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bookione
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Should a man marry a woman even if his parents didn't agree to it. On the other hand if someone's parents finds a wife for him should he marry the girl even if he is not inlove with her or should he say no to it. http://www. |
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$$Rhino
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I think it is better for the man to find a wife for himself, Bible says when a man find a good wife, never said when a man's parents find am iyawo, the man will be the one to live with the woman, so better to use ya own hand kill ya self.
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bookione
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I agree with you. Parents shouldn't be the one to select wives for their sons. It complicates issues because they will be expecting too much from the woman based on the fact that they are the ones that recommended her to marry their son. http://www. |
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francessby (f)
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It's improper for parents to find wives for there sons, what happens to love/affection,only those guys that are not man enough that can accept that.
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nuttyKachi (m)
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is it the parent that will live with the girl? can't marry someone you don't really know and love,the marriage wont last long
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coolier (f)
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Should a man marry a woman even if his parents didn't agree to it. "Words of wisdom", those are the words of our parents, and it's always good to heed their warnings. If parents don't agree to their son marrying a lady, I think the son should find a way to stop the relationship fast and not stubbornly go ahead to marry the lady - such marriages don't last. The parents must have seen, heard or stumble upon some facts about the lady or her family and don't the Yoruba's say again "oro agba bi o se l'owuro, bo pe titi a se lojo ale" - it's only a matter of time. On the other hand if someone's parents finds a wife for him should he marry the girl even if he is not inlove with her or should he say no to it. Do you know that in those days there is what is called 'arranged family weddings'. Most popular in the Northern Nigeria and also among the Ondo people in the south. Two close affluent families would, the moment they have both sex children, decide there and then they would be married when they grow up. The families also become in-laws immediately. And no matter where these children are raised, home or away, whether they've met or not, they know they have a wife/husband waiting for them somewhere. And when the time is right, they are married. I have seen arranged marriages like this work over and over again. But times are changing, and its changing with our custom and traditions, and most young men nowadays feel they have a right to decide for themselves. |
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lady bam (f)
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@ post FOR WHAT kwanu?  abi, the man blind |
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Godalone (m)
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If the guy is blind the answer is YES.
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jek_kad
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@ post FOR WHAT kwanu? abi, the man blind abi ooo |
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kufreabasi (m)
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Marriage they say is an institution.It is seen as a school of wisdom and learning for those that are rightly involved. It is also a life affair that needs to be entered in through a divine will and direction from God.The bible says ''for in this case shall a man leave his parent and cleave to his own wife and both of them shall become one''. It is not good and not adviseable for any father or mother to find wife for their son or husband for their daughter.Everybody has aright to carry his or her own cross, so that at any situation or conditons that may arises from their martrimonial home, be it good or bad,the parent will be free from it.
So it is not good for parent to find wife for their son.
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lucabrasi (m)
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i don't see anything wrong with parents finding a wife for their son,as long as he is allowed to make the final decision and not pressured,after all guys and girls tell their friends to hook them up with a guy or girl,the only diffrence3 in this case is that while your friend is hooking you up with a girlfriend,your mum/dad will hook u up with a friend's daughter all same thing
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kufreabasi (m)
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lucabrasi
you are still a baby.
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lucabrasi (m)
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why is that,tell me why its wrong instead of calling me a baby,either you like it or not you r still a baby as far as your parents are concerned
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Gamine (f)
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They should ooh!
because these days the Sons don't know what they want
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AEjiro (m)
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And the ladies do? yeh rite!!!
@post
Well, if all parties involved (the parent and the couple) sees notin wrong then who are we to disagree? my take is no one should be presssured to marry agaist their wish. At least, must of our parent whose oarents looked for wives for are still happpiliy married today. But like someone said time change, So i for one has chosen to change wit it so i am going to take my time to find whats mine (WIFE)
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lucabrasi (m)
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the indians and pakistanis do arranged marriages and they have the lowest divorce rates of all minorities and even whites, lowest crime rates and the sons are accomplished,independent in their chosen field of endeavours,ill rather marry a girl from my parents recommendation than marry a girl i met or got hooked up with by friends who s more or less a prostitute
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onyinye2 (f)
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the indians and pakistanis do arranged marriages and they have the lowest divorce rates of all minorities and even whites, lowest crime rates and the sons are accomplished,independent in their chosen field of endeavours,ill rather marry a girl from my parents recommendation than marry a girl i met or got hooked up with by friends who s more or less a prostitute
the reason why they have low divorce rates is because they believe strongly on family honor. so if a woman tries to divorce her arrange marriage with her husband, she has the possibility of being killed or disowned to restore that honor. |
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lucabrasi (m)
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the reason why they have low divorce rates is because they believe strongly on family honor. so if a woman tries to divorce her arrange marriage with her husband, she has the possibility of being killed or disowned to restore that honor.
