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slimes (m)
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4yrs is no joke. Some couples may have had about 2 kids by then. This courtship would likely not end in Marriage. It is just unacceptable.
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celestine7 (m)
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Depending on the couple 4 years is not too long. you could meet someone you love now, within the next three to four months you started discussing marriage provided you love that person and you are mentally, financially and spiritually ready for marriage.
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femogbash (m)
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The questn is that, are u ready for marriage?
Then if u are ready I believe long time for courtship is too long. The longer a courtship, the more dangerous it becomes.
But if you are ready to get marry, the min. of 6mths and max. of 2yrs,
My own case is a practical example.
I met my wife in 1999 and break up in 2001. After 5 1/2 years we resolved the issue and now wegot married on 4th August, 2007 (legally married).
IF YOU ARE NOT FULLY READY DON'T MAKE A DATE. (EXCEPT A PLAYER).
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Prince T
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I love this trend,everyone has contributed immensely.
Seun kudos to UNairalanders thumb up.
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chychy (f)
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4 years is friggin 2 long,
u probably wont end up getting married, i don't need 2 explain, but the truth is if u are @ it 4 that long, u'll get tired.
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ininathan (m)
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I believe there is no perfect being on earth; what are we courting for, to know each other but the true character of a person is know when living together: exspecially men but ladies after a child the first character is reveal then the subsequence one follows simultaneously, may God have mercy on us and give us our bone of our bone. If u wait too long another nigger will take your wife away. but I also belief guy don't mary quick when sex is easy to get.
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janami (f)
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@Nwando
hey! let us see what courtship is first. it's the time you get to know if the person u are courting is really good for u. A lot of people do not get married to those they think they will get married to besides i am not remotely ready for marriage yet, so, let the courtship ride, as far as there is no problem on both sides
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nwando
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@ janami But honey,8 years?
Please leave the boy and find you a man.
are you only good enough for dating?
Unless you started dating him at 13 or 14 years of age,you are wasting time with this guy o
If the relationship has moved no further for 8 years,that should be a clear signal.
why should he buy the milk when the cow is free?
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RichyBlacK (m)
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Four years is too long!
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almondjoy (f)
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Four years is too long!
One year maximum--six months of dating/six months engagement=1 year courtship. Think of all the children that would have been produced from all those "rhythm methods"--wasted on those mattresses!!!!  |
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janami (f)
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yeah yeah nwando. i get the gist. better to still be in love wit someone u ve dated for that long than be out and dry claiming i ve not met mr right
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janami (f)
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yeah yeah nwando. i get the gist. but the relationship is still as thick as ever and the only thing holding us up is that we need to settle down first. Tell me why i shld dump him when he has not done anything wrong, not that he is perfect, and move on since i am not even remotely ready for marriage yet. ofcourse he cld turn his back on me tomorrow. shit happens. i will cry, i will move on. Atleast i tried. u get my predicament? but i feel u
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nateevs (m)
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When it comes to courtship and human judgement, the only thing i see is sentiment. Let's ask our selves a question. What is the difference between courtship and Marriage? It's simple. The answer is commitment.
Whether a guy or girl, it remains the same. COMMITMENT. I have been the same lady for five years now. We both know we are not getting married now but we remain as strong as ever. I am not trying to sound like a saint. I have met some other females and I have loads of other female friends but when you know what you want you know what you want.
Whatever will happen during courtship will happen during marriage. If can't stay with a guy or a girl for 4 years without leaving, though I have not been married before, my guess is you will struggle in marriage. Conversely, if you can stay with a guy or a girl for 4 years without looking out, it's simple. It's good foundation for your marriage. (Provided you are with the right person).
Is 4 years too long for courtship? The answer is NO. it depends on mindset and most importantly commitment to stay.
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janami (f)
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When it comes to courtship and human judgement, the only thing i see is sentiment. Let's ask our selves a question. What is the difference between courtship and Marriage? It's simple. The answer is commitment.
