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k0be
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War On Nairaland: NINs Vs NIDsIn Nairaland news, it seems Commander in Chief, General Oluwaseun Osewa has his hands full. Ass-o-rock, Nairaland - It appears a verbal war has broken out on Nairaland, as Nigerians in Nigeria (NINs) have taken on the mission to deal severely with Nigerians in Disapora(NIDs). It is unknown how long the war will last, but according to our undisclosed expert sources the war escalated about two weeks ago when one of the ring leaders of the NINs, Activist Aki(unconfirmed first name) Paw-Paw, generally defamed the NIDs by calling them * poop packers*([urlhttp://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-71829.0.html]but not in those words[/url]), an unacceptable insult to the NID populace. The NIDs refused to simply roll-over like horn-dogs and accept the derogation, they decided to make the NINs pay for the display they simply term "hypocrisy" by trading jabs with them on their threads. An example of such thread is one titled " You are no longer Nigerian, if you adopt a foreign citizenship." Since then, the NINs have vowed to do the best they can to disarm their assailants. "We can't take their holider-than-thou mentality any longer," says Shango, a member of the NIN-defense committee, it's sickening. In retaliation, Doyin13 a member of the internationally trained NID militia, called Sergeant Shango a NINcompoop. As a precaution, the president of the land, banorable Oluwaseun Osewa has declared a state-of-emergency on Nairaland. We promise to keep you posted on this hot-story when we receive more information, so stay posted.
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doyin13 (m)
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NIN'S -
WE WANT FREE
WE WANT FREE
WE WANT FREE
WE WANT FREE
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Jackal (m)
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@ Doyin13, NIN'S -
WE WANT FREE
WE WANT FREE
WE WANT FREE
WE WANT FREE
You are a cheeky geezer. Amistad has gotten into ur cranium. If the NINs decipher ur comments . . . . . . .They will have u for dinner.  |
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doyin13 (m)
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La Chacal For decoding, I become an honorary Red.  |
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aloib (f)
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lamo, wetin una no go see for nl
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lovemajek (f)
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We are one in spirit, just expressing diferent ideas for New Nigeria.
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Jakumo (m)
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Furthermore, the Commander in Chief has sent a message of assurance to all Nigerians that despite the SPORADIC shooting that has caused many Nairalanders to SCAMPER FOR DEAR LIFE to avoid the melee in which knives, cudgels, juju talismans. firearms and curses are being FREELY USED, the initiative has been taken by federal troops, and the end of hostilities is in sight.
Generalissimo Seun Osewa has been quoted by our INTREPID reporters as again confirming that " There is no cause for alarm " , even as refugees were seen leaving the battlefront in droves, while official government spokesmen have also added that the perpetrators of the current anarchy will be BROUGHT TO BOOK so as to ensure that our NASCENT DEMOCRACY is in no way threatened or derailed by DISGRUNTLED ELEMENTS bent on tarnishing the image of our great nation.
To this end, a few arrests have been made at the battle front, the most notable of which is that of renegade field commander Pawpaw, who unfortunately resorted to the use of Juju practices banned under the Geneva Convention to dematerialise and thus PAVE THE WAY for his escape from custody. Police and military authorities have however assured the public that NO STONE WILL BE LEFT UNTURNED in their quest to re-arrest the fugitive Mr. Pawpaw and restore NORMALCY to our troubled nation.
On a surprise tour of the front lines during which he oversaw the firing-squad execution of a few cowardly deserters, Generalissimo Osewa personally lead an assault on a heavily fortified enemy machine-gun nest, engaging the gun crew in vicious hand-to-hand combat and thus opening up a gaping hole in the enemy flanks through which loyal troops were able to deploy in large numbers, scattering opposing forces in disarray as they advanced.
As at press time, Nairaland's air defence emplacements have been placed on full stage-3 red alert in anticipation of a rumoured campaign of aerial bombardment that may be launched at any moment by the Nigerians in Diaspora Airforce, who, it will be recalled, sustained heavy losses in an earlier dog-fight with jets from the Nigerians in Nigeria strategic air command during the infamous "Nigerians Carry Shit" episode that took place during the opening salvos of the conflict .
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k0be
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you too much |
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ono (m)
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As usual, hilarious Jakumo on the prowl!
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desgiezd (m)
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Furthermore, the Commander in Chief has sent a message of assurance to all Nigerians that despite the SPORADIC shooting that has caused many Nairalanders to SCAMPER FOR DEAR LIFE to avoid the melee in which knives, cudgels, juju talismans. firearms and curses are being FREELY USED, the initiative has been taken by federal troops, and the end of hostilities is in sight.
I want to believe that all these crude war equipments written in bold were used by NsIN, does it mean that the NsID don't have war equipments like computerised Laser Guided Misiles, Tomahawk Misiles, Ground to Air misiles, Air to Ground Misiles, Atomic Bombs, Chemical Bombs, Patriot Misiles and Intercontinental Ballistic Misiles that could be deployed against the NsIN? |
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lovemajek (f)
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please, let us end the war here.
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Paw-Paw (m)
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There's no problem with anybody, all we are saying is they have to behave and stop this "we live abroad mentality", because no body really care. Who care weather them live here or abroad? To be honest with you I don't care.
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PTH (m)
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There is no cause for alarm, the federal government of Nairaland has promised to look into the situation and no stone will be left unturned to bring the culprits to book.
The police force has since commenced initial investigation into this matter and a press release would be made to the public soon.
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lovemajek (f)
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Okay, we shall wait and see.
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k0be
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iroyin, iroyin, iroyin!
