|
ituen (m)
|
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
BiggerBoy: You can't fool me, snakes don't have feet.
HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Bigger Boy: Don't bite any.
BiggerBoy: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
BiggerBoy: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
BiggerBoy: One dollar.
TEACHER (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
BiggerBoy (sadly): You don't know my father.
|
|
|
|
|
|
ituen (m)
|
This old man in his eighty's (biggerBoy) got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, "Where are you going ?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
And she said, "Why? Are you sick?"
"No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he said, "Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."
|
|
|
|
|
|
ituen (m)
|
Extracts from BiggerBoy's CV
Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely
nothing.
I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job hopping. I have never quit a Job voluntarily
Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave and They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.
The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
Finished eighth in my class of ten.
References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
ituen (m)
|
There was this young boy. As he was leaving to go to church, his mother gave him a dollar for the collection plate. On the way, he passed a hamburger stand, and bought a hamburger with the offering money. He ate half, and decided to save the other half for after church. He put the other half in his pocket.
During church, the preacher was preaching, "The Lord is everywhere, He's in the heavens, He's in the air, He's on the earth, He's in your house, The Lord is everywhere!"
The boy jumps up, says, "Preacher, can I ask a question?" "Sure", says the preacher. "Do you mean the Lord is everywhere?" "yes, He's everywhere".
The boy reaches down, opens his pocket and says, "Lord, if You're in there, please don't eat my hamburger!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ituen (m)
|
Its because your my boy and i brought you up
|
|
|
|
|
|
Migines (m)
|
@biggerboy
i like that strategy
"when things fck u up, try fck things up"
|
|
|
|
|
|
biggerboy (m)
|
@biggerboy
i like that strategy
"when things fck u up, try fck things up"
u dey feel me?  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
tope_teadr (m)
|
Bigger boy, i dey feel u like mad.
|
|
|
|
|
|
biggerboy (m)
|
Sure dude
Bigger boy, i dey feel u like mad.
God bless u my boys |
|
|
|
|
|
iwajay (m)
|
Ituen now wey u don sho say na u train smallerboy, atleast waive the carry over for him; will you?
|
|
|
|
|
|
biggerboy (m)
|
Na true o.I don even forget say i get outstanding carryover
|
|
|
|
|
|
richo (m)
|
lol this jokes are funny men! thumbs up iteun, some fools post all kind of shit in this place that is ment for jokes.i dey laff u biggerboi. rusty old thing? gaddam thats sooooooooooo funny!!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
biggerboy (m)
|
lol this jokes are funny men! thumbs up iteun, some fools post all kind of shit in this place that is ment for jokes.i dey laff u biggerboi. rusty old thing? gaddam thats sooooooooooo funny!!!!!
Richoco abi wetin b ur name?Na me u dey yab? |
|
|
|
|
|
mdsocks (m)
|
biggerboy !!!! i no know say you dumb like this o |
|
|
|
|
|
biggerboy (m)
|
No be my fault.
Abeg,make una beg oga make he waive the carryover for me
|
|
|
|
|
|
Emperoh (m)
|
Extracts from BiggerBoy's CV
Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely
nothing.
I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job hopping. I have never quit a Job voluntarily
Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave and They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.
The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
Finished eighth in my class of ten.
References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
@ Bigger boy. Thsi ur CV is so scintilating. I have a job for you but you will write a test, if you pass, 3 interviews. Don't ask me the job because I want you to dismember ITUEN.   |
|
|
|
|
|
Migines (m)
|
@biggerboy
Na na na. Don't even start that wid me, u know who's boss.
|
|
|
|
|
|
biggerboy (m)
|
*all eyes on me*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Khams
|
hmmm!! an interesting cv |
|
|
|
|
|
inxx (m)
|
bc na ituen nobody wants to say anything, don't any 1 here know that these jokes are re=cycled and has been posted in Nairaland for more twice
Migines if na some 1 else posted it (apart from your partner in crime) the first u would ve said is "seen it before, recycled"
don't worry i know what to do !
|
|
|
|
|
|
tope_teadr (m)
|
Biggerboy no start with migines okay.
|
|
|
|
|
|
showbobo (m)
|
*clears throat*
|
|
|
|
|
|
tope_teadr (m)
|
Showbobo, logout before i lay my hands on you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
temmysexy (f)
|
na wa for u guys oh. funny |
|
|
|
|
|
Migines (m)
|
@inxx
u myte be ryte(seriously)
but if u notice, i dint comment on d jokes(and hes lucky i didnt)
if u've read some of his oda posts u'll knw i really don't give a damn who d poster is.
|
|
|
|
|
|
showbobo (m)
|
@Tope why do you like bullying me everytime  |
|
|
|
|
|
![Nairaland [Nigerian Forum] Home](http://www.nairaland.com/Themes/default/images/english/home.gif)
Author
