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Mustay (m)
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omo eko, na odd world we dey
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+osisi
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Posts: 1078 Online Re: Time To Abolish Dowry « #97 on: Today at 06:11:48 PM » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote from: willywilly on September 14, 2007, 04:30 PMMy uncle married 4 wives and all are yorubas,
he spent (250)naira as dowry for his 1st marriage, 2nd wife he paid (300)naira, 3rd wife he got her as a gift after he bought a land from a Yoruba man, 4th wife he paid nothing, only bought AGBADA and BuBA for the father and mother. for all his four wives he spent less than (1200)naira. i love that ,a very good bargain response by laudateOh yeah??? Is your uncle a muslim?? How come he has such a large appetite for women?
As for the story of a man dashing him a wife, because he bought the guy's piece of land. . . . .hehehe. . . .that story sounds like a fairytale. Are you sure that land speculator wasn't selling stolen property?
And finally, the parents of the 4th wife, that accepted only agbada (how come there was no sokoto) and buba (what about the iro) in exchange for their daughter must be either aliens, or ghosts. Were they walking around naked, before your uncle came to their rescue? Was that why they parted with their daughter in exchange for agbada and buba? Maybe if you tell us what part of the South-west they hail from, one might find it easier to swallow your story. Hehehe. . . .nothing wey person no go see for here! http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-77620.96.html#msg1512047that was a funny one by laudate. I've read it thrice and thrice did I laugh |
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zigbo (f)
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Author Topic: 5 Ways To Achieve Instant Fame On Nairaland (Read 3823 views)
Eastcoast (f)
Virginia
Posts: 1500
Offline
5 Ways To Achieve Instant Fame On Nairaland
« on: June 16, 2006, 02:08 PM »
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Many times we all want to be famous and recognized like hollywood/nollywood celebrities and if that's you, you've just reached the right place. Welcome to 5ways to achieve instant fame on nairaland
1. Register with a stricking username.
This phenomenal has been tested and proven to work. Members such as Hot-angel, hot-stepper, among others have shown that sexy is always better and recognizable. so if you are new here and thinking of registering with your birth name such as Lola-apata or the nick name you were given back in 6th grade, you better drop it and pick up usernames such as Smokinghot! and if such names make you uncomfortable, then my number 2 suggestion may just be for you.
2. Reply at least 50 post per day.
Did i just see you go . well, you read right. if you ain't into sexy usernames, then you better glue your butt to your chair and fix your eyes on your computer screen and start sending in those post. ok there you go again, your saying it's impossible. No it's not. the likes of bolex, eveseh,nike4luv, rhodalyn, among numerous others have shown that without a sexy name, you can still become a household name. so what are you waiting for? Butt down and start posting. but if you are too introverted, then you may just try my number 3 suggestion
3. Have a big EGO.
Yes, have a big Ego. i'm serious, people love to hate people with big ego's. You could just offend people without apologizing or post whatever regardless of others opinion, afterall, you're entitled to your opinion. ok, Did i just hear you say who does that? . the likes of Seun(our honorable admin) and nferyn, have proven that you don't always need to apologize or be right in order to become famous. and if you've stepped on so many toes, you could just post an apology as your signature. it will definitely get to those you've hurt and they'll forgive. ok, don't start complaining again, i know, your mama taught you to always be right with folks, so if this isn't for you, just try my number 4 suggestion
4. Try posting your picture.
Yes, this is my favorite. All you need is just a picture. it doesn't get any easier than that. To make it even juicer and spicer, don't just post it in your profile, because some members as lazy as myself, won't bother checking your profile. So what do you do? why not post it in every available thread be it politics, food, celebrities, new members, just wherever and whenever. Did i hear you say who does this? of course our one and only snazzydawn, Queenzy and ushergirl has showned that you don't need to say a word in order to be famous. just post a picture of yourself and you will leave our guys salivating, falling head over heels in love and making threads about their feelings. and if you want more than that, it could bring you good luck, and a crown in our hottest female competition. and if you suffer from a negative self image, or are to eager to be famous, i'm sorry, i have one last but extreme measure:
5. Post your obituary
Ha ha , did i hear you say God forbid. Who does that? Don't be decieved afterall this is just cyberworld, people have cyersex, cyberbusiness, so why not cyberdeath? . You may be dead to your computer friends but not to the real world. And did i just hear you say nobody in their right senses does this. No think again, normal people have done this and they don't live in a hunted house or the underworld and now, to prove that it brings fame is papermoon.
Ok there you have it from me. My 5 ways to achieve instant fame. feel free to add yours.
