Born Again But Addicted To Sex

I aint downplaying nothing,its an addiction,its wrong,he would like to quit.With prayer for the grace and a conscentious effort on his part,he would get over the addiction.What am against is people playing God and also the fact that when you are born again the assumption is you are supposed to be instantly sinless.Being born again rather makes you sin less,and less,and less.It is gradual.So as much as i know sex addiction or any form of addiction is bad,judging or telling him how heinous it is,is a stale gist.He knows and the power of sin and temptation is what keeps him hooked.This power affects even the strongest of born agains.The stuff u explained the compounding factors aint so clear.But i suppose they are issues he needs to deal with in getting over the addiction.D point is lets all give him our take on the issue and he will decide on the what he should do.

Sorry my post came in thrice.My phone kept giving me network failure,retry!I didn't it was sent all the time i was retrying.MY BAD!!

I totally get what you're saying, and you have a right to be mad when people play God and all. And yeah, he does know that it's wrong, that's why he asked for help in the first place, but you don't know the intensity of his struggle or for how long he's been born again, or the reason as to why he is addicted to sex or what made him in the first place. That's the root of the problem. Telling him that he is doomed for eternity is as bad as being mad at him for playing God. Well, that's what I think, and that's why the whole condemnation thing is not going down my throat in any way. Ooops! I'm sorry. I just realized that the comment about downplaying all these factors was not for you but for Sir Kay, my bad. I guess that's why I didn't complete it until I quoted him completely. Sorry about that, however, the above is still valid, maybe not for you.

I've been trying to get this passage a long time ago. Now I get it.
Pro 24:16  For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.
The Lord knows our infirmities and that we are dust. But he still wants us to strive to perfection.

my dear,let us get something straight and stop decieving ourselves, while i'll encourage our brother to continue with chriastainity, i'll have to say this, once u are born again, u are now with God in spirit. that spirit makes it possible for u to HATE SIN, not just stop sin but hate it. that spirit makes it impossible to sin and so when once u sin that spirit is not with u at that moment
sex. hah. before u have sex, u have seen a lovely lady lustfully, imagined having sex with her, made ur plans and made ur moves. before finally laying the babe. tell me guys, do you know the number of sins in that process. what kind of excuse do we make for sin.

don't misinterprete the bible,know what God says about sex.ha dealt with his beloved David because of sex. when once u are born again u need to be with the holy spirit. nothing unholy comes before God and nothing is unholier that extramarital sex.

my dear brother, prayfor the holy spirit. u cannot be having extramarital sex and still want to answer a child of God.
all the best

@typop,
i'm not sure we are really opponents in this. i agree to what you said. i'm proud too of your sexual history( i can't boast of that record), but you see, this is the problem with many penticostal churches in nigeria. your point is great. i agree. wholly. but it may turn out to be a great excuse for easy recurrence in young christains. i tell you.

there is a thin dividing line between reality and encouragement. and we must identify this line and make decisions. encouragement is what you gave. it is from the heart but change may take time. i'll rather tell new converts the reality. nothing unholy come before God, change may take time but sin must be hated, rejected torn down by the roots.

this is God's word and must be told plainly. it may make a young convert loose hope of changing and that is where your theory comes into play. they must be encouraged to continue striving to thrive in God's family.

cheers mate, i respect you.

shalom

@JameZ
maybe I was too harsh on you, but I told you the truth.

@all that said that I was wrong in telling the poster he wasnt born again if he was still addicted to sex:
have any of you ever read your Bible to the portion where it says:
"Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin" (I John 3:9).
"Whosoever is born of God sinneth not" (5:18).

There are 6 tests that one is truly born again:
1) No Habitual sin, JameZ' addiction to sex according to  is habitual sin
2) Believing in Christ
3)Practicing Righteousness , JameZ' additiction to sex(with any other person who is not his lawfully wedded wife) is gross Unrighteousness
4) Loving other Christians, if JameZ sexual partner is also a Christian, then the Bible-defined-kind of love is the one that will not lead a fellow Christian into sin. In this case, JameZ is constantly leading her into sin.
5) Overcoming the world, sex is one of the great weapons of satan's temptation to man today.
6) "Keep thyself pure", thats what the Bible says. Sinful sexual escapades does not amount to purity.

@JameZ
please, note, I'm not condemning you. Total surrender to Jesus Christ will take those Lusts out of your heart and Life.
Also, with or without the been born-again, think about this: A-I-D-S

time to re-define this born again thing

Here are some of the changes:

Rom 6:14 - For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

2Co 5:17 - Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold,
                  all things are become new.

The struggles of the flesh may still be there, but the 'change' is a living experience that sees things as different: the desire to sin is not in the new nature given to a believer when he/she is born again.

Rom. 3:23 is not a continous tense: it's a statement of fact that changes when one receives Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour. That's why the Bible goes on to say: "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?" (Rom. 6:1-2). If we ever were to remain the same as falling short of God's glory, none of us could have been accepted before God. But then, it's a statement of fact that we are indeed made 'accepted' in Christ (Eph. 1:4-6) and also glorified in Him (Rom. 8:30).