that is not the only reason please don't generalize on negative perception,many of them do but the reason is because most of their arranged marriages actually strenghten both families and makes their family support network stronger,so if a couple have issues they have enough people to intervene before it gets to the stage of divorce,and they do not pretend to embrace western cultures when it conflicts with theirs |
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michelin89 (f)
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@ poster
Why don't they move directly to their matrimonial bed to teach him how to make love to his wife?
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onyinye2 (f)
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that is not the only reason please don't generalize on negative perception,many of them do but the reason is because most of their arranged marriages actually strenghten both families and makes their family support network stronger,so if a couple have issues they have enough people to intervene before it gets to the stage of divorce,and they do not pretend to embrace western cultures when it conflicts with theirs
recently in the state of Chicago, Illinois a Pakistani man murdered his own blood daughter just because she longer wanted to be married to her arranged husband. so don't tell me anything about strong families support. |
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michelin89 (f)
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that is not the only reason please don't generalize on negative perception,many of them do but the reason is because most of their arranged marriages actually strenghten both families and makes their family support network stronger,so if a couple have issues they have enough people to intervene before it gets to the stage of divorce,and they do not pretend to embrace western cultures when it conflicts with theirs
Who fcuking cares about their family support? They can rot in hell for all I care if it guarantees my happiness! |
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lucabrasi (m)
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recently in the state of Chicago, Illinois a Pakistani man murdered his own blood daughter just because she longer wanted to be married to her arranged husband. so don't tell me anything about strong families support.
that is why i said don't generalize,so because a lot of nigerians are yahoo yahoo,419ers does it mean we all are?i said in my reply many of them are but the fact remains that majority of them don't go out and murder their children or families,besides the asian community who do arranged marriages are broken into diffrent ethnic compartments the pakistanis are less perceptive to other cultures and more likely to do the honour killings,check the statistics and u ll see you ll rarely get indians doing so, so donth they have a strong family support?google it and see the marriage statistics and which of the minorities have the closest family network |
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lucabrasi (m)
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Who fcuking cares about their family support? They can rot in hell for all I care if it guarantees my happiness!
what r u on abou?? |
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michelin89 (f)
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what r u on abou??
Do you even realize the kind of crap you are saying? I bet you as well support child marriages since they never turn out in divorce. Imagine using a society where people are denied their most important human rights to justify a supposed happy situation! Tell me, i bet you also prefer a dictatorship to democracy then, right? |
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onyinye2 (f)
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that is why i said don't generalize,so because a lot of nigerians are yahoo yahoo,419ers does it mean we all are?i said in my reply many of them are but the fact remains that majority of them don't go out and murder their children or families,besides the asian community who do arranged marriages are broken into diffrent ethnic compartments the pakistanis are less perceptive to other cultures and more likely to do the honour killings,check the statistics and u ll see you ll rarely get indians doing so, so donth they have a strong family support?google it and see the marriage statistics and which of the minorities have the closest family network
most of these ladies arent even happy with their marriage. they just suffer in silence. and "the strong family support" you are talking about is just the women trying to convince the young lady that there is no way out so just bear it. |
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chamotex (m)
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hahahahha, my parents can't even try it
they know me too well,
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lucabrasi (m)
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Do you even realize the kind of crap you are saying? I bet you as well support child marriages since they never turn out in divorce. Imagine using a society where people are denied their most important human rights to justify a supposed happy situation! Tell me, i bet you also prefer a dictatorship to democracy then, right?
