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ozigbo (m)
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You na way get finance and girlfriend what of me way be divorce,
who i go con get joint account with.
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+osisi
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Is it just me, or does it seem like we have an issue of trust with a majoriy of Bros/Sis'in the diaspora?, [size=6pt][/size](please ignore that)
Why speak of love if there is no trust?, you can't love who you don't know, and if you don't trust who you do know, how can you love who you don't trust?
Why speak of love and crave ''índependence''?
How do you ''love'' with reservations?
, people,people, people,
Let us tell ourselves the truth, a lot of us enter into relationships and even marriage with everything else but love on our minds and in our hearts!
That is why this thread even exists, Central to this whole debate is the sublime question, do you trust your partner?
If you truly do, regardless of previous experience, firsthand or observed, you would not have reservations or hang ups about dependence.
Love in its true sense is interdependent. QED
I have a joint account with my wife, any thing other than that is really a form of infidelity. Sounds a bit absolute, but think about it for a moment, ask yourself, what are the things that should guide our most intimate relationships?
If complete openness, trust and interdependence are included in your list ( this is me being presumptious), then it stands to reason that anything that detracts from those elements is to some degree, infidelity.
I rest my case.
fa fa fa foul.  You can love your spouse and yet be careful with him or her. Some men (and women) are not very financially responsible so woe is that responsible spouse that'll be forced to join all his or her funds together in a financial matrimony if I agree with your principle. This may work for you but may not work for everyone. Thank God I have a husband who is financially stable and able. He pays 80% of the bills and I'm taken care of glory to God the issue of joint account has never ever come up. and I'm happy just the way things are. That's not to say joint accounts are evil but then it's not a one size fits all. |
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uchetobi (f)
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seun please put a poll for this topic
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$$Rhino
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osisi, for a man like me that has no idea how to spend, i rather have my woman take care of the finance of the home, and i blv that the money is no more mine, but that of the household
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warfarian (m)
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i kno 1 man for my village, when in marry this girl, no b say btter marry oh, I'm kom go buy 1 better fridge with the woman name, as them get small quereel na I'm the woman say na she get the fridge, say she wan carry am, the man say na lie, the woman saay make them c the receipt, and na her name dey there
when there is true love in a family, anytin can happen
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pterygott (f)
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Serious bad idea
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PTH (m)
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osisi, for a man like me that has no idea how to spend, i rather have my woman take care of the finance of the home, and i blv that the money is no more mine, but that of the household
@ Rhino, you just may be me in disguise. |
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$$Rhino
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warfarian, i think we are all looking at this realy wrong, no home is perfect and no home is bad, however, i think we all ave some animals in us and when that animal want to get fed, they come out and asked for food, and every human is alowed few minutes of madness in a day, Now let me give you a scenerio.
A ghanian man in canada married a nigerian woman, wonderful couple, the man has a bad credit and the woman has a good one, so they bought a house with the man's money ofcourse, because they woman don't work, she is a stay home Mom, don't get me wrong, staying home with kids is a full time Job and kudos to them mothers like that, however, after few years, things turn sour as the man had an accident at work and couldnt work for a while, he is on disabilities, however, that can't pay for the expensese of the home and still take care of the 2 kids they have ( 1 boy together, the other from the previous relationship of the nija woman), now the woman is forced to go and work, the stress and the frustration, one day made the woman to say " you foolish Ghana Man, i am done, she left the house and came back with 5 police men that she is not safe in the home with the man, so the man was sent out of the house, meanwhile remember that the woman's name is what is on the house as the owner, the guy left to stay with friends and came home one day to get some stuff n da home, the woman has packed all in the house, i mean all, and now she is being sturborn as to selling the house, because she is claiming to be the owner.
The man keep his kool and so calm, because he blves that as long as the kids are living in the house, he is satisfied, it is not an easy conclusion, but sometimes, we ave to learn to look at things from a long term angle anf not just about what we can gain as individual.
