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SwtNsoFLyy (f)
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I met who I thought was the most wonderful man who lives in Port Harcourt, Nigeria. Man of God, saying all the right things, has really good goals in life. I wanted to make sure that I was not stepping in to some oother lady's "territory:, and asked if he had some one significant in his life? He told me that there was no one significant in his life, so my smile was endless, as he showed interest in return. We begain talking on yahoo messenger, telephone calls sometimes, and text messaging, and i was growing more and more in love. Until, it all came to a painful stop today. 
Yesterday. I asked him again, to please be honest ,because i was was afraid of getting hurt, but is there really someone or not? He told me about a 'friend' from Lagos. with no detail, i naturally got upset, as he never mentioned her before, we became as close as we had. We did not go into detail of the 'friend', but this morning,I wanted to know where he stood with her, or if it was going anywhere. And he replied, that he loves her. The story goes on and on, but I am the type of woman that i can not add insult to injury, as well, I have the kind of respect for my sisters that, I will step out of the picture, if you were there before i came about. I am not angry at him, at all ,because i was in love, tho I did basically let him know that as a respect for myself, and the other lady, I ask that he understand my position as there is no way a Man of GOd in my life, can possible love 2 women the same, without someone getting hurt,
and that someone just happens to be me.
He still proclaims to love me, but those words somehow seem to pierce my heart as if he is just putting a dagger in and twisting it, When will he understand the level of pain he's caused, and when the phone calls and false 'love' end?
love & light,
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niceuzor
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Another Heartbreak TOpic Again!!!  Ok let's See if we can ammend this One!!  |
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SwtNsoFLyy (f)
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well, i most certainly would appreciate any insight. I am in US and he is in Nigeria, and thought that I had finally found the man that I've dreamed of for years, hopefully some of the guys and ladies can give their warm input, because i sure do need it,
I'm going to be ok tho, just don't understand people's motives sometimes,
love & light,
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Gamine (f)
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ooh ooh eyahh I'm so sorryy |
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niceuzor
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Gamine - Haba just Sorry !!!
let's try and help her Out!!! i don't think sorry will solve
her problem!!!
Who's Next!!
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tukur2002n (m)
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shit happens Big sis, but that can never be the end of the world you know. "You will never be called a failure until you quit trying", i understand hw you feel but i can tell you that there are better Nigerians too who are not like your Nigeria Lover. focus your energy on the best for now while you get back on track peace and love u.  |
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d_chosen1 (m)
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@swtNsoflyy come on now, u don't have to be discouraged and heart broken,all things work together for good u need to dust yourself up and try again.Hit me up 234-7030079719, i know of a professional (a young lady) that can work on ur Psychic  |
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king-jaja (m)
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@ poster,
don't worry, there are other guys better than him which you can choose from. life goes on no matter what. heartbreak happens everyday but surely what goes around comes around. the guy that broke your heart would also have his heart broken by another girl, and then he would remember what wrong he did to you. trust me, i'm talking from experience.
Forget about the jerk he is not worth your love!
guys are plenty on earth and u can choose whom you would like to be with.
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olanajim (m)
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@poster
first, I diagree 'weakly' with you that the guy had hurt you even though you are hurt. I think you are 'lucky' to have that kind of guy. His being a man of God must have been the reason for your luck. He truly love you!
Men of God don't operate the way we generally do. He might love you truly while the 'holy spirit' tells him that his union with you can't work. It may be spiritual. I don't know, so I would not jump at conclusion. I hope he had not been 'eating your pie'? 'because men of God don't fornicate.
If he were to be mean, he could have played you for longer time and dump you when you least expect it. He may have some reasons why he could not tell you earlier. I think you should let him go if he want to go. Don't mourn him. You might get someone better. Meanwhile maintain friendship with him. You never can tell, he might be lying about the lagos girl.
Everything depend on your age and experience.
