Light Skin vs. Dark Skin

you know i was talking to a friend of mine last night about this skin tone issue thing with black people. He is a light skinned guy and he was telling me how he's always been attracted to darker skinned women. i asked him why and he said it was because he always thought a light skinned girl was related to him. i kind of found that funny and strange but that was his reasoning behind it. now that doesn't mean he doesn't date light skinned ladies because he has but he just prefers darker women. i was also talking about how i study black tv shows. i noticed that when a man is dark skinned that they tend to pair him with a light skinned lady and when a lady is dark skinned they pair her with a light skinned man. to some extent i noticed this to be true. many dark skinned men i see are with lighter ladies and many light men i see are with darker ladies. so i came to the conclusion that it must be something about opposites attracting. i have also seen couples that of the same shade. By the way this guy is akata, we were talking about how ignorant black people can be at times. i was talking about my very good friend who is almost like a best friend to me. she is a light skinned girl but sometimes when she talks i swear i want to hit her on the head and tell her to shut the hell up. she makes really ignorant comments about this light skin-dark skin thing. she says she's like that because her mother always tells her to date/marry a light skinned man.  it didn't make a whole lotta sense to me becuase her father is very dark skinned and her mother is very light skinned.  i remember her making some comment about this guy in my school that we all thought was so cute, she was like "he's cute for a chocolate brotha". i looked at her thinking she realized what she just said and what complexion the person next to her was but she didn't say anything. then she made another comment about this guy she went on a date with, she was like " he was not cute and he was too dark anyway". there was this other guy from Senegal that used to go to my school, he was so sexy and a very dark brotha.  He used to always flirt with my friend and with other girls as well. she thought he liked her becuase he flirted with her so much but i knew that's just the way he was with girls. i tried to drill this into her head but she believed that every guy wanted her because everyone tells her she's so pretty. she said she wouldn't mind dating him but she could never bring him home because her mother would not approve of somebody that was too dark. you know that never made sense to me but i just let my anger cool off. so this shows you how ignorant people can really be. i still ask myself if i should ask my friend why she says things like that and why we are such good friends and she doesn't approve of darker skinned people.    sorry if i just wrote a book there.

I really don't see why darkskinned people are complaining about their skin tone.darkskin is in.its not like lightskinned folks rule the world.darkskinned people are the majority,not the minority.there are alot of famous darkskinned people and they are pretty.lauryn hill is dark.grace jones is dark.naomi campbell is dark.tweet is dark.india irie is dark.missy elliot is dark.the williams sisters are dark.sharumba williams is dark.kelly rowland is dark.foxy brown is dark.most black people are dark.just because lightskinned folks are on music videos does not mean that they are in style.nobody wants to be lightskinned anyway.lightskinned people are played out.right now,being light is a trend.and we all know that trends go in and out of style.lightskinned girls have been in style since the late 80's they are starting to get out of style.im darkskinned myself.i used to get picked on for being dark.but darkskinned people are not exactly pitch black.they are mostly chocolate or brownskinned.i think that darks should like their skin color.people are all diffrent colors.people should stop looking at those fake females that don't even exist and learn to be happy.but darkskinned girls really are getting into style.and there are lots of lightskinned dudes that like chocolate girls.it just dosent seem that way because of what yall see on videos.yall need to realize that thats not what black people really look like.black people are supposed to be dark.thats why we are called black.there are italians and biracial dudes that prefer darkskinned girls.my mom is dark,and her husband is lightskinned.alot of black dudes prefer the redbones,and thats why i will never date a black dude.anyway,if someone talks about you for being dark,just say the blacker the berry,the sweeter the juice.darker really is better.this should make yall feel better go to my website www.xanga.com/chocolatedymes  its a site only for the dark and lovely! Smiley look at this beautiful of this darkskinned lady

Aint nothin like a cocoa brown babe..chocolate delight..BLACKER THE BERRY SWEETER THE JUICE....

Both Light Skin and Dark Skin are kwl

well i don't really mind da colour though....i tend 2 be attracted 2 dark skinned uyz..don't know if itz because am very fair and ma bros. r all fair so itz like what i see everyday...i pray 2 God 2 marry a dark skinned dude......click on ma name if u want to see ma colour

wow i thought that the blacker you are the nicer you are and the lighter you are the more wicked you are but i guess I'm wrong.

whether light skin or dark skin, i do not expect everybody to accept a 100% of what each individual have. i want to say that there is no form of discrimination on the basis of skin colour in nigeria. i believe the guy in question just made a passing comment. but if u say he has shown peference to light skin ladies, fine and good. he has only exercised his power of selection among the choices he has. which u and everyone can also freely exercise. keep those who want u and let those who want to walk away from u freely walk.
be confident with whatever u have. blow your trumpet if there is no one to blow it for u.