Se O.J. Simpson, i am sure things would have been different, if he let go
When marriage is sweet, let us enjoy it, and when it turns sour, let us learn from it and be a better person
Na wetin i sabi, I am just Rhino
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$$Rhino
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PTH, i respect that my guy
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+osisi
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warfarian, i think we are all looking at this realy wrong, no home is perfect and no home is bad, however, i think we all ave some animals in us and when that animal want to get fed, they come out and asked for food, and every human is alowed few minutes of madness in a day, Now let me give you a scenerio.
A ghanian man in canada married a nigerian woman, wonderful couple, the man has a bad credit and the woman has a good one, so they bought a house with the man's money ofcourse, because they woman don't work, she is a stay home Mom, don't get me wrong, staying home with kids is a full time Job and kudos to them mothers like that, however, after few years, things turn sour as the man had an accident at work and couldnt work for a while, he is on disabilities, however, that can't pay for the expensese of the home and still take care of the 2 kids they have ( 1 boy together, the other from the previous relationship of the nija woman), now the woman is forced to go and work, the stress and the frustration, one day made the woman to say " you foolish Ghana Man, i am done, she left the house and came back with 5 police men that she is not safe in the home with the man, so the man was sent out of the house, meanwhile remember that the woman's name is what is on the house as the owner, the guy left to stay with friends and came home one day to get some stuff n da home, the woman has packed all in the house, i mean all, and now she is being sturborn as to selling the house, because she is claiming to be the owner.
The man keep his kool and so calm, because he blves that as long as the kids are living in the house, he is satisfied, it is not an easy conclusion, but sometimes, we ave to learn to look at things from a long term angle anf not just about what we can gain as individual.
Se O.J. Simpson, i am sure things would have been different, if he let go
When marriage is sweet, let us enjoy it, and when it turns sour, let us learn from it and be a better person
Na wetin i sabi, I am just Rhino
what a bad women. no wonder some men return with a loaded pistol |
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Siena
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As long as it's more about saving a relationship, rather than money.
Money's so material, a marriage isn't.
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nuzo (m)
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I seriously recommend joint account for couples that feel it suit's them.
As for me, I'm seriously planning on signing a pre-nuptials with whoever will be my wife; no matter how much i love and trust her.
I just don't think joint account is all about how much love and trust you have for your spouse.
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$$Rhino
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@osisi, no wonder we have books like " if i did it" |
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elsirich
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I think the best approach is for both parties (married couples) to have both account (joint and individual account depending on how much they both earn).
Joint=50 % of individual salary,goes in there for basically for the upkeep of the family, paying of bills and going into investment if the family wishes to.
Individual=50% for personel purpose to avoid unwanted questions from each other and stuffs like that."It also take maturity and diplomacy for two married individual to live happily even as a family".
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+osisi
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@osisi, no wonder we have books like " if i did it" abi o |
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+osisi
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@ siena for a man who's just engaged and not married,you are well ahead of some married men by what you say. what a blessed woman she is I wish you well. abeg keep educating these young 'uns It looks like some are already acknowledging what you say. Thank God david AKA PTH is listening  |
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Ralvy (m)
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JOINT ACCOUNT WITH MA SPOUSE  RISKY |
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Prince77
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Imagine,joint with my spouse that is bad of things. I will not do that.
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BABEELOVE (f)
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Sorry? Joint wetin???----Please I believe in mine, yours and ours! At least 3 operational accounts. Love me independence too much!
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omoge (f)
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do you think that 50% type from each is fair or will work when one is earning more than the other? let's say one brings home 5000 naira or dollars and contribute 2500 then the other brings home 3000 naira or dollars and contribute 1500 to me it is not fair at all. the only way the style is good is if they are earning the same amount. yes Osisi, i like the way you both did it. there are men and there are men, you get one ojare. not all the other kind ''bring me your paycheck/i can't wait for you to start paying the bills'' type of men . when they toast you heaven and earth, you will know from their attitude that they are in for the money you will bring in the future  |
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$$Rhino
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Naija people and money, the thing wey money go cause, i swear, money no go fit handle am ohhhhh
owo, money, kudi, i hail all una oh.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, love me but leave my money alone, kai, i salute una, what happen to what i have is urs and what yu have is mine, till death do us path, i guess, what you have"aprat from my money" is yours, till death do us path.
