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Derin007
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I am in a dilemma: My boyfriend recently had a female visitor from delta and she actually stayed over at his place for a whole week. He didnt inform me about the visit and i only found out when they both came to visit me.The most annoying thing is that he comes in the company of this girl whenever he is coming over to my place and they go out together whenever they leave my place. All through her stay, he never allowed me to visit him but would rather come around to see me.In all sincerity, the girl told me on the first visit that she has heard so many nice things about me from the guy which she didnt specify. Anyway i discovered the day the girl left his place that he has been the one responsible for her staying for a week because each time the girl wanted to leave he keeps begging her to stay{all these from his inbox and outbox}.Would u believe that i asked him for money and he told me he didnt have, that infact the girl was the one responsible for all the spending that took place all through her visit. Do you think i should just bow out of this relationship because really i started taking my mind away from him ever since.  |
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opokonwa (m)
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Yes I think you should. All these without a proper explanation?  Do you need a Pope to tell you that you don't have a man |
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iice (f)
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Hmmmm does it curdle the blood to actually confront one of the 'important' people in your life? Sorry thinking out loud
Please go talk to him and decide whether to break it off or not. . .
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efuah (f)
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sorry dear, i wonder if the guy is really himself or under some control or. . .  |
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Busta (f)
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u need to sit him down and ask him what is really going on.
confirm ur suspicions first before u blow up!
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SwtNsoFLyy (f)
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Its so good 2 see everybody saying to sit down and talk, (when its a reasonable suggestion, and the situation is not shady like this)) but I am not BIG on kissing up to a man who has outright disrespected me in my FACE. please. Women that are sure of themselves, and know what they want will never chase a man who places another woman before her. WISE UP little mamma. The nerve, she would have, telling you, "Oh I've heard so much about you.". This line is all too familiar from the 'other woman". if infact she was just a 'friend', and u were of MORE importance than she is, then don't you think you should have been made aware of her coming and you too, would be able to say, "OH Ive heard alot about you TOO? don't you think you should be able to visit your own man's crib even moreso as she is spending quality alone time with your man? When a man loves a woman, he makes sure she knows HIS FRIENDS. Something smells fishy, and I guarantee you, they were cooking something, and it was not fish on the stove.
This is the kind of situation that either, makes or breaks a woman of her true self. Life is full of lessons, but its how we view the lessons as something learned, and move on to better and greater things, as well relationships. If you had to come online to ask the question, surely you know something is up!. Love, when it is genuine, does not leave us with questionable fidelity. Think about it. then. Ask yourself one question. Do you deserve to be treated like this?
I say, don't ASK HIM ANY MORE QUESTIONS, you have seen enough. more questions will only break ur spirits further. Fix ur self up real nice, and focus on bettering yourself. Everybody can play games, tho you don't want to play that 'payback' game. You must master the game of life. and u do that by loving, and focusing on YOU and thanking God for showing you the man he ISN'T. A common mistake we often make, , when we move on. STICK to it, can't move on to better things God has in store if we are constantly looking in the past, and wandering 'what if',
close that chapter, and know that you deserve much better, your future happiness is all based on your choices in life,
love & light,
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davidylan (m)
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When a man loves a woman, he makes sure she knows HIS FRIENDS.
This quote captures my feelings on this thread to the point. What is she going to sit down and talk with her "boyfriend"? How to share him with another woman? Abeg carry your load and leave that loafer. He still has a long way to go before becoming a man. |
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Derin007
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I am in a dilemma: My boyfriend recently had a female visitor from delta and she actually stayed over at his place for a whole week. He didnt inform me about the visit and i only found out when they both came to visit me.The most annoying thing is that he comes in the company of this girl whenever he is coming over to my place and they go out together whenever they leave my place. All through her stay, he never allowed me to visit him but would rather come around to see me.In all sincerity, the girl told me on the first visit that she has heard so many nice things about me from the guy which she didnt specify. Anyway i discovered the day the girl left his place that he has been the one responsible for her staying for a week because each time the girl wanted to leave he keeps begging her to stay{all these from his inbox and outbox}.Would u believe that i asked him for money and he told me he didnt have, that infact the girl was the one responsible for all the spending that took place all through her visit. Do you think i should just bow out of this relationship because really i started taking my mind away from him ever since. |
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Bolarge (m)
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Honestly my only surprise is that you're still asking.  |
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alex406 (m)
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Derin you don't have to Get stucked to him since he has another lover after all he can't be dating both of you at the same time and even if he does,he will surely love one more than the other. I will advice you to date me  |
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Joey82 (m)
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@poster,
i can see u are such a calm person,
what sort of girl are u that ur boyfriend brings another chick 2 ur house and u just fold ur arms, welcome them without expressing any iota of jealousy, gets me wondering if u yourself likes d guy in question.
well if u really love ur man, then , i'll say u're such a weak person
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ayeesha (f)
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not again!
