Time To Abolish Dowry

i beg to disagree,its time to INCREASE BRIDE PRICE una no know say things cost for market?

osisi her name is "iya aje"(witch mother) for a reason 

What the hell do you people need 24 loaves of bread for?

ROFL.
That's what I'm also dying to know.
That list must be from a particular village,who knows which one.
my people don't ask for bread and our list is not that long.[flash=200,200][/flash]

let parents make the list jo. afterall after you don settle down they won't buy you anything (eh we got bills to pay) 
or i dey look for loan for winter semester in nursing school for your pikin 

lol my sister  hello o. na so the thing come be. anyway, parents are smart nowadays.
the sad thing is many of them are not marrying but looking to chop the forbidden fruits. we ladies are not helping matter. close your leg, let him finish NYSC/work and go pay that bride price 

you don't understand  that bread won't touch your/my mouth even if we are big on bread 

infact the bride won't get the things they requested for  by the time extended families do father christmas on the items, you are home making lists of what to buy for the house  . i have heard of families fighting over the items 

Actually most of the contents of that list are not even for the brides parents.
the drinks and other edibles including certain sums of money go directly to the men (umunna),women (umuada) and youths of the community.
These are required or else they may not show up for the traditional wedding and may also not show up for any ceremonies including burials in that compound because they are owed a debt.

A good father of the bride and his middle man must actively negotiate to lower the  list but even with that some things are non negotiable and must be provided.
The earings,necklace anad wrappers and other articles of clothing are for the bride,her mom and grandmas in some communities aunts are even included.
A wise mother of the bride sometimes can help the man out here by displaying some of their old stuff in good condition and pretend the man bought them.

During my own time,my husband just gave money and my parents did all the shopping,even with all that my mothers home town people still said their cartons of maltina was incomplete,I mean my maternal grandmothers birthplace not even my mothers birthplace that's funny .
Marriage in Igboland is a community affair an d the community is limitless.

lol laudate. I still have the bible given to my mom.

how are you, Btw. long time. Hope all is well 

marriage is where you see the worst of the igbo culture. here you see greed and jealousy combining in one ceremony. that a young man is completely ripped mainly by people who don't care about him or his wife to be , is very ridiculous. if i had my way, i would have married an oyibo or even efik woman (but i hear other tribes in nigeria are begining to learn from the crazy igbo culture)

it is usually the relatives of the girl, (not her father or immediate family but distant relatives) who insist on these payments. now these relatives will say if the guy doesn't bring the money there'll be no marriage. they don't care if the marriage doesnt hold. the girls immediate family will always want the guy to do what he can but these relatives will have non of it. i don't know why our culture allows these greedy(usually good for nothing)relatives so much authority . and after the wedding they don't care what happens to the girl and her guy. annoying

the issue is not the dowry. but also the "list" can cause sudden heart attack in a young man. and i can swear that it may not be unconnected with the tenacious desire of igbo young men to make money at all cost . . . and many of them end up in prisons around the world. i can never allow my daughter's suitor to spend beyong his limits. infact if he spends beyond a certain amount he'll have to answer to the source of that money

this nonsense igbo culture must end with this generation or else. . . . . . .

I think the solution is very simple - Introduce GROOM PRICE 

As I dey here so I dey very espensif o! Any woman wey wan marry me, make them hol money well well.

my list go even include Sushi from Japan and Schezuan style chicken, if not, no deal! 

I don't even think that the bride price is one major reason why there is the so called "abundance of unmarried girls" . The truth is that our culture is a "loud" culture. Everybody wants to show off. Bride price or no bride price couples will still find an excuse to spend exorbitantly. Take the Church wedding for instance. Is there a stipulation to how much You are supposed to spend in a wedding ceremony. No!!!! But I have seen couples stretch their accounts just to impress God knows who only to go bankrupt after the wedding.

An earlier post suggested that the bride price should still be maintained or otherwise the husband will always use that to taunt the wife if he paid little or nothing for her. My sister , Men will always be Men. I have seen a husband in the heat of an argument with the wife aske her "Do you know how much I paid for your dowry for u to come here and challenge me? " ; implying that he paid enough and as a result the woman had no right to question his authority. That is our culture for you; so whichever way we flip the coin we would always want to show off, bride price or no bride price.

Uche2nna, Toshmann, Debosky, you guys need to stop worrying. The Good Lord who provided the babe, shall verily provide the bride price!  

To be on the safe side, try & look out for babes from the South-West, far North or the Middle-Belt. In the South-West in those good old days, 90% of the expenses for the wedding were borne by the bride's family, except for the couple's clothes and the short bethrothal list of yams, fruits, kolanuts, bible etc. used during the traditional engagement. Nowadays, most families share the expenses, fifty-fifty.

The Igala community too, is not too far from the East, (in fact some of my relatives come from an Igala town,  just a few kilometres from Onitsha), and bride price there, is little or next to nothing! The women, nko? Na die!Trust me. So if the bride price in your area is too much, just cross the Niger!

I have never participated in umuada affairs being that I don't live in Nigeria and I married from a community different from my birthplace.

The umuadas who are born and married in the same community are the most feared.
Just this past Christmas on 2 ocassions,2 seperate days they camped out under a tree behind my parents house cooking and eating at our expense,the first was them celebrating the birth of my niece and nephew and the other was in celebration of my wedding,after the wedding.
They were present at the wedding O in my husbands village but they still needed their own private merriment.
Umuada demands are non negotiable.That's just the way it is.
They prayed for me I heard and sent their greetings amidst boiling stockfish and yam peppersoup.

ummm Hollandis  _{a must} 

@ echelon


 Nobody is insulting the culture. Pointing out lapses or "exuberances"  of our culture, especially in this era where it is proving more retrogressive than progressive (as indicated by the number of unmarried people) does not amount to insult. We just have to find a way of preserving parts of the culture that are still relevant and throwing out those parts that are more of a hindrance. I believe that is the dynamism we are talking about.

LMAO


Another one bites the dust