Tales From The (drk)chocolate Factory

Today I cried,

I actually still am wiping the tears.

Does a person ever become too old to cry, to have hurt feelings?

I'm trying to move on from things, but it's making me even more sensitive.   Most of the time I bury my feelings, because the pain runs too deep in me to deal with it most of the time.

Today, I prayed to God, and the tears came forth. I asked God "Why", why this, why that. Why did those people hurt me?  Why did that guy leave me without saying goodbye? Why am I still in the city I feel trapped in?  Why didn't I leave when I had the chance? And when I left, why did I feel the need to come back?

Why have I received the hatred I have from people closest to me? I know I'm not perfect, but I tried to love them.

Why was I betrayed by people I loved and laughed with? Will I ever get better? Will I always be depressed? Will I always be lonely? Is loneliness my destiny?

So many questions that I'll never have the answer to. I feel like I'm stumbling through life blind. Sometimes I just want to see the light of day, or a light at the end of the tunnel to give me hope.

Sometimes I see it, then it leaves.

I know tears are cleansing; I need to cleanse my spirit so that I can move forward. But then there's the poverbial "Big girls don't cry".

Today, the tears flowed,