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davidylan (m)
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it is not rocket science . . . do you reciprocate the calls and sms messages or do you like most Nigerian girls simply sit there lapping all the attention and forgeting that a relationship shldnt be one-sided?
Are you understanding enough to realise that 5 calls a day is not economically feasible?
and please move this to the romance section.
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lucyc (f)
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well it depends,but if u find out out he doesn't call why not call him,afterall it supposed to be two sided not one sided.
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sweetiemi (f)
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it seems u all don't see the part about the missed calls obviously he has stopped picking your calls and claims he doesnt see the missed calls.  |
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uchetobi (f)
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If he is not picking your calls then he is not interested FINITE
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uchetobi (f)
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But as to why he loses interest, I think for most guys they love challenges, they love unpredictability and that’s what you give them when they are chasing u, but once u become theirs things could get a bit laid back and boring, so the solution I think is to make sure u guys connect when he is chasing u, don’t be in a hurry to say yes at any time, take time 2 study the person, make sure u guys have shared interests, things to keep the relationship going after the initial spark of attraction dims, also as a lady you have a good role to play when u become girlfriend, owe it to yourself not 2 get boring or nonchalant. Still dress 2 kill, wear your make up and be interesting and fun to be with. Don’t leave all d calling and texting to him, let it flow and it shouldn’t be a competition of who can ignore the other person the longest, o I don’t want to be the first to call etc
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dinipre (f)
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Do you knw this baffles me too?My b/f acts the same way.
Was always calling and sending messages before and like some months after we started dating but now i do most of
the calling.Its strange because he loves me dearly and i know he does but can't still get why the calling and text message habits shld stop.GUYS HELP US OUT,A PENNY 4 UR TOTS!!
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crazykid (m)
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But as to why he loses interest, I think for most guys they love challenges, they love unpredictability and that’s what you give them when they are chasing u, but once u become theirs things could get a bit laid back and boring, so the solution I think is to make sure u guys connect when he is chasing u, don’t be in a hurry to say yes at any time, take time 2 study the person, make sure u guys have shared interests, things to keep the relationship going after the initial spark of attraction dims, also as a lady you have a good role to play when u become girlfriend, owe it to yourself not 2 get boring or nonchalant. Still dress 2 kill, wear your make up and be interesting and fun to be with. Don’t leave all d calling and texting to him, let it flow and it shouldn’t be a competition of who can ignore the other person the longest, o I don’t want to be the first to call etc I agree with you. Also I would like to add a little more; most girls feel it’s the duty of the guy to do all the calling and texting. What do you expect a guy to do after spend so much money call and texting you and all you can do is to send him a call me back message. Believe me, he would loose interest in you; if you love someone, express yourself to him or her; hiding your feelings would only make things worse. |
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tollu (f)
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Why do guys lose interest in a relationship after the chase? Succintly put, it all boils down to the 'law of diminishing returns'. And it affects both sexes not just guys. I wonder how married people cope.   |
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iice (f)
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Doesn't really happen to me It's usually the other way round
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Ujujoan (f)
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Doesn't really happen to me It's usually the other way round
Lair!! |
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opokonwa (m)
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Because most ladies become as boring as hell after they have said 'yes' and relaxed for the guy.
Some ladies think that saying 'yes' is all there is to making a r/lshp work.
They fail to realise that that is just the beginning; you have to work it out and keep working it out.
They leave the rest of the creativity for the guy to figure out and moderate at the same time, leaving the guy desperately seeking for adventure and more interesting challenges elsewhere.
Ladies, wake up!
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Frizy (m)
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Simple, the thrill is over!
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almondjoy (f)
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Like other things in life, there is no condition that is permanent. Even as much as we loved Jesus, we still killed him abi? We also still love him after we killed him.  |
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top_kin (m)
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Personally I think everything in life is guided by Law. The truth is that you CANNOT always like the same thing eternally. You become jaded, law of diminising returns sets in------ only a fresh challenge/innovation can begin to wet your appetite again. That's a RULE in life and that's why u see companies always coming out with innovations. Also as a matter of Law of nature, when you want something, you give it your all, and when in your posession you relax.
The same thing applies to relationships. You constantly need to create stimulants that will renew the affection, whithout that, my dear, the relationship will hit rocks. Need i say aslo that it should be a two way thing. It shouldn't be a one way traffic. It should be reciprocal. If only one party is doing all the calling and showing all the concern, sonner than later that person may beging to feel cheated and may lead to a sour experience. It's just Law.
