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BTreasures
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Am married with kids, still young, I love my husband dearly, but he doesnt want intimacy with me, we discuss general issues very well, but on an intimate level we don't really get along fine, I currently have someone toasting me real hard am tripping for the guy but wont want to hurt my hubby by going into such a relationship, the guy appreciates me, we only communicate by text and phone call, but I really am afraid of what might happen if I set eyes on this guy again. I don't no if to tell oga, but in his usually way, he doesnt count it as important at all. NLanders make una help me o.
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Oba-j (m)
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Speak wit your husband about it and clear it out, don't touch that forbidden fruit outside your marriage or u'll live 2 regret it like adam and eve and that is real talk
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sylvao2000 (m)
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@poster lf you cheat on your husband God almighty will not forgive you, how can you fall for another man, so you got married because of sex?  l guess, well l feel so sorry for your poor husband, if you think your husband will not know just remember God is watching you:: You should have tell us how many guys you have mess with instead of coming here to voice out rubbish My dear you are bringing down your household with your smelling feelings, WATCH URSELF |
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$ammy (m)
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Get a dildo or something.PLEASE DONT BE AN ADULTRESS
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oseahumenb
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Hello people,
Make una take am easy with this woman,she only asked una for help so that she no go fall where Adam fall put.
I think some of us were too hard on this woman,what she requested for,she simply asked for our advice and not condemnation.
My advice to you is that you should discuss with your husband not about this lover boy but about your marraige,then take some time off your busy schedule to rest and go out for a treat.You can even go the extra lenght to sponsor the cost of the outing.
And if your a christian, both of u can see your pastor or at least his pastor privately. Talk with him regularly,go to the cinimals together or public shows or party.
Remove your mind from that boy.Adultery has a prize not for only u but your children.In some parts of Nigeria,if a woman engages in adultery,the children start dying one-by-one.
So I urge u my sister flee Adultery.
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olanajim (m)
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The issue goes beyond mere talking. Fortunately, it is not yet a crisis. Definitely, it may snowball into one if you take wrong step or if you fail to address the issue on time.
What did you mean by intimacy? Sex, I supposed?
You should realize that sex is an issue that can make or mar any beautiful relationship. Therefore you must handle it with utmost care. Sometimes, couple may not have similar appetite for sex. Talking alone would not help especially if your partner has low sexual drive. It might as well aggravate the problem. The man may interprete your action negatively.
Communication therefore is a way out. I hope you understand there is a great difference between communication and talking. The sentence " I WANT TO HAVE SEX", can be interpreted by your listener in many ways. Therefore, you must endeavour to address the issue with wisdom.
With kids, I imagine that the two of you had had wonderful times in the past. Or how else did he impregnated you. Sure, there are some "sharp shooters" out there who can impregnate a lady at a drop. They are not many. Now, I don't just believe your hubby would just lost interest without reason if he had been active before. And if he had not been active before, you may still have to ask why you marry him in the first place knowing he is a "one minute man".
Remember how you went about it before marriage. Seduce him, have foreplays, create special moments, tickle him. Perhaps you having been neglecting your own appearance, shape up.
In case he is an extremely busy man. Your best bet is to create a timetable that fit into his schedules. Communicate this to him. You too should get busy on something while he is engaged in his vocation. That would take your mind off the gigolo. You don't need that. And if you are a nymph, take to the advice given above- GET DILDOS. It would save your marriage.
Somehow, I believe you can cope. Find out what his problem is then act on your finding.
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angola_g (m)
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@Poster
Was there any misunderstanding between the both of you?
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Seun (m)
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I think she's just looking for an excuse to sleep with the other guy. Husband says no ko,husband says no ni. Why did the husband say no? |
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Ralvy (m)
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Kai seun . . .u to de make too much sense . . .
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tommyex (m)
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@Poster
I believe what SEUN said,from your write up,u have almost done the deed.