NB: If i used you as an example, please don;t get offended. i mean no harm at all. it's just for fun.
that was rily rily funny . . . . lol + that is true
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Mustay (m)
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. Try posting your picture. Yes, this is my favorite. All you need is just a picture. it doesn't get any easier than that. To make it even juicer and spicer, don't just post it in your profile, because some members as lazy as myself, won't bother checking your profile. So what do you do? why not post it in every available thread be it politics, food, celebrities, new members, just wherever and whenever. Did i hear you say who does this? of course our one and only snazzydawn, Queenzy and ushergirl has showned that you don't need to say a word in order to be famous. just post a picture of yourself and you will leave our guys salivating, falling head over heels in love and making threads about their feelings. and if you want more than that, it could bring you good luck, and a crown in our hottest female competition. and if you suffer from a negative self image, or are to eager to be famous, i'm sorry, i have one last but extreme measure:  |
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uchetobi (f)
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still laughing at the head mouth thing
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marlet01 (m)
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This thread is really funny, thumbs up
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tboy1 (m)
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@ufobabe,
Have u forgotten you once insulted me in this house, when i said i needed a girl for a serious relationship about two weeks ago.
You forgot you said i had a long way to go? is that respect for human feelings as you claim?
Ufobabe, i dislike you and i won't stop antagonising you because you put you rotten mouth into what does not concern you and it was like you added fuel to a burning fire. The thread is still there for you to go back and see what you said. You utterance actually infuriated and frustrated me out of the thread.
MABEL, you may not have peace until am done with you. You miserable and cataclysmic-kaleidoscopic baboon.
Grand-mother of a DOG.
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awen (f)
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@tboy1
whoa! mehn that is some heavy beef. life's too short to brew strife.keep it easy.
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Mustay (m)
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here, e'one seems to have reached a consensus that the poster is a MUMU |
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somze (m)
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Hello Friends,
I have been in a relationship for 2-3months now, with the love of my life and have not taken her to my place though we do meet at where i work (cyber-cafe), I love this God sent Angel with all my heart, She is just too precious for me to trade with, She has sometime wanted to visit me. but i have one way or the other postponed it because she is just too hot and do not want to deflower her, just trying to control myself.
Anyway to cut the long story short she finally paid me a visit, so after much chatting and since i do not want to deflower her i only ask her to do sometime, since it was only the two of us in the room but she refused and told me that she can`t and will not do it.
I only ask her to take off her shikt and undes only and put them back. just want to know if this is too hard for a girlfriend to do for his boyfriend on their first day? Is it too much to ask from your girlfriend? http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-86949.0.html#msg1596994 |
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Mustay (m)
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damn it! the 1st page is damn funny. ' when u think peeps were going to respond to this guy, they changed the status quo!  Breaking news, Seun Osewa has been banned from using Nairaland this is confirmed, that is why he has not replied here, am the new moderator and from next year, subscription will be 10k/yr for the guys and for the ladies,, they should come to my place for bargain |
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Mustay (m)
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somze this one funny Story of a College Girl (must read),
This is a story from University of Lagos about a young college girl who passed away last month.
Her name was Shola. She was hit by a truck. She had a boy friend named Ade. Both of them were true lovers. They always hung on the phone. You could never see her without her cell phone. In fact she also changed her phone from MTN to Celtel, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost and get good network coverage. She spent half of the day talking with Ade. Shola's family knew about their relationship. Ade was very close with Shola's family. (Just imagine their love).
Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please bury me with my handset she also said the same thing to her parents. After her death, people couldn't carry her coffin, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't, everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a Feng Shui Master. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". Then her friends told the Master about her intentions to bury her with her phone.
He then opened the coffin and places her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked.
Shola’s parents did not inform Ade that Shola had passed away. After 2 weeks Ade called Shola’s mom. Ade: "I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me please. Don’t tell Shola that I'm coming home today, I want to surprise her." Her mother replied, "You come home first; I want to tell you something very important." After he came, they told him the truth about Shola.
Ade thought that they were playing pranks. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool me - tell Shola to come out, I have a gift for her and please stop this nonsense".
Then they showed him her grave. He said, "It's not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Ade was shaking. Suddenly, his phone rang. "See this is from Shola, see this, " he showed the phone to Shola’s family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It was the actual voice of Shola & there was no way others could use her SIM card since it was nailed inside the coffin. They were so shocked and asked for the Feng Shuie Master's help again. The Master brought his co-masters to solve this matter. He & his co-masters worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing,
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netotse (m)
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Re: What A Wife
« #14 on: August 13, 2007, 12:57 PM »
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READ THE CONVERSATION:
oyinbo - Hello? Hi, this is Raheema calling from Hollywood Hereafter Resources. I just wanted to let you know that your phone number was randomly selected in a drawing and we have reserved a free burial space for you at the New Island Cemetery in Bridge
naijaperson- WHAT?
oyinbo - If you would just give me your name and address. I want to send you a letter to confirm the free burial space we have reserved for you
naijaperson- You reserved what for me, A grave?
oyinbo - A free burial space.
naijaperson-What's the difference?
oyinbo - Well, the word "grave" can be scary sir. You can disregard the letter if you don't want it. This is just a courtesy call to
naijaperson- How interesting. So, as a Telemarketer, you pick up the phone and cold call people to pitch them with offers?
