Am I Wrong in Sharing Her Problems On Nairaland?

please i need your criticism without fear or favour.

I met a new friend and within few days it seems as if we have known each other for a very long time though it ha not been morethan few days old.

Before we knew whats happening, we were talking of each other' s past relationship and we delve into the present and i came to an understanding that she was confused in her present relationship.

I decided to surprise her and since it was a suprise, there was no need to consult her.

I sought advice from the floor by pasting her life problem in the room for you my room mates to give me an answer and then i told her to check the site to see what i pasted.

And when she did , she was not happy about it.she felt betrayed and was dissappointed in me, up to the point that she does not want anything with me including our friendship.

All apologies went on deaf ears.Now we don't talk again and even if we see on net, we don't communicate.

Now tell me, am i wrong or did i overstep my boundries in trying to help her because she was looking to get the advice from me but i did not want to butt in her relationship yet and i decided to seek your help. Please don't be biased. kill me if i messed up real bad and i will openly apologise on the net again with hope that she will see it.

Update:  Here it is: http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-89963.0.html

Fine you posted the problems on Nairaland for us to share (assuming) you changed her identity.
Wrong to ask her to read her life history. What she told you in confidence.

IMHO, you should have digested the best of the solutions provided and fed it back to her,
I bet she would even love you more abi na like you with such wonderful suggestions and solution,
and i assume to want to woo this babe from her present relationship - right?

I would feel betrayed if I told someone something personal in confidence, and they shared it online (even with good intentions), then told me to look at it. Why did you tell her to look, or tell her anything at all about you seeking advise here? You should have used the suggestions here as if they were your own, she need never know you discussed it online.

Wait a while for her to calm down, then you have to work to gain her trust back. Otherwise, let her go and put it down to a lesson learned for the future.

@poster
You made no mistakes pasting the problem here if and only if u never mentioned her name and i'm sure u can't b that dumb 2 mention her name. So whats her problem, 2 me, its still a secret since non of us know her in person and may not even know what she's going through, besides, u were just trying 2 help out in good fate

Between,
isn't that what nairaland is meant 4, sharing real life situations so that we may all learn from them and b wiser?

i was only trying to help and i never had an intention to go out with her. we were just good friends.

if i wanted to go out with her, i wont be looking for your help to advice her instead i can cook up something to smear the guy but instead i don't want to be biased and for that i chose u guys and girls to help in making her realise the truth.

but i guess you're right, roomates, i should not have pasted it. i guess i messed up big time.

the beef is simple,
you shouldnt hae told her to come see it

she wont seen her name not being there
as she reads , she will se her imaginay name
and seem as if you are just exposing her,

you shdnt have shown her this

WATS WRONG WITH ALL OF UR GUY PRETENDING 2 BE TO HOLY AND GOOD,.
HE ONLY DID THAT COS HE WANTS 2 KNOW WAT PEOPLE THINK BOUT HER CASE
HE DIDNT GIVE OUT HER  IDENTITY, HE ONLY DID IT CAUSE HE CARES BOUT HER.

TO You THE SENDER TRY 2 TALK 2 UR FRIEND, LET HER KNOW You DIDNT IT COS You WANTED 2 HELP HER .

@vindoheney,

The good thing is that you now know one of her dislikes.

Is she the same one who wants you to choose between her and your female friends? Hope she hasn't seen your vacancy too?

When was the last time u bought her some gifts? I think she's indirectly asking for some. 

BTW, I can't find the thread where you supposedly posted your story.  Are you sure it's on nairaland?

@poster

right or wrong is relative and it depends most times on the person looking at it

since the case was about your lady friend and she found what you did offensive, then you need to apologise to her and let her understand that what you did was without malicious intent and you only wanted to help by seeking varied and diverse opinion from third parties.

it is amazing how people can dispassionately see solutions to a problem when they are not directly involved and that is the benefit of putting something like that up in a forum like this.

explain all that to her and really make her realise you would not have done it if you knew she was going to be annoyed

That is so so true!
Weather you called her name or not, it was her problem, not yours, so you owed it to her to get her consent before talking about it.

i guess there is nothing else to say am guilty. i have accepted and am not going to appeal.

i also believe that this has thought me a lesson, it is not everbody that should be helped , some just need u to listen to them.

well, since i have been found guilty,what am i to do to make amends?

nope u aint wrong!!. . buh shouldnt have showed her!

u should've asked for her consent before going on to post her problerms. She's justified for not wanting your frienship anymore

Oh no, u were wrong man, I'm a new member tho. & this kind of thing shouldn't be the welcome address I get. It's me Georgee the symbol of "G". When a lady confides in u, never  let it known to even your left hand. The moment u do that, u loose your respect man, but if that is not the case then u add to your respect, they add to your respect and that means more feather to your cap and once u assure them of your ability to keep secrets it dosen't mean u want to step into that guy's shoes who dosen't handle his biz like a man, watch it man. GEORGE FROM WARRI

I still don't know which thread you're talking about.