My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Romance (Moderators: mukina2, iice, StephenP)  |  My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
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Author Topic: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance  (Read 618 views)
BabyCakes (f)
My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« on: March 26, 2006, 12:09 AM »

I am a lady who is engaged to a man who i plan to marry. But my parents do not like him. he has been violent towards me in the past and has promised to change, but my family think I should leave him and find someone else. what should i do? Can my whole family be right?
Seun (m)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #1 on: March 26, 2006, 01:39 AM »

Quote
he has been violent towards me in the past and has promised to change

But has he changed?  What if he's merely holding himself in check for now only to unleash terror on you when you are married?
Rhodalyn (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #2 on: March 26, 2006, 01:45 AM »

sweetheart I'm sure you would want to leave your life to the fullest with happy memories but to do this, you must exclude that man from your life he spells the word T-R-O-U-B-L-E
chinani (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #3 on: March 26, 2006, 02:45 AM »

NO. I don't think a whole family can be wrong. But go & ask your family to be detailed about why they don't like him. Honestly, I don't like him b/c he's violent as you say.  Cry Leave him. It'll be better for you in the long run.
diyobdw (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #4 on: March 26, 2006, 10:47 AM »

Has much as i don't agree wit families bn d final judge on who 2 marry.U need 2 1st check ursef r u been real.Has he changed?D kind of violent u mean also matter.Pp change bt that depends ön them. don't b blinded by ur want use ya head!
uhonmora (m)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #5 on: March 26, 2006, 11:10 AM »

Try finding out from your family what it is they don't like about him and  Just like Seun has said, has he really changed or is he just promising that so you wont leave him? If he's been physically violent with you in the past, there's every chance he'll do it again in the future
mamaput (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #6 on: March 26, 2006, 12:51 PM »

They are talking about marrage and the family must have told her why. They have beingseeing what is happinging.
They only want what is the best for you .
Let it not happen that they will one day say I told you so.
Bright2 (m)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #7 on: March 26, 2006, 04:54 PM »

My dear,marry him. By my spiritual point of view he is not violent, he was acting based on de  kind  of life his 4ma girl friend imperted in him, he tought u are like that but he is realising u don't enjoy that,but his 4ma girl friend do enjoy violent,even do send him against other men  .Do not ask him in de  evening nor night but in de morning.I am still in Nairaland u can wire me from here.     
Tetris (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #8 on: March 26, 2006, 10:29 PM »

Quote from: BabyCakes on March 26, 2006, 12:09 AM
- he has been violent towards me in the past and has promised to change -

it's your funeral.

Quote from: Bright2 on March 26, 2006, 04:54 PM
-   he was acting based on de kind of life his 4ma girl friend imperted in him, he tought u are like that but he is realising u don't enjoy that,but his 4ma girl friend do enjoy violent   -
Huh i'm looking for the point where this justifies her (or any other chic) at all getting a beating. she did not say he was into S&M o! he's been violent with her minus sex. or is there some other form of violence that supposedly gives a normal, non-psychotic human pleasure?

Quote from: Bright2 on March 26, 2006, 04:54 PM
-    Do not ask him in de evening nor night but in de morning.I am still in Nairaland u can wire me from here.
i hope Mr Seun has built in a neato transport system into this forum-interface thingy, he cud easily make millions.

mamaput (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #9 on: March 27, 2006, 07:04 AM »

No he is not violent .
The lady just walks into his fist.
Or ask for it. same asthe 4ma girlfriends
uhonmora (m)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #10 on: March 27, 2006, 09:03 AM »

Babycakes, how's it going?
Dupsybaby (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #11 on: March 27, 2006, 11:49 AM »

uuuh hun,bail out fast  Sad its too early for ur funeral
Rhodalyn (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #12 on: March 27, 2006, 11:50 AM »

 Cheesy Cheesy exactly
ono (m)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #13 on: March 27, 2006, 03:05 PM »

When you read about what divorce has done to so many homes in the world, you'll want to be sincere with yourself in this matter. Marriage is for life. That's why you've got to be very careful when you want to say ''yes'' to any man.

You know this guy better than we all do. Weigh the pros and cons of marrying the guy. Do a proper homework on this man before going to the altar. No doubt,you family members meant well for you.

Goodluck.
Seun (m)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #14 on: March 27, 2006, 11:34 PM »

Never marry a man that hits you or threatens to do so.  Adults do not improve after marriage.
Bright2 (m)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #15 on: March 28, 2006, 12:25 AM »

Seun, i disagree with with u,men does improve after marriage lot's of parents even uses that 2 calm their sons.
Seun (m)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #16 on: March 28, 2006, 06:36 AM »

People don't change after marriage.  Why should a man improve when he has already "captured" her?
mamaput (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #17 on: March 28, 2006, 08:10 AM »

As long as the girl is in her Fathers House the Mans aggression are limited.
He cannot go to her fathers house to fight her.
Once they are married, he will feel free to do what he likes,
gem87 (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #18 on: March 29, 2006, 05:58 PM »

honey a man that lays hands on you does not deserve you, it is insulting and humiliating u can't always trust a man like that even if he promised to change,
i agree with seun too. if u can live with him beating you up go on but if not heed your family's advice.
jasi (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #19 on: January 24, 2008, 09:58 AM »

can a LEOPARD change is skin?  this is marriage we are talkin about.  Men dey do pretend alot to get what dey want bt after gettin it dey believe that d ACE is now in their hand. 

please & please luk vry well before u leap. Ur family might be right.
opokonwa (m)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #20 on: January 24, 2008, 10:17 AM »

YES with a capital 'Y'

He has been 'violent' with you in the past and you want to give him a chance b/c your 'biased & sympathetic' mind cannot see beyond a few years? Huh

Ol girl! Blood is thicker than water. Your family is seeing what you cannot b/c they're not emotionally involved.
Hence their vision is unbiased.

Go with your family; they cannot deceive you.

Dish the man! Angry
amsky (f)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #21 on: January 24, 2008, 06:03 PM »

why are guys still replying to this ?twas posted about 2 years ago.
opokonwa (m)
Re: My Family Does Not Approve Of My Fiance
« #22 on: January 24, 2008, 06:52 PM »

B/c someone resurrected it.

Some thread have nine lives!
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