But we ll jus say what we think is the best advice for you
tell your husband about d problems u havin with your romance/family life
I think its something u can sort out.The problem is that he aint talking and as a female u somehow feel its not your responsiblity to talk
Just pick up some responsiblity and solve this problem
God help u at least 4 d kids' sake
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Kobojunkie
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Go Loose weight. Dress Better. Change your evil ways, Do something different to get your husband to fall in love with you again, instead of spend time fantasizing about other men. And by the way, if you are claiming you do not want to be an adulterer and you are speaking of the Christian definition. Jesus said if you THINK IT, yOU DON IT . So No need having a pity party, DO SOMETHING TO EARN yourself what you want in your relationship.
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dada22 (m)
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woman u don't need any one outside your marraige,period! no reason what so eva should make u do that, sleepin outside your matrimonial home comes wit special curses u might never imagine now. if u were single,ma advice 'd hav been different,let your children remember u as a VIRTUOUS WOMAN God sees everytin,take your case 2 Him & let Him work on your husband, i promise u,u'll come here later 2 tell us how he changed. let your husband know u really cherish him & don't want 2 loose him 4 anytin, talk 2 him wit passion in your eyes, remind him how u both started & how u both felt while courting u know exactly what 2 do- watch your shape,dresses & look lovely like u were when he was *toastin* u  it's not so easy as it may sound but it won't be as difficult as dealing wit divorce or raising your kids witout their dad,not 2 mention God's wrath, cheers & good luck.Arthur |
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bimbliss (f)
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well the most imprtant advice as others have said is never ti engage in adultery for any reason but i think the problem originated from break in proper communication btwn the both of u.
try to establish good and intimate communication skills it will go a long way. change sime things u know your husband doesnt loke because so many married women piss their husbands off with children issues and the likes, so watch it, don't just put the blame on him first try to find out where u are missing it
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jamesod (m)
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The fact that you communicatiing with another guy at this level in your marriages implies that you're digging your grave. If your husband doesn't want sex with you, try your female instinct and seduce him, when you give him an improve version of lovemaking, he'll beg for more. I guess u're not creative enough that's why he's not been desiring u  |
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akara (m)
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Has your husband got another bit on the side? Try find out, If he found you attractive enough to make babies, what could have gone wrong?
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finekid (m)
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@ topic
Many good counsels have already been offered. And as a married woman, I’m sure you know that it’s totally wrong for you to date another man, much less sleep with him! The very first thing you need do is sever relationship with this guy. I mean immediately, with no apologies (I suppose he is already aware that you are married). Then find a way to resolve whatever the problem with your marriage is.
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odada (m)
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@topic my dear the one mistake you will be making is to sleep with this other guy,why on earth did it ever occur to you that in your matrimonial home you should be getting jitters from an admirer?you sound like you are really horny and want to get laid-----then dear work on it with your hubby?there are lots of ways you could seduce the old man and get his willy clamouring for your attention!i used to feel that way about my girlfriend of 6years(i.e i was tired of sleeping with her) but i learnt to overcome that and these days i don't get aroused by any other female except her even when i watch musical videos with all the hot sexy mamas i see my girlfriend's face and physique in theirs! go back to your courting times,what you used to do for fun?what turns your hubby on?take a weekend off to a lovely resort( you could leave the kids with family),get your MOJO back,and please my dear stop CALLING and TEXTING this other dude--let him understand you are a MARRIED WOMAN.cheers  |
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spoilt (f)
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all these single underaged people giving advice sef.  |
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Alsutan
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Abeg try and keep your marriage save b,cous of your 4 kids. May God help u.
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Coleslove
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Seduce Him. This is no crime he is yours Contact my email for the book ART OF SEDUCTION
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Coleslove
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Lest i forget. This should not be enough reason for you to start hopping beds. You have decided to live with your current man as your husband. then you just have to accept whatever you are faced with and see or think on what you can do about it.
If i am to pass a verdict. You are guilty (Intention to date is equal dating) Moreover you have started a flirting spree. Hey watch it. Let your had i know come now than later.
