Why Must Nigerians Abroad Marry Nigerians?

That sounds dangerous. What if he agrees that he indeed doesn't love you that much, and asks for a break-up? 

That sounds dangerous. What if he agrees that he indeed doesn't love you that much, and asks for a break-up? 

Dear, the worst truth is better than the sweety lie. I am strong I can support.


almondjoy

He was my first and last nigerian, never more honey and I am not looking for anyone, when we look we don't find and it is something that just happen when we don't expect.

I have ready all comments and your comment make me think you are unsafe because foreign woman is too much also you are lazy because you don't want much brainwork (I am so sorry for my nigerians sistah, I understand why a lot of them doenst know what orgasmic mean (smile) .I am giving a instance) As everything is ready and easy you don't care about her wish and please her because as she was tauch to be quiet and never complain is comfortable for you.

 

@SimiBrazil, sorry to hear about your situation, four years is far too long to be in a relationship for marriage/commitment to be out of the question, based upon something you can't change and he knew of all along.

I must ask you, do you think he already had someone else who he plans to marry? I don't see too many men investing four years in a woman they refuse to marry.

There are plenty of Nigerian men who are flexible when it comes to marriage, so try not to let this experience taint them in your eyes. There must have been something good about him if you stayed so long and was willing to marry him.

Almondjoy, its just the talk of a woman scorned, if you take a look at the "why Nigerian men are attracted to Caribbean women" thread, you will see the result of men scorned, lol

At the end of the day, we tend to view the world through our own experiences, but then new experiences come along all the time and give us an opportunity to put things into perspective, if we take them up ofcourse.

As far as the absence of orgasms, most Nigerian women would leave before four years if  an orgasm was so important. Besides she didn't leave because of lack of orgasm, but because he wouldn't make her his wife.

Its just the hurt talking. I would be hurt if  I were her, I would feel betrayed.

Some parents are ethnically oriented, others are not especially in cases where those parents had a succesful inter-ethnic marriage themselves. Parents are also human beings, and can be persuaded or cajoled to change their minds or shift their positions. Mutual trust, respect, love, understanding, compassion, loyalty, integrity etc. count for much more in my own books, than ethnicity. It doesn't matter if you are the first born or not, most parents usually object at first, to their child's choice of partners. Some feel that nobody is good enough for their son or daughter, others rely on all the stereotypes they have heard about X ethnic group or Y ethnic group, to arrive at a decision, instead of getting to know that person as an individual and assessing him or her strictly on merit.

I believe nothing good comes easy. Everything has its' own price. Every relationship will be subjected to its' own test, either by fate, Providence, circumstances or society. It now depends on the strength of character of both parties involved, the depth of affection they share, and their ability to bond together to weather the storms. These factors will determine if they can continue to bond and thrive despite the odds, or if they will pull apart in a crisis.

First-born or not, YOU would have to live with that individual for life, not your mum or dad. The most important thing to check, is if that person is willing to adapt to your culture or way of life, and has the temperament to get along with your family. 

If I found someone who loved me simply for who I was, put me first, prayed with me & for me, had my back, shared their heart & thoughts with me, had integrity, compassion, understanding and respect for me, shared my vision, hopes and aspirations, connected with me on a deep, fundamental level and wanted the best for me at all times. . . .do you think I would let such a person go, simply on the basis of ethnicity? Hell, NO!  

I have seen Nigerians marry foreigners o, pure oyinbos, bring them to Naija and some of those marriages worked out, while others didn't. I personally know two families where the Oyinbo women learnt not just their husband's culture, but also the language, quite well. I have also seen those Nigerians who married within their own ethnic groups and some worked, while others fell apart. So ethnicity does not provide any iron-cast guarantees, that we would have a strong marriage, due to the fact that we share a similar culture. 

Everyone needs to search deep within their own heart, to discover what works for them and pursue it. But our problem even as adults, is that many of us Nigerians are people pleasers. We want to please our mums & dads & extended families, even at the expense of our own happiness sometimes. Why??

Great , deep, bitter,honet and fun answers.
Today is saturday! Guess what ? I am enjoying with my babe oga so I am very busy to answer, I ll answer frow my home tomorrow or monday.
Have a nice weekend all !

Hugs
Simone

PS:almondjoy: Orgasmic is not the bottow line of the discussion, I just give you instance.  (about this issue I have ready a lot of sistahs complaining about "you nigerians" performance, here in Nairaland, sex topic and in the live). That why I concluded it and I made generalization, there are a lot of Tabu in Africa continent in general, people don't talk, you  don't find information because it might "corrupt children mind" so whats the resuld ? pregnangy when is teenager, Aids and other diseasses, prejudice, sexual problems, etc,

@post
to answer your questionparents wants their kids to keep their culture and the strengthen it. . . they believe if you dnt marry a nigerian, u'll forget who you are and where you came fromam i right or am i right

Go ahead

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