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StanLord
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:'(I had this good Girl that i love so so much.Did all i could to make her happy like Pray with her encourage and plan with her,not 2 talk of all i bought for her.I did all i could 2 make her Happy.That i even engaged her.All was so good until she entered the University.She's is one Pretty Good Girl anyone could be proud of.2 cut the long story short right now she does'nt talk to me(the highest is Hi).And i learnt that she is dating someone she introduced me to in her school as her friend.I tried getting her back despite all she said and did,but i guess it all pissed her off the more.But my worry is that anytime she sees me expercially in the church,she'll smile and walk pass and when i say hi she says hi.She try as much as possible to avoid me.But for me even if we can't be in that r/ship at least frds b/because of the goodtimes we have had.Some frds advice that i forget her frdship.though it';s hard but i really do need the House Advice:'
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efuah (f)
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that ungrateful one!  like i always say, dnt waste your time on things that r not worth it! she's not worth even your friendship, leave her, forget about her n move on with your life |
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dellynash (f)
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hello stanlord just take it easy its true you have had some nice time together but if she keeps ignoring and avoiding you then i guess u should leave her alone if she is yours she will surely come back to you one day.OK
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Sky-walker (m)
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You are a man ooo.No allow any woman rubbish you.Free her.You will find a better woman
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jkpretty (f)
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just leave her, act like u don't even send her, if u've been calling her before, stop calling her, don't be friends wit her, just forget her.
thats the logic, people hate to be ignored even if they don't need u for anything, but---they'll one day want to know why u've stopped bothering.
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jkpretty (f)
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just leave her, act like u don't even send her, if u've been calling her before, stop calling her, don't be friends wit her, just forget her.
thats the logic, people hate to be ignored even if they don't need u for anything, but---they'll one day want to know why u've stopped bothering.
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ufobabe (f)
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all things were made beautiful in your time and u are a precious jewel.
let her be. don't be tempted 2 flash her even.just behave as if she never exist before. free your mind because in a bid 2 fight your real and imagined situation, u may end up being frustratingly irritable.
just take heart and give her a break.
sorry, u will be heal soon.
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uf4oma (f)
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This girl was obviously very young when you met her since she just got into the university now. She has met other guys and she wants to test the waters with them. I will advise that you let her be for now. It's tough, I know but she needs some space. Your heart is obviously broken and you are terribly hurt by her insensitivity. Don't be bitter, forgive her and try to move on as hard as this may be. Look around you, at your place of work, even in the church, there may well be one or two girls who may have been trying to catch your attention. Have some casual female friends and dates(I don't mean casual sexual relations oooo, before I'm misquoted). This will help you appreciate others and set you on the path to recovery. You cannot protect her, so let her go and get her own heart broken, then she will know what she has lost. And maybe by then, you have moved on? Who knows? When you meet in church, be as casual as possible with her if you run into each other. Don't seek her out or go out of your way to her to inquire about her welfare. Give yourself time, you will get over it.
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olanajim (m)
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If what you said are truth, Stanlord, forgeting her is one of the most difficult things to do. Do it anyway!
Everyone above had given you what is naturally the best advice. Go for it.
When you meet her anywhere, show no malice. Say "hi" act as if you have never seen her before. Act as if she didn't hurt you but herself. Her mind would be in confusion if she has any conscience. That is why she avoids you anyway. She is human, and every normal human finds guilt conscience a heavy burden to carry.
Don't think of the past, look at the presence and anticipate a brighter future. If you are indeed Godly, just consider all you have done for her in the past as act of charity for God and hamanity. God would give you someone better if you trust Him.
Personally issue like this hurts because most of us are selfish in nature. I learnt very early in life (while in primary school) to do thing without expecting direct reward from the beneficiaries. That way, ingratitute from him or her does not even come up when the other person deviated.
When you give, or do somebody a favour in anticipation of love exchange, you enter into a risky business. Just like insurance. In this case, to insure your love. You are paying a premium which may not be paid back to you. Depending on many factors.
Lovers who give for the sake of love ALONE must realize they are paying premium to their partner. It is not everybody that pay to insurance firm that would get full benefit. Often time, you discover that you are helping the firm to meet their obligations to other customers!
