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hot-angel (f)
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Two lovers plan to commit Suicide. Boy jumped first.
Girl closed her eyes, and returns back, saying 'love is blind'.
The boy in mid-air opened his parachute, saying, 'love never dies'.
Be wise, love is reasoning.
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Greatpeter (m)
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Hot angel I love this. please more of these jokes.
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kennyhunnyinn (m)
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Well girl they say love is blind but sometimes times love could really be that crazy because u are really n deeply in love so u do crazy things, until u fall in love u never knw what it entails. Is just like soundin u ain't jealous but seein da one u love in da arms of somebosy can make ya go gogogaga
cheers
Kenny Hunny Inn
a.k.a
Split Personality
Eloquent,diplomat cool cute n candid.
sigin out
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pkrix (m)
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It's almost like a man who wants to commit suicide and and the wife was begging him not to. She said "Are you going to leave the kids for me alone to cater for?"
Yet he insisted he was going to commit suicide. But just as he climbed a chair and affix a rope to a ceiling fan the wife went nude and he quickly removed the rope from his neck and refrain from commiting suicide and came down to do it with his wife.
Just imagine! He prefers sex to catering for his children.
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loma (m)
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There was this very rich Ibo man in Nnewi who had only one daughter.
When the daughter was of marriage age, the father sent news around town that all the eligible young men should come out on a particular day to compete in a test which would determine who was fit to marry his daughter.
On that set day, all the able-bodied young men came out. Some came with paper and biro and others with cutlasses and swords.
The rich man took them to his swimming pool and addressed the men: "any of you who can swim from one end of this swimming pool to the other would marry my daughter. In addition, I’ll give him 15 million naira, a car and a house so they can start of life well. I shall be waiting to meet my son-in-law at the other side. Good luck!"
As the young men, all very excited at the prospect of winning, started taking off their shirts, a helicopter came over the pool and dropped snakes and crocodiles into the pool.
Immediately all the men turned back and started wearing their shirts again. Dissapointed, some of them said “make de man go marry im pikin jo!”.
All of a sudden, they heard a splash in the pool. Everybody watched in amazement as one gentleman struggled his way across, avoiding the snakes and crocodiles. Finally, he made it to the other side as the would-be in-law, panting.
The rich man, could not believe it. He asked the man to name anything he wanted.
The man was still panting uncontrollably. Finally, he got himself together and made his request saying, “…show me the pesin wey… push me inside di swimming pool”
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loma (m)
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A naija man found himself lost and wandering in a forest. After a few hours trying to find his way, he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an old Chinese man with a long, grey beard.
"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the naija man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, stunningly beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the naija man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
But during the night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read,
"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones were better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read;
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
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loma (m)
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A Nigerian man living in Sweden decided to marry a Swedish woman in order to be legally certified via resident status... but the woman was not aware of this. She felt he really loved her. Anyway, seeing that Nigerian men had a bad rap in that particular part of Sweden, our chap decided to lie to the lady. He told her he was from Uganda.
After being married a while, the lady came home one day and informed our man that she had just met another Swedish lady who had married a Ugandan and they must all have dinner together.
The Naija man was worried and wondered how he'd get out of this wahala (trouble). He postponed and postponed the dinner until he couldn't find anymore excuses.
Finally, the day came when they were to have dinner. The other Swede came in with her Ugandan husband and they all sat at the table. Our Naija guy was very quiet. "My own don spoil today" was all he could think.
The two Swedish ladies, wanting their husbands to mingle, being from the same homeland, asked them to speak to each other. "Hey! It's not every day you meet people from home.!"
Our Naija man, being a man of great sense, decided that he would just speak Yoruba, and the guy would probably assume he was from some part of Uganda where they spoke a different language. So looking across the table he said: "Egbon Eko ni mi se? Ni bo lo ti ja wa?"( In Yoruba, this means: "I'm a Lagos man. Where do you come from?")
The fellow looked up at our friend. His eyes lit up as he said: "Ah, bobo gan! Omo Eko ni mi Se! Omo Eko gan gan!" (In Yoruba, this means "Hey buddy! I'm a Lagos child. A REAL Lagos child.")
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c0dec (m)
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loma my guy. your jokes are too long.
Arthur's Laws of Love:
(1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you remind them of someone else.
(2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person.
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nike4luv (f)
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But there are somethings u do because "you're in love"..u don realize dey are wrong because de love is blinding you and all that crap...
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dayojong (m)
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Ioma, that one about the NI-gandans was cool!
3 guys wanted to have a short chat with this cool black-american babe. unfortunately she lives on the 3rd floor and a creaky set of stairs leads to her room. To make matters worse, the father always sleeps downstairs with his old, rusty Ak47, guarding the beautiful girl against toasters.
On this fateful night, the Chinese guy decided to go have a chat with her first. As the stairs started creaking, the father woke up and shouted..''who goes there?''...''meow'' said the chinese guy.
Getting back downstairs a while later, he explained to the other guys that it's easy...''just pretend you're a cat''.
The french guy went upstairs and on confrontation from the father, did a long ''meeeoooww''.
Finally, it was the turn of our Naija bros: as the stairs started to creak again, the father shouted..''who goes there?''....''It's the cat sir''...he replied.
Needless to say, he was sent back home in a body bag.
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larriederm (m)
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what about this!
conversation between husband and wife;
woman: honey what are u thinking?
man: nothing!
woman: i have been looking at u since morning, busy looking at our weeding cirtificate!
man: well am just rechecking it may be i will see the expiring date!
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Tattooboy (m)
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Omo Eko gan gan mi
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kronkykay (m)
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damn good jokes
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