Speaking Out Against The Bride Price Practice

a man pays the bride price and a woman brings the dowry into home after the marriage ceremony.and i think u exagerrated a bit when u said they r asked to bring a cock with 1 eye.it's not a ritual they r doin.anyway bride price where i come from is 24naira and i'm sure most people if not everybody can aford 24naira.
in my opinion i think payin the bride price is also a way of thanking the girls family 4 lettin 1 marry their daughter.

this is what i heard happens in a village near umuahia, the youth association demanded settlement of about N50000 by this time they had less all the tyres of one of the cars in which the guy and his associates came, the women of the village demanded another N150000 to cook the food which they said will be served to the guy and his associates plus family members not exceeding fifteen by the way. This people had paid about N20000 for the cleaning of the compound.

Now to the real deal, the famous box wherein so many types of wrappers and clothes for the would be wife amounted to N200000 but they promised to help the guy so he could bring N100000 and they will lend him some to make the box heavy. It is pertinent to note that this box will be left in girl's fathers house for her sibblings to enjoy. N20000 was used by the boy to arrange the drinks for some special members of the girls family to accompany the invitation cards

The white wedding and reception is another thing altogether.  Even if he earns N120000 a month that will be quite something.

i am still waiting for my definitions.

Word!

@alj
Hmmm, which principle are we talking about here? i doubt i can answer that, because the guy i'm with would want to make me happy, and i'm sure he sees as i do--wanting things done the right way. Plus, we both come from educated families, i don't see who wants to start haggling over my bones--i think i can leave proper instructions for where i want to be buried and my family would have to conform. He has sisters and their bride prices were paid, so why would he want to do otherwise! i don't think bride price is something that should be compromised, because i know of women who are married and their husbands didn't pay their bride price and everyday they keep crying "maybe if you'd paid my bride price you'd treat me better" for me i don't want to have that as an excuse,

this is the 21st century!!! plz ohhh no one should 'pay for my head'!!!

@bunkbobo
are you a nigerian?

I think this bride price should even go because some men take advnatge of it,

Imagine you are denied the marriage of a girl you truely love and truely loves you, just because you cannot pay the bride price.
The reality is that the imposition of exorbitant bride price has affected our girls in some quarters of Igbo society. Some Men will simply go bancrupt after fullfilling the the items in the "List"some will therefore go for a relatively fair bride price they can afford especially considering the present economic situation in the country.
I think the tradition is outdated and should be abandoned, for it is anti-marriage and anti-social. because the more marriage there are in the society, the more stable will be the society.

hmm so naija bros should now budjet for brideprice, traditional wedding, whitewedding, and divorce

lolol somethings gotta give.

i am neutral on the bride price issue, what i don't like is the useless vilage women, and youth association who i ahve never seen in my life comin into my house and demanding things of my husband to be because we come from the same village, when i get married if htey try tha tnonsense i will have bouncers there who will gladly kick them out.  if i invite u to come and eat ogba and drink palmwine, bring your self chopulate until u bellefull, then get out, whether u are aunty, uncle cousin or distant cousin.  The moment u open your mouth talking about he should bring ke na ke, thats it u are OUT.

wonder why our initial tendencies av always been to throw out the baby wit the bathwater!
                      latest discovery on some families:
                                                   brideprice = slavery
so what should we do? me, me, me! yes? lets throw it all out! hurrraayyyyyy!

@bunkbobo
what makes something culture? should it be defined by new-fangled understandings? i think u shld av first sounded us women out before goin all-out to defend what u term 'our rights'!
well sorry prince charmin, in this instance your 'fight' is quite misguided,  in our culture, it is the right of everywoman that her husband pay her brideprice, anything less wouldnt b marriage! also don't kno where u came about this haggling angle,  it isnt the norm neither does it mean the wife has been sold as it normally should just b a token symbollizing interconnection:  exchange of treasure and resources, sharing and caring between both families.
that dere are individual families that exploit d culture and harass their potential sons-in-law, i cannot deny. however, such cases can't be generalized and even den such intending couples shld b able 2 discuss and agree on that before sitting down wit deir respective families 2 talk sense into them. if dey can't handle that den don't think dey'v got business gettin married because brideprice aint d only thing del'd av 2 contend wit in marriage.
really tho i believe it is d men i.e husbands that need to change their mentality. paying brideprice is actually meant 2 make u treasure your wife more not immediately make her a commodity that your family just bought for u! that brideprice is paid shouldnt make any bride less lovable, she still is d same babe u fell for!
dear bunkbobo, if you're so bothered bout our plight in marriage why not demand such rights that really would make a difference 2 us like demand that the children we bear carry our names seeing as we go through more pain not just to birth them but also do all ensure 2 a better future for them!
please, lets not get unnecessarily sentimental ere,  keep it real

bride price is a part of our culture-yes,
but whats this buisness of bankrupting yourself to get married?
is that part of our culture as well,
spend big doe to do trad wedding and spend d next one year drinking garri and dodging creditors?
well apologies to any ibos in the house, but yall knew anyway, it b/c bride price so many of your guys marry late,and that is uncool. cause it implies that there will b a serious age gap between hubby and wife.

guy must reach age of 35 to make doe reqd

guy must marry fine babe( 4 d monee spent)

guy doesnot want 2 marry chick his age, esp when hes paying big monee, (smaller return on investment)

so guy marriies fine chick who he probably doesnt really know, but who is a trophy wife.

really, i don't think people who are seriously into bride price are actualy marrying 4 love.

Yesterday my dad told me that there would be no traditional marriage for me,just court and church wedding. I was really happy when he said that and rest assured he said no bride price too. I think this bride price thing should stop or if it must continue,let it be really low because the amounts I hear are really outrageous!

A few years ago,a community in Rivers state took out a full page ad in a national newspaper to announce that their bride price has been reduced next to nothing in order to woo prospective grooms to come get their girls off their hands.

The community was said to be swarming with unmarried senior girls and they had to take drastic measures.
South East and South south are terrible in this bride price thing.
In some communities there is an exercise book full of "things to buy"
It's insane.

what did you do that he decided to dash you away?


_{just kidding}

Ah, omo you said it all!! 

How come you know all these inner details of the South-East? Don't allow my Igbo brothers to fight you o!

But seriously though, among the Delta-Igbo communities, bride price is little - a mere token amount.  Among several communities in Anambra area, I hear it can go as high as 200,000 thousand naira, depending on the girl's qualifications & beauty. While in some areas of Enugu state which share the same border with Kogi state, bride price is also low.

Um, strange. The Edo, Yoruba & Itsekiri people as well as some Delta-Igbo clans believe that their daughters are too valuable to be haggled over, like  a mere commodity. They believe there is NO amount of money that would do justice to the value they attach to their daughters. So why on earth would they want to put a price tag on her head?

Quite often, they just name a symbolic figure, make a big show of collecting it from the groom's family & then return most of it (or all of it) back to them with the same flourish, after making a long speech about how their daughters are NOT for sale.