Ye mon, I've been reading your posts & it makes a lot of sense ole' chap...

ok, i'm going to be REAL no matter who ( including myself ) likes it agrees with it or not.

Yes, most guys like light skinned women. period.  Do i think its right , no . Do i like it, no i prefer a man with substance when it comes to how he views the woman or lady in his life.  My color could change one day.

Yes, most light skinned people are accepted quicker.  Is this right, crazy stupid nuts. But this is life.

Would i prefer to be one color or the other - yes, light.  I look better light. I don't know why but i do.  So does my mom. When we both get darker , usually summer time, it takes away from our beauty.  period.  Again, i don't know why but this is just a fact.  even we wonder why this is so.  We look prettier lighter.

Some of you may think, we've been brainwashed over time to feel light is better looking, to some extent yes, but largely, lighter does usually look better.   Even as a child, you stare and enjoy the beauty of a lighter skin girl with pretty features and pretty hair.  i did. and so did many others i saw do the same. and you too.  its just a fact.  we don't like to agree but for some reason lighter skin looks better.  on people.  and some times i'll see other women or myself being engulfed by the creamy beauty of light skin.  Like other beautiful things in life, it captivates us.  Its one of gods trademark of beauty on the human body.

This is the basis for this arguement and my 1st point.  Lighter skin looks better no matter how we try to reason it and we try to negate that premis by promoting the beauty of darker skin.  Which is also in itself beauty. Especially when very dark and smooth. i'm just keeping it real, saying what no one else wants to say.  but for some reason , no matter how smooth, darker skin usually is not as pretty as light skin, especially on a woman.

Notice i say skin , not always person. I've seen dark skin models look a *&^) lot better than a light skin model.  Beauty encompasses more than skin color, ....skin features, symettry, size, etc.   And for all those light skin women, although you are favored, you also know that you can be overlooked by a darker skinned woman.  I've seen it.  So don't act stupid on me.

I don't have a problem with what i said. what i DO have a problem is people making such a big deal about it.  I have never, nor never shall i entend to be this blunt about this issue.  Only because i felt we were skirting around the fact of the issue that we know lighter looks better.  That is why this thread exists.  The author knows this is true but wants a discussion to negate it.    We may patronize the darker people to help them with their insecurities the world has placed on them, and we should because the world can make stupid, cruel remarks and decisions , But people allowing color to decide who is selected as a mate to help share the weight of the world with for the rest of your days, or who to befriend, or who is placed within their organization is down right IGNORANT.  It's IGNORANT.  I have driven a small lower priced car for years.  No its not a lexus but it's attractive.  This is my 2nd point. Darker skinned women are attractive also.  And i'm blunt if not so, i wouldnt say it.  People act as if , just because lighter skin is more attractive, then dark skinned is not.  I'm fat !  A size 12 with curvy hips and butt and firm plump breast, flat stomach, long shapely legs is more attractive than my cellulite body.  But, I'm still attractive. period . i dress according to my hourglass shape and although you can tell a mile away i'm fat, the cellulite is hidden and the fat is dressed quite well. not said to bulster my confidence, believe me , i'm attractive. i know by the male responses i receive, and i am very conservative with my intimate life ( a lady ) so guys are not approaching me for a sexual intent .  My point is, just because i'm not the favored size and shape doesnt mean i'm not attractive.  My body isnt the MOST attractive but it's attractive. 

I'm not trying to win a gold medal here, so why are the dark skinned sistas sweatin the light skin thing In other words, when you are all alone and thinking about your most  intimate feelings about how light skin is treated, why care ?  And i know these feelings or thoughts cause i've had them about being fat before.  So don't try and say you're not sweatin it when you know you think about it.  I know I don't care about the size thing cosmetically, only for health reasons when i get older.  In other words, maintain your own self confidence, i KNOW who i am light dark skinny fat waif thick, doesnt matter i'm a GOOD woman.  and if someone is stupid enough to define me by something as shallow as skin or body size, i don't want that person in my life b/c somewhere else the stupidity will surface.  and i don't have time for that.

The skin issue is just that.  SKIN.  One looks better than the other, the other just so  happens to look good also.
But to elevate skin color to the level some has, it's like the car thing, the fat thing , the "better job" thing, way tooo much.  Put the color issue and keep the color issue,in your life, exactly where it is - shallow.

I think BeReal speaks eloquently on this subject & a summary would do injustice to her argument.

