Under Pressure To Marry

I agree with this.

In a typical Nigerian setting, no parents/family would readily oblige to a 'military' kind of wedding arrangement. As in, you show face today and the next thing you talk about is getting married to their daughter. In as much as you're the lady's choice and the decision is hers, her family would be happy and would as well appreciate you the more by giving them the honour to know you and give their daughter the full support. That is not to say that it can not be otherwise, but it is better to do things right.

If my child is mature enough to get married and she comes home one day with her fiancé, I will be very happy. But at the time I would want to be sure that she is doing it right, it is for her sake and their sake.  I would want to know this guy. I'm not being nosy by doing that, but only trying to ensure that I play my role. Of course, I can not stop them from getting married but I could be of immense help to them by counseling them and making sure that they know what they are delving into. This also gives me confidence that I am not erring, as a mother.

Even for people abroad, they try to keep in touch with their potential in-laws by calling. So for someone on ground in Nigeria, there is no excuse. Infact, you may be seen as having a skeleton in your cupboard. And you can’t defend that!

Besides, it is very important you know your potential in-laws. It’s important you know if you can put up with them. Guess you know what I mean. Take it or leave it, they can make or break your marriage. Marriage of ‘it’s me and my husband’ or it’s me and my wife’ doesn’t thrive well in Nigeria. If you want to give that a shot, go abroad where you are beyond the physical reach of intruders.

I wonder if it is only common in Nigeria that parents pressure their children to marry, i think this should be stopped because i think that most people (especially the men) got married due to pressure either coming from their families or their spouse, at the end of the day, they realise that they have made a mistake though too late.

If marriage is not by force don't engage anybody until u are ready, or u can even remain single forever who cares.
I don't think a reasonable parent will sit down and watch her daughter (at age of 28/29) growing old and suitors are coming and going.
u don't kn there will be a stage where no man will have interest in her, who kns by then u will come up with another story, or your mother will be the one to choose for u.

You are working and she is working, investment continues as long as u are alive.
If u are not ready please release her on time before is too late for her.