Good day
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naijacutee (f)
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Look at all the hypocrites here, looking for the speck in some else's eye. The lady hasn't done anything and you guys have already crucified her! If it was a married man, who some 'outside' girl was interested in, I bet your reactions would not be the same. Some of you guys would even encourage him to "eat from a different pot". (Yes, I've heard that before!.) I'm not trying to encourage the lady to do anything with this other guy - It's very true that she would only be asking for trouble if she did. . . . But you guys, please judge people the way you would like to be judged, if you were in their shoes.
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Seun (m)
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What else can we say? She didn't bother to tell us why her husband said no. Instead she was praising her new "man".
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nwando
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The man needs viagra or levitra.
@ poster slip some in his drink and watch him perform wonders.
kidding
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romeo (m)
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some people are busy bashing this lady!! maybe the husband is seeing another woman
And she is yet to tell us if the husband had always been like that since they started dating or had a sudden change of attitude towards sex
so the story is not complete
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bonjoconjo
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i think u need to do other things other than the boring sexie the usual missionary style.u need to learn how to drive his nuts nutttttttttttttttttttttttts.be creative,do other things like blowing him up unannounced while he is sleeping,.we usually like women who use their brain to discover new sexual styles , if not he will keep running away from u , try blowing him up and forget that your missionary freestyling that is so grouse, understand girl.do something new and crazy. we are not that strong at heart.
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Gwazah (m)
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Helo forget about other thought.
ask your husband if there is any thing he might have contact outside is true. experience shows that if some husband make love with another woman outside and discover immediately that she is possitive they may avoid you not because they don't want but to spare u
but if it is not so ask him if u offend without knowing or he suspect u, he should tell u, u are ready to appologise.
i am sorry.
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tEsLim (m)
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I have a similar situation at hand. I think its the woman always causing this typa wahala. After those kids they just want to look as horrible as possible around the house. THey're so boring to even share bed with after few years!!!. Wake u up in the middle of the night sometimes to talk sh-t that make nosense. This what i think 1. She could be out of shap 2. Have bad approach to the sex thing with him 3. She's gotta greater libido than that dude 4. Dude's always tired and she's an housewife, that goes nowhere. 5. Dude's seeing some fine ass girls out there 6, She just want to have an excuse to sleeping with that man Damn!! she's a liar. I just remembered this. Some women want it about three times in a day. everyday. If u miss one night she'll be like can u remember when last we had it? ? damn, i'm crazy for this one. I don't talk like this. but i'm crazy for this one. |
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@tomX (m)
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Hi Poster,
I truly sympathise with you. Your husband must be going through a period of low libido. It's not un common. Depending on his age (is he approaching 40) it might also be a mid-life crisis. This is a period when men seek to re-identify themselve. It's characterised with a lot of confusion (just like in the adolescent years).
You need to identify is responsible for your husbands lack of libido. and counter it intelligently. He may be stressedmout from work and may need you to help him unwind either through games, site-seeing, clubing etc. and the good times will follow naturaly. He may be afraid of having more kids and hence withdrawing from you.
He may have some suspicions about you and wants to keep his distance so he can observe you objectively. Give him as much reasurance as possible.
He may (I dread this bit) be in another afair. You need to roll out the big guns and win him back pronto.
Their are many magazines that deal with this kinds of issues so do some buying and reading. Encourage hime to also buy and read "Men's Health Magazine" regularly. It has a lot of sex health tips for men. You can read it too so as to get some pointers to the way a mans mind functions.
Finaly be a very good pal (not just a wife) to your husband. Engage him in his favorite activities such as sports and also discover new one's together.
STOP COMMUNICATING WITH "THE OTHER GUY". Yes, flee all appearances of evil.
best of luck.
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mellow (m)
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Go ahead baby girl, go out there and have fun but at the expence of your marriage.
How did you get into the situation of meeting another who seriously toasting you
and whom you are shamelessly tripping for? How am I sure you have not been eating
the forbidden friut before? Don't place guit on your Hubby to rationalize and justify your sins.
You need Jeez in your life so that you can appreciate that sex is not all and all of a marriage
relationship. How long will you continue sleeping around? Remember that thr devil you know is
more valuable than the Angel you have never seen and a bird at hand is worth more than a 100
in the bush.
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get your husband a booster and keep being sexy then recall and display those qualities that initially attracted him 