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SwtNsoFLyy (f)
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Thank you ALL so kindly for your input, it means soo much. Turker, ur always there 4 big sis, and i appreciate it little bruh ,
@Olanajim,, big question 4 for you good Sir, if you don't mind please,
I understand what u are saying, only not the 'weakly' disagreement part, so much. I was hurt, because it just al seem to fall in place perfectly, in Gods Will for both of us, sharing the same vision of our mission in life,
Why, if he is the man of God that he said he is, would he lie about a Logos girl? Could you please explain to me, a small 'christian lie", if this is what u mean, andwhat is the purpose for this? Is it to laff at me? I am very sensitive when it comes to matters of my heart, and I said those 3 words to him. ONly after I open up, and I ask, is when he shared to care. Why then? Why not before? just doesn't seem fair, as I have never cheated on anyone in my life, and respect others relationships, so it puts me in an uncomfortable position, I can't disrespect myself like that, so if it was a lie,, he has caused a lack of trust between us,
No he hasn't eaten any of my sweet pie, for 3 reasons. He's In Nigeria & I in the States. I am cellibate for most of 10 years now,, and he is a virgin. I am trying NOT to mourn him, tho sleep is not easy,, and i still think of him and waste my days doing so.
Its not a matter of letting him go, if he wants to go, he doesnt want to go., and now understands why I don't pick his calls. I have agreed to be only friends, nothing more. Its too much for me right now, Continuing on in such a case, has landed me nowhere but in a valley of pain, in the past. I told him, theres no need to ask me to forgive him for anything, because there is nothing to forgive a bout him loving another woman. Love is a beautiful thing, tho, I just have to take my proper place, and back out respectfully , Tho, words can not be taken back, if you say u love someone, u love them. Why would a man dance around with his words after the fact?
I don't understand how u can't see that this could hurt,
thanks all for you input so kindly,
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olanajim (m)
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Let me say that I am sorry, very sorry, if my words caused you more pains after you read them. I quite understand your stand and I had always be an advocate of sincerity.
What I mean by saying you are lucky is that, some guys out there might have kept the fact away from you even when you ask million times. I don't know why he didn't tell you about his Lagos girl. I think he probably know you would leave after knowing of her. That is his undoing.
Your case is not as serious as you painted it. Under normal circumstance, you should be grateful that he was honest about it. If you are in the US and he in Naija, he obviously told you on phone or online. His disclosure, though late is not bad at all. It is good. It is encouraging. That he is a virgin, according to you (if it is true) indicate that he was not sleeping with the girl in question. That he was begging you in spite of that mistake also show that something is going on in his mind. You are not heartbroken, my dear. When I compare your case with what I have seen and read, I must confess, you are supposed to be grateful to God who made him reveal that to you. The proper word for your case is DISAPPOINTMENT not HEARTBREAK. You have not got to the level.
Consider, you are already planning your wedding and the story leaks that your man is sleeping around with a particular girl. Is that what you prefer? If not, then, any timely revealation should be appreciated and not condemned. The man may still be weighing his emotion, if that is so, then you are hasty in your decision. Otherwise, I would support your decision to call it quit.
A sound of warning to you, though. IF YOU GET ANOTHER GUY THAT WANT YOU DESPERATELY, DON'T BE SURPRISE THAT HE HIDE TRUTHs FROM YOU AFTER HEARING OF THIS INCIDENCE. The new man would simply shut up to let the sleeping dog lie! Don't make an issue out of the current disappointment. Learn to put your emotional sensitivity in check. Take heart and live on. You can be happier than this.
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olanajim (m)
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Let me say that I am sorry, very sorry, if my words caused you more pains after you read them. I quite understand your stand and I had always be an advocate of sincerity.
What I mean by saying you are lucky is that, some guys out there might have kept the fact away from you even when you ask million times. I don't know why he didn't tell you about his Lagos girl. I think he probably know you would leave after knowing of her. That is his undoing.
