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dutchmillionaire (m)
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My girl Said I Disgust Her Since After That.[/b]
i
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jkpretty (f)
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Make her understand, for now maybe she needs sometime to get over what happened.
But let that be ur last, ask for God's forgiveness intensely.
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yimiton (f)
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She's definitely saddled with guilt and you remind her of her murdered unborn baby whom she had probably fallen in love with before it was killed. You didn't say weather you did this with or without her consent. It will be nice to know how old she is too. Since you were already working, challengesor not, you sure would have kept the child since you really wanted to marry the lady. If you know you aren't ready to father a child, please keep away from fathering one and not killing babies or endangering the lives of women all in the name of abortion.
For now, give her some space, be understanding and be there for her when she needs you. She needs your reassurance more than ever before. You need to make her realise that you're both in this and try to phase the guilt away.
Her religious back ground is very important, if she was brought up as a good and practicing catholic like me, trust me, she's definitely feeling like the biggest murderer on earth right now. She'll still feel the same way, even if the pregnancy were only a week old.
Get prayerful too. Ask for forgiveness together and if she's a catholic, encourage her to go for confession and purge herself of all guilt. It will take a while and she may never get away totally from the trauma but she'll survive it with your assistance.
Good luck!
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olanajim (m)
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@poster
you aborted your girlfriend pregnancy even though she asked you to leave it? Did you deceived her or persuaded her?
Regardless of whether she consented to it or not, I think you are wicked, irresponsible. What if she had lost her life in the process? What if she had had a permanent damage to her womb? What if there is an error that is not revealed now, but prove fatal later? Would you still love her if she were certified as infertile as a result of the abortion? You talk about a little problem at your job, would the baby complicate your problem or ruin your career? Do you know that what you did would a lasting psychological impact on the lady? And you claimed to love her! Love that seek anhilation and technical destruction of another partner? Love that could not make a simple sacrifice for the beloved. That is no love. Unless you are suspecting her fidelity. Or she is trying to tie you down with the pregnancy. If that is not the case, then I am justified to be hard on you.
I have heard of people having children in poverty and still live to make money afterward to take care of the kids. Most of the rich men we see don't marry when they are millionaire. So what is wrong with our youths? Have they no more faith in the creator anymore? Why did you have unprotected sex in the first place when you are not ready to bear the responsibility?
What you have done is not only against God, bv against humanity. If the lady would not forgive you, she is justified. If she were my sister I would tell her to kiss you bye bye unless I have any reason to think otherwise.
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Easybaby (f)
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There is nothing you can do   
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dutchmillionaire (m)
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she is 26. i never wanted her to kip the pregnancy. i begged her to understand my situation and she did before we proceeded to a clinic where we did it. I made sure i got the best clinic in town nomatter the cost,because i never wanted to hurt her womb or things like that. Meanwhile the doc was trained abroad. i v begged God 4 forgiveness and also begged her too. She is an anglican.
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Siena
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Honestly, I do NOT agree with abortion!  That was pretty selfish of you. When you chose to have unprotected sex, what did you think could happen, huh? She certainly didn't get pregnant on her own! Now, you're on here, trying to make folk feel sorry for you! Well, harsh as it may sound, I have absolutely NO sympathy for you. I really feel sorry for the girl, she could have died having that termination, or didn't you think of that? Suppose she developed an infection, that later turns out to affect her ability to have kids in the future, what then, huh?  I pray she stays well away from you, and finds a bloke who'll treat her better, she must be going through emotional turmoil, and it's her you should be worried about, rather than trying to ease your own guilt. Folk of today, tut tut.  |
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olanajim (m)
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I will just advise you to beg her and set a time table for formal wedding. At 26, a lot would be going on in my mind. I think my earlier rebuke is 'too' harsh for your case. I still have my reservation though. I still believe you should have considered every options before going to abortion table. You have to convince her that you deserve her love. It is obvious you are sorry. Try and build faith and not succumb to problem again. You had been tested by God with that pregnancy. You failed the test of faith by allowing your work problems becloud your reason. Please return to her and try win back her confidence. If you can do that, you may discover a new meaning of love. She still love you, else she would have parted from you since. You have your second chance. Court her and make her feel special. You can win again.
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aisha2 (f)
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Why have unprotected sex when you are not ready for Parenthood.
Anyway, thats past. Woman go through trauma after losing babaies those who die during child birth or abortion, the case of abortion is worse because it leaves a sense of guilt.
A child is a part of a woman it grows in her body so it is like loosing part of your body.
All you can do now is be patient, Apologise andapologise till you wear her down, Give her time but always be there for her if she needs you or anything. The key word is pateince if you love her you will be patient with her and give her time to heal.
Note of Warnig: No more unplanned pregnancy man, use your head.
