My Ex Wants To Have Lunch And A Talk!

I don't think it would be wise to see him

I would want you to go by the saying of "when you get to the bridge you cross it"

It is prematured to be apprehensive of the reason he wants to see you, in fact you should have allowecd him come, hear him then if need be post the issue online to seek an advice.

We really don't know  for instance the circumstances that led to your break up because that is like more of a determining factor to what happens to your future courtings.

Do you now HATE him because you broke up? Take him as a friend and let him show up. If he says anything, you need not give him a conclusive answer immediately you can always come to the forum for views.

Hear me, welcome him first.

Seun thumbs up to you for nairaland, it will soon be about the most popular local content driven forum, in no distant  time

The temptation you can avoid, avoid, the one you can't, resist, and the one you are powerless towards, ask for God's help. He'll not dissapoint you.
Better safe than sorry.
All the best pinky.

Sweetheart, the key here is 'residual feelings'. You've still got it. and u've got to face it. Your ex knows that and most likely he knows you very well too.

Honey, he has nothing to tell u after 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 calendar months (not days!!!!!!!!), other than 'Let's begin again'. If he's the humble type, he'll add 'Forgive me' (some men can be soooo proud they want u to think it's a priviledge dating them).
After 9 solid months of silence, and a cold exit

It's up to you to decide if u want to stay with your present guy or go back to the other guy. Don't get too emotional, whatever u do. emotions are always on the motion/ on the move, so u've got know what u want in life and get it, without sentiments.

If u aren't considering taking him back, DO NOT, i repeat DO NOT see him for any reason whatsoever. Let him tell u the inferno that is bringing down his house over the phone. Your help:call the fire service over the phone to put out the fire at his end or have u now become a fire fighter? Girl, wise up!! If he needs financial help, if u feel generous enough send him money by all means.Thank God for ebanking. whatever it is if u are not thinking of going back to him, he should speak with u on phone.chikena!

People must always remember this, If u have to shut the door, please shut it gently. You never can tell if u have to pass through that door again. Relationships don't work out all the time but doesn't mean we should become enemies.
@leighcon
If he had thot of her feelings and wellbeing he would have extended his arm of friendship in those 9 silent months.If u cross some bridges, u will not like where u find yourself afterwards.
@romeo
don't be so hard on poster. her emotions are involved.

Benit--watch it!!!    don't encourage her to ruin her new found relationship. what do u mean,"there is noting wrong? why did he leave her in first place? after 9 months he now calls to say let talk. talk what? watever he has to say let him say it on the phone and let it end their.   

MY POST

Pinkttea, my advice. don't dare give him that satisfaction of you and him having lunch and chatting with him. after 9 month he now pop up like a movie star that went sabbatical resurface to be given a rosy welcome by his fans. come to think of it, i hope you are not hanging on to his mobile number? if you really love your self and love the new guy you better delete whatever information you ever had with your EX- either good or bad and tell him to do the same for you. that way he will know that it's over between the two of you.

Wish you all the best and luck in your new relationship. you deserve better.

let him make the journey . For nothing! Then just stand him up! 

i have been nursing the idea of writing a book called the ex-factor because ive seen what can come out of meeting your ex.  i had a beauty once who told me when l asked about this dinner ivs fom the ex and co and she told me 'there is nothing there'. i believed her and was left high and dry in the cold. my word is if what you have is worth it burn down the bridges. they only help you back to where you did not think they will.

on another note some people though they care can allow an ex enough room for some freshair. his silence for 9 months may just be that. i don't like personally, sticking my nose in other peoples business. i have not spoken to my ex for six weeks or less. i miss her like hell but decided to stay off when we were begining to get bitter and some txt msg had gone into the arena of insults. i had my faults, we both had ours. i did not get a validation but c'est la vie.

What kind of advice is this , how will u feel if a guy does that to you

With all due respect, Honorable, Chief Mr. Amaikama, MDM, PDP, ODE, CIPP, the people have asked me to ask you these questions:
They are hoping you can provide them valuable insights on the industry of banking + saving (investing) of genitalia. 

PS - In a follow-on meeting, the people would also like your wisdom on how a female (viz-a-viz the poster) is considered transformed into what you call a whore solely based on a consideration of lunch with her ex. THANK YOU SIR FOR ALL ENLIGHTENMENT.