I'm begining to get fed up of hearing such stories from ladies
do these guys jazz you ladies from showing any reaction when faced with such senarios or what?
like someone said, are you sure you realy like the guy at all?
it is not healthy not to show some emotions, even if its a little jealousy!
it spices up the relationship girl!
on a serious note though, i think the guy is dating the lady in question because i want to believe she is neither his sister, mother, cousin or distant relative right? do away with him before he does away with you
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bebe2007 (m)
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Something similar happened to a friend of mine. He told his babe the visitor was his best friend and told the visitor his babe was his best friend. I smell a big rat o!!!
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aysometin (f)
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@ Poster, this is stating the obvious, is your boyfriend pope john paul that he will be watching a girl in his crib for one week without anything happening or something going on between trhem?It happened to me once with my roomate getting so close to my boyfriend that she even used to go to his house and sleep there giving different reasons, eventually it became confirmed they had been dating for 6 months and that was a 4 year old relationship i had. What that taught me is that a guy and a girl don't just get close without reason and with my fiance now he knows that i can not stand other girls so its both of us together most of the time to avoid a repeat.
What am i saying to you, its obvious something is going down and if u really want your guy back go and clarify issues.if not take a walk.
MY two Cents.
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FactorChic (f)
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You didn't have to ask, just forget the relationship already!
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jkpretty (f)
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@ Poster, this is stating the obvious, is your boyfriend pope john paul that he will be watching a girl in his crib for one week without anything happening or something going on between trhem?It happened to me once with my roomate getting so close to my boyfriend that she even used to go to his house and sleep there giving different reasons, eventually it became confirmed they had been dating for 6 months and that was a 4 year old relationship i had. What that taught me is that a guy and a girl don't just get close without reason and with my fiance now he knows that i can not stand other girls so its both of us together most of the time to avoid a repeat.
What am i saying to you, its obvious something is going down and if u really want your guy back go and clarify issues.if not take a walk.
MY two Cents.
wow, good talk! |
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Derin007
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My boyfriend recently had a female visitor from delta and she actually stayed over at his place for a whole week. He didnt inform me about the visit and i only found out when they both came to visit me.The most annoying thing is that he comes in the company of this girl whenever he is coming over to my place and they go out together whenever they leave my place. All through her stay, he never allowed me to visit him but would rather come around to see me.In all sincerity, the girl told me on the first visit that she has heard so many nice things about me from the guy which she didnt specify. Anyway i discovered the day the girl left his place that he has been the one responsible for her staying for a week because each time the girl wanted to leave he keeps begging her to stay{all these from his inbox and outbox}.Would u believe that i asked him for money and he told me he didnt have, that infact the girl was the one responsible for all the spending that took place all through her visit. Do you think i should just bow out of this relationship because really i started taking my mind away from him ever since.
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dyabman (m)
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Please do so really fast and I'm very much available, i don't fool around like him, I'm off!!!, Peace
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igbonla (m)
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@ Poster, this is stating the obvious, is your boyfriend pope john paul that he will be watching a girl in his crib for one week without anything happening or something going on between trhem?It happened to me once with my roomate getting so close to my boyfriend that she even used to go to his house and sleep there giving different reasons, eventually it became confirmed they had been dating for 6 months and that was a 4 year old relationship i had. What that taught me is that a guy and a girl don't just get close without reason and with my fiance now he knows that i can not stand other girls so its both of us together most of the time to avoid a repeat.
What am i saying to you, its obvious something is going down and if u really want your guy back go and clarify issues.if not take a walk.
MY two Cents.
Softly, softly O; so you don't give the guy overdose  |
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Johnchelse (m)
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From my own perspective, i discover that u didn't structure the write-up of ur feelings the way it should be.
Anyway, I just want u to know that a friend sometimes might means a lot, even more than a girlfriend.
I will like to advice u this way, go and meet ur boyfriend and ask him who the girl is, before making a mistake of regret.
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ThoniaSlim (f)
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hhhhhmmm, this is a tough one . but i will suggest you really confirm your suspicions before breaking up. because i have seen peeps who just broke up their relationships based on false suspicions they failed to clarify. |
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Derin007
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My boyfriend recently had a female visitor from delta and she actually stayed over at his place for a whole week. He didnt inform me about the visit and i only found out when they both came to visit me.The most annoying thing is that he comes in the company of this girl whenever he is coming over to my place and they go out together whenever they leave my place. All through her stay, he never allowed me to visit him but would rather come around to see me.In all sincerity, the girl told me on the first visit that she has heard so many nice things about me from the guy which she didnt specify. Anyway i discovered the day the girl left his place that he has been the one responsible for her staying for a week because each time the girl wanted to leave he keeps begging her to stay{all these from his inbox and outbox}.Would u believe that i asked him for money and he told me he didnt have, that infact the girl was the one responsible for all the spending that took place all through her visit. Do you think i should just bow out of this relationship because really i started taking my mind away from him ever since.
