Can I Meet U Single Mummys

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Author Topic: Can I Meet U Single Mummys  (Read 501 views)
amievivian (f)
Can I Meet U Single Mummys
« on: November 17, 2007, 01:13 AM »

this is new to me, i would like to meet people in my kind of situation
though my child is still a baby
i need to know how to deal with her growing years, her dad and oda things
looking forward to meeting u
vigasimple (m)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #1 on: November 17, 2007, 01:20 AM »

Are you a single mother or married and in a stable relationship with the father of your child.

The two are completely different.

If you are single mother as in father not available, then you may be able to learn from other single mothers but if you are married or in relationship with father and mother present look for friendship with married couple in particular as you will not learn much from a single parent as they have different situation

Single parenthood is an aberration, the idea situation is as a family unit- Husband, wife and their children.

Good luck
amievivian (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #2 on: November 21, 2007, 04:05 AM »

i am single, not married to the dad
i would like to meet people whom i cld learn tins from
well mayb not jst single mums but also dads n nyone in the house who cld help out wit advice evry now n den
tnx people
adeboo (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #3 on: November 23, 2007, 06:47 PM »

I am a single mother and am ready to give you all the advise u need.

I am a single mother of a nine year old daughter.
ONUNOT (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #4 on: November 23, 2007, 10:21 PM »

I am a single mother.  I don't mind helping you as much as I can.  How old is your child?
amievivian (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #5 on: November 27, 2007, 03:08 AM »

Quote from: ONUNOT on November 23, 2007, 10:21 PM
I am a single mother.  I don't mind helping you as much as I can.  How old is your child?
she is a year and 5 months old
want to thank you so much ladies for responding to this
sumtyms am at a loss on what to do, thankfully she is still a baby
but what do i do when she grows and stat asking questions bout her dad n y we bear different names and so on, i read that sumwia n its been bothering me since
adeboo (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #6 on: December 04, 2007, 12:50 PM »

When she starts asking about her father - tell her the truth, if you don't know where he is - tell her that.
If he doesnt want to know - just tell her you don't know where he is.
God willing, before she gets to that age - you would have found someone that would fill that gap.

Never say anything bad about her father - just say positive things alone.

My daughter's dad is in and out ns she understands that - it is sad but she is dealing with it.
jintujinta (m)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #7 on: December 04, 2007, 03:38 PM »

Well, am not a single father but i just feel i may be able to chip in some pices of advice when necessary. But if you don't mind, can we start from the very begining. That is to say, do you mind telling us how you got into the state of being a single mother. this could help people when they want to profer solutions.
naijabands (m)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #8 on: December 05, 2007, 11:04 AM »

I am a single dad, but as jintujinta said, it will be really unfair of us (on both dad and baby) to start talking about what we do not know the Genesis of!

How did it happen? Long term relationship that went awry as a result of the pregnancy? One night thingy? Tell us, it will give us all a better perspective to see from. 
adeboo (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #9 on: December 05, 2007, 02:17 PM »

Am sure its right to know the genesis of the story but the bottom lime is that she is a single parent. Whether it be her own fault or his, she is a single parent and she needs advice.

Like i have maintined, i feel she should be honest with the baby when they are grown.
uspry1 (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #10 on: December 05, 2007, 08:22 PM »

I am a single divorced mother of two children at age 19 and 14 to be raised all those years despite of their father failed to visit them often, he values his job and stupid materistilic more important than his children.

Like @adeboo has said it, i maintain my positive honesty to my children during my divorce times---NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF, where their father is. They knows what kind of father he is, they see the true color of him finding it very disgusted but that is their father they respected to.

Turning out both my children are well-mannered, well-educated, and active church youth choir. They both are strongly bonded with me more than their father, because their father missed the opportunity seeing them grow up.

My 19 yr old daughter lives her own place to attend her medical school, to have full time job, and already bought her new car already.  She still visits see me frequently more than her father. Her father(my ex-husband) and I live separatedly residence in a short distance, not even see each other.

My 14 yr old son still lives with me attending his high school.

Like you have heard the common quote "divorce are affected to children", it does not happen to me. My children are SUPER-FINE!
adeboo (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #11 on: December 05, 2007, 09:16 PM »

Uspry1 girl, kudus to you. I wish that i can do all that with my daughter.
You have done so well, girl by God's grace you will enjoy the rewards.

It is a hard job and someone has to do it. @ Poster, don't worry girl, u will be fine, you will cross those hurdles when u get to it.
amievivian (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #12 on: December 06, 2007, 04:58 PM »

Quote from: jintujinta on December 04, 2007, 03:38 PM
Well, am not a single father but i just feel i may be able to chip in some pices of advice when necessary. But if you don't mind, can we start from the very begining. That is to say, do you mind telling us how you got into the state of being a single mother. this could help people when they want to profer solutions.

@ naijaband

we were in a relationship for a long time, 4yrs actually
things just didnt work out no matter how hard we tried
its a long story
A.OYEGBESAN@YAHOO.COM (m)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #13 on: December 25, 2007, 02:19 AM »

Viv sweetie

Its is very brave of you to come to the house to seek help. Whatever has happenned has happenned, forget the past, now deal with the situation as best as you can, be positive , be honest with the child. You baby will see the efforts you would put in and when she would grow bit older will support you.

God bless you.   
amsky (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #14 on: December 26, 2007, 08:02 PM »

hello dear,i'm not a single mom,i'm married to the dad of my kids,but this post caught my attention.you can't bring up a child without the help of THE ALMIGHTY.you can do it by being on your knees at all times.even if you had a hubby,you will still need HIS help.do ur best for your precious baby,and leave the rest to HIM.



good luck
kunle75
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #15 on: December 27, 2007, 01:54 PM »

@poster,
God will help u,just make sure u put him first in all u do and tell ur baby and most importantly be honest.stay blessed.
mariejane (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #16 on: December 27, 2007, 03:14 PM »

m not really a single mother  though i hav two kids i call my own, (they are my sister's ) but i will like to give u a million dollar advice, bring your child up in the way of the Lord, with the way the world is changing, so many things r happening and what better help do you need than the Lord's even if you are a moslem, bring her up the way Allah would want you to, when the time comes to tell her whatever story you want to regarding her father, please don't paint him in a bad picture, if he's bad, time will tell.My mom brought up 4 of us singlehandedly and i don't regret it at all.Though i know my dad it does not make any difference  because i had all the love i needed while growing up and am better for it! Do take care of yourself.
tuneh (f)
Re: Can I Meet You Single Mummys
« #17 on: December 28, 2007, 04:35 PM »

Hi, I'm also a single mum, my girl is 2+ years and is a real drama queen, a huge bundle of fun. The dad was not there right from her birth and the only way I've been able to cope is by surrendering all to God. It's still not easy and I'm wondering how I'll tell her the truth when the time comes without blacklisting the guy: you know the saying, 'if you have nothing good to say then say nothing'? well i have 'nothing' to say about the dad!
But my testimony is that God has given me a wonderful and gifted little girl who will definitely affect her generation (the gifts are already manifesting). If your girl understands that you love her, she will only be mildly curious about who contributed the sperm to her existence. It's only if she's not getting any affection that she'll wonder if she could have gotten it from her dad were he around.

tuneh
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