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olababe (f)
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the person i'm dating right now was my very close friend and he still his. i think it's always good when u're friends before d intimacy.
you tend to understand each other more and better. we've been intimate now for 5yrs and getting married next yr.
maybe i'll say for me it's the best.
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Ldales (m)
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Thanks Babe, tell them o, them guys who think stereotyped, Go dthats has brough your relationshoip thus far would perfect the wedding and the marriage. God bless u.  |
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Phydas
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I go out with my close friends all the time I don't see anything wrong with going out with your close friend/s unless you have something else in mind. As long as it's for fun, dinner or play. You may ruin the relationship though if you lack prudence. If you are interested in her(in most cases) or him, then know what you want and go for it.
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mekoyo (m)
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Hmmmm, no be only you dey this saga o.
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FactorChic (f)
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I don't see anything wrong with it, but u should know that some people are better off as friends, they just don't work out as couples, try not to ruin ur friendhsip in anyway,
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Naijapikin (m)
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the person i'm dating right now was my very close friend and he still his. i think it's always good when u're friends before d intimacy.
you tend to understand each other more and better. we've been intimate now for 5yrs and getting married next yr.
maybe i'll say for me it's the best.
YES, it is the best. I'm also getting married to a very close friend(my best friend). I've known her for over 4 years before we started dating for 2 years now. By December, we'll be Mr and Mrs Naijapikin. Before her, I've been in various unsuccessful relationships. She was always trying to amend my relationships for me( we discuss everything together) then and I was also helpng her with hers. We never thought we'll ever date each other. I have never felt love this way. We understand each other so much that we now 'look alike'. We have no problem with understanding each other. What of love? My fellow nairalanders, our love dey make me kolo seriously. |
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seun001 (m)
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neednt say much
the best thing is to go out with ur friend.
but u must first be sure of ursef and ur girl so that u wont spoil everything.
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kamozini (f)
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the essential word in all this is "mutual" there has to be a mutual desire to take things to another level and be ready to face the music whether its good or bad.  |
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druggie233 (m)
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Why will i want to mess up such a lovely relationship  What if we don’t work out as partner? Where do we go from there  ? hmmmmmm i don't think things will every be the same again. That is why my friendship has limit, when I consider someone a friend it stays that way only if I want more that. |
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Ralvy (m)
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Its nt. . . . at all
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Naijapikin (m)
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Why will i want to mess up such a lovely relationship What if we don’t work out as partner? Where do we go from there ? hmmmmmm i don't think things will every be the same again. That is why my friendship has limit, when I consider someone a friend it stays that way only if I want more that. You contradict yourself. You talk of limit and ''only if I want more (than) that''. My, guy, love knows no boundary, no matter how we try to place a limit. |
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druggie233 (m)
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You contradict yourself. You talk of limit and ''only if I want more (than) that''. My, guy, love knows no boundary, no matter how we try to place a limit.
Am not contradicting my sef jare, I know what am talking about. |
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mekoyo (m)
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On a serious not nairalanders. Your best friend is your best bet.
With your best friend there is this closeness you have, you know each other better and understand yourselves, you can work hand in hand to make something out of nothing, you have this thing going on well, this will avoid break ups, divorce, quarellings, etc cause you'll know what each of you like and don't like, you got me? Dating each other is not a bad idea but what is bad in it is when you indulge in premarital sex which isd fornication, you sin against your body.
So therefore i'll advice that if you find yourself in such a situation and you know you are ready for it(marriage as the case may be) then just let it out i'm the other will like you too.
