English Language According To Speaker Etteh!

Please, don't laugh

ENGLISH LANGUAGE ACCORDING TO SPEAKER ETTEH

1) On the day the National Assembly was inaugurated, Mrs Etteh reminded
House of Representatives members of the need to register their names,
warning that any person who failed to do so would have their name
"striking out". Slip of tongue? Perish the thought. The following day she
repeated the phrase "striking out" several times.

2) When a motion was tabled, she asked the member who was speaking,
"are you in support of favour?"

3) Any time the "ayes" have carried the day on the floor, she wastes no
time in announcing, "the hayes has it".

4) Giving her defence before the David Idoko panel, Etteh informed the
nation that she spoke to the management of the national assembly if due
process was followed and each person "answered in the affirmation
action".

5) When the German ambassador in Abuja visited her, the speaker
enthusiastically announced that "the first place I visited as a young
parliamentarian was a German"

6) When the Spanish ambassador paid her a courtesy visit with a fairly
large delegation, an impressed Etteh spared no effort to "welcome the
strangers".

7) When officials of FERMA visited the House, speaker Etteh urged them
to urgently "make our roads habitable".

To demonstrate the urgency of fixing major roads nationwide, she did
not fail to make the point of the "deploration state of our roads"

9) When a House member tabled a motion on the unenviable condition of
Kaduna Airport , Etteh called attention to the "two run-aways of our
airport".

10) Concerned about the increasing wave of vices, such as occultism on
university campuses, excessive drinking, smoking and womanising by our
youth, she has
set for herself the task of reducing, if not, eradicating these social
vices, which she colourfully calls "social devices".

11) In far-away South Africa , at a meeting of the African
Parliamentary Union, speaker Etteh stated that Nigeria has vast land where
agriculture could thrive
so much, that it could serve as an alternative source of foreign
exchange, or in her own words, " Nigeria has fast land where agriculture is
alternate"

12) To Etteh, the comity of nations can sometimes be referred to as
"international countries".

13) The office of the speaker has regained its aura as, not just an
exalted place, but an "exotic office".

14) The House has become respected as "a hollow chamber", rather than
just a hallowed chamber.

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Gaffes by other Nigerian politicians in the past
1) Chief (Alhaji) Adegoke Adelabu: Penkelemes (Peculiar mess)

2) First Republic minister was asked a question in New York on his
stand on a controversial international issue and feeling that the Nigerian
government had an open mind on this matter, he replied, "I have an
empty mind as far as this issue is
concerned".

3) Anambra moneybag politician, Okechukwu Odunze, who contested the SDP
primaries for the post of Governor of Anambra state boasted that, "if
Arthur Nzeribe has money, I also has money". When a reporter asked for
his view on a hot national issue, he replied "no commentary".

4) Alhaji Barkin Zuwo, who stated that Kano "has surplus minerals like
Fanta, Coca cola, Sprite, Mirinda and even Tango" while voting for
massive use of derivation as a means of sharing national revenue, whereas
Kano state, which he was representing in the senate, did not produce
mineral resources. Legend has it that Barkin Zuwo once saw a number of car
marts and concluded they all belonged to one person known as Saleh,
because they all had the inscription, "for sale".