Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?

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Date: October 11, 2008, 05:56 PM
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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Family  |  Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
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Author Topic: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?  (Read 510 views)
michelin89 (f)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #32 on: July 11, 2008, 10:26 PM »

Quote from: lucabrasi on July 11, 2008, 05:26 PM
well its not my fault if you don't understand or couldnt read it,all i know is that i v not made any grammartical errors so the inability to read it is with yourself
arranged marriage has evolved into a modern phenomenon in the asian community. its no more about forcing people to marry,its about educated,independent,focused male and female asian professionals in every field who are looking to settle down with someone of their ethnicity but have no time to do the whole trial and error search and gets their parents involved,i am educated and independent in every sense and i don't live in nigeria and so are many nigerians guys and girls,if we decide that we don't want to marry a white or non nigerian yet we can't meet a nigerian partner that ticks all our boxes if parents get involved and working by the kind of partner we want they come through wheres the negative in that?the statistics prove it is a sucess and looking for partners on our own is not as sucessful,just by looking at the dating section on here and also the diffrent experiences of heart aches/broken relationships on here shows that arranged marriage is better

Do you know we have something called punctuation marks? Full stop, comma, hyphen, dash, exclamation mark, question mark etc--- Your posts are hard to read is it better this way?.

1. Darling, you use a capital letter to start a new sentence.
2. Comma isn't the only existing punctuation mark
3. At a point you need to put a full stop to your sentence and start a new one.

4. Who do you think need some English classes between us?
Gold*Finch (m)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #33 on: July 12, 2008, 08:27 PM »

@post
I'm sure hell would not be going out looking for a husband for my son(s).

Them no get leg?

I can approve or disapprove after they've found her
lucabrasi (m)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #34 on: July 12, 2008, 10:11 PM »

Quote from: michelin89 on July 11, 2008, 10:26 PM
Do you know we have something called punctuation marks? Full stop, comma, hyphen, dash, exclamation mark, question mark etc--- Your posts are usually so confused.

1. Darling, you use a capital letter to start a new sentence.
2. Comma isn't the only existing punctuation mark
3. At a point you need to put a full stop to your sentence and start a new one.

4. Who do you think need some English classes between us?
awrite i see,thanks a lot for correcting my punctuations and all that its normally cause i don't really take a great deal of care when I'm on forums or social networks because its informal and I'm not out to please anybody neither is it a school work,now to your sentence
"your posts are usually so confused"
my posts are written by me and are not living beings,so they can't be confused,the correct sentence is "your posts are usually so confusing"
sweetheart hope you ll correct that yourself too Grin
as for my style of writing,show me where i have written an incorrect sentence,and ill gladly correct it and you should take care to check your sentences as well so theres no hidden bullet,syntax errors on an informal forum is still forgivable Smiley
michelin89 (f)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #35 on: July 13, 2008, 02:09 PM »

Quote from: lucabrasi on July 12, 2008, 10:11 PM
awrite i see,thanks a lot for correcting my punctuations and all that its normally cause i don't really take a great deal of care when I'm on forums or social networks because its informal and I'm not out to please anybody neither is it a school work,now to your sentence
"your posts are usually so confused"
my posts are written by me and are not living beings,so they can't be confused,the correct sentence is "your posts are usually so confusing"
sweetheart hope you ll correct that yourself too Grin
as for my style of writing,show me where i have written an incorrect sentence,and ill gladly correct it and you should take care to check your sentences as well so theres no hidden bullet,syntax errors on an informal forum is still forgivable Smiley


No problem! I'll do that!
blackular
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #36 on: July 13, 2008, 02:11 PM »

Thats an 18th century question because the answer is NO
naijabuai
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #37 on: August 21, 2008, 01:03 PM »

Gosh!!! thats a bad thing, the man is not blind, its an institution a man gotta open hin eye well.
$$Rhino
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #38 on: August 21, 2008, 01:10 PM »