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4Him (m)
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Don’t leave all d calling and texting to him, let it flow and it shouldn’t be a competition of who can ignore the other person the longest, o I don’t want to be the first to call etc
Uchetobi, more wisdom to u! |
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Seun (m)
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it shouldn’t be a competition of who can ignore the other person the longest, Good one. I really hate that sort of game. Because most ladies become as boring as hell after they have said 'yes' and relaxed for the guy. Actually, such ladies were boring during the chase, but the guy didn't notice because he was busy chasing. That's why "hard to get" is really stupid. Only after all the drama will the guy will discover you're not right for him. Some ladies think that saying 'yes' is all there is to making a relationship work. Thank you. Believe me, he would loose interest in you; if you love someone, express yourself to him or her; hiding your feelings would only make things worse. Thank you. I blame society for encouraging women to be so passive and reactive. Never proactive. If he is not picking your calls then he is not interested FINITE It's all relative, but the truth is that "the chase" is not conducive for judging compatibility. Eventually when he catches you he may realize that you are not even worth all the trouble! Your only attractive quality is your unavailability! Why waste all that time? |
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TerrySoft (m)
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In my opinion, I think it depends on what the guy was chasing. If a guy chases a lady or girl for sex, when he gets that, he has won and every game ends when there's a winner.
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OMO IBO (m)
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what do women expect? they want everything to remain the same? he is likely to loose interest if u initially played hard to get unnecessarily.
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bukiboy (m)
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my opinion: guys are natural hunters after the chase game they are more relax that afterall they have what they want now, girls should try to make sure the game continues after the chase
most girls believes playing "hard to get" put them in high esteem before the guy, but it doesnt as an adult i don't see any reason why you have to pretend you see a guy you like and lucky you he walk up to you and ask you out why all the stiffness but you don't have to come too cheap cause that put some guys off just know where to draw the line.
girls should not always wait for guys to do all the follow ups.
notting on my head again.
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olulu
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1) the thrill is in the chase.
2) guys love challenges,
3) Change is the only constant thing in life
4) same of the same is boring most times
5) variety is the spice of life
6) a guy start a relationship, a woman sustains it
but the truth is, for a guy chasing after a lady
the harder she is to get, the more he wants to conquer her
once a guy gets a lady he wants then he tends to relax.
its only competition
or d awareness of the fact that there is another guy on the prowl that will keep him on his toes.
or if there is that chemistry there ab initio,
then d thrill might be unending
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talk2sulta (m)
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@topic he loses interest because after tasting the "honey pot",he says "so this is what ive been struggling for,the thing no sweet at all.make i go find sweeter one ".  .his fantasies have become reality,so there is nothing interesting anylonger.for the ladies:fantasies is what keeps the chase alive.off he hops to the next lady. |
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cicero (m)
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, if you love me you go wait for me,
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Egavlas (m)
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Seun summed it all up.
The whole "playing hard to get" scheme has been elevated over and above a sincere, conscious and serious consideration of the person asking you out.
If a lady is not interested in a guy or starting a relationship, she should tell him in no uncertain terms and mean it.
Its really a put-off after all the rigmarole, for the guy to realise that all he was wasting his time on was not what he wanted.
If you, on the other hand, are interested, then by all means , appear to be. The whole playing hard to get thing isn't in vogue anymore.
People don't have enough time in a day to waste anymore.
Besides, like someone already pointed out, why would a guy call you so many times in a day and send various and diverse sms messages without a real acknowledgment from the recipient ?
The missed calls issue may just be coming too late. After the guy had decided to move on .
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ogb5 (m)
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you are a man, you see a "gorgeous" lady, you chase her for 1 day, 1wk, 1 month, maybe 7 years before she agrees.
Then what next, she brings all her troubles you never knew existed during the chase,
she needs support,
she needs help,
she need to go out when you don't want to,
she needs sometime but she does no know what she need, she wants you to remind her.
And you must make all the moves, the calls, pick the bills while she enjoys it.
The gorgeous lady can be sick, she has faults yet she was stressing you during the chase.
all of a sudden you realise you spent a considering time, effort and money to get yourself trouble in the name of a girl.
What do you do.
move on and look for the next gorgeous girl, and the circle repeats itself until you are trapped for good.
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jassie
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@Seun You said it all! O Lenu PA!!! |
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Mortiple (m)
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Why do guys lose interest in a relationship after the chase?
Another reason: the guy may have discovered the babe does not possess the qualities he is looking for, which he initially thought she had. Na person wey near person dey perceive the mouth odour of that person.
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kalmebad (f)
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@Sweetemi
A very good observation u made there,u are right and i agree with u
@ Some repliers
is one question that no answer here on nairaland can justify, the question still remains a mystery to me,the truth is that even when a lady reciprocate in every way she should or even give in more than expected, sometimes is never d same as in the beginning, a guy declares an undying love from the inception of d toasting, exhibit every charms and whims and suddenly it becomes "the more u look at them, the less u c with them" guys make una try to dey straighten ways. anyway 4 me i have given up on them, their sing song doesn't catch my attention anymore, i rather tell them to take it to the next person. When d right person shows, i go kwn and don't go asking how, cus that u wont be able to find out. And there wont be much with words but action.
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simmy (m)
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when they realise the trophy isnt worth the chase
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Author
then it starts to happen 
5 calls become 2 then 1 call a day then once in a week, 6 SMS become 3 then 2 then none!!! 