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jkpretty (f)
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please u guys what has happened has happened. Every one detests abortion, I would definitely not succumb to an advice such as that. That's a double mistake.
Now this guy, just needs help, he already feels bad already from d outlook, the silly excuse which he referred to as job problems has been pointed out already. He needs a way out not a way 2 b crushed, yes i know he has to feel d impact of what he did, which is totally wrong in the face of man & God. But please lets chill a little bit.
@poster i'm sure she thinks u don't want something solid wit her, search ur heart d truth is there.
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yimiton (f)
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At 26 she's old enough to get married and you're definitely older. I Still don't understand your excuse though. She didn't understand, no woman will understand any reason why she has to kill her own child. She was simply coersed by you. She felt insecrue and scared and didn't take that decision objectively. Realisations has just dawned on her and she hates herself and you for what you made her do. Follow my advice and see how it works out, if it doesn't, don't blame her, it's not her fault. She probaly feels you don't love her enough to encourage her to keep your baby.
Something you must know again is that no doctor is ever "perfect" when it comes to abortion. Anythiing could have happened in the process even if he had been trained in the best place by the best.
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tpia
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@ poster: you know you can't eat your cake and have it.
You made the girl abort her baby and still want things to be the way they were before your action. Its just not possible.
It was really selfish of you anyway, but you'll probably have various excuses for what you did. But don't expect the girl to feel happy over an abortion. Moreso this was a baby she wanted to keep.
best thing would be for both of you to go your separate ways, but I guess you'll still want to give the relationship another try. You do know the girl herself is devalued in your eyes now, whether you admit it to yourself or not.
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Seun (m)
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The girl has to take responsibility for her actions. I'm sick and tired of girls claiming someone "made" them do something. It was not his fault that she got pregnant; she was probably thinking it would push him to propose to her. And after he did not propose marriage, she decided to abort. It is all her doing; someone should tell her to shut up and accept her guilt like a woman. She was not forced to get pregnant or abort it. |
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enolase (m)
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The girl has to take responsibility for her actions. I'm sick and tired of girls claiming someone "made" them do something. It was not his fault that she got pregnant; she was probably thinking it would push him to propose to her. And after he did not propose marriage, she decided to abort. It is all her doing; someone should tell her to shut up and accept her guilt like a woman. She was not forced to get pregnant or abort it. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Such comments can only come from someone who is ignorant of the issues involved, or has a wicked heart. I wonder which of these is at work here. Are you in this country at all? Don't you watch the news and see what stakeholders in the fight against HIV/AIDS are saying in the area of giving women more of a say when it comes to determining if and when they should have sex, safer sexual practices, knowing that in our culture, women do not have a say in such matters? IF THIS GIRL WERE TO BE YOUR OWN BLOOD SISTER, SAME MOTHER, SAME FATHER, IS THIS WHAT YOUR RESPONSE WILL BE? Even some married men too push their wives to abort babies if they feel the spacing of their children isn't wide enough. The last one I saw in my clinic won't forget me in a hurry: I gave him a real good piece of my mind and really gave him something to think about in a long while. Men can be so selfish at times. Is it because we are not the ones carrying the pregnancies and enduring all the complexities that go with it? The guy in question is not worth being called a man. He should have owned up to his responsibilities and marry the babe and take care of her and the baby. Love is not sex, and sex is not love. You can love someone without having sex with the person until you are married. So it's time we cut the crap and get real. |
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Akinagirl (f)
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honestly, u would disgust me too |
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ikayy (m)
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You shouldn't have made such a decision in the first place, should I be in her shoes, I might forgive you but never forget it.
Any how,for now I think you should show her more commitment in the relationship and your true desire.You making her abort the baby(your baby) might be giving her the feeling of insecurity and that might be the reason she might be keeping her distance.
I hope everything goes well for you & also consider your girl's feeling and opinion before making certain decision.
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Leilah (f)
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Please re assure her there will be another baby. Book your wedding.
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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*shakes head*
Guys sha.
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omoge (f)
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marry her. give her another belle and move on to the next level.