Sometimes it cld be a good thing, because there are some guys out there that have no idea what is good for them, so for such men, YES, but for other men that has their heads screwed well to their neck, Mama and Papa should stay out it and let them make their choice.
lucabrasi (m)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #39 on: August 21, 2008, 01:53 PM »

Quote from: $$Rhino on August 21, 2008, 01:10 PM
Sometimes it cld be a good thing, because there are some guys out there that have no idea what is good for them, so for such men, YES, but for other men that has their heads screwed well to their neck, Mama and Papa should stay out it and let them make their choice.
yea right and thats why there are more than triple or more rates of divorce these days than in the old days
thats why most men or women don't do adequate researches into their prospective partner's families before marriage

at least its working for the indians,how has it worked for the white man or the average dude "who supposedly has his head screwed on to their necks"seeing as they have left their parents out of it and married their choice how come the rate of divorce in the rest of theworld is going up while amongst the indians,chinese is stagnant or even going down in some cases??
how come the old school parents rarely divorce but sort things out amongst themselves
$$Rhino
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #40 on: August 21, 2008, 03:33 PM »

Quote from: lucabrasi on August 21, 2008, 01:53 PM
yea right and thats why there are more than triple or more rates of divorce these days than in the old days
thats why most men or women don't do adequate researches into their prospective partner's families before marriage

at least its working for the indians,how has it worked for the white man or the average dude "who supposedly has his head screwed on to their necks"seeing as they have left their parents out of it and married their choice how come the rate of divorce in the rest of theworld is going up while amongst the indians,chinese is stagnant or even going down in some cases??
how come the old school parents rarely divorce but sort things out amongst themselves

That is simply because:
1~~ in the old days, the women don't eevn work, so they depends on the man for everything, now some babes ave more money than the husband sef, we have more stay home dada now than then.
2~~it is almost like a taboo then fro the woman to leave the husband house, because when they do, they will have to go back to their mama and papa's house, not now, the babe also have her own house, before she married u and have her own money
3~~ the mothers will stay even when they are not happy, because of the kids, but now, the kids will be the one to beg the mother to leave, because home without happiness is iraqi with talibans.
4~~women are not even aloud to talk then, but now, women are respected and even more judge now in da court of law are ladies.
 if you want more, i cld continue, all i am saying is that, time has changed and we can't compare those times and this time together.
lucabrasi (m)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #41 on: August 21, 2008, 03:43 PM »

I'm not disputing all these but not all marriages in the old days went along these lines u just bullet pointed,the fact is that what makes most marriages crumble is people not willing to work issues out,if parents were involved right from the beginning then your wife or husbandwill think twice before doing some things and will also think twice before i.e beating the wife,cheating e.t.c

you say the world has moved on and i say to you that,the institution of marriage has lost its appeal since the old days when things were done diffrently true or false?if true then doesnt that say who is right or wrong?
$$Rhino
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #42 on: August 21, 2008, 04:47 PM »

Quote from: lucabrasi on August 21, 2008, 03:43 PM
I'm not disputing all these but not all marriages in the old days went along these lines u just bullet pointed,the fact is that what makes most marriages crumble is people not willing to work issues out,if parents were involved right from the beginning then your wife or husbandwill think twice before doing some things and will also think twice before i.e beating the wife,cheating e.t.c

you say the world has moved on and i say to you that,the institution of marriage has lost its appeal since the old days when things were done diffrently true or false?if true then doesnt that say who is right or wrong?

I kind of agreed with you, but how could a man always running to mama and papa when he and his wife is having a prob, likewise, how cld a woman learn how to be a wife, when she has to run home to mama at all times, and not all mothers have a good advice, so it is important that the man and the woman are able to handle their wahala, except if it is out of hand
komekn (m)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #43 on: August 21, 2008, 05:32 PM »

Using Asians and Indians as an example you will find that a lot of these guys and their wives fall into the high income bracket.(Rhino your comments on dependancy) The issue is more about value system and religious restriction and acceptance as well as the rejection of the western model. 

