Is This Marriage Really Worth It?

It looks like we have the same time zone do you perhaps live in Europe??? Please don't allow our Afro bro/sis spoil your marriage for you stop greeting them on the street, or will you be greeting people like that if you were married to a Nigeria man? (fa fa fa faol). You know our naija men and how protective and jealous they are of their women. Same goes for the oyinbo's oh.

@BLACKCAT

Yes,i live in europe, and sorry,am not nigerian, i just find this forum so interesting and helpful, I can count on some of the advises i get from here since they make sense and sound mature, unlike the other forums

My apologies, I didn't know you weren't a Nigerian anyways all Africans are very protective of their wives and who their wives associate with same goes for whites (even worst when its interracial marriage). I am married to a white man now for 2 years, I'm talking out of experience.

Patsy, surely, you have the liberty to say hello, be it in Europe or Africa, there should be no difference, but if you notice that it gets on your husbands nerve then stop it, but make sure that he too doesn't hang around or say hello to other girls.

And one thing I must tell everyone here is that, only Africans living in Europe ( at least those with good home training and not only ) greet each other even if they don't know each other. I personally do, core Europeans DONT DO THAT!!!  so make sure that he doesn't turn you into a slave. If he says don't do it, then he too should not. Leadership by Example.!!! shikena!

@poster,
 you had better run because he seems to be playing on your intelligence.

one more question, where are your parents, brothers, sisters, those that are really close to you, ?

'LoveKing' Read the thread again, she said she is black and her husband is white,

@Finemocha


They were not friends,they were strangers when they met, the woman is also european,  and from what i know,there relationship was not good when they lived together and thats why they had to separate, the intimacy between us is no longer there, and i don't even crave for it from him, sometimes i feel he favours her more than me, and when i ask him why he married me,he says, "because i want a future with you"

This must be very difficult for you @ poster.
I live in the United Kingdom and I in the past dated a white girl.So I will contribute to this post from my personal experience.

Number 1 rule:White people are totally different from black people.

So if you ask me I think culture and background has a lot to do with what you are going through.In my own case while we were dating,this girl would insist I come and spend the night over at hers.She was living with her folks.I didn't think this was right and I always refused.One night i went over for dinner(abi supper as they call it) and it went on forever.As it was getting late her father stood up and said-"I guess you will be spending the night here,have you good night guys".That can never happen in an african home.You are not married to a girl and the parents are suggesting you can sleep in her bed!I discussed this with my then girl friend and she told me-"My father knows I am already having sex and he cannot stop it,so why pretend about it".That is the white man for you.I eventually left because I couldn't understand how she could continue being close friends with her ex-BF and yet claim not to be physical with him.But after working as a counsellor for many years I have come to realise that the white man actually does not see anything wrong with being friends with an ex.And truly there would be nothing physical going on.It is just how they are.Sometimes a divorced couple can continue living in the same house because they cannot afford to split the house.In that same house they will have their different partners come and spend the nights with them.These people are very very very different from us.

I think you failed to take that into account before marrying him.It could have been love.But they say marriage opens our eyes to so many things we didn't see before jumping into it.Talk to your spouse and make him understand your background.And if you cannot deal with this,then why remain unhappy,do what you think is right.

And above all,even if you lose this don't lose the lesson you have learnt from the marriage!

All the best.

i think your husband married you because he wanted a submissive wife and you are proving a bit difficult.
keep your head low and be patient . the mother of his child is playing games. play along. he will get tired and stop as long as you play the good wife.

seun what i wrote is a matter of fact.
the average white man  and i mean from west Europe that marries a black Russia,  or any east block  woman Lets add Thailand want a submissive wife. thats why they marry them in the first place.
If the poster had shown he true colour before he would never have maried her,
The mother of his child is playing a game, if she wants to win she has to play along.
the rolls have changed " horror ex wife has become lover and ex lover  has become  horror wife.
The man dose not want to hear bla, bla bla. when he komes home.
Thats the man she picked.
she is only married for 13 months and is thinking of giving up.?
she played her cards wrong from the start

No one knows what the future brings, and the only person i can be totally submissive to is my God, to my husband too, but only when he  is rational and when he deserves it,

Why should you marry a man who wants you to behave like a fool?  I don't understand women at all.

Marriage is all about endurance, patience and love its not a bed of roses as most people think, just be prayerful.

If your husband had been allowing you to send home money, they would never have been against him

I'm glad you are in a better frame of mind and always remember to seek the approval of your creator. No matter how you look at it, the decision is yours to take, final! Endurance and the fear of God are very good but rare qualities. May God give you the right decision.

remain blessed.