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BABEELOVE (f)
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In your dreams!
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+osisi
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Money is always a source of wahala between spouses,siblings and friends.
If the individuals are happier keeping their funds seperate and dividing the bills let them do so.
It's not fair for any one party to insist they poll their money together.
I'll be highly suspicious of a man that'll hound me continuosly day and night about a joint account.
I'll even be more careful if he gives me passages of scripture to support his argument.
No one needs to be pressured into something they are not comfortable doing.
I have heard of many a married women that leave the matrimonial penniless when katakata bursts.
Especially in Nigeria where the man owns the home and all the property,she can be traded in for a younger wife in a flash and she packs home to her parents.
People should be wise.
I'm not saying go into marriage planning for a divorce but go into it with a load of common sense.
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BABEELOVE (f)
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Money is always a source of wahala between spouses,siblings and friends.
If the individuals are happier keeping their funds seperate and dividing the bills let them do so.
It's not fair for any one party to insist they poll their money together.
I'll be highly suspicious of a man that'll hound me continuosly day and night about a joint account.
I'll even be more careful if he gives me passages of scripture to sopport his argument.
No one needs to be pressured into something they are not comfortable doing.
I have heard of many a married women that leave the matrimonial penniless when katakata bursts.
Especially in Nigeria where the man owns the home and all the property,she can be traded in for a younger wife in a flash and she packs home to her parents.
People should be wise.
I'm not saying go into marriage planning for a divorce but go into it with a load of common sense.
+osisi I beg jump gimme hi five!!!!! Na you talk am!!!  |
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G-money (m)
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Assumption:
1. You are married.
2. Joint account means 'having legal and authorized access to each other's accounts whether or not you spend from it or being co-owners of accounts"
I think:
If you are married and you can't have a joint account due to trust, You are in the same category with 'pre-nup' folks; No real oneness, trust or openness. Love is not all that is needed to be in a relationship. Trust at times, can be even more needed than love. At least, I know you won't make your wife a beneficiary of your life insurance if you didn't trust her. Extreme example, you would say. But how can you attempt to live the rest of your life with someone you don't trust or cannot be open to? Just because you love him/her? Think again! As you get older, trust is going to be one of the major catalysts that keeps your love burning. Gba be.
Well, what about if the wife/husband is a shopping freak? Spends money unnecessarily? Hmmmm. I can't really answer that one. I just think you should respect each other enough to agree on your spending.
Furthermore it works out better for your family if you pass on without a WILL or if you lose consciousness and there are hospital bills which your spouse cannot cope with. He/She will readily have access.
Having said all that, if you just want your own unshared account despite trusting your partner, fine. If you want it because you want to be independent? Wrong! Marriage is about dependency; not the other way around.
If you are single, you don't really need a joint account in my opinion. Not unless you are 100% sure that you guys will be getting married. And there's no 100% until "you may now kiss the bride".
I saw the note about the naija dudes looking for medical professionals, That is an example of folks that you cannot trust. Smell the coffee and you won't have to be with them.
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uchetobi (f)
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The combination (in the poll) sounds good
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ussyman
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They say "Financial issues brings about 70% of divorces all over the world ". I think the must important aspect is for both of you to have same 'financial pyshe' It doesn't matter wheaather u operate single or joint account.
So when u r searching make you go for someone that operate at the same financial frequency as you. To me ,this is even more critical than the 'chemistry'.
I appreciate other people view as well.
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ussyman
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You know,some people love shopping while others love saving/investment and that's where most of the probs comes from. You can't be at different poles(hemishere) and expect to see each other.
Try to understand your other partners finacial perspective before you make any decision.
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Rukkyj (f)
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Why run a joint acount in naija when we know anything can happen. It is better to run joint accounts on capital project as someone had rightly posted. If not everyone to your account and then you can do all that you want to do without having to follow due processes if you know what I mean.
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benit (f)
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You could have separate accounts and still do financial planning together
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osereka (m)
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joint account with my wifey, is like
me and my wifey using the same handset
I will not succumb to that
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