As A Last Resort. . .

An instructor in the Nigerian Airforce (NAF) was drilling a new corp of recruits on the techniques of bailing of a plane in mid-air.
Instructor: On jumping out of the plane, reach over your right shoulder and pull the rip-cord. This will open your parachute. . .
Recruit 1: What if that doesn't work?
Instructor: No problem. Reach over your left shoulder and pull the other rip-cord to release your back-up parachute.
Recruit 2: And if that still doesn't work?
Instructor: Then you use the kapersky manouver.
Grab your ankles and pull your knees up as high as possible.
Put your head between your legs and push it down as far as possible. . .
then kiss your arse good-bye.

Nice one