh! little sister why don't you help her with those heavy bags or i made hot  tea take it before it gets cold) and i'm like duh i'm only 19. anyway it's my fault. the only problem i have is that my little brov hates him, he call him bastard, bitch and stuff like that .

what a blessing you have in your son!!! i personally think, you should try and trace him since you DO have his 1st and last name. however, you may need some help. i don't know TOO TOO much about the u.k. but does your son have any british papers? perhaps, you can get the authories/govt to help so that his papers can state a father. this may be a bit extreme/ a last resort. i mean since your child has love and attn from you, GOD will see him through. but i mention the paperwork so that the child can take comfort in KNOWING for CERTAIN when he is much, much older (and has a child of his own). if the young man gives you any trouble just state your intentions clearly and let him know you are NOT cunning or needy,

as for your brother, i think he just needs counseling/attn. since he is younger than you, he prolly looked up to you and seeing you go t/o your unexpected pregnancy rocked his world. you didnt say he was rude to you so im going to assume he isnt. to me, this means that he feels like your son is the cause of any unhappiness that has happened or just needs someone younger to vent his frustrations, perhaps life is difficult for him at present. anyhow, i would stress to your brother how much you & your son love & admire him. who knows? perhaps, your brother will be the beloved uncle or father figure in your son's life as life goes on.

much love!

Hey teju,
You can definitely trace this guy, go to social services, as you live in the UK, there is a dept that cater for things like this, make sure you tell them his name (if the one he gave you is original), if you have a picture to his face, that will be great.  They will definitely trace him for you because he needs to accept his responsibility.  Depending on how many years you've been here, you can claim single parent's allowance, it's not really much but it will help a lot.  I'm going to help you find information on how to go about this.

Good luck

What I wrote was just an addittion or don't u think he should accept his responsibility?  Anyway, i just feel for the baby

alheri and debbieolat, both of you're right and you're still saying da samething because alheri said the father will find it difficult to accept the situation, which means he wouldn't be there 100% so it means that there will be financial shortage. alheri is solving this problem step by step while debbieolat is thinking straight, i think both idea is great

@desiree, that is very true! I never even thot of that. In as much as its between you guys you should invovle an adult in this decision/process. You know, make it a family thingy so you would look respectable. Wow, there is sooo much to this issue. May God see you through.   

i think he's some dude that seems so big in naija and he has no idea he had a son somewhere. the thing is i can't call him a husband right? because i saw him once and that was it. men, it's not good to do bad stuff

Hey teju, I can’t believe I’ll see you on nairaland but no much surprise because we met on hi 5 too remember. Don’t look for the boy because when you see him he probably say well I don’t love you and I don’t want to be responsible as a father and nothing will hapen, but he wouldn’t deny because nobody will forget scootin a girl out of their premises. Girl you were so smart because I heared you kept the pregnancy secret for 4 month and we still leave in the same hostel. what were your parent like when they knew

teju, youre soo funny. You mean you said that to your pops ? LOL. I no blame you, na because the man no whip your A$$ 
Anyways, how far? Have you come to a decision on how to go about finding Tokunbo? Are you even going to tell him?

Hi

Try this, you may or may not have to pay but worth a try?
.
tp://www.192.com/search/index.cfm?section=people&view=a

Sorry about your situatuion. But remember every dispointment is a blessing in one way or another. Just try to be the best mother you can be. And i hope u find your baby daddy. One more thing ,  since this thing was a one night stand your not really sure that he is from the UK because he didnt prove it to u in anyway. he could still be in naija. Just be careful when doing your research and pray for god to help u out.

teju,

Am touched by your story and I like you. You are a strong woman and you will make it in life.

I wish you good luck in all you want to do. All I have to say is 'always be there for your son' no matter the situation.

OH my God.thats a cute little dude u've got there.i also want a son as my first.God will help u girl,you'll find his father,try trace him from home.naija i mean.because its much easier than u looking him up in london.take good care of that kid ok.i will personally come after u if anything happens to him.trust me i know how to find my way.and i sure will.as for that brother of urs,he is just still a kid.he does not know what life has got to offer his sorry ass.please i urge u take good and proper care of that little man.ok.God will help u find his father.