Here are the questions received regarding your wisdom on banking of body parts:

1. What is the name of the bank you reference?

2. Where is it located and how long has it been in business? Is it approved and regulated by CBN?

3. What is the prime interest rate offered?

4. Who collects on the original deposit [plus interest] in the event that the depositor dies?

5. Who is the title of ownership certificate awarded to? - The depositor? The maker? The bank?


Thank you very much Honorable sir for any educational insight, and enlightenment you provide to we, your people. We are greatly honored.

What is so important about this talk, that it cannot be "talked" on di phone? I beg, your -ex has another thing in mind, jare! And am sure what is on his mind is nothing good. Or has he just discovered that he was infected with something, and he is worried that he might have passed it on to you?

CAN ANYBODY TELL ME WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH BABEELOVE? LIKE WHAT KIND OF PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM DOES SHE REALLY HAVE?
ITS HONESTLY NOT FUNNY ANYMORE, I THINK SHE NEEDS TO GET CHECKED. SOMETHING WRONG FOR SURE.
SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!
(sorry that was seriously off topic, but def. needed to be said and addressed)

relax! where's your humour? 
Besides spoilt will not undertake a long journey to have lunch with an ex! i no get that kind power. 

one question, who broke up with who and why?

1) if u broke up with him, then he might be coming to try to mend things up, and maybe look into the future for both of u, i.e. if u guys havent talked in a while, it might be sufficient enough time for him to realize that he misses u, this is only if u havent been showing him any kind of feelings that u still like him

2) on the other side, if he broke up with u, then i will tel u point blank, the guy is horny and he wants some, simple and plain, i know u said your relationship is not based on S.E.X but watver is closest to that which u guys did , is what he is coming for, theres no need to deceive yourself, i am a guy and i know how we think, unfortunately some women do not see through these things

now let me tell u why i think this guy stands a better chance at no.2 , from the looks of things u still have feelings for the guy, its all clear so u need to b careful with what u do,  if u are comin a messageboard to ask if u should see him, i think your mind knows exactly what u want to do , u just need people to make u feel better about it, i only had to read 3 of your posts to tell that u stil like this guy, and here are the reasons

a) u are curious to se what he has to say (this should never be the case if u have broken up with someone and moved on with someone u claim to love, watever he has to say could be discussed on the phone as far as u are concerned)

b) u plan not to tell your current boyfriend with a mere reason of "u know how men are sometimes" (i'll tell u point blank, that is a dumb excuse, and exactly how most u women fall for stupid things and then u get back to your innocent boyfriend explaining crap, wehn the other guy has trashed u, im not saying that will be the case for u, im just saying, u not tellin your current boyfriend means u don't care how much he feels with u doing stuff behind his back, have u ever thought of if he gets to find out? have u thought of the aftermath of your relationship after that? if u really love this guy, do u care about his feelings if he finds out u met with your ex without tellin him??)

c) people mentioned sex as a reason why he is coming to see u and u replied saying our relationship was not based on sex  (LOL, if your relationship was not based on sex, u trully wont be typing that out here, u wont have to go into the details of that,, i mean think about it, even if a couple doesnt talk to each other and all they do is have sex sex sex, do u think any of them will come out and say their relationship was solely based on sex??? nope,  that should be personal business to u, atleast u can say something like "oh if thats what he wants, he is wasting his time" , i mean its just my opinion tho, sounds like u are trying too hard to let everyone know your relationship is not based on sex, which shudnt be the case)

im tired of typing, anyways, do what your mind tells u cus u still going to do so anyway, but u need to be very careful, i can't advise u not to see him because from looks of things there is something u are really curious about in seeing him which i don't know, but watver it is, make sure that it is worth u makin a move like this, cus if u guys almost got married, im guessin u are in that stage in your life where theres no time for games, and last thing u want to happen is for a guy to mislead u while u lose another promising guy in the process, think think think about it,

finally if u still like this guy, please stop wasting another mans time when u plan to do things like this behind him

yound_dige

You Try, i clap for u

But i just want you to know i'm not wasting anybody's time, and not all u think r true ok!

To everyone that has said something here, Thank you!

It depends on what causes the break up, but dear since you are into another relationship and u really care about this new guy, I will advice to please don’t try in because If you do, you will fall into temptation. Am sure he is only planning to lure you back or something.  Just let him go and face this new guy.

young digi is indeed very YOUNG. what an epistle!