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lekuchi
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Meeting chicks was also the benefits of serving your country so that at the end of your service year you would go home with your certificate and if lucky a bride from another part of the country. Am certainly sure there is something about social-cultural integration in the NYSC handbook (for those that they gave and failed to read it check it at your spare time) I almost did, maybe in my dreams, the charming bride was somehow real and what she wanted was just a little thing called commitment which i promptly gave her but what she didnt know that i was aware of her commitment to other three guys outside and within my jurisdiction, this makes us four, isnt that wonderful for just one person! Maybe there is something special about her that the three guys know and I don't know? Will she ditch those three guys for an hustler like me? Maybe only in my dreams. How about if she dosent love anybody among the four fools? Really are girls that mean? How about saying I do to the four on different days? That would be creative, only a genuis would do that! Dont you smell Betrayal! Deceit! Pretense! etc No I don't I see a perfect Actress in the making. KEEP YOU POSTED, *
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lekuchi
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When I said that nobody really likes you and only rout for you because they stand to gain something in one of my posts earlier, people might think i was being cynical but in actual fact i might be right because i am also guilty of it which makes me a culprit. Right from when i was young even till now, I always make sure that some of my friends were those that were two or at most four years older me. That is why some of my cousin's friends and my elder brother's friends (either male or female) were also my friends. The reason for this was that i knew i stand to gain a lot from their level of exposure, experience and sense of maturity which is partly responsible for the kind of person i am today. (don't mis-quote me, am not saying that i don't have meaningful friendship with my peers or age group, of course i do, its just that i click faster with them.) though they have their shortcomings like anyother person but am focused on what i actually want which makes me a bigger culprit.
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lekuchi
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There are some people that under normal circumstances i wldnt be able to stand them either because of their mannerism or their atititude but just because they have a shelf full of bestseller novels and being a novel freak, i would just make do with them so that i would get my steady supplies of novels. This makes me the biggest culprit. What am saying in essence is that the idea of benefiting something either directly or indirectly as a basis for most friendship can't be overemphaised except in few cases. So my advice as the biggest culprit is for them to find out if possible your friends motive for being friends with you. Watch your back regulary because nobody is doing that 4 you except God. Betterstill play a fast one on the person exploiting you through his or her friendship with you so that at the end of the day your spoils of war would be more than that of your exploiter. Did i give that kind of advice please don't take my advice, and if you do i wldnt be held responsible because it was just a slip of my pen.
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lekuchi
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The word 'Friend' or 'Friendship' means a lot to different people. I had a problem defining the word and i decided against checking the encyclopedia for an acceptable defination. A friend to me is 'someone that has your interest at heart and would do everything within his means to help whenever the need arise' I know i wldnt get an applause for that its just a layman's defination. Friends are meant to watch each others back. Am i right? or do you do this only when it is convienent for you? Think about that!
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lekuchi
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Friends are meant to confide their past in their friends so that they would be able to reconcile their past with their present and know the future of their friendship. Do you hide your past from those you call your friends? Friends should relate issues with their friends rather than them hearing it from an unknown third party under the guise of protecting them, you are only hurting them.
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lekuchi
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You hurt them when you take advantage of them. You hurt them when you walk out on them. You hurt them when you make a puppet of them infront of people just to prove a point. You hurt them when are too Proud to say 'I AM SORRY' It hurts them more when you don't know what you want.
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lekuchi
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A friend looks you in the eye and tells you the gospel truth darming the consequences. A friend feels you pain no matter how little. A friend gives without expecting anything in return. A friend forgives even if it takes an eternity to do it! Are you a good friend? Am i also one? That is left for you to decide but the mistake we make most times is that we blame others for what might be our fault. I think it would be a great step if we take responsibility for all our actions instead of looking for someone to take the fall. Anyway that is a Food for Thought. KEEP YOU POSTED,
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lekuchi
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I know itsnt easy to take responsibility for our actions and mistakes simply because we get this temporal satisfaction hiding behind something or someone. Maybe facing reality and accepting the truth is even more difficult. There was this young lady that i dated during my service year. our relationship was quite satisfactory except for the normal hitches which was peculiar in all relationship. We started having problems when she started pointing out somethings which i didnt think was big enough to be called a problem and it got to a stage that the issue became a threat to our relationship. In a bid to make her point clear she unknownly resorted to nagging which was a thing i detest so much. It became difficult for us to make a meaningful conversation without the issue raising its ugly head. I didnt know when i accussed her of been obssessed and it finally got to stage where the centre couldnt hold any longer so we fell apart. What suprises me most was why i never gave her complaint a serious thought because i am a kind of person that look at things more than the face value and at times dig more to get my facts which was why it takes time to trust people.