After immense investigation the culprits are yet to be publicly identified. All evidence suggests that the battle could have been quenched as early as last night, but operation-nairaland, the Nigerian equivalent of operation sweep, decided to add more fuel to the fire by letting the war proceed longer, as a way to generate more money-producing hits for the site. The president was earlier observed saying "We're taking things slowly, making sure nobody's hurt and attempting to save as much money as possible, I'm an enterpreneur, a business man." No casualty has been reported in wake of this war, although several soldiers from both sides have been nursing depression-related injuries.
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Jackal (m)
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@ K0be, Why don't u tell us the WAR-LORDS and their respective goons leading the 2 factions. I need to read a dossier or a comprehensive profile of each n every one of the warring factions. Having read your intro voraciously, i learnt i belong to the NIDs faction but i got so many pals in the NINs. Does it mean i will become enemies with ma own neighbours. Is this another form of ethnic cleansing on Nairaland. The memories of em slain Tutsis and Hutus of Rwanda still generate ripples and we don't want to see anything that EVIL again. I implore u to name and shame all the parties involve so we can erm, erm, practise some JUNGLE JUSTICE as appropriate. let me introduce maself as the Chief Executioner of the SPORTS State of the Federal Republic of Nairaland. I am also proud to say ma methods are CRUDE and very RAW.  Thank You. |
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k0be
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Excuse me sir, Mr. Paw-Paw do you have time for a quick interview.
what caused this vehemently-hot war between you and the NIDS?
a member of the NID was spotted earlier saying you're unworthy of being called a Nigerian patriot, how do you feel about this?
you were quoted as saying "NIDs are s*hit packers", is this an insult? an act of patriotism? or is it something you have seen first-hand?
Why do you want NIDs to stop criticizing Nigeria?
Do you hope to see an end to this war soon for the sake of our Nairaland civilians?
Would you be willing to work out a truce with the NIDs at tommorrow's convention?
Our nation will be looking forward to the answers, we appreciate them in advance thank you very much
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laudate
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Chei!! Kobe, you be ba-aa-aa-ad guy!! ROFL and LMAO!!
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Roscodaddy (m)
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Just heard from one of the parrots I sent to the NIDS camp,that they will stop all Western Union and Money Gram to Nigeria,will this put a clamp on the purchase of weapons for this war.
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osereka (m)
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@ denex,
where are you?
ABI BANORABLE SEUN DON BAN YOU?
IF NA SO, JUST REGISTER another NAME AND COME BACK
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debosky (m)
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**FIRES SCUD MISSILE AT NIN's**
Paw-Paw is a moron, a nitwit and a shallow thinker. If he thinks all the issues are based on 'we are better than you' or 'we don't see anything good in Nigeria' then he is highly mistaken. NID's will not relent is speaking out about anything we see as bad in Nigeria, just as there will be no hesitation in giving praise and adulation when due.
**re-loading missile launcher**
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osereka (m)
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which one of you do this, AMERICANIZED NAIJAS
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/6929909.stm
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debosky (m)
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Americanized? ok, a Uk based Nigerian couple commit fraud, what does that have to do with America?
you need to get over your america hatred ok?
**issues osereka a hot slap**
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PTH (m)
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debo, u shld not be issuing osereka a hot slap. Rather i'd be commiserating with him and assuring him that visa rejection is not the end of the world. There must be fancy paying jobs in naija he can do rather than hyperventilating about shit packers in america.
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lovemajek (f)
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na true about the job.
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dutireyemi (f)
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**FIRES SCUD MISSILE AT NIN's**
Paw-Paw is a moron, a nitwit and a shallow thinker. If he thinks all the issues are based on 'we are better than you' or 'we don't see anything good in Nigeria' then he is highly mistaken. NID's will not relent is speaking out about anything we see as bad in Nigeria, just as there will be no hesitation in giving praise and adulation when due.
**re-loading missile launcher** omg this is funny  iroyin, iroyin, iroyin!
After immense investigation the culprits are yet to be publicly identified. All evidence suggests that the battle could have been quenched as early as last night, but operation-nairaland, the Nigerian equivalent of operation sweep, decided to add more fuel to the fire by letting the war proceed longer, as a way to generate more money-producing hits for the site. The president was earlier observed saying "We're taking things slowly, making sure nobody's hurt and attempting to save as much money as possible, I'm an enterpreneur, a business man." No casualty has been reported in wake of this war, although several soldiers from both sides have been nursing depression-related injuries.
i'm laughing my ass out here |
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Tats (m)
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Just heard from one of the parrots I sent to the NIDS camp,that they will stop all Western Union and Money Gram to Nigeria,will this put a clamp on the purchase of weapons for this war.
In addition to putting a halt to all Western union and Money gram transfers, we the NIDs are also enlisting the services of MI5, CIA and KGB to capture all NINs that are engaged in this internet war with the use of PCs |
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PTH (m)
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News just reaching our newsroom indicates that a prominent part of the NINs political movement, the "i love Nigeria" brigade has made the necessary arrangements to challenge their visa rejection status at various foreign embassies.
It is alleged that they were denied visa on the grounds that they were found ineligible to pack foreign shit.
We will keep you posted as more news unfolds.
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yewa-man (m)
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ONE LOVE KEEP US TOGETHER |
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debosky (m)
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. . . . in addition to the above report, clandestine moves are currently underway by some ingenious NINs operatives surreptitiously IMPORT foreign shit wholesale into Nigeria for easy packing as their own form of outsourcing, thereby countering the effects of the stopped Western Union and Moneygram transfers, and enabling them to re-stock their depleted arsenal!
More to follow
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