Grace does not let things remain the same - the moment a person experiences the grace of God, there is a definite change that is effected in that person's life and experiences.

@Ashbaby

Yes, its true, you give your life to Jesus today, you don't become an angel in a flash. It will take your own commitment if you want to become an angel.

Sorry, the tense of Rom 3:23 is not continuous for a believer, it implies what a sinner was before. Because the natural man was born in sin, he is cut short of Gods glory, but when that man repents, Gods glory is restored, and ROm 3:23(and its accompanying sins) becomes past tense to him. Rom 3:23 is continuous for those who want to remain in sin.

And why are they not supposed to go. As long as the sex is not with your lawful partner, then forget it, its sin. If after marriage, you have sex with your husband 365days/year, God is not frowning at it.

I quoted my 1 John 5:9 to refute the ideas some of the posters were making/their suggestions that JameZ might be born again and might still be addicted to sex. Its good to call a spade a spade, because without putting things in their normal perspective, we can't identify the problem.

And yes, its possible to live daily without sin.

@Ajisafe

Its like something else is making you angry,,,,nothing related to the question of JamesZ and the contributions of the rest of us. No one is saying that if one had-sex before, he cannot be born again. We are all going to get married someday and will definitely have more sex. What I'm saying is that continuing in sin(fornication, adultery, stealing, armed robbery, murder), SIN is bad. And regardless of whether it was sex or not that JamesZ talked about, what if it was something like armed robbery. Would you advice JamesZ to continue in the armed robbery and still be rest assured that he is born-again.

The question is: What changed in you when you gave your life to Jesus.

If nothing changed, then theres a question mark about your profession.

You can find many like-minds to discuss that with on Nairaland.

@4get_me
Please, tell them!!!!

@debosky
sorry, youre wrong sir. If you are still addicted to sin after giving your life to Jesus, in fact youve not even started.
After living the life of a hired killer, and you get born again, could you still say you are still addicted to hired-killing and go and commit the next murder and yet deem yourself to be born-again? tell me.

The problem with many "Christians" today is that their Christianity is in name-only.
How about Christianity in Deed?
How about Christianity in truth?

@ Kimba u disagree that christians can be addicted? when u give ur life to Christ, when do you become a christian? is is when u finally stop all the bad things you used to do or immediately you put your faith in Christ? I believe we are saved and become christians immediately we accept Christ, but young believers still have a lot of traits of unbelievers, that don't make them not christians. just wanted to clarify that. we are to grow till we attain the full stature and knowledge of Christ. depending on what crap we've been into before, it takes time. Nevertheless i agree with ur advice for james, the link i posted has a structured program to help him achieve the goals in your post. www.settingthecaptivesfree.com

@debosky
I didnt really get what you wanted to clarify. What ive been trying to advise the poster is:
He can't claim to be Born again and at the same time be addicted to sex. The two can't go together. Its either he'll forget God and continue in his sin or Cleave to God and forget Unholy sex.
Jesus and Satan will not sit at the same table to negotiate because of anyone.


@Typop
Yes, thats what we are talking about. JamesZ has to put his body under the subjection of "I cannot do this thing and get to heaven". He has to make a choice. The truth is its not easy to break free from sin. Its takes real and plenty of Gods grace and personal determination.

@JamesZ
Hope the contributions are helping you. More grace to your elbows. You will be victorious, don't worry.

I sincerely hope everyone replying to this thread is a saint

sex is all over it's a stronge feelings

Hey, let me give you practical advise. Forget all the religious quotations because Iam sure you would have come accross them yourself and when it really matters, if you like have the whole bible and Quran in your head, they will not avail you till the deed is done. What you need at this time is first re-evaluating your lifestyle, then prayers. I have to say some of what I tell you now are personal strategies. I am not married, and I have never had sex. The only way I am able to do this is simple. For the most part, I do not deceive myself that I will be able to resist my desires when I am alone with a lady, so I try not to be alone with them. In other words, I am honest with myself, a virtue you seem to also possess. The next thing is your thoughts control you-yes it's true I have not had sex, but I am not pure either. What do I mea"? In my head I have thoughts that are unholy about my affairs with women. Whenever I harbor such thoughts, I find myself being spiritually weak, but what do I do? I fight it with prayers. I tell God, even the Prophet Joseph (ASW) said he was weak against women, and it was only God that delivered him, so God, help me against them.

And sometimes, this sexual pressure for me is released in the form of wet dreams. Another thing, if you feel that personal contact arouses you and makes you lose control, you could try not having such contacts. Eg like shaking, hugging, or kissing girls. When you set such stringent standards for yourself, you willbe on the road to recovery.

However, do not mind Dauda, don't cut your D, , instead I will suggest you fast as this reduces the sexual urge. You cab pick two days in a week, say Monday andthursday, and fast on these days. It will do you a lot of good. And anywhere you go, be with like minded people. Be with your brethren who will encourage you not to have sex.

Now I made all the suggestions in the assumption that you are talking of some form of extramarital, or premarital relationship. If it is however within the confines of marriage, well I say keep having sex, you'll soon get tired of it.