Your case is not as serious as you painted it. Under normal circumstance, you should be grateful that he was honest about it. If you are in the US and he in Naija, he obviously told you on phone or online. His disclosure, though late is not bad at all. It is good. It is encouraging. That he is a virgin, according to you (if it is true) indicate that he was not sleeping with the girl in question. That he was begging you in spite of that mistake also show that something is going on in his mind. You are not heartbroken, my dear. When I compare your case with what I have seen and read, I must confess, you are supposed to be grateful to God who made him reveal that to you. The proper word for your case is DISAPPOINTMENT not HEARTBREAK. You have not got to the level.
Consider, you are already planning your wedding and the story leaks that your man is sleeping around with a particular girl. Is that what you prefer? If not, then, any timely revealation should be appreciated and not condemned. The man may still be weighing his emotion, if that is so, then you are hasty in your decision. Otherwise, I would support your decision to call it quit.
A sound of warning to you, though. IF YOU GET ANOTHER GUY THAT WANT YOU DESPERATELY, DON'T BE SURPRISE THAT HE HIDE TRUTHs FROM YOU AFTER HEARING OF THIS INCIDENCE. The new man would simply shut up to let the sleeping dog lie! Don't make an issue out of the current disappointment. Learn to put your emotional sensitivity in check. Take heart and live on. You can be happier than this.
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iice (f)
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Hmmm! Have you met the guy? If not, you try o! This falling without meeting the person, i tire!
I remember reading, you said you are trusting by natureas we nigerians often sayShine your eye!
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godslead (f)
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@ lice true talk. @post thank God he even told u because d eairlier d better. Bt I still can't understand hw u fell 4 him without even seeing him. Well as dey said people are different. what did u expect from him, commitment?  |
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SwtNsoFLyy (f)
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not expect commitment, but if was or is meant to be, I am sure that would happen in any event. People often say, how can you trust or love someone you have never met? Just the same, as I fully trust and love Our father God who I (or any believer) have never met. Loving his heart, soul & vision that mirrored my own. I am willing to believe that God will prevail more truth behind my own 'dissapointment' or misunderstanding, in due time. As he has told me, whatever God has ordained, will surely come to pass, and it will be very soon. Due to my work, I know it will be soon. So really, Olanajim was correct, in saying that I have no serious case,
@Olanajim. Of all the words I have read, yours have convicted me the most,, as I do feel God's power shining truth on all that you have said. You are definately a vessel of the lord, and I'm glad that I have the gift to recognize this, My 'dissapointment' has been properly address,, & question satisfactory answered,
I feel at eased now,, because of everyone's input, as you have made my 'eyes shine' as I opened them, God. o' God bless all,
love & light,
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godslead (f)
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Its good to know ur eyes are shining now.  God bless u too. |
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SwtNsoFLyy (f)
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Thank u mamma!!! my heart is shining and feeling good now too,
gotta love it !!!
peace,
ps. u know how silly us gurls can be sometimes. LOL,
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godslead (f)
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Ya I kw hw so silly we can @ times. Anyways Thank God 4 God. |
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olanajim (m)
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We are very happy for you. We rejoice with you. When we share ideas and problems it surely help us toward the light.
I didn't agree with those who condemn long distance relationship though.
As for the guy, remain just friend with him and follow his next action though you should not lose your heart in it or any man again until you are sure he is what you want.
Let this experience rather widen your wisdom. God is never far away from His beloved.
Everything that had occured, everything that is occuring or will ever occur is the outward manifestation of your innermost thoughts, choices, and ideas and determinations regarding who you are. Who you choose to be. Condemn not, therefore those aspects of life with which you disagree. Seek instead to change them and the conditions that made them possible, Behold the darkness, yet curse it not rather be the light into the darkness and so transform it,
My heart bleeds when I see a beautiful relationship go sour (whatever the reason) and the victims of the broken relationship go ahead to live their life in perpetual bondage. Hating opposite gender, and holding tenaciously to the pessimistic view of life and every thing it had to offered.