Whether a guy or girl, it remains the same. COMMITMENT. I have been the same lady for five years now. We both know we are not getting married now but we remain as strong as ever. I am not trying to sound like a saint. I have met some other females and I have loads of other female friends but when you know what you want you know what you want.
Whatever will happen during courtship will happen during marriage. If can't stay with a guy or a girl for 4 years without leaving, though I have not been married before, my guess is you will struggle in marriage. Conversely, if you can stay with a guy or a girl for 4 years without looking out, it's simple. It's good foundation for your marriage. (Provided you are with the right person).
Is 4 years too long for courtship? The answer is NO. it depends on mindset and most importantly commitment to stay.
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Vickivicki (m)
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When it comes to courtship and human judgement, the only thing i see is sentiment. Let's ask our selves a question. What is the difference between courtship and Marriage? It's simple. The answer is commitment.
Whether a guy or girl, it remains the same. COMMITMENT. I have been the same lady for five years now. We both know we are not getting married now but we remain as strong as ever. I am not trying to sound like a saint. I have met some other females and I have loads of other female friends but when you know what you want you know what you want.
Whatever will happen during courtship will happen during marriage. If can't stay with a guy or a girl for 4 years without leaving, though I have not been married before, my guess is you will struggle in marriage. Conversely, if you can stay with a guy or a girl for 4 years without looking out, it's simple. It's good foundation for your marriage. (Provided you are with the right person).
Is 4 years too long for courtship? The answer is NO. it depends on mindset and most importantly commitment to stay.
I know people thet av courted for more than this no of years and are happily married one need not embark on a journey you don't want to complete. The above writer did noted well. As earlier said elsewhere,what was their age and wot is on ground at the onset. To an achiever no mountain is too high to climb to plant and harvest the seed of success. |
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tenor (m)
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A saying goes thus: Love is blind but marriage is an eye opener. I've heard lotsa reasons but one advice i'll give is this, it's better to make mistakes
during courtship than make mistakes during marriage. You can all figure out the height of destruction in each situations (courtship and marriage). I'm
not a believer in time but i think the objective view to this is i'll opt for any circumstance that will make me know my partner better. Because marriage is
no joke. You can tell the mistakes by the high number of seperations, divorces and broken families. People pretend but you'll find less people pretend
for a longer time. It doesnt mean you wont find long term actors or actresses. But the odds are more that you'll find out more issues over time. Note
that, this is not a textbook theory to happy marriages but in the case of ruling out the possibilities of bad choices it could help. Look around you, how
many real happy couples do you see. Infact as hard as the truth is, we don't have to look so far, some of us are products of an unhappy union. The
choice is ours!
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domwas2 (m)
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I would say, there doesn't appear to be a great deal of difference between years of courtship, except the pace of the relationship and the possibility of intimate contact. The relationship you both share tell how well you both know each other before marriage.
Finally there is no specific year for a courtship because year(s) DOES NOT tells how martual courtship is!
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diyobdw (f)
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@Vickivicki &nateevs  |
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ojuloge1
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i started dating my fiancee while in secondary school.this year makes it 7 years.i am 24years old i just completed my service year,he completed his lasy year and we have started working.i think it depends on when u started. now i know him so much althogh i know i can't know every bit of him but to some reasonable extent.the funiest thing about our relationship is that he does as if he just met me.we are never bored of each other maybe because we didnt involve sex,its not been easy i tell u but i know God will see us through.i think am inviting nairalanders to our wedding
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G I Freiz (m)
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I think it's ok because it helps you understand the person more especially if there is some distance between you two,say Abuja-Lagos or so.It could be too long a time sha if the lady thinks "time is of the essence" and wouldn't want to get too old and undesirable for "the market".Look at this way,why hurry and get into soup that's too hot for you to handle?