The way out is to try as much as possible to be an unselfish but wise giver. That way, when your beneficiary disappoint, it is easier to leave him or her to God for judgement. Somehow, l had never seen anyone offend God and go scot free. Unless he/she repent. God is fair.
Everything we do to our fellowmen, good or bad, are judged by our intentions. And will inevitably come back to us at a later date, GREATLY MULTIPLIED.
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eesaah (m)
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If what you said are truth, Stanlord, forgeting her is one of the most difficult things to do. Do it anyway!
Everyone above had given you what is naturally the best advice. Go for it.
When you meet her anywhere, show no malice. Say "hi" act as if you have never seen her before. Act as if she didn't hurt you but herself. Her mind would be in confusion if she has any conscience. That is why she avoids you anyway. She is human, and every normal human finds guilt conscience a heavy burden to carry.
Don't think of the past, look at the presence and anticipate a brighter future. If you are indeed Godly, just consider all you have done for her in the past as act of charity for God and hamanity. God would give you someone better if you trust Him.
Personally issue like this hurts because most of us are selfish in nature. I learnt very early in life (while in primary school) to do thing without expecting direct reward from the beneficiaries. That way, ingratitute from him or her does not even come up when the other person deviated.
When you give, or do somebody a favour in anticipation of love exchange, you enter into a risky business. Just like insurance. In this case, to insure your love. You are paying a premium which may not be paid back to you. Depending on many factors.
Lovers who give for the sake of love ALONE must realize they are paying premium to their partner. It is not everybody that pay to insurance firm that would get full benefit. Often time, you discover that you are helping the firm to meet their obligations to other customers!
The way out is to try as much as possible to be an unselfish but wise giver. That way, when your beneficiary disappoint, it is easier to leave him or her to God for judgement. Somehow, l had never seen anyone offend God and go scot free. Unless he/she repent. God is fair.
Everything we do to our fellowmen, good or bad, are judged by our intentions. And will inevitably come back to us at a later date, GREATLY MULTIPLIED.
Nice talk my brother. |
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StanLord
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I really do appreciate all the advice that i'm getting.Though i doubt if i'll ever forget her(i know that i'll always love inside) but i just have to move on with my life.But honestly! it's affecting me as a person.As in, I don't think I'll love that much again expect my wife.I tried dating a banker, i descover an attitute my Ex had,B4 u know it, I slacked in the Frdship,same goes to another (I'm so Sacred of being hurt)It has been a yr and six mths yet when i c her (occasionally though) it still hurt.But Honestly i appreciate all the advice
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olanajim (m)
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You would get over it if only you want to. It is a choice. Human being has the power to alter their thoughts. Ask anybody that had experienced heartbreak and they would tell you they thought the world would end.
By the way, what attitude did your ex had that you find in the banker?
It is obvious you are a mature person, you must be strong. Don't be pessimistic just because of one human. You would be making greater mistake and drawing good people away from you. Is it her beauty? She is a nobody until she graduate.
You are strong enough to withstand this. Draw from your inner strength, you would be glad you do.
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olanajim (m)
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You would get over it if only you want to. It is a choice. Human being has the power to alter their thoughts. Ask anybody that had experienced heartbreak and they would tell you they thought the world would end.
By the way, what attitude did your ex had that you find in the banker?
It is obvious you are a mature person, you must be strong. Don't be pessimistic just because of one human. You would be making greater mistake and drawing good people away from you. Is it her beauty? She is a nobody until she graduate.
You are strong enough to withstand this. Draw from your inner strength, you would be glad you do.
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chukz4real (m)
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Once experienced same problem. the panacea was given to me by another lady (friend to the girl that did same to me). All u gat 2 do is, look for a very pretty girl, I man any girl that is like an angel and display before her. The person could be a relative or whoever, and she will be jealous and come back begging. Ask Efuah, they know it realy works  Alternativly, change where you worship and try by all means to avoid her as much as u can |
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olanajim (m)
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Chuks,
it definitely work wonder. I have seen men apply the same techniques, I strongly recommend it. It had side effect though and that is the guys attitude.