That a man slip does not mean he should never walk again. The strongest man is not the one who had never been hurt. More often, the strongest man carry the scares that lead him to his strong position.
I believe, strongly in me that if you are positive, you would soon be vistited by joy of unimaginable proportion. Don't follow the path of those who after experiencing disappointment would never see anything good again. Be a good finder. For what you seek, you shall get.
Cheeeeer!
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SwtNsoFLyy (f)
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@Olanajim, agian, thank you for your words of wisdom, and I must agree whole heartedly with your signature. Keep representing as Naija's best. we need more wise men of your calibre representing Naija,as well the entire world. God continue to guide you,
love & light,
Natalia
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angola_g (m)
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@Poster
Why heart break?Loving some body does'nt not necessarily mean he or she is settling with her.If he truely loves yah,I bet you he will still want to be with you no matter what.Except you are beign possesive a sort of just for example.Let me ask u one question?How do u tend to know every thing about some one u have not meet before?
Ask him how seriouse he is with her Lagos gurl ok.good luck.And more over I can't even see any heart break here. he just opened up some part of life
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benlay (m)
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i congratulate u,u pressed him & he told u the truth,u should be happy,u can still amend ur status now,no 'crime' if u maintain contact wt him but it's not really advisable bc he might know ur weak point & hit u there 2 cover up. Be prayer & always be meticulous about next line of action. www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-74963.0.html |
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SwtNsoFLyy (f)
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@benlay ~ I am definately going to remain prayerful, as we have amended broken ends and remain best friends. He did ring me up at 3:00am, to say that he could not sleep, of which, I couldn't either. I spoke to his sister, , she and family was wandering what was wrong with him, acting sad and not able to eat,
@angola_g ! you are absolutely right. but, no, never possessive tho. Thats not my nature, and why i was willing to walk away, if there was something there before i came along. You know, we girls tend to feel a sense of doubt when we think it may be someone else in the picture,, just as some guys may feel same.
but. Getting to know one another is the blossoming beauty in all new relationships, It all boils down to what everyone said conclusively, ESPECIALLY Olanajim's input. Thank u guys soo much. Its definately a friendship worth building on. I can see it no other way,
love & light,
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angelchi (f)
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u r lucky he tld u,a full blooded Nigeria man would ve jus played his game wel n u wnt no anytin.
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angola_g (m)
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@Sofly
Hope you aint quiting because he told you something he might not be so seriouse about.You better watch your egos nd don't let that break you down.Be observant and know howz he is feeling these dayz.He might not be happy man again may he just want to be fair a little bit.After all body no be fire wood ooh.
Good Luck
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olanajim (m)
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Angelchi,
I disagree with your generalization. You made it look as if full blooded Nigerians are born liar. If you are a Nigerian, I am sorry to hear that kind of thing from fellow Nigerian. Pessimism will get you no where. Learn to seperate black from white, and you won't go astray.
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SwtNsoFLyy (f)
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@d_chosen1 ~ we have decided to remain good friend, tho it can be hard when u care, but yes, I do intend on maintaining hopes that the right man will find me, vs vice versa. Whatever God has in store, I'm waiting on, I agree with Olanajim as usual. LOL. I don't think categorizing all Nigerian men is cool, same applies to men in general. There are some good men in this world,. Finding a good man is truly a hard task for a woman however,
love & light,
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Iskwew (f)
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Life is such a journey! Just because someone is seeing someone else, does not even mean it's the end unless u make it so. Love - it's such a complex thing. Being older, I have seen relationships of mine change and grow beyond just a romance. If you truly love your man, the love him, it may have to be a bit different from your romantic notions, but love knows no wrong. Responding to the poster who was saying a "full blooded naija man" will do his thang and no tell her, tsk tsk. I know many good, faithful, honest, hardworking naija men who would never do such to their wives and families. It's not all about chasing d skirt. It's just in d person. Now, if I can just find one single good naija man for mesef, it'll all b good! KEEP ON KEEPIN ON! |
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