oyinbo - Well, yes sir. We always make sure it is something of potential interest to them
naijaperson- Of course. Who wouldn't be interested in dying? I am definitely interested in a grave. I am. That is a very important decision to make before you die, right? -
oyinbo - I agree with you sir. You're so open-minded about this. A lot of people don't understand why it is so important to hand-pick your final resting place before you pass on. It ensures you get the kind of burial you want for yourself.
naijaperson-I see say na you them send come.
oyinbo - I'm sorry? Send, come?
naijaperson-Oh, they don't use the witchdoctor in the village anymore, right? They have gone nuclear and now are using Americans. Na you them send come!
oyinbo - I'm sorry sir, but I don't know what you're talking about.
naijaperson-I get fillage too o! I be proper bush boy and my mama still dey kampe for waterside. Na one phone call e go take and she go run go fillage go get me Gold Circle condom protection, you hear. Una no dey here say e better for somebody? Why na so-so make una dey spoil person own una dey like?
oyinbo - I don't understand what you're saying
naijaperson- You go understand by force. Na airmail I go take send winch to you, you hear. Una think say una know winch just because una dey do halloween. You think winch na that abracadabra una dey do for America? You think na to chant poetry and cook soup with lizard yansh and frog tongue be winch? I go show you where we dey use snake leg do ogbonge juju. Black winch, red winch, multi-color winch, For my fillage, na your eyes I go take flavor the juju. You go know betta winch when my own army land.
oyinbo - I do apologize to you if my phone call has offended you in any way
naijaperson- You have not offended me. I am not offended.Do I sound offended? Why would I be offended because you - kind-hearted telemarketer that you are - reserved a grave for me?Do you know how old I am? 32. In my country, people don't die at 32. When they die so young, it is a major tragedy! My mother and father are still alive. You want me to die before them?
oyinbo - I didn't mean anything -
You people never mean anything when you make these stupid phone calls. How dare you wish me death -
oyinbo - No, that's not what
naijaperson- I DON'T CARE! Do you know how many years I worked on getting a visa to come to America? 10 years. 10! Do you know how many laws I broke in so many countries before I found my way here? I have been here only 2 years. All the people who gave me loans to buy ticket and visa have not been paid. My mother and father are still waiting for me to perform the magic of Dollars for them in Nigeria. This telephone was just connected 2 months ago because I am just now able to afford a telephone because I cannot make good money due to my illegal alien status. And now, you want me to die before I can even begin to enjoy a little, Ah, your own don spoil o. I swear, e no go betta for you. E no, what? Na hand ya mama and papa go take bury you. And na there eyes them go take cry for you for that yeye grave wey you don reserve for yaself.
oyinbo - Are you cussing me sir?
naijaperson-Cuss you? Why should I? Why would I want to cuss someone who is offering me a grave? I am only reacting in my local English. That is how we behave when we are overwhelmed with joy in my country.
I just had a distinct feeling that you were not saying nice things about me.
naijaperson-See this wowo wey craw-craw don chop him yansh finish, Look, just as an aside, are all the members of your family reserved space in your graveyard?
oyinbo - Some of them do have
naijaperson- No, don't stop there. You should get everybody a plot. I go help you use juju finish all of them make una dey go
do whassup my dog for Hollywood, abi na where you dey call from.
oyinbo - I have to hang up now sir.
naijaperson- Before you hang up, would you by any chance know anything about a scam where telemarketers call people on the phone to assure them they have a free burial space, then try to get them to buy expensive mausoleums and crypts? What is it called? Bait and switch, right?
oyinbo - I don't know what you're talking about.
naijaperson-You get pickin?
oyinbo - Get picking? Picking what?
naijaperson-You get pickin? You don born bomboy? Mai you dash your pickin the grave now.
oyinbo - Dash picking, You' re dissing me?
naijaperson-Diss? Dis one pass diss, agaracha. Dis one na K.I.S.S., kiss - serious kiss of death.
oyinbo - I have to hang up now sir.
naijaperson-No, please wait. Let me reserve the whole cemetery for your unborn children. I will also reserve a full page in the Daily Times obituary section -
oyinbo - That's mean! You can't talk to me like that just because I'm a telemarketer. We are people too.
naijaperson- Yes, bad people, People who call me at all kinds of hours to trick me into buying what I don't need.
oyinbo-I'm going to report you to the INS! You will be deported!
naijaperson-My juju go don finish you before you reach the place! Winch pass
winch! You no go die betta, I tell you. I go make sure say them give you craze first, make you waka enter K-Mart abi wetin una dey call market for this side - before them finish you! She reserve grave, Why you no take knife come kill me yaself? E no go betta for - Hello? You hang up? Why you no wait make I finish? Why you no wait? Oloshi! Na dead dog wey get rabies go chop the mouth you take talk to me.
can't believe no one commented on this naijaperson i had to take the time to tush it up so it'd be beta understood! |
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