I find that we are so quick to adopt all things western in the name of being upwardly mobile and progressive. In the UK I find our people have become more oyibo than the oyibos, rejecting substance for superficial sentimentality based on the lust of media imagery, basically rejecting the real for the make believe.   

When a man seeks his companion based on the size of her bust and behind then what do you get a house of sand when the wind blows it wall fall. Consider women that seek men on the ability to have a 6pack and enough £££ and or plus prominence in the bedroom what do you get, flesh X flesh and no substance, it will fade and collapse.

I am not saying these things do not have their place, but in the scheme of things they are not the first consideration.  What happened to integrity, honour, truth, righteousness, the ability to be a man, a husband, a father not a Bobo and of course the fear of God.

In a nutshell values are all twisted; we have replaced true love for lust. Nuff said.

Abraham sent his servant to seek a wife for his son, so it has biblical foundation so  if my father who being led of God(HOLY SPIRIT) were to present a wife to me I would definitely 100% consider it. In my opinion I think it’s a good thing please, I am not advocating forced marriage. All parents should do this, so that some of us who cannot see for ourselves, can have those who truly, truly, love you seek and see for you. (assuming they can see properly, cause some parents are blind) Grin Shocked Grin Shocked
olukemih
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #44 on: August 22, 2008, 01:21 PM »

If a parent object about a lady you intend, ask them why.

I believe they have good reasons that you may not see.

But you don't have to marry their propose girl for you

because you are to find your wife yourself to obtain favour from God                   

and not the other way round

All the best.

Cheers
$$Rhino
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #45 on: August 22, 2008, 01:23 PM »

Quote from: olukemih on August 22, 2008, 01:21 PM
If a parent object about a lady you intend, ask them why.

I believe they have good reasons that you may not see.

But you don't have to marry their propose girl for you

because you are to find your wife yourself to obtain favour from God

and not the other way round

All the best.

Cheers

Well said, however, most parents feel threatened when questioned, but time has changed, when we need to question and get answers.
onyinye2 (f)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #46 on: August 22, 2008, 01:28 PM »

@post

No, because i don't want to find my husband through his mother nor father. I want to be the girl he chooses. I want to know that he wants me because he chose me out of all the other women.
Brash! (m)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #47 on: August 22, 2008, 01:29 PM »

what kind of rubbish is that?
anyway i trust my parents! Grin
komekn (m)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #48 on: August 22, 2008, 04:55 PM »

Onyinye,
Some people are drinking milk, some deh chop meat and others are cracking bone, onyinye you still deh drink milk – no vex , with time you will leave the milk, I pray. Shocked Grin
onyinye2 (f)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #49 on: August 22, 2008, 04:58 PM »

Quote from: komekn on August 22, 2008, 04:55 PM
Onyinye,
Some people are drinking milk, some deh chop meat and others are cracking bone, onyinye you still deh drink milk – no vex , with time you will leave the milk, I pray. Shocked Grin
Who the hell are you?
lucabrasi (m)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #50 on: August 22, 2008, 09:31 PM »

Quote from: $$Rhino on August 21, 2008, 04:47 PM
I kind of agreed with you, but how could a man always running to mama and papa when he and his wife is having a prob, likewise, how cld a woman learn how to be a wife, when she has to run home to mama at all times, and not all mothers have a good advice, so it is important that the man and the woman are able to handle their wahala, except if it is out of hand
its not about running to mum and dad,on every issue,lets be honest even if you found  dated and married your partner yourself,as a naija you will still prefer to reort her to the family you know rather than the police or divorce court and thats where the parents come in,if you r living in peace and harmony then their job is done but if there are arguments and fights then thats where their wisdom in resolvin issues comes in, you are right not all parents have good advice but remember you will have two sets of parents to advice you
iz2much (m)
Re: Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?
« #51 on: August 23, 2008, 10:48 AM »

I think if my dad shuld choose for me, the girl must be assy and breastee
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