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Goldmann (m)
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Each situation is unique, Most guys are cool, calculating, scheming beings. The truth of the matter is that a guy would readily screw or date probably 99% of the girls he calls his friends (provided they are sufficiently attractive) To girls however, this is hardly the case, girls seem to play more by the "FRIENDSHIP RULES" such as "FRIENDS don't KISS" etc, It hardly ever happens that a guy is friends with a girl and all of a sudden starts developing feelings for her, He probably had such FEELINGS and cruel intentions all along, and was just biding his time, My position on the situation is as follows: GUYS IF, U INTEND TO DATE A GIRL, don't U EVER FALL INTO THAT SAD PLACE CALLED THE "FRIENDS ZONE", because ONCE A GIRL HAS STARTED TO VIEW U AS HER ADOPTED BROTHER AND U ASK HER OUT, SHE WILL NOT ONLY BE HURT BUT SHE WOULD ALSO COSIDER IT AN INCESTOUS PROPOSITION  ONCE U CAN TELL URE IN THE FRIENDS ZONE, ITS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO GET OUT,, SHE SITS ON YOUR LAP, LIES DOWN ACROSS YOUR CHEST , KISSES YOUR CHEEK AND EVEN CONFIDES IN YOU ABOUT HER CRUSH ON SOME "REAL MAN" WHO HASNT MADE YOUR TRAGIC ERROR. SADLY U can't MAKE ANY MOVES because SHE WILL FEEL BETRAYED IF U DO. BOTTOM LINE IS THIS, WHETHER OR NOT U CAN ASK YOUR "CLOSE" FRIEND OUT DEPENDS ON JUST HOW CLOSE U REALLY ARE, IF U GUYS ARE REALLY TIGHT AND U HAVE BEEN CAREFUL NOT TO FALL INTO THE SAD ZONE I DESCRIBED ABOVE, GO ALL OUT, AND TELL HER UR FEELINGS, URE BOUND TO HAVE AN EXPLOSIVE ROMANCE, FRIENDSHIP IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL KEEP U GOING WHEN URE BOTH EIGHTY AND HER BOOBS SAG TO HER KNEES AND UR privates IS AS DEAD AS SADDAM, IF HOWEVER SHE NOW VIEWS U AS HER BROTHER, I'm AFRAID, URE A LOSER DOOMED TO WATCH THE ONE U LOVE, LOVE SOMEONE ELSE, LICK YOUR WOUNDS AND LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES, ATTEMPTING TO ASK HER OUT NOW IS NOT ONLY DOOMED TO FAIL, BUT ITS ALSO BOUND TO SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR "BROTHER-SISTER" FRIENDSHIP I recommend, u see the movie FRIEND ZONE, Its a must watch if uve got such issues |
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niceuzor
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-. . . . .subcribing to trend-
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omogenaija (f)
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if i'm feeling him then i don't see why not,
i've heard people say that best friends make the best lovers
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hot chic (f)
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It actually depends on so many factors,but it depends on your so called friend,to some its the best relationship they have ever had,while to others its the complete opposite.
Sometimes,when you ask your close frnds out,they think it is an indecent proposal,they think you lot have been too close and they never expected that from you.
What i suggest you do is that you study the so called friend,because he/she can have thesame feelings towards you and may not know how to express their feelings.
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larriederm (m)
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WELL TO ME THAT'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! because AT FRIENSHIP STAGE BOTH OF YOU WILL KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL, THE LIKES AND DISLIKES SO FROM THERE U MOVE ON, I THINK IS THE BEST!
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aisha2 (f)
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@real demi
I had a childhood friend, we were so close and very good friends. We were also family friends as well as neighbors. One two, one two, our mothers saw how close we were and started making statements and insinuations. My Mom tried with me but I brushed it off, but his mother succeded in convincing him and he started asking me out, i kept insisting that we are good friends and a relationship would ruin our friendship but everyone around me thought it was a match made in heaven. he kept asking me out for almost two years then I had boyfriend issues and i finally agreed to go out with him. His mother is one of the sweetest people you will meet in this life and i love her so much and take her like my mom.
However, me and him were terrible as a couple, when we were friends, his womanising never bothered me, but gradually i realised that he was a chronic womaniser. I held on for years because i did not want to hurt our parents but early this year his paople came to ask for my hand in marriage without informing me am sure the felt they didnot need to consult me because we were a couple for a long time. AT that point I realised that i could not live with his habit, so I said No. Everyone was shocked, Only my Dad kind of expected it because am close to him and am sure he must have guessed because he will always drop hints on the subject.