I agree that one is entitled to a preference; if I am attracted to a lighter skin colour, then thats my prerogative. I couldn't care less what anyone else thought.

A final caveat, is that one should not discriminate an individual (who is entitled to a certain right) on the basis of their skin color...

BeReal your post is something. i must say you are very intelligent. i mean everyone is entitled to their own opinion on this issue. where do i start to explain myself about this whole color issue. i first have to start by saying that i am a dark skinned woman. i get my own share of men, obviously they don't have a problem with my complexion. i have talked to both white and black men and also black men of different complexions. for some reason the black men that i have been with tend to be lighter. why i don't know? could be the opposite attracts thing. yeah as much as opposites attract and people think light is better or whatever, light is not always better to me. white people are light aren't they, i dated a white guy and i hate to say he was just too white for me. maybe because i'm used to having some color, i just couldn't deal with the lack of melanin in his skin. the same goes when a black person is too black. even my own mother said that black people can be so dark it's repulsive. it did sound ignorant but i couldn't shut her up, that was her opinion. i guess this means my dark skin is not repulsive. i am dark but not too dark that people would think it was bad or whatever.i mean i just don't understand. can't well all just love each other for who we are. i don't judge people based on their skin color but i know i am judged based on it everyday.i wish things could change someday, but i guess that's just too much to ask. i don't know what else to say right now. just sick and tired of this whole thing. All i can say is love yourself first and everyone else will see that and love you too. Peace out my people! 

it would help me too 

My writing was long because i felt someone needed to lay out the direct point of this thread.  For skin, lighter does mean prettier.  BIG DEAL .   It's only skin.  Dont let someone else's issues and hangups become your issue.  Just because society feels differently about your skin , you don't have to accept a shallow position concerning your life.  Skin and Life.  They don't even compare.  My 2nd point from the first writing was that people make a big thing about skin and important decisions concerning their life.  Again , skin and life.  Dont allow skin, be it beautifully dark, control your life. IT'S JUST SKIN.

For instance, society feels overweight is disgusting and nasty.  My true response is SO !   That has nothing, i mean nothing to do with my attractiveness. Notice i did not say my looks. B/c it's not my looks, but my attractiveness b/c i am attractive.  This is just a fact.  Why don't you feel the same about your skin ?

So Again, WHERE ARE ALL MY DARK SKINNED SISTA'S ?  There is no need for you to get " sick of this ".  Face up to what's real, accept that,   " ok, lighter is usually prettier but so am i , so what's the deal, i have no problem with this ".    This is THE TRUTH.  Since when do you need society to determine your beauty. especially when you know its already yours. Dont let them take it away. Since i have matured, fat or dark , i KNOW i'm attractive and a bulldozer is needed to convince me otherwise. And my position remains the same.  If i turn dark , i'm still attractive.  And when i've spent hours and hours in the sun during all my years in camp, i was shades darker and i thought it was neat to look different than my usual self.  BUT I WAS STILL CUTE.  AND SO ARE YOU !!! I shouldnt have to tell you this.

For those who feel weight is disgusting, i do not grace them with the blessings of my presence.  This is their loss, for i am a loyal friend and upbeat personality.  So when do you, as a dark skinned woman , believe that you are not attractive because others may say so. You know you're attractive but need someone to tell you ?  Well i am telling you so, but you really don't need anyone to tell you.  You know it that is why you continue writing to this thread and supporting it.  But remember, the world will not. So toughen up that skin, because no one will love you but you and Jesus. 

REMEMBER light skin may be pretty but and a new car smells good and denzel is fine .... but at the same time

        DARK SKIN IS PRETTY AS WELL.  THIS IS MERELY A FACT.  SOCIETY CANT CHANGE THIS.
               SKIN IS JUST THAT.  TURN YOUR MENTALITY TO A HIGHER GROUND.  SKIN IS NOT WORTHY OF SO MUCH FOCUS.
                      DONT LET SOCIETY'S IGNORANCE BECOME YOUR ISSUE. HAVE AN IND MIND. A TRAIT OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE.
                              AND HAVE JESUS. HE WILL REMIND YOU OF THAT BEAUTY IN THE MIRROR.  AND OUT .
                               

we tell you say we dey worry about our colour? ...please,is anybody here bothered about his/her skin colour?

Snazzy,

I meant to say, you need to stop worrying about the skin color of others.

i think Nigerians become too engulfed in the issue of skin color when they come this country where it benefits you to be lighter skinned. lord Knows that Majority of black people are dark skinned. i know it wasn't that much of an issue when i was in Nigeria unless i was just too young to notice it. what do you all think?