Funny enough, this is what most ladies see that made them conclude that men are heartless. Just because a man choose a drastic solution to nagging problem and refuse to cry does not mean he was not hurt. He was only protecting his manly pride.
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uf4oma (f)
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Basically, you need to heal, my brother and you need to let yourself heal. You have to stop holding on to this thing and the past that has kept you from getting on with your life. You can get over any hurt and pain. Like someone else said, it's a choice and I think 1 year and 6 months is long enough to make that choice. Get over it.
@olanajim, that's not why we think you men are heartless. You men are truly heartless. I have spoken to another lady on this forum and we are thinking of starting a thread, ANY FAITHFUL MEN IN THE HOUSE? We have seen much more of men's heartlessness than of ladies hurting men!
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jkpretty (f)
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Once experienced same problem. the panacea was given to me by another lady (friend to the girl that did same to me). All u gat 2 do is, look for a very pretty girl, I man any girl that is like an angel and display before her. The person could be a relative or whoever, and she will be jealous and come back begging. Ask Efuah, they know it realy works Alternativly, change where you worship and try by all means to avoid her as much as u can It dosn't always work that way, a guy asked me out for like three years, while at school, we were good friends though but i told him i couldn't date him, stating my reasons, he thought some thing could still happen, because i was still very good to him, more so, he hasn't ever gotten rejected by a girl, as i noticed, so it was hard for him to believe my reason for saying no. At some point he got a girl, that was really pretty & fitted so perfectly in his car, he drove around with her to where ever, until my friends came to me & started telling me his got someone else, since i was being stubborn. I felt very ok with it because i had my reasons for saying NO. He came to tell me later that the girl was a cousin of his, we laughed over it & we r stil friends till date. My point is don't look for things to still tie your mind down, just forget about anything to catch attention. Make it a closed book. I'm sure u'll realize its not worth it soon. |
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webmoney
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I went through this kind of experience a long time ago, although we were about the same age.
What I did was to let go and move ahead.
What suprised me most was that after some time, she started getting in touch with me again, trying all sorts of comeback games but at the time she didnt even fit into my world no more. She arranged for us to meet and at the meeting I saw that she hadnt matured one bit, I seemed to be light years ahead socially and all.
All I can remember feeling for her at the time was pity, Really, home boy you have to move ahead. Hanging out with such a person will draw you back in all areas. If she can get distracted now and you want her back, then you will be "DISTRACTION" personified.
One love
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uchetobi (f)
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Move on with your life my dear. Allow yourself grieve so you can move on
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himaggie
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I just want to add some things to the advice people had given u. Infact, u don't no what God has done for you by letting her out of your way, maybe she is not the type of woman God wants for u. there is this saying that 'every dissapointment is a blessing' u don't no whether d dissapointment u've gotten from this girl would bring lots of blessings and a viterous woman whose price is far above rubis to u. My advice is that u should just forget her completely, God will bring u the real woman that will love and cherish u. Even if its not easy u hav to do it, don't going following the girl around as if she's d most beautiful girl in the world and doing this will even make her 2 be more arrogant. You hav to hav some Pride left in you to. you don't hav to become a fool in front of her. Just try and forget her completely please i beg u. And don't blame her, is because she is jjc in the university i think thatz what is making her to feel high, u know now she is just getting exposed, which i know she will regret 1 day and by that time u would hav gone far. Just forget and move on with your life am sure if she had died u would not hav died with her u woud get over it on day, God will give u your own woman in Jesus name Amen
Take heart and God bless.
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Bblak (f)
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It's one of those things.Thogh it's not easy getting over such quickly but the earlier you do that the better for you.Cmon move on with your life ok.Best of luck
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sylvao2000 (m)
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@poster , please try and let it go you will surely get a better girl l promise you that, there are alot of good ladies out there who are ready to stay by you, just take it easy with yourself read your Bible and pray, l know is hard but you must let it go off your heart, Just a joke ( No standby ) l mean no girl was on the bench to take over the space just a joke ooo before some insultive nairalanders come and eat me why l still breath |
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Echerem@
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I behave as if nothing has happened whenever a girl try to turn me down or left me brroken-heart. This have been working so well for me and had made me not to fall in love with any girl untill i get married. It always give them thought if they try to abandon you and your behaviour is not showing hurt, they felt hurt, because one thing with women is that they want to hurt you and see you feel hurt.