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Ryann (f)
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Gd day, New here but I will like to reply on this topic. It both depends on the two of them. before they will go into d relationship proper, they should take into consideration their time of courtship, whatever they decided they belief is good for them. What worked out for A might not work for B, so it depends on the two. Four years is not too long, in fact i ve seen a relationship of 9 years and it worked out for good
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jpapa (m)
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Hmmm well it all depend on when actually the relationship started and the ages of those involve, i have seen people who have actaully spent five years and they are still dating and they yet to be through with skuull  |
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Pappyjesby (m)
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The role of courtship in marriage cannot be overemphasised. Courtship is very important in the sense that; the two parties that are coming together as husband and wife came from different homes with different background. The two of you were not exposed the same way, you are both having different character.
All these need to be harmonized and this is not a day job, human being is so complex to study, therefore it takes time for you to know your patner very well before you will go into the real relationship
Marriage is not what you can rush into, you have to take your time so that you don't rush in and rush out.
To be sincere 4 years is not too long for courtship, rather it will enhance and seal your relationship the more.
This will give you enough time to study your spouse, to know wheither she is having some characters which may not
be okay with you. You can quickly correct such areas before it's too late. To have a succesful marriage you need to take your time to assess your spouse very well because if you will get through in life your marriage will determine
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phanty (f)
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an`immense contribution i must say to everyone
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phanty (f)
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an`immense contribution i must say to everyone
i lldnot say that courting 4 4yrs s too long or not but its clear that wmost of the replies confuse dating for courtship as when we think of anytin about a man nd a woman 2geda s a relationship(datin) that comes to our mind.
I don't think TEN years S ENOF 2 NO A GUY OR A LADY as m stil yung nd want 2 get married anytim soon dou i mite b too yung nd ve really not courted. i dated my ex 4 5YRS
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phanty (f)
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nd when tins started i didnt want 2 bliv it was going to get that bad not that it was terribl but we were yung nd very much in love or so i guess frm d way tins turned out but when events started to unroll i couldnt bliv it was d same person i startd 2 wonder about promises made nd all dou i didnt ve time 2 regret any hurt because i spent alot of tim treatin pain til i bcame an xpertin n pain heeler but it just balls down to the fact that no time s 2 small to no someone
but if u guys say courtin s difft and a last or a concludin step to finalise if u people re commpatible or not den i dnt no y it should take that long but m so sure TEN years S NOT AENOF 2 KNOW UR SPOUSE
like n my case i started real early so even after losin 5yrs m stil yung nd when i saw it was goin nowher i walked out i could close my eyes nd say he loves me because i no he does but its more complicated
its all RISK ND that is what LFE S about
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earthrealm (m)
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like some posters have said before, we need 2 draw a line between courtship/dating/frienship, where/when does one start n the other begin, we need to define the terms, whaTS courtship?, is is when the guy proposes that courtship starts?, or when he makes his intention 2 marry the lady?, or he wakes up one day n says, HONEY!!!, OUR COURTSHIP STARTS 2DAY??? I KNOW A COUPLE THAT DATED/COURTED FOR 9YRS, N TODAY THEY ARE HAPPILY MARRIED, but that doesnt mean that this kind of style would work 4 everyone, in my book courtship shudnt last more than 18mnths, dating/frienship cud last a decade, na u sabi |
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LankyGirl (f)
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na wa for you ooo, u want to court a man for 4 good years? how old are u now?supposing you are 26, you want 2 wait till 30 before tying the knot?"May be you want your first child to be the flower girl .And at the end of the day if he doesn't marry u, you will start placing curses on an innocent man.  |
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Yinkwamo (m)
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Hi guys, have not been around for awhile. Well i've read many write ups by u guys & they are very wonderful but i'll like u to know that a good marriage is NOT a function of how long the courtship lasts. It takes the grace of God & commitment. You'll agree with me that courtship is an avenue where two intending couples understand eachother better & to make ammendments if neccessary for a lasting marriage. So therefore, for those of us that are not yet married, lets not hide our character during courtship, so that our marriages will not crash. But for me, i wish every Nairalander the best in their relationships.  YINKWAMO |
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emelumgini (f)
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Re we talking about dating or courtship.
courtship shouldn't last for more than 6 months
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