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iice (f)
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Are all your 4 posts the same thing with different headings? hate spam! 
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IykeD (m)
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Are you bowing out because he brought a friend over to his place OR because you asked for money and he didn't give? You have to be specific.Well from your explanations, the girl could be an old high school pal, since he brought him to your place nd the girl even told you she had heard many nice things about you means that your guy presented you to her as his girl.On his not allowing you to visit, it's natural that he did so, because your visiting might have caused harm in da house because no explanations at his place would have made sense to you. |
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yimiton (f)
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@ iice,
What I see here is deperation. She probably didn't get the right answers to her posts and decided to change to more attractive headings.
@ Poster,
This is your call, you make your decision. But I think this guy is playing around and fooling around with you. If you don't mind being a street fighter (not physical fight of course) you may stay on with him and when this girl friend of his comes around next time, make it obvious that you're the lady of the house. Make her stay uncomfortable by always being with your boyfriends and just frustrate her out.
A lot of ladies can be sly and in the name of 'just friendship' and eat deep into the heart of your man. Only God knows what she might have been saying to him behind you.
Alternatively, if you don't really give a flip about this guy, please just walk away, especially if there's this cool guy somewhere who's been asking you out and you were being faithful to your boyfriends.
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opokonwa (m)
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@Wandel Try my glo line. That other line is simply a 'stanby'. Sometimes I hadly check it. Thanks for trying all the same.  Yeah it's too late to 'throw in the towel'. I'm not unaware of what despeation can do to one I know what I'm suffering now.  But we have over 70 slots to go! that is assuming 20 people out of the 90 have been called within he past 2 days excluding bonny indigenes who have 10 slotsSo cheer up folks! THE ATTITUDE IS AS GOOD AS THE RESULTS |
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opokonwa (m)
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Sorry peeps
The above post was meant for another thread.
LOL!
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opokonwa (m)
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@POSTER I wonder why you keep bringing the same posts over and over again. Are you not satisfied wth the responses given. Move on! we hate boring topics on Nairaland! LOL |
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ndumart
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one whole week without your knowledge? and who did he say d girl was? a cousin?,niece? there are so many questions to ask him. My advice be on your guard because the handwriting is gradually appearing on the wall.
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Naturalle (f)
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Please, did he tell you his relationship with this girl?(She could be a close mutual friend who had nowhere to stay)
Did he tell the girl you are his chic?
Even if he banned u from going to his place, dear, u should have gone to confirm the sleeping arrangements!
Stubborness isnt good but it is necessary in some cases.
In Conclusion, I think you should sit down and talk to him (not to abuse him or anything, just ask him questions, your objective is to guage his reaction to your questions not to weep n tell him how hurt you are). It is only after this talk that u can decide to stay or leave, but don't drag the issue, please address him immediately if u havent done so already.
One more thing, if he's actually runsing things, there are wonderful guys out there. Drop him like a hot potato!
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laudate
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Please, did he tell you his relationship with this girl?(She could be a close mutual friend who had nowhere to stay)
Did he tell the girl you are his chic?
Even if he banned u from going to his place, dear, u should have gone to confirm the sleeping arrangements!
Stubborness isnt good but it is necessary in some cases.
In Conclusion, I think you should sit down and talk to him (not to abuse him or anything, just ask him questions, your objective is to guage his reaction to your questions not to weep n tell him how hurt you are). It is only after this talk that u can decide to stay or leave, but don't drag the issue, please address him immediately if u havent done so already.
One more thing, if he's actually runsing things, there are wonderful guys out there. Drop him like a hot potato!
A close mutual friend that he never bothered to tell his girlfriend about & didn't introduce to her, until he had already made her his house guest?? Jeez!! Did he inform his babe before the other girl landed, that a female friend would be coming for a visit? Did he make it categorically clear to the visiting chic, that he was in love with his girlfriend? Did he act all 'romantic' with his girlfriend in front of the visitor (e.g affectionate touches, hugs, pecks etc)?Why didn't he suggest to his girlfriend that the visitor should stay with her, since she was a fellow woman and he was a man, and he didn't want anybody to get any funny ideas? Abeg, make di girl forget the guy, o jare! Is it when he takes the other chic to the altar, that she would know for sure he has been playing her? |
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