sorry but is this the way you address people normally?read through your comments and see how rude they are,u can't use insults to force your reasoning on people,now to your comment firt of if you read my very first comment on this thread,i said its cool if the guy gets to make the final choice the guy being the operative phrase because the poster said wives for their"son"not daughter or children,you are having an idea of arranged marriage as the quiet,illiterate,naive girl brought from the village to marry,some are like that but the mordern form and what many indians do is actually the modern form where parents liase and network with each other through aquintances,friends and the community to look for the guy in questions idea girl,when they fingd the idea girl,they talk to her parents who in turn ask her what she thinks of the guy,if she s up for it,they go out on a date and report back to their families,in that sort of scenario if they end up together both families have been involved right from the start,and so not only do the guy and the girl get the preferences they have requested for in an ideal partner they ll have cut out the trial and error dating game,the awkard dates when u don't know how far to ask or say and strenghtened their families,tell me who s unhappy and whose human rights have been trampled on |
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lucabrasi (m)
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most of these ladies arent even happy with their marriage. they just suffer in silence. and "the strong family support" you are talking about is just the women trying to convince the young lady that there is no way out so just bear it.
well i don't know about the united states,the indians i am familiar with here in the uk have a say in choosing,the only thing their parents do is to ask the girl what she wants and they start searching amongst their community,same thing they ask the guy and he tells them what he wants,then when a likely match is met,they hook them up,contrary to popular perception,these girls are highly educated,independent young women, from my experience of uk press they try to demonise these people and their cultures, like i said earlier of course there are many who are suffering in silence but very many of them willingly submit to it and actually want it,we do it in nigeria as well and like i said as long as the guy is allowed to choose without pressures and likewise the girl then i don't see anything wrong with it,the positives far outweight the negatives, if they were being forced,how many asian have u seen marrying a black person? |
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michelin89 (f)
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sorry but is this the way you address people normally?read through your comments and see how rude they are,u can't use insults to force your reasoning on people,now to your comment firt of if you read my very first comment on this thread,i said its cool if the guy gets to make the final choice the guy being the operative phrase because the poster said wives for their"son"not daughter or children,you are having an idea of arranged marriage as the quiet,illiterate,naive girl brought from the village to marry,some are like that but the mordern form and what many indians do is actually the modern form where parents liase and network with each other through aquintances,friends and the community to look for the guy in questions idea girl,when they fingd the idea girl,they talk to her parents who in turn ask her what she thinks of the guy,if she s up for it,they go out on a date and report back to their families,in that sort of scenario if they end up together both families have been involved right from the start,and so not only do the guy and the girl get the preferences they have requested for in an ideal partner they ll have cut out the trial and error dating game,the awkard dates when u don't know how far to ask or say and strenghtened their families,tell me who s unhappy and whose human rights have been trampled on
I'll read your essay some other time. *yawnnnnn* |
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lucabrasi (m)
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I'll read your essay some other time.
*yawnnnnn*
i understand your plight, its an intelectual discourse |
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michelin89 (f)
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I have finally read it, or tried to read it. Well, I didn't understand what you were trying to say but I'll comment the little I caught.
Nor be only naive, illiterates and village girls are tricked into arranged marriage. Any act that isn't your will is bound to fail if it depended solely on you without external influences. You may see those couples from Pakistan and other Arab countries together, smiling in public but do you know what really goes on in their homes? I can't prove they are unhappy, just like you can prove they are satisfied, therefore I have every right, just like you, to say that arrange marriages are nothing but a way to secure the parents' interests. Their children's happiness is the last thing they think of because they always take it for granted that the child is happy when the family is happy.
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lucabrasi (m)
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well its not my fault if you don't understand or couldnt read it,all i know is that i v not made any grammartical errors so the inability to read it is with yourself
arranged marriage has evolved into a modern phenomenon in the asian community,its no more about forcing people to marry,its about educated,independent,focused male and female asian professionals in every field who are looking to settle down with someone of their ethnicity but have no time to do the whole trial and error search and gets their parents involved,i am educated and independent in every sense and i don't live in nigeria and so are many nigerians guys and girls,if we decide that we don't want to marry a white or non nigerian yet we can't meet a nigerian partner that ticks all our boxes if parents get involved and working by the kind of partner we want they come through wheres the negative in that?the statistics prove it is a sucess and looking for partners on our own is not as sucessful,just by looking at the dating section on here and also the diffrent experiences of heart aches/broken relationships on here shows that arranged marriage is better
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