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toshmann (m)
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@poster you and your girlfriend are a bundle of disgrace to humanity. i have no pity for you too and if you ask me, i'll say you both deserve to break-up and never get together again because your relationship has produced yet another classical display of shameless murder of an innocent unborn child. the blood of that child rests on your unfortunate souls for the rest of your miserable lives when you fools were busy banging each other without contraceptives (and without marriage) what was going on in your brainless skulls? now you bring a child into the world and tell me you are not ready and expect sympathy. did you father ask your mother to abort you? and for your dumbo girlfriend, so if you ask the idiot to put her hand in fire she would do so? does she not have a mind of her own? both of you are guilty and deserve to suffer and if you nincompoops don't go down on your idle knees and beg God for forgiveness, you may as well live the rest of your lives regretting the day you destroyed something created by God. Nonsense |
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$$Rhino
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@ Poster, be a real man, go to the woman, go on your kneels, explain to her better why u took such a decision, because part of her has been killed, i am sure she was already feeling some attachment with the pregnancy, however, we men can't understand that, so it wont be easy for her to trust you, because now she is feeling realy bad, and feeling like she was used, explain to her, beg her, be there for her more than you can, be all you could be, and beg her, if you are not careful, you will surely loose her, but please, if she means all you said she does, go on your kneels and do the right thing, if possible, might be the best time to pop the question, lose the male ego thing and cry if you have to, but plsssssssssssss make sure you mean all you will be saying to her, nothing worse than her trusting you again, and you throw it into her face, good luck and best of luck to both of you, if it works out, i have to be the MC for the wedding oh, else, i know where you live and i will come and kick ya behind
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wendymanda
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If the girl is distancing herself from you then its not going to work. She believes you helped perpetrate a murder of someone she was close to. Even though she the baby was still a fetus a bond was still formed. She probably agreed to the abortion because she thought the love would still be there and she did not want to be a single mother. Even if you guys get marries ( if that is in the future plans) things will never work out because of this murder. Her conscience will never forgive her for helping to perpetrate such an abomination and if she has another child she will always compare how old the aborted one would be to the living one.
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tpia
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@ poster.
just move on.
if the girl is trying to distance herself from you, please let her go.
The time to be emotional/sentimental has passed.
both of you should just let each other go and start over.
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oscar meca
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@ toshmann,
Toshman or captain cave man, you are definitely out of your mind!!
@ poster
Try to make things up with your girl . It might or might not work. I hope you've learnt your lesson.
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lifegal (f)
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My Guy go and face the challenges you are passing through @ work ohhhhhhhh! since the pregnancy wouldn't have allowed you face it. now u are crying over spilt milk abi? abeg safe it for another purpose ok. say it out, U don't WANT TO MARRY HER! and save all the stories of taking her to the best hospital in town and getting a UK trained doctor. my advice to the girl in question is to pray asking God for forgiveness and move ahead with her life forgeting about you. |
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mamaput (f)
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Going from the age of the lady i would say she wanted to help the man to a decision. The decision was not in her favour and now she feels that she is wasting her time with the guy.Her marrage clock is ticking. If he dose not propose to her she will move on. @ Poster please stop wasting her time. @ enolase Are you in this country at all? Don't you watch the news and see what stakeholders in the fight against HIV/AIDS are saying in the area of giving women more of a say when it comes to determining if and when they should have sex, safer sexual practices, knowing that in our culture, women do not have a say in such matters? The people involved are not married. a girlfriend has every say over her body any other thing will be rape, I as a woman am well aware that if i should get pregnant it will affect me I am the one carring out the baby. Only i can decide on keeping a baby or not. Onlyi can decide on getting pregnant in the first place or not , We have many forms of prevention. And its up to me to insist on it. between even a married woman has the right over her body by Nigerian law |
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Wado (f)
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Whu is everyone harmering on this guy, what about the mumu girl way open her leg for am skin to skin. She is just pretending to make u feel that she do not like abortion. If she has stood her ground am sure that you would not have pin her down and insert knife into her. She gave her consent after all. Bros, if she no wake-up move my guy.
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sanrima (f)
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The girl has to take responsibility for her actions. I'm sick and tired of girls claiming someone "made" them do something. It was not his fault that she got pregnant; she was probably thinking it would push him to propose to her. And after he did not propose marriage, she decided to abort. It is all her doing; someone should tell her to shut up and accept her guilt like a woman. She was not forced to get pregnant or abort it. @ seun in as much as i agree u,v made a good point, some of ur words are too harsh. @ poster
i understand what ur girl is passing tru now but that is not enough reason 4 her to shut u out completely. agreeing to make love was a mutual agreement b/w the both of u and also terminating the unwanted pregnancy. u,v realised that what u did was wrong, ask god 4 4givness. at 26 ur girl is old enough to know what is called protection and she should have enforced it even if u the man didn,t want it because she is the one that will get hurt mostly in the case of any mistakes. all the same keep pleading with her to give u another chance so that u can make it up to her, and please don,t let most of the post replies u r getting to weigh u down, most of them would have done same were they in ur shoes. |
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smileseal
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@ seun,
it's really shocking that you are of the opinion that girls should be ignored on their claims , again it shows the kind of person you are, I want to assume that you will do the same . It's a shame on you.
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cgift (m)
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some of you pople who has adviced can never make it as cousellors because you would hav added to th weight of someon who is already burdned. There is a way you tell someone h is a sinner without derogatory words. The @postr sounds like someone who is very soft at hart and gentle. He would make a good husband if you ask me but i pray the Lord forgives them and that the lady in qustion dos not develop complications in Jesus name.
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