Just give it a trial, start dressing more good and alway have smile on your face, im assuring you one day this girl will like to talk to you. Women are like that whenever your into relationship with any lady and she knew she have not been faithful she will be feeling ashame of herself but you will not know the next step she will take is to avoid you. But sooner or later they always regret that action as they will see the good things about you which the present guy don't have but maybe, it would have been late to come back.
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dasilver22
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its so unfortunate that you experienced that, but must confess that all advice given had not been GOOD! You know the reason i said so? Good, just listen. I can't remember the poster saying anything about finding out the reason behind the girl's behaviour. For all i care, this could be a communication problem! She might have heard something about him (which ofcourse she didnt confirm) and he has heard too that she is going out with someone else (of which he didnt make any confrontation- I am drawing my conclusion from his post). In all, i believe both parties should come to a "square" table and talk (i.e. if its not too late already), then Mr. Poster will have a clue, if not outrightly know, the reason the girl doesnt want him anymore. I believe after this has been "successfully" done without any "success", then all the advice of my fellow nairalanders can be very valid and useful. Otherwise, you may be crucifying her for what you caused yourself! Its possible you didnt even know and understand who she was and what she wants in life. And that is the major reason why we have so many broken relationships every where, we don't communicate our true feelings, wants, dislikes and likes. We assume "this is what this person likes and wants" without asking or finding out what he or she really wants. And what do u have after that? A DISSATISFIED AND IRRITATED SPOUSE/PARTNER. My brother, if its still possible, try and find out the main reasons she left you but if they are stupid reasons "BONE THE CHICKEN" Its not worth killing yourself about (except sey u wowo like OB, ). Just an advice from a bro who knows what you are going through. |
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mendax
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so love really exists?!!! honestly i thot it was just a word!
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dupebaby (f)
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it is so hard to hear something like that, but like they said, a woman go, many to come, don;t depend on her to come back, soon, i mean very soon, the guy she;s running after will leave her for someone else,
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olatrape
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expect the best in life, end of relationship is not the end of life. cheer up my brother, forget the past forge ahead with your life. You will still find another woman that you will appreciate more than the last girl.
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fabulous10 (m)
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My brother, na so girls be.Just forget her before u start to de kolo!
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MT
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My contribution is simple.
See your present situation as a challenge to ADD VALUE to your life, so that when next she sees you, she will know what a gem she has stupidly lost.
She will come back begging and like Hadley Chase says, you will have the last laugh!.
I'm talking from experience brother
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ebunife (f)
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My brother, life (they say) is a teacher, the more we live the more we learn ! Like a lot of the nairalanders have said, you need to package yourself better than before now and be a better person in all ramification.
I had the same issue with a guy and just like your case, he didnt tell me y as well so i decided to look better and present myself well. The truth is: there was a day he had to say (guess he couldnt hold it anymore) that "na wah o these days you get a lot of head turned when u pass by" and i just said THANK YOU MY DEAR.
See there are some ladies who are ready to cut off their hands just for you to have them- so please bro, soji, open your eyes and let the past be.
Love is not self seeking. To me even if she comes begging, use her do small sharaka before u reconsider or betterstill forget her kpatakpata (even though its very hard).
Pele ehn na so LOVE be
Shalom !
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THO
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I can see that majority are telling u to forget her, if u are a true friend as u made me to believe just don't push her away yet, try and find out what is wrong or ask one of your friend to do so,
we have only heard from u so i can not just conclude on one thing.
who knows whether she is charmed,
call her to order, and make sure she is working wt her real sense.
who kns where u are d cause.
I'm not saying that u must go out wt her but just kn what is wrong.
I pray that God will guide u.
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kaydkay (m)
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Take heart my brother u can WIN them all the time (relationships is like a RACE, You either WIN or LOSE!!).
Move on and believe me (from experience) their are a thousand and one girls out their that are far better than the girl you think you can do without.
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