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lekuchi
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My heart bleeds anytime i realise how true her intentions were and if i can clearly remember the last thing she said when i left her room "if you think you are not happy here what makes you think you would be happy over there" it wasnt a curse as you might think its just a fact. When events started unfolding i knew i had failed to listen to the voices of reason. The crux of the matter was that what she saw a far of i didnt see until i was right in the middle of it. It is quite obvious now that the wrong person here is me but accepting i was wrong isnt easy talk less of admitting it when everything blew up right in her presence. But till today i don't know how i mustle up the courage to admit to her that she was right from the on set. Putting aside my ego and pride i apologise for been shortsighted to have mistaken her concern for obessession.
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lekuchi
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When we were all growing up we might have done a lot of things we were not proud of,some we can say others we can never say because of how disgraceful it was. I could remember attending a church service and the topic been preached was restitution which simply means returning all you have taken falsely or wrongly to the owner or betterstill making amends for wrong doings and giving back things taken without the owners consent. As young as i was then i was touched and i knew i had to make things right. Infact i made a list of my amends and treated them from the less difficult ones. The hardest part was facing my mum and telling her i was responsible for breaking her priceless china ware she loves so much and hasnt forgiven whosoever she felt was responsible for it. Was it the number of her unbreakable plates that i have broken and replaced and she didnt know, was it her numerous change that i failed to return and was a supliment to my pocket money, infact the list is endless
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lekuchi
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Since my courage me i had to put it into writing and dropped it on her bed. She did read it and she forgave me and i can tell you this made me a better person and till today if i take any of her things i will always admit it.
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lekuchi
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That i was able to do this on two different occassion dosent mean i don't have numerous situations in my life that instead of taking my share of the blame i always look for an escape route. If you care to know i will gist you so that you will know you are not the only one outside there but maybe you are only one that dosent want to change. KEEP You POSTED,
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lekuchi
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This is where one needs to put the past behind and forge ahead for a better future "The brighest future will always be based on forgotten past, you can't get on well until you let go past failures and heartaches" This is where i have to apologise to all those that i have unduely taken advantage either directly or indirectly, those who believe in me and i ended up letting them down, those i made feel they were lesser human beings just because i was disillusioned, those who had good intentions but the wind of change turned them to bad ones, those i shut out of my life for no just cause and those who despite been far apart still cared.
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lekuchi
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I have actually found the grace to forgive the back-stabbing guy i just hope he changes. I have also forgiven those that set me up to attend a family conference where i was stylishly accussed of wanting to break a relationship that was altar bound. I chose to forgive those that thought i was stupid just because i was silent about the things happening around me. I forgive all those that have judged me even before they had the chance of really knowing me. I finally forgive those that find it difficult to forgive themselves as their conscience acts as a constant reminder of their deeds.
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lekuchi
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I regret loosing a friend just because i was economical with the truth, his discovery of this made him have a low opinion of me, he couldnt just figure out what was the big deal about it. I regret not actively involved in a unit of my fellowship or church during my service year it would have been an oportunity to work for God. But it isnt late i can still be relevant in my parish today. I regret doing somethings i can never forget i did and if there is a way of taking them back i would.
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lekuchi
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I would be forever be indebted to a friend who was my rock, inspite of our different religious belief and age difference he still took me as a brother. It would be so ungrateful to me not to mention my first friends on camp who accepted me for who i was and where there for me when i needed their help but due to circumstances beyond them have decided to become just an aquaintance. How can i forget my friend, sister (though not biological) confidant whose advice, support and belief in me made me sail through when it was only me against the world.
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lekuchi
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Am also grateful for all those that made my service year a memorable one likewise those that made part of it miserable. You were both only trying to make me a better person. A big thanks to those that have been reading my memoir in the last two months. I know there are a lot of things you might not understand, maybe we should just leave it that away. Ciao , For your comments mostly the critical ones mail me at lekuchi1401@yahoo.com |
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lekuchi
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MEMOIRS
« #81 on: Yesterday at 01:38:16 PM » |
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I will take my time to review some of the comments sent to my mail and try to be very diplomatic in replying them so as not to hurt anybodys feelings.
KEEP YOU POSTED,
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