The long and short of it now is that, I have lost a good friend, and our families have some kind of strainous relationship. I have not been able to go home since that time because I can't go home without going to see his mom. She is still very hurt by my actions and feels betrayed.
That is the price am still paying
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numen (m)
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@aisha2
its a pity things turned out d way they did(take h@ dear) but let ur story be a lesson 2all nd especially nairalanders. never give-in to any relationship to please someone/somepeople or under pressure.
That said, I believe dating ur best friend is d best thing that can happen to u. Provided d two of u feel d same way about takin d relationship 2 another level. My current girlfriend was my best friend and believe me, our Love is something out of Romance Novels. And we are seriously planning on getting married soon.
To know if she feels d same about u, watchout for this clues(they r not absolute indicators but will guide you)
1. When she frequently calls/txt u (girls dnt normally do that unless they dig u)
2. When she is eager to tell u about her ups & downs and is eager to know about yours, and profers advice.
3. When she gives u her time and is not bothered she is spending it with u.(They need that time 4 potential Chikers, if they spend it with u, I guess they have found there dream Chiker.)
4. When she gives u an indepth detail of her recent chiker/chikers and how she ditched them(be careful here some might just be looking to create a list of guys ditched, and if u Toast then, guess what, u r next on d list. Tricky huh)
5. When she writes u a txt finishing it with 143. Without saying whether it means I(1) Love(4) You(3) or I(1) Like(4) You(3). Of cause she will like u for her 2b ur friend. But what if she feels Love instead of Likeness.
6. You just have to put your ears and senses to d ground, because when they love they give out signals unknown/known to them. Signals like ever ready to be there 4u(Physically and emotionally[excluding sex]). Not easily annoyed/pissed of when u 4ck up(minor ones though) because they don't want to overreact and loose u in their burst of anger.
Have u heard of the Phrase "A friend in need, id a friend indeed" A woman in love is the true personification of that phrase.
Good Luck Ya'll.
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seun001 (m)
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@Goldmann,
i feel your analysis,rite on target.
@real demi,
can feel your pain,
had a situation that almost look like that except my mum always told me bhind closed doors to disregard woteva she said in public with respect to the girl.nice your dad saw your point.that musta been a blessing i guess.
anyways your relationship with his mother will be determined by how the guy took your refusal,am thinking they just took the decision without even seeking his consent not only urs.
@numen,
hmm,your analysis na gbam!
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Higher (m)
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Nice contributions 4m diffrent perspective.
I can tell u boldly that i'm a victm of this topic.
And my story,
when i was in skol in my very 1st semester, i had a friend n we are very special n found of each other plantonically. But my friends didn't believe there was nothing between us because of our closeness. Immediatly we sight each other we leave whatever we may be doin to give each other miximum attension, esply when either of us look dull or not happy. We were like dt for good 2yrs. But 1 thing led to another in d 3yr which propel me to approach her on my birthday outing and she put me on hold (lik a mobile phone) 4 sme month prcisely d followed Valentine day. And eva since den she has been being my only conforter among human being. I love her endlessly infact unexpresingly n vise versa. And God willing we are ending up in marriage because she has all i want in a woman.
And to this end i will say there is no big deal in it infact if u will not say it because i'm a victim, i will say dts hw it should be sincere all dt everybody want in his/her relationship or marriage is happiness, joy and happy home. And where or who else can offer u this other dan smeone u call a special friend dt understand u beta dan any other person.
If u can't marry ur friend who else do u want to marry? ur Enermy or a Stranger? Don't forget a relationship has to start 4m smewhere.
Good luck!
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Higher (m)
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Nice contributions 4m diffrent perspective.
I can tell u boldly that i'm a victm of this topic.
And my story,
when i was in skol in my very 1st semester, i had a friend n we are very special n found of each other plantonically. But my friends didn't believe there was nothing between us because of our closeness. Immediatly we sight each other we leave whatever we may be doin to give each other miximum attension, esply when either of us look dull or not happy. We were like dt for good 2yrs. But 1 thing led to another in d 3yr which propel me to approach her on my birthday outing and she put me on hold (lik a mobile phone) 4 sme month prcisely d followed Valentine day. And eva since den she has been being my only conforter among human being. I love her endlessly infact unexpresingly n vise versa. And God willing we are ending up in marriage because she has all i want in a woman.
And to this end i will say there is no big deal in it infact if u will not say it because i'm a victim, i will say dts hw it should be sincere all dt everybody want in his/her relationship or marriage is happiness, joy and happy home. And where or who else can offer u this other dan smeone u call a special friend dt understand u beta dan any other person.
If u can't marry ur friend who else do u want to marry? ur Enermy or a Stranger? Don't forget a relationship has to start 4m smewhere.
Good luck!
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tenvuladu
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The million dollar question will now be how do you know if the felling is mutual?
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real_demi (f)
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@aisha2 real sorry about that. don't worry, u'll heal with time. Nothing is truly as bad as it seems when it 1st happened. It all fizzles with time. U made a GREAT decision. No body is gong to live with him but u when u guys get married. U reserve d sole choice to choose d best for u. And sista, u deserve the best. If u can't handle his flaws (womanizing) NOW,u never will be able to. that's authentic. Guys rarely change. All parties involved will come round. Just keep ur head upa nd be nice to them, @ poster u've got 2 study which close friend is probable prospective and which is not. I've got some cloose friends that i wuld never date because I know we will fight till 1 of us breaks his or her neck ;Dbut we are still quite close. I've understood their weaknesses and strengths and mine as well so I know we can't marry but I love them all d same.  |
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linklee (f)
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Dating your close friend might not be a bad idea especially if the feeling is mutual, am in a relationship with my best friend although its not easy all relationships have their ups and down. In my own case my guy was willing to make it work i was actually the difficult one because i was still seeing him as my friend which later led to a break up but during those times alone i realised what i was missing and i came back although i didnt go into another relationship during those times. at the end of the day we realised we understood each other and we were willing to continue and give it a chance and its being working out since then. although we had to work on the respect aspect and that was my concern.i think its good to date ur close friend especially someone who knows you through and through. it has really helped me because i know what he his capable of doing and not doing because we were once in a platonoc relationship where there was no need for pretense. i once rejected him because i thot we would be a lousy couple everyone thot so too but now its a different story we are going to 2yrs and people are amazed. to me its not a bad idea except you are not compatible. |
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kenosky (m)
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. This is a tricky one but as goldmann says, if you're already in that zone BROTHER-SISTER zone, pally leave it at that, if its still just friends, maybe just maybe, u could try asking her out but u must know what u really want (if its not just to get into her pants) else friends are best left as what they r-- FRIENDS!!! intimacy of any sort would ultimately fracture the friendship, check out differences between the one u like and the one u love. because most likely, u just want to get down with her, abeg, just remain friends and u ll sure b the happier for it,
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fisho (m)
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What ever it is ? It is happened to me before and was about happening again? bt i think the first came with a right motive and the second may be a wrong one, am nt sure, I was getting into it? shared some little kisses bt it came to a time, I had to back out, Does True Friends transform to great Lovers?,
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afrodixie
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If you do not go out with your close friends---you will never find out how close you really are. If you are still friends after that---then you are really close friends----if not--you will always wonder till you die. My take---Go for it!!!! Just do not think he or she is your brother or sister----------very bad for romance  -----just go for it!  My best friends are the ones I had slept with in the past----guys of course----nothing to hide again naaaaaaaaaa!!!! Besides--------there is always the possiblity that that "illicit" candle can light up again for the "glorious old time sake"! |
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kayman2u (m)
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u definately won't go out wit an enemy. It sure is difficult goin out wit a close friend because there's a high tendency of finding out more about the person that may piss u off than u know when u guys are in the platonic and dealing with such circumstances can be pretty difficult because u are neck deep in it, if u knw what i mean. Basically,i think it all depends on the maturity of the dudes involved but my verdict is that it is better dating someone